Before I grew older, I had been scared of monsters
Monsters which shown up in movies,
Monsters which hunted down naughty children in bedtime stories.
They had always been the main characters
of a series called "my childhood nightmare".
But then I had been able to escape them
Just by waking up.

After I grew older, I knew that they were products of imagination and creativity.
But I also knew that they were nothing compared to
Real monsters existing in the clear daylight
And sadly enough
There was one residing within my mind.
I tried
tried
tried
and tried
But it was impossible to lure it away
Since it haunted not only my dream, but also when I was awake.

There is a monster residing within my mind.
It's eating me from the inside by the time I am writing this
This monster is different from others
It hunts no naughty children but rather
Happiness
Excitement
Confidence
It eats them all
It leaves a hole within my body,
An endless pit that can never be filled.
It creates scars both physically
and mentally,
Incurable ones.
The monster is persuasive and determined
Its voice is too loud that no positive thoughts can pass through my mind
Its shadow is too dark that no color can be seen through my eyes
Its hands are too big that my ears can't hear a thing
The monster leaves me with nothing but
Anxiety and stress and thoughts that scare me
Am I good enough?
Have I tried hard enough?
No assurance can boost my confidence
Since the monster has digested it completely
No positive thoughts can cross my mind
Since the monster has covered my ears with its hands
Since the monster has overruled them with its voice
So stop asking me to be more positive
I can't
The monster has stayed with me for so long that
I think it is my friend

I am trapped with a monster.