𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

I slam my door shut behind me, breathing heavily as my fingernails dig into the sides of my arms and the sun shining through my window only intensifies the singeing of my skin.

"Open the door right now." A voice appears on the other side of the door as they bang on it, causing me to jump.

I stomp over and rip open the door and Jordan shoves right past me. For a second I think I literally stop breathing.

"What the fu-"

They cut me off. "What the hell was that?!" They yell at me as I remain frozen, the door slamming shut behind me.

They haven't been in my room in over a year.

"What was what?" I manage to get out, begging myself to gain some composure.

"What you just did back there! What the fuck was that?!" They proceed to shout.

I scoff. "Oh, you mean what you have been up my fucking ass for since I've been back? Oh that?"

"I didn't ask you to do that." They argue.

Are you FUCKING kidding me?!

"YES you fucking did!" I laugh. "If I recall you called me a liar, and a fake, and a sellout, and begged me to tell everyone it was you who actually did anything, so I finally told the fucking truth for once!" I yell at them, my chest rising up and down. Did they get fucking amnesia or something...

"Yeah, but I didn't want you to ruin yourself while doing it." They snap.

I scoff out another laugh. "Oh, pleaseee. Give me a fucking break. That's all you want. And now you have it. How does it feel?" I narrow my eyes at them as they stare at me.

"What're you trying to do?" They ask.

"What?"

"What're you trying pull?" They cross their arms.

"Nothing." I click my tongue. "Maybe I just wanted to be a good fucking person for once!" I shout at them, the same freeing-weight-lifting feeling creeps up my spine. "I'm exhausted." I admit, kicking my feet against the floor. "That girl who came to God U ready to heal and help the world, bight-eyed as fucking ever... she's tired." I heave a sigh. "I owed her."

Oh. My god. I cannot believe I am having this conversation right now. With Jordan. As they're standing right here. In my room. In front of me. As they watch fall apart.

"And what about you hurting yourself with your powers, what the fuck is that?" Jordan gives me a pointed look and all I can see in their eyes is hurt. Anger. Fear.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I shrug, crossing my arms.

They take a step closer. "I notice more than you think." They say softly. The room fills with silence, other than the breath I shudder out. They pay attention? That closely? Still? They still care? "I know you." They take another step. "Like the back of my hand."

It's fucking terrifying for someone to know you. Know you so deeply, in a way that no one else does.

"Do you remember our first date?" Jordan asks as I am for once speechless. Words literally will not form in my brain or leave my mouth. I wanna scream and melt myself into the carpet right now. "I mean, technically, it wasn't a date, but you insisted on going to Olive Garden after I told you I loved their breadsticks and I was homesick."

Of course I remember.

"You even told me to go in my girl form." They let out a chuckle. "No one had ever said that to me before." Another step. "And when the waiter kept hitting on you and asked for your number you told him to fuck off, and that you were on a date."  They take a final step and my breath hitches. It's like my entire body has forgotten how to properly function around them. Earlier I was it, I was on fire. Now? Now they're making me crumble. Now I'm vulnerable.

"And do you remember what you told me?" They bring me back. "That you wanted to be number one. And I said I did too. Then you said game on." They pause, smiling weakly before looking back up at me from the ground, watery brown eyes reconnecting with mine. "But you don't remember any of that, right?"

I can't breathe.

"How could I forget?" My voice comes out barely audible. I've dreaded having a conversation like this for months and now it's playing out right before my eyes... And I wish to be anywhere but here.

I remember after that we ran to the bathroom and made out. And that was my first time ever kissing a girl.

"You said I was 'too fucking scared.'" They look down, nodding before they begin pace the room. I lick my lip as they chuckle. "That I never step out of line."

"You didn't feel that way when you fought off Luke." I swallow.

Luke.

Would you be proud of me?

Disappointed? Thinking I was capable of more?

Wishing for a different sister....

"You were right." They nod. "You were fucking right, like always."

My mouth parts before quickly closing.

I think the world just stopped.

"But I can't just color outside of the lines and do whatever the fuck I want like you." They add quietly. "But you're gonna get yourself killed." They stop right in front of me.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask, chuckling. "You'd get everything you've always wanted." I smile weakly.

