3rd Person POV

"Behave, Kid. Don't get in trouble, and most importantly, stay out of trouble." Tony sent him a warning look.

"Isn't "dOn'T gEt In TrOuBlE" and "sTaY oUt Of TrOuBlE" practically the same thing?" Peter asked with a confused yet mischevious look. The one he learnt from his uncle.

"Yes, so I better not get a call from the principle, alright?"

"Yes dad." Peter chuckled and kissed his dad's cheeks. "And when is Papa coming back?"

"I'm not sure, Bambi. But I'm sure he'll come back soon. He misses you." Tony smiled warmly, not the smile he used in front of the media, but a genuine one.

"Alright dad. I'll swing to school now." Peter bid his goodbye and jumped out of the window.

This happens everyday so really, nobody expected much to change.

Well, maybe except that one day, the teacher announced to their class that they were having Parent's Day, anyone who does not being a parent or guardian to school will get a F on their report for participation.

To say Peter was left flabbergasted is an understatement.

I mean, how was he going to being the Tony Stark, AKA Iron Man and Thor, the goddamn (puntended) Avengers, to school without risking his identity as Peter Thorson?

There really was no way around it.

So Peter and his dads will just have to settle with stupid disguises that will probably not work anyways.

The moment Peter bought this up to Tony, he let out a hearty laugh and nearly choked on his shawarma, but then seeing the look of uneasiness on his son's face stopped him instantly.

"Don't worry, Bambi. I'm sure your Pops wouldn't miss it. Even if he is in Asgard, I will find a way to tell him and we'll be there. I got this." Tony smiled and kissed the top of Peter's head. "Now go to sleep. You don't want to go to school looking like a panda."

Peter giggled happily, punch Tony on the shoulders (lightly of course) and ran to his room nonetheless.

Now that he was left standing alone in the kitchen (The rogues were still rogues, Vision was with Bruce in the labs, Rhodey was working with someone named Carol Dancers at the airforce, T'Challa was in Wakanda shouting at Shuri for making his panther suit pink).

He looked around the room, looking for things to call his husband, and ended up getting a fake plastic knife and 'stabbing' himself near the stomach.

Not even a minute later, the bifrost was imprinted on the Avengers Tower landing pad, and a God of Thunder was rushing over to the billionaire.

"Oh God, Tony my love. What have you done?" Thor started to fuss all over Tony, who was definitely not stabbed whatsoever.

"Hey babe." Tony smirked and Thot looked up from the 'wound'.

"You are okay?" Thor asked like a sad puppy.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just needed you here cause your son has parent's day and he needs us there." Tony gave Thor a peck and hugged the God tight.

The next day

"Good morning son." Thor boomed, already with his disguise on.

"Morning Bambi." Tony spoke, also with his disguise on.

"Wow Dads. You two look amazing." Peter snickered and poked the Asgardian happily.

"Okay. Now tell me your alias." Bruce said from the table, sipping on a mug if hot espresso.

"Alright. My name is Kirk Lazarus Parker. I'm a 5 time academy award winning method actor who did a pigmentation alternation for this film I'm doing right now." Tony said with a smirk.

"Okay, now Thor." Bruce munched on a quackson...I mean croissant.

"Very well then. My name is Christina Hemsworth, now Parker after marrying Kirk, and I teach Norse mythology in a school about 15 miles away. I rarely get to see my son because I am handling many classes and I have to make the lesson plans so I am mostly locked away in my office, then I come home late so I do not see my son." Thor recited.

"I think we're good to go!" Peter beamed excitedly and ran to the elevator.

The Avengers smile fondly st the teen and the two adults ran after him.

Timeskip

"Hey Penis. I'm so sorry your parents are so tired of you that they killed yourself." Flash shouted from across the hall and wipe away a fake tear.

Peter had ran ahead, excited to get to class. Thor and Tony were still walking casually, smiling to some of the parents and finding their way around the many hallways.

"My parents didn't kill themselves." He scolded. "Only because I never mentioned them doesn't mean they're dead." He hissed but regretted it immediately when he got shoved into his locker.

Flash walked off, scowling at everyone, but smirked when he saw his fancy parents.

Just then, Thor and Tony, will now they're Christina and Kirk. They walked and found their son halfway into the locker. They didn't assume someone was bullying their son since they thought he would fight back. After all, he had the ability to.

"Hey Peter. Whatcha doing, buddy?" Tony asked as he stood beside his son's locker.

"Oh nothing dad. Just getting some stuff at the back of my locker but I can't seem to find it." Peter lied.

"What are you looking for, son?" Thor asked, trying to keep his volume down.

"I'm trying to find my...my phone."

Tony didn't say anything but got out his own Stark phone and dialled Peter's number.

Peter felt his backpack vibrate, and with a red face, he pulled out his phone.

"Its in your backpack, you dummy." Tony laughs at his son's fully red face.

Peter knew it was in his bag, but it sure didn't stop his face from going bright red.

"Oh." He chuckled, embarrassed.

"Well then, let us get to class, loves of my life." Thor smiled kindly at his two boys.

"You and Peter, you go ahead. I'll just go to the bathroom. I'll catch up." Tony shooed them away and turned left to where the bathroom was located.

The two Asgardians talked about everything and nothing, bringing up stuff from Loki to the Odin sleep.

When they stepped into the classroom, everybody got quiet. Everybody assumed that Peter didn't have parents since he never talked about them.

