T O T S I E N S
interjection [tawt-seenz]

Until we meet again; goodbye.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

"You must be thrilled today," Your mother said with a smile and you bit your lip. You knew exactly what she was referring to but you felt conscious about reacting to it.

"Of course mother, he has been away for so long," You told and continued to sketch on the sheet of paper placed on the table in front of you.

"Well know that I'm going to prepare a lovely roast," She informed and you nodded your head happily.

Robbie Turner, your fiancé, was coming back home today after being drafted in the war for almost eight months. You didn't want him to leave, you didn't want anything to happen to him, but he had to serve for his country. He did not have a choice in the matter. Every young man was being taken away from their families to fight on the battlegrounds.

"Mother, I'll be leaving for the station at quarter past. Would you like anything from the market for the roast and such?" You asked and she shook her head.

"I need nothing at all dear, you go and pick up your Robbie," She kissed your head then walked into the kitchen after exiting the study.

You waited for a moment then stood up and grabbed your coat. You wrapped it around your shoulders then picked out a hat to match your outfit. You stepped towards the main door and looked outside the window. The small garden of produce was blooming brightly.

You stepped outside and decided to harvest the ripe vegetables. You gathered the tomatoes and carrots in a basket then walked over to the orange and apple tree and picked out best looking of the bunch. From the basket, you took out an apple and wrapped it in your handkerchief. You thought you'd take a gift for Robbie.

*****

You stood on your toes peering over the crowd to see if you could spot Robbie anywhere. You felt sad that other couple and families were being reunited but there was no sign of the love of your life anywhere in the train station.

As the crowd began to disperse and the station grew vacant, you walked over to one of the guards and asked him about Robbie. He led you to the register that the train conductor had given the head of the station and started to look through all the names of the passengers on that train.

"I'm sorry ma'am, Robbie Turner is not a name on this list. He did not board the train," He informed and you furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head with confusion.

"But I don't understand, he was supposed to arrive today. They had sent a letter to my family nearly a month ago," You explained and he shook his head.

"At times some soldiers get drafted again. Maybe Mr Turner has been escorted to another location," He said and you sighed, "I can phone the chief officer and ask him about Mr Turner if you would like ma'am."

"That would be of great help, thank you, Sir," You said and sat at a bench beside a small store that sells food and drink.

You almost dozed off, you sat there for almost forty-five minutes, watching trains arrive and leave the station and with every single one making you more despairful. Moments later, the conductor came walking towards you with a frown on his face.

"I apologize for the lengthened wait ma'am, but we have no news of him. He is most likely drafted to another camp and our new list has not arrived yet," He explained and you rubbed your forehead.

"Alright thank you for your assistance," You answered flatly and walked out of the station. You glanced into your handbag and spotted the glossy apple sitting inside. You frowned with melancholy then quickened your pace towards the cab stand to take you home.

*****

T

hree weeks later

"Oh stop sulking [y/n] and help your father in the garden," Your mother instructed you with slight annoyance and you sighed as you got up. You didn't feel like doing anything around the house.

It has been exactly three weeks since you had visited the train station in plans to pick up Robbie but then received information that he never boarded the train. Even though you felt demotivated almost every single day after that, today you felt at peace... Perhaps a bit optimistic that you would be seeing your Robbie soon.

You exited your house and walked over to your father who was picking out some flowers for the dinner table. "Hello love, give these to your mother would you?" Your father requested and you smiled at him.

He passed over a couple of daffodils and roses to you and you rinsed them with a little water before walking back into your house.

You placed them in a vase filled with water then showed them to your mother. "A gift from your husband," You grinned and she smiled brightly, taking a sniff of their scent.

"You'll see him soon my dear, he's doing work to keep all of us safe," She kissed your forehead and you frowned.

"But I miss him so much," You mumbled to yourself and-

"[y/m/n], the mail has arrived!" Your father announced as he walked through the open door and placed the envelopes on the table.

There were various kinds of telegrams and postcards, as well as bills and certificates for all members of your family. Also, there was today's newspaper at the bottom of the pile.

You grabbed the paper and sat on the sofa by the window, getting enough light to read the words comfortably. There was news of the war and its close success, as well as the financial state of the country and some of the world.

The politics and economical news didn't interest you much but-

You sat up straight and glared at the paper with confusion. You had seen Robbie Turner written in bold at a quick glance without any context.

You looked at the top of the page and filled as you read the heading. You threw the newspaper in dread and bit your lip hard, thinking about what it could mean.

You looked at the page one more time to confirm that you weren't hallucinating then grabbed it and ran over to your mother, immediately breaking down to tears.

"Dear what on earth is the matter?" She asked with concern and you pointed at the page opened on he newspaper.

"Mother r-read th-that..." You sobbed and buried your face in your hands.

She looked at your tearfully as she read the heading. At that moment your father entered the kitchen as he wiped his hands with a towel.

"What's going on?" He questioned and took the newspaper from your mother's hands. Your mother walked over to you and hugged you tightly, rubbing your back slowly and stroking your hair to comfort you.

"Obituary..." Your father looked to your with pity and you watched him as you wiped the tears rolling down your cheek.

Your father read out loud, "Our hearts go out to the families of the many soldiers that lost their lives in this hateful battle to defend our country. Below are the names of the passed on, to be honoured and remembered for the years to come..."

He followed his finger down the list of names and stopped on the fifth last one in the first column, where 'Robbie Turner' was written in bold, with his date of birth, day of death, and designation.

Your father walked up to you and hugged you tightly after your mother let go. "H-He died a day before all the other s-soldiers came back home! I never g-got to say goodbye to him... I n-never got to spend my life with h-him," You cried, muffled as you buried your face in your dad's chest.

Your father looked to your mother with the utmost grief, tears forming in your eyes as well at the sight of his daughter in so much emotional pain.

There's nothing your mother or father could say that would make you feel better... Nothing at all.

And you'd feel like that likely for the rest of your life.