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Forgiveness.

Forgiveness was the one word blaring louder and louder in Iliana's mind... a tortured, growing symphony. One word, yet it held so much meaning and weight over the blonde currently.

Who deserved it, and who didn't. Who's earned it, but largely- who hasn't.

Damage. It really comes down to the damage that one has caused. Irreversible. Undeniable. Damage.

Iliana swallows, knowing she didn't deserve forgiveness- God knows she doesn't. But she did have something she needed to say, and get off her chest... before it killed her, swallowing her whole, destroying her from the inside out for the past year.

Could she do it? Could she- she's a fucking pussy, she's BEEN a fucking pussy. She took the pussy way out a year ago the morning she decided to leave without saying goodbye... when she LIED. Lied. She's a liar. She's a fucking fake- Oh, God. Jordan was right. Jordan's always been right when it comes to Iliana... because who knows her more? Who's seen her from the inside out, the good, pretty, and the ugly... and loved her anyway?

"I think I know you better than anybody on this campus, even yourself. Until you shut me out and ran away to be their little poster girl for superheroes. You're a sellout. You're a sellout, and a fake, and a cheat, and a coward, and a liar. Iliana Riordan, ladies and gentlemen... She isn't your little hero, she's actually a selfish little bitch."

Yep, not a single lie was told, or had left Jordan's mouth. That's what stung the most.

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I check my phone for a text from Andre as Emma, Jordan, Marie, and I ride to elevator down to The Woods. Nothing. I shut my eyes for a moment, sinking the back of my teeth into the fleshly inside of my cheek. Fuck. We are running out of time.

The doors open as my eyes do and Jordan's the first to step off, coming to a halt and I stop, running gently into their back before looking around them, gasping slightly-

"Oh, Jesus." They let out. Marie and Emma come around us, glancing down the hall as I stare at the security guard's face punched in... or where his face once was, blood splatters painting the concrete.

"Oh, fuck." The words fall off my lips. We're too late.

Marie inhales sharply. "Emma, you clear the Performing Arts center. Okay, teachers, administration." She swivels her head over to Jordan and I. "Jordan, Iliana, you sweep the student union."

"Okay." I nod, forcing myself not to zone out as I snap my gaze away from the guard. Jordan and I will be together.

"There's a panic button in Shetty's office. Under her desk. It'll lock down pretty much everything." Jordan thinks fast.

"Okay." Marie exhales. "That's where I'm going." She determines.

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Jordan and I make it outside, starting across campus when I slow, my heart absolutely hammering so hard, and so loud, it's deafening, and I feel like my chest could explode. But I have to say this now. I have to say it now, or I never will, or may not get another chance to so.

"Wait." I hurry out.

"What? What's wrong?" Jordan spins around, brows furrowing.

"I-" I swallow a shuttered breath. Say it, Iliana. "I-I'm sorry."

"What?" Jordan asks genuinely as if they couldn't believe what I had just said or didn't hear me, and take a step forward.

"I'm sorry." My lip trembles as I force out a sigh to keep the oxygen in my lungs. "God, I'm so sorry." A harsh lump forms in my throat. "You were right. I am a liar. I'm a fucking liar, and I didn't want to admit it, but I am. I'm a liar, and a fake, and a coward. And I've been lying to myself my entire life." I think Jordan actually stops breathing for a moment as they look stunned. "But today I'm done." I shake my head. "It's you, Jordan. And it's always been you. I've never, ever felt how I feel when I'm with you. And it fucking scares me. And I've been terrified to accept even the possibility that I might not be straight. But I'm not. It's 20 goddamn 23. I know it's not rare, and it's nothing new, but it was to me. And I couldn't be." I screw my eyes shut, leaning my head back before staring at the light blue sky. "I couldn't be the face of God U, I couldn't be the shiny new toy, the girl desired by every horny male on the fucking planet and be in love with someone who's a guy and a girl. And when I met you, and was attracted to you both ways, it scared the hell out of me. Because I didn't know that part of myself yet, but it's who I am, it's who I've always been. And I'm so in love with you. All of you, every part of you. The moment we met, to the first time you switched in front of me... our first kiss, the first time we had sex, you have touched, and seen, and tainted every part of me and I haven't stopped thinking about it, about you... or about that morning for the past year. No amount of alcohol, drugs, or pain can make me forget you. I accepted you, Jordan Li, long before I accepted myself. And you deserve more. You deserve more than to be inclusive token student. You deserve to be shown and loved, loudly, and proudly. Not lied to, not broken up with, and not betrayed and have your darkest insecurities and fears thrown in your face like it was nothing." My vision glosses over as I tip my head back down to look at them. "My whole life has been a facade, but the way I feel about you never was." I finish, my chest heaving up and down as their eyes bore into mine.

"Say something." I beg. "Please. Say something, anything. Say you hate me, say you don't feel the same way, but God, please say some-" In one smooth and swift motion their body is pressed tightly against mine, hands cupping both my cheeks, and their soft lips mold into mine as I melt into them.

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𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽 sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

Hello, hellooo... AND WELCOME BACK TO GOLDEN FACADEEE!!

I know I've said this beforeee... but the end of this chap has one of my fav scenes I've written for this bookkk!! It was actually inspired by a buddie edit (Buck & Eddie from 911) to Good Luck Babe! And it came out so raw & gut-wrenching & beautiful for Iliana, & thought this was the perfect time for it!! I've known since the beginning some conversation like this would happen in the finale, but couldn't have dreamed of a better love confession/coming out scene than this!!

I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!! Anddd, this I think is the last 'calm before the storm' chapterrr, so next chap sh!t gets crazy & sh!t gets realll!! BUT OMFG MY ILORDAN HEARTTT <333 That moment has been a LONG MF TIME COMINGGG since the very beginning of this book when they first saw each other again in Brink's office & ugh I just love them so much omfggg!! AND JORDAN BEING SPEECHLESS & THEN DOING THATTT>>>>>

Don't be afraid to comment your thoughts, questions, & reactionsss, & untilll next timeee, mwah!!! <3333