N O T I O N A T E
adjective [noh-shuh-nit]

Strong-willed or stubborn.

~ ~  ~  ~  ~

You rested your head against the window as you pulled your knees to your chest, seated on the window sill. You sighed and watched the street outside on which a person or a car seldom passed. The pitter-patter of the rain was soft enough to put you to sleep, even though you had woken up only four hours ago.

You noticed Barry standing at the curb, staring at the street and everything it had to offer: the shops, the parked cars, the people, the streetlights, the trash bins and the four-story buildings that housed people.

Barry looked up to you, minus any emotion, and you gave him a half smile. You placed your palm against the cold pane of the window and he raised his hand to wave back at you.

You shut your eyes and thumped your forehead on the glass. You hated every moment of your life right now. You wished that it would turn out differently, it was partly your fault.

A week ago...

"Barry, how does this look?" You asked him with a bright smile as you placed a knee length red dress against your body. You walked closer to him within the living room.

"Fine."

You raised a brow and he looked up to you flatly. "I said it looks fine," He repeated and you rolled your eyes.

"How about this?" You questioned, showing him another dress, a black one, that had a hint of shimmer.

"Fine."

You groaned, "For God's sake Barry!" You stormed towards him and threw the dresses on the sofa, crossing your arms after doing so.

"What?" He mumbled.

"Are you alright?!" You asked loudly and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Why are you pissed all of a sudden?"

"I bought that black dress with you three months ago, you loved it!" You yelled.

"So? My preference has changed," Barry answered and got up from his seat.

"Your preferences don't just... change Barry!" You argued as you followed behind him, "I'm concerned about you Barry, don't keep things from-"

"Why are you so concerned about me? Leave me alone-"

"I love you Barry, of course I'm going to be concerned about you!" You exclaimed, "You're barely sleeping properly, you've secluded and isolated yourself from the world and you're literally not eating a thing... What am I supposed to do Barry? If I'm having a hard time dealing with this them how the hell are you supposed?!"

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" He exclaimed after turning around suddenly, "I didn't ask for your help! I don't need anyone's help-"

"YOU NEED HELP BARRY!" You screamed, hurting your throat slightly, "A therapist or a doctor or something! You need to see someone and talk to them if you're not going to talk to me. Please... should I be on my knees and beg?!"

He stepped towards you and looked down at you, his nose almost touching your. "I don't need anyone's help, I AM FINE," He clenched his jaw, "I'm not going to see anyone, I'm perfectly okay [y/n]."

You were tempted to spit on his face right now, he was being an asshole. All he cared about was his image and how it would get ruined if the great 'Barry' is seen at a therapist.

He needs the help. You haven't made any progress with him, he refuses to talk to you about it. The stress and paranoia attacking him from the world is going to eat him alive.

He became more aggressive and serious... something the Barry you got to know in the beginning was far from. He was a completely different person now.

*****

2 days later...

"Barry?" You called out for him for the fifth time but there was no response. You were sure that he was somewhere in the apartment.

You rolled your eyes and stepped out of your bedroom, walking towards the living room. You have literally not heard him say a word ever since you had that argument with him.

"What are you-"

You stopped suddenly, staring at the balcony window with horror. Barry was sitting on the metal railing and your apartment is on the 7th floor.

You ran towards the door, jiggling the door handle that seemed a little jammed, then swinging the door open. "BARRY WHAT THE F-" You yelled at the top of your lungs as a gush of wind blew your hair onto your face.

He didn't turn around... And you were about to lose your mind.

"BARRY?!" You rushed towards him and were hesitant to startle him, and making matters worse. In the end, you grabbed his arms and pulled him back, causing him to almost topple over onto the balcony floor.

He removed the earphones in his ears and you started to breath heavily. "What's the m-matter with you B-Barry?!" You said and started to cry in disbelief.

"Hey no no no, I wasn't going to jump p-please-"

SMACK!

You slapped him right across his face, forcefully, looking away immediately and burying your face in your hands.

"H-Hey I wasn't going to jump-"

"You selfish BASTARD!" You scolded and slammed your fist into his chest with rage, "You only f!@#ing care about yourself! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING-"

THUMP!

He slammed you against the wall, causing your head to hit the surface hard. "I WASN'T going to-" He began to yell but stopped when he saw your eyes droop. You felt limp all of a sudden, you couldn't keep yourself standing upright.

"[y/n]? Hey... what's-"

You reached to your the back of your head and gulped when you felt your hair soaked in... blood.

"Oh my... no no no," Barry mumbled and pulled you inside the apartment. He rushed you to the kitchen and scrambled to find a washcloth. He filled a bowl with water and threw in ice cubes, bringing it to you.

You were about to pass out, you felt light headed. "Stay awake [y/n], you'll be fine okay?" He said, hands shaking from being nervous and frightened.

You sighed as he soaked the cold cloth to your head. "Your making it hard for me to l-love you Ba... B-Barry..." You shut your eyes and rested your forehead against his chest from being tired.

He swallowed hard, realising the pain that he's caused you... without being conscious of it, even though you warned him.

And he promised that he'd fix himself up... and he wouldn't come back to you till he's better.