"No." They argue. "Not everything." They close the space between us, changing to their male form as they lean in and my heart literally stops beating. They look at my lips then at me and their hand meets my cheek and my eyes flutter shut at the cool touch of their rings  as our lips connect, molding together like they've always belonged.

For about ten seconds, everything stops...

Until my brain catches up to my mouth. Oh, fuck.

My eyes shoot back open and we break apart. I look at them dazed as my forehead creases.

"Fuck." They let out. "S- I, um, sorry, that's not what you were talking about." They chest rises as the swallow, taking a step back.

I haven't kissed them in a year. Felt them, felt their touch. I need it. Now.

"Just-" I shake my head, pulling them back into me by their chain-necklace.

Their arms immediately snake around my waist, pulling me even further into their hips causing my finger nails to tighten around their shoulders. Our lips move in perfect pace of each other, both fighting for dominance, hungry for more— starving.

Like we haven't kissed another person in years.

They lift me up and my legs wrap around their waist as their hands move to cup my face and they cross the room, slamming my back into my wardrobe. I gasp for air as their lips move down my neck, slowly sucking each part as they trace down. My hands are frantic up and down their chest and torso before I move to the hem of their shirt to tear it off when suddenly my door is ripped opened and—

"Ohh, oh shit!"

"Oh my God."

Jordan and I pull apart and turn to the side in horror as we find Marie and Emma standing by the door with wide eyes and gaped mouths.

"Oh my God, I knew it!" Emma whisper-shouts to Marie. My head whips to Marie confused. "After what you told me when you met them, and club!" My eyes widen as I look mortified at the two of them.

I think I'm gonna die.

Why the fuck are these two in my room?!

"Emma, I told you we should have knocked." Marie mumbles to her.

Wait— Emma— Oh shit!

"Emma? Emma!" I let out, still trying to process everything.

"Hey." She smiles, out of breath. I sigh in relief. Oh, thank God! Andre and I didn't get her killed. We didn't get her killed!

Jordan gently lowers me back to the ground.

"Uh, hi." Jordan holds up their hand.

I blink at two idiots in front of me. "What the fuck are you two doing in here?!"

"Oh, right!" Emma nods, looking at Marie. "Sorry, Sam is going after Dr. Cardosa."

My eyes widen- Sam?! "You got Sam out?" I gasp.

"She just got back to our room a few minutes ago to tell me and we came straight here." Marie says, looking at me.

"You were with Sam?" I repeat, needing confirmation. My head is spinning. Everything is spinning actually.

My lips are tingling—

"Yeah. He's actually kind of hot." Emma smiles.

"Uh, ew." I shake my head. I did not need to hear that. "Ans he's where?? You lost him?!"

"I-uh, he just ran off." Emma throws her arms up.

I rub my temples. "A lot is happening right now."

"That's what I said!" Emma chines loudly and I glare it her. I feel like I have a hangover from what just happened.

What just happened... What. Just. Happened.

With Jordan.

Jordan.

I whip my head back to look at them. Yep, okay... it definitely happened.

"Do you know who Cardosa is?" Marie asks, bringing me back to the problem at hand. One of the many.

"Dr. Cardosa." Jordan speaks up. "He used to work with Brink." They glance at me with a worried look. "I know where he lives."

"Oh, shit." Emma exclaims.

Oh, shit is right....

𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽 sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

AHHHH!!! Holy fucking shit y'all, IT'S HERE!!

Ilordannnn KISS, I REPEAT, ILORDAN KISSSS!! ILORDAN NATION RISEEEE!! <3333

I have been DYING & waiting for this moment since the beginning of the planning stages & omg was it worth the wait.

This is genuinely my favorite chapter I've written so far, not just for this book, but I think ever!! This has definitely been my favorite episode to write so far too, ugh!! I'm just so happy I could cry😭🩷

NOW, ALL Y'ALL BETTER comment on this chapter & DO NOT let me down !!! Hahaha, but no seriously I'm gonna NEED everyone's reactions for this entire chapter, bc it had me SCREAMING !!

(And yes, Emma & Marie are such cock blocks lmao)

Okay, on to the next, & final, part!! Mauh!