"H-hello, Mrs. Parker." The teacher spoke timidly. "Come in and have a seat."

Thor didn't move for a second, only remembering soon after that he's supposed to be Parker, and not Odinson.

He hastily moved to where Peter was sitting, the boy offering a chair next to him and a slightly chubby boy he assumed was Ned, Peter's best friend.

"LOOK EVERYONE! PENIS BOUGHT HIS DEAD PARENTS TO LIFE!" Flash roared, expecting everyone else to laugh at his lame joke, but to his dismay, no one did.

Peter saw his dad tighten his grip on the school counter, so he had to calm the God down before he broke a normally unbreakable (for a normal human being) desk.

A few seconds later, the boy felt his dad calm down and slump into his seat.

Tony walked in a few minutes later, all eyes on him and people whispering to each other.

"Glad you could join us, Mr. Parker. Please have a seat." Tony nodded and marched to his family.

"Hi Ned." Tony whispered to the other boy who smiled widely.

Ned knew who Peter's parents were, and he was more than thrilled to have Tony Stark talking to him, even if they already talked countless of times.

Parents go and parents come, soon enough it was the Parker's turn.

Tony went up first, getting in to character.

"Hello everyone, my name is Kirk Lazarus Parker, I'm Peter's father, and my wife, Christina Hemsworth Parker. As you may or may not know, I'm an act-" but before he could finish, the jackass of the class interrupted him.

"Oh look!" Flash tried again. "The loser bought his parents. And one of them is an actor! You must have such a bad job you practically have to beg people for food with the money you get form your poor acting job." He snickered.

Tony clench his fist tight, but continued nonetheless.

"I'm an actor, and I'm acting in a high grossing film that is about to come out. Make sure you go see it when it comes out!" He winked and gave the mic to his husband.

Thor accepted it and gave his other half a smile.

"As you may know, my name is Christina Parker. I used to be a Christina Hemsworth before I married the love of my life." Tony smiled and a red hue cover his cheeks. "I am a teacher at a school about 5 miles away, and I teach Norse mythology. That includes Thor and his Asgardian people."

Peter almost snorted when he heard the last bit.

"Oh oh! Tell them about how Thor defeated his sister Hela!" Peter chimed in and waved his arms excitedly.

He had heard this story many times, afterall, he is the guy himself.

"Ah yes. I- I mean Thor has a sister names Hela-"

"No not that part. The part where you- I mean THOR fought against the dead Hela army!"

Then they heard a scoff.

"As if Penis could possibly know more about Norse Mythology than me. I'm sure that didn't even happen. Stop lying, Penis, and I'm sure your mom isn't any better than me." He boasted and puffed his chest out.

His parents paid no mind to it, not until they saw Thor break the mic with his one bare hand.

"What the-"

"Don't you dare call my son that! He is not some stupid idiot like you, you whore!"

Loud gasps echo throughout the room.

Mr. Thompson immediately stood up and tried to punch Thor.

The key word being 'tried'.

Truth is, the moment his fist lands on Thor's face and the God didn't even flinch, his wig got pulled away while Mr. Thompson clutched his hand in pain.

Another series of gasps filled the room.

The weather outside became incredibly darker, lightning striking down near them.

"Dad don't!" Peter yelled as he jump over the desk and ran towards his father.

Tony wasn't really having it either, and he had already called his suit to come.

Peter knew what his Pops did, and he groaned. he really didn't want to do this.

Thor got rid of his stupid dress and the lightning strikes down on him, changing his outfit to his King-warrior armoury, the one the people of New York saw him wear.

Yet another loud gasp filled the room.

Soon after, they heard the sound of armour clicking together around Tony, the man pulling the face mask that altered his appearance (like Nat in Winter Soldier, I think) and the class who would probably lost their voice if the gasped one more time, gasped.

"I-iron man and Thor?!" Flash squeaked and hid behind his also extremely pale father.

Peter sighed. It was either this, or his parents murdering someone.

So with a heavy heart, green magic very much like those of Loki, surrounded him, and soon, he was wearing his Spider-man suit.

And you guessed it. The class let out a huge ass gasp.

He switched to his specially made webs, the one infused with uru metal, the same material that made Mjolnir. This webbing was exceptionally strong and could hold an Asgardian down.

Peter webbed his two father together, face to face, as he send a large electric bolt towards them, shutting the Iron Man suit down so that he was basically standing still against his husband, unable to do anything.

Tony smirked to himself, lifting his face plate up, and giving Thor a long chaste kiss.

"Oh my Loki, get a room!" Peter yelled but then he found himself standing infront of the God of Mischief who had just appeared out of thin air.

"You called?" Loki asked as he quirk and eyebrow.

"Hello Uncle. I didn't call. But can you please take dad and pops to the Tower? They're stuck together until the web melts." Loki nodded in understanding, but before he could reach the two men, he turned around.

"Do you want me to wipe their memories?" He asked and motioned to the class with his dagger.

"Actually, that would be nice. Thank you!" He smiled and his uncle Loki smiled back.

When everyone is under Loki's spell, the four of them quietly made their way out, and drove back to the compound.

Peter sighed. He seriously wonders what tommorow will being once he steps back into the familiar building of his school (read: prison). He would probably get bullied, since technically no one would know that he is actually a Thorson...but he seriously needed a nap right now. Too many things happening and he needed some rest. So that's what he did. Closing his eyes slowly, he whispered "I love you 3000" to the empty room.

-26 August, 2020