𖤓
𝘖𝘩, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘳
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯

𝘐'𝘮 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴
"𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦" ...
"𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥"
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𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

Almost there, almost there...

With every step Iliana takes towards the black SUV here to pick her up she feels ill, and entirely drowning in guilt.

You have to do this, Iliana, you have to. For the school, for you, for Luke....

But she didn't want to, not in the slightest. She didn't want to leave her safe comfort that she called home at Godolkin. She didn't want to leave her classes, her best friends, her twin, Jordan.

"Are you fucking serious?" The feminine side of the voice that has become all too familiar to her rings out causing her to stop in her tracks.

Don't turn around, Iliana, don't you dare turn around.

"You were really gonna leave without telling me?" Their voice tries to remain strong, but sounds  defeated. I try to quicken my pace as their footsteps sound closer and closer before my bicep is grabbed- "Hey!" I'm jerked back into them once again, just as I was the night before, and I'm forced to look up at them in horror, the feeling of battery acid rushing up my throat. "Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Get off me, Jordan." I shove out of their arms, pushing them back and they switch as I choke out for air, begging it to reach my lungs.

They look at me with betrayal as their eyes angrily gloss over. "You were gonna leave without saying goodbye? Are you fucking serious, Iliana?!" They shout at me.

I shake my head quickly. "You weren't supposed to be out here."

They shake their head with a chuckling-scoff. "That's all you have to say to me?"

My chest bubbles as the words leave my lips. "What else do want me to say, Jordan?!" I raise my voice. God, this wasn't supposed to happen like this, this wasn't supposed to happen, this isn't happening right now.

"How long?" They ask, falling deaf upon my ringing ears.

"Huh?"

"How long. Will you be gone?"

So they know I'm leaving to shoot a movie now.

I lick my lips. "I-uh, like the whole school year, Jordan, I don't know." I choke out.

I need to leave.

I need to go. Now.

They shrug. "Then I don't get it." They throw their arms out. "Why does that matter? I can come visit you on set, we can still-"

God— every inch of me shatters, five seconds away from completely falling apart.

"No. No, you don't understand, Jordan."

"Then make me understand, Iliana!" They shout back at me, breathing heavily from their words.

"I can't have this conversation again, Jordan."

"What fucking conversation, Iliana? We didn't even have one!"

"I can't be with you." The words come out, cutting through the air like a sharp blade. A double-edged sword. But I have to let them go. And that means making them hate me. "You know that. You know why."

Their nostrils flare. "Then fucking say it."

"Because you're not a guy." I look up to the sky with closed eyes, wishing this could all be over and that I was in their arms right now, rather than ripping their heart out and stabbing them with their deepest insecurities. "Not-" I suck in a deep breath. "Not all the time." They take a step back, horrifying disbelief striking their face. Pain wrapping itself around them and their eyes. "And I can't be with that, I can't be seen with that. And I-I can't love you." Oh God- it hurts. "I don't."

"Can't?" They take a step forward. "Or don't, Iliana? Might wanna get your story straight, even though you're not."

I raise my chin up, lips trembling. "Goodbye, Jordan." I say firmly.

I gasp awake, flinging up I claw at my chest as I begin hyperventilating, drenched in sweat and tears.

"Goldie? Goldie, Goldie, Goldie." Andre rushes to my side. "Breathe, Goldie, breathe!" He panics, pinching the sides of my arms which feel numb before he starts rubbing my back.

I cough, blinking rapidly as I suck in huge gasp of air, oxygen finally reaching lungs. My vision finally starts to unblur and my eyes focus on Andre's terrified face in front of me.

"Are you okay?" He scans my body for any sign of injury. "What the hell happened?"

"A nightmare." I choke to get out as I cling to his shirt, singing the material.

He nods, resting his chin on my head.

"Wanna order breakfast and get high?"

I let out a laugh, blinking the tears away. "Fuck yes."

𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

I shove a fat ass breakfast sandwich into my mouth, savoring every bite as Andre takes a hit of the bowl before we trade off.

When I was on set for the past year I wasn't allowed to eat anything like this.

"I gotta tell you what my dad told me last night." He says, taking his bite.

I blow out the smoke slowly as I look up at him, nodding for him to proceed.

He sniffs, clearing his throat. "He knows about The Woods."

I snap my head up to him, mouth parting slightly. "What?" Did I just hear that correctly?

"He knows what they're doing, Goldie." He shakes his head. "He-he knows everything. And he just told me to fucking drop it." He takes a deep breath. "I just, don't know what to do anymore."

"Hey, it's okay, you can talk to me." I reach out, grabbing his shaking hands.

"I just- I knew I had to do something after he told me that. For you, for Luke. I mean, how could he tell me to just fucking drop it!" He raises his voice before it breaks, causing my heart to sink. "How could he just not care?" He hangs his head in shame. "How could I want to be just like him?"

I swallow harshly, feeling terrible that he's had to shove all of this down and not be able to talk about it because he's been dealing with me.

"You're not." I squeeze his hand. "You are your own person, you're own hero." I sigh with what I'm about to say. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to look up to him, Magnet." He looks at me, shocked, opening his mouth to argue, but knowing better he closes it, hearing me out. "But then changing what you don't like about him to be better."

"But what if we can't find Emma?" He voices the concern that's been eating at him. I notice the dark purple underneath his eyes, knowing he didn't get much sleep last night due to the guilt...

I can relate, though my guilt is for an entirely different reason that I haven't even thought of Emma because of it.

I tilt my head. "Don't say that." He looks up at me. "We'll find her, and Sam. I'm sure of it." I chew on my lip in thought, cringing when one pops into my head. A bad one. A desperate one.

"You leave that to me, okay? You've done enough to last a life time for me, and Emma's gone because of my brother, so why don't you let me handle something for once, hmm?" I look at him determined.

He cracks a soft smile before looking serious again. "Are you sure? I can come with you." He offers.

I take one last hit of the bong before handing it to him. "I'm sure." I nod strongly, already regretting my plan.

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𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽 sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

Heyyyy lovelies <3

I cannot express enough how much I fucking love y'all for reading, commenting, voting on, and supporting this book! I seriously love it so, so much.

I know there's been a lot of Andre and Iliana scenes, but I just cannot stop, I love their friendship so much. And although he did make me mad for (cough, certain thing that's coming, cough cough) I think he's really underrated and him and Iliana's friendship is truly one of my favorites I've ever created & written!

Anywaysss, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FLASHBACK THAT ME FUCKING CRY AND I'VE BEEN DYING TO WRITE THIS SCENE THAT I'VE HAD PLANNED SINCE THE BEGINNING AND KNEW IT WAS GONNA STAB MY FUCKING HEART OUT... yeah... </3

Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, don't forget to comment your thoughts, questions