Peter's POV

This is the story of my pathetic love life...

I'm 11 and I never had a single crush or lover before. Unlike all my other friends who already has girlfriends and boyfriends.

But there was this certain guy... that takes my breath away. His name is Wade. Wade Watts. Oh sorry, my bad. That's from Ready Player One and is not even a Marvel film. His name is actually Wade Wilson.

He's the most handsome boy in my eyes. That face...the scars only made him look more manly. Oh so sexy.

He's got girls and boys alike, lining up for him.

But there's nothing I could do. He already has a girlfriend, Vanessa. She's pretty, I must admit. But she stole my man!

Well, life can do you any worse than that. I admit my defeat. He moved schools so I probably won't see him ever again.

It's been almost four years and yet, I'm still hung up on him. Now I'm 14 almost 15 and I'm going to tell you how it all started...

Back then, I had a playgirl friend. Her name is Mary Jane and when she was ten, she already had 8 boyfriends. She's one of the people who starts all the drama.

So I was talking with three of my friends while one was ignoring us and talking to the other one, walking ahead of me and Mary Jane.

I knew that I liked Wade, so i just had to get it out.

"Hey, Mary Jane. I have something to tell you but you must promise me that you won't tell anyone. Okay?" She nodded in response.

"You know Wade Wilson in our class, right? Yeah... ithinkimighthaveacrushonhim."

"Woah. Pete. Slow down. What did you say?" She asked me with curious eyes.

I heaved a sigh before repeating what I said earlier. " I think I might have a crush on Wade Wilson." I closed my eyes from fear of seeing a dissapointed look.

I slowly open my eyes to reveal a grinning Mary Jane. I was about to say something but she cut me off with her high pitch squeal and ran up the stairs, passing Gwen and Felicia. They gave me questioning looks which I just returned a shrug.

Then, I saw Mary Jane walking back to the two ahead of me and i could see the girls all jumping around excitedly.

Then they ran away. Probably to gossip in the toilet.

Being the lazy ass I am, i slowly walked up the stairs. Waiting for my terrible secret to be let loose.

A few moments later, three girls come running out if the bathroom with red faces.

"Hey, Peterrrrrr. A little birdy told me that you have a crush on Wade Wilsonnnn. Is that true?" Felicia ask me with a winning Cheshire grin.

"Yes" I sighed.

Then i shot a death glare at Mary Jane.

"I thought I told you not to tell anyone!"

"Sorry, Pete. But it's such a good news! So sorry not sorry." And with that, the three of them ran away to our next class.

~After school~

Here comes Harley, the gossiper of the group. What can he possible want now.

"Hey, Peter! I heard you like someone. So who's your first love?"

I know that he is a gossiper but I really want to tell them. Show them that I have emotions too. "It's someone in this room. He shares a lot of features with me. For example he has super powers. I think that's enough" I quickly covered my mouth. The only superpowered people in here is Wade and I. I'm screwed.

"Oh my God! You like Wade?!" Harley practically screamed.

"Shush, well you! Good think he left or my whole life would be screwed. Now leave me alone with my pathetic feelings." It's common knowledge that Wade has a girlfriend who is extremely pretty. I can't compete with that.

~A few days later~

Somehow. The whole year group knew that I like Wade. And being the popular kid that everyone has a crush on, I get a lot of hate.

~One day...~

Today I have a Stark thingy to attend to so I had to skip school.

The next I went to school, there was a letter in my locker. It read:

Who do you like, Peter?

I won't tell you who this is.

I like you.

I'll give you a hint. My name starts with W*** W*****.

Really. I like you.

I love you as much as life itself. I will die for you. I will wait for an eternity just to know if you like me back.

Are you sick today? Why aren't you coming to school?

Whatever it is. I want you to know that I care about you.

You can tell me what you want. Your wish is my command.

I love you, Peter.

Written: 22/11/2016
Delivered: 23/11/2016

Wade Wilson

Wow. Just wow. I know my Gwen and Wade's friend wrote this cause there are just to many flaws in it. For one, everybody knows i like Wade. Why did they write "who do you like, Peter?" When you already know? Second. Ita too cheesy for his type of writing. Third, I can recognise my friend's handwriting anywhere. And there it is. On the paper. Last but not least. I was at school on the 22 which he supposedly wrote this letter.

I wrote down all the evidence that Wade did not write this and sent it to him, hoping he could stop his friends from messing with my life but all he did was show the stupid letter to his seatmates which just happens to be Felicia, one of my friend and Vanessa's friend. I guess that's why Venessa hates my gut. He gave me the letter back and told me straight to my face that he doesn't want to do anything with me. That I'm annoying and disgusting. That I'm a piece of trash. That I'm so ugly even a piece of pickle is prettier than me. I loved him but I didn't think he could be this harsh. Imagine having your first love say that to tour face. But the most painful thing was what he wrote back of the letter: Can you fucking stop sending me your stupid letters? It's annoying. You're annoying. Don't talk to me.

Even if his words cut me like a knife, I still kept it because that's the most we ever talked till now.

Okay, I get that I'm annoying. I goof around. But I never sent any letters! Just that one. Everytime I read that message, it breaks my heart little by little...

Everytime I pass his desk, I would give him indirect kiss. Cause that's how helplessly inlove I am with him.

I always try to look the best everyday in hope's that he will like me back someday. But everytime I try, his words keep on repeating in my mind. Making me insecure about my self.

I try to tell myself that we could never be anything more than just mere strangers. But I still love him. Until now, I still do. Even after he move schools, just the thought of him makes my heart flutter.

~Present time~

Everytime I think about him, mixed emotions comes up.

Love.
He was my first love.

Hate.
He broke my heart with his harsh words.

Sadness.
He was my first love that wanted nothing to do with me.

Anger.
He broke my heart when he meant (almost) everything to me. He stole my heart but then put it in the trash can after smashing it into a million pieces.

And just... Blankness.
I must respect him. He has to live his own life. I can't control him. I'm glad that he's happy, even if I'm sad. I'm okay. I'm okay. Am I okay? I'm making a story about him, for God sake! I'm not okay. He's still on my mind when I talk about love. He will always be. It's been 4 years and I still haven't gotten over him. I haven't seen his face in forever yet I still live him. It's crazy! I'm crazy...

I actually have his contact number. Thought we could be friends, at least. Maybe he can forget all about those bad feelings he had about me and keep them in the past. But I just can't. I'm too much of a coward.

What if he doesn't reply?

What if he says to fuxk off?

What if he blocks me?

What if he says the same harsh things that will leave me broken for another 4 years?

'What if's always fills my head everytime I wanted to text him something.

I guess the best thing to do is just live my life the way it is. Spend time with my friends, help Aunt May, go on Patrol with Tony. Find I someone else who would actually love me back. Because I don't want a boy, i need a man...

I don't have to rely on Wade to make me happy. I just realized. I could be happy with other people who actually loves me. Unlike that son of a bitch who broke my heart...

Let the past, be the past. Just look up to the sky and see the new possibilities out there!

-18 July, 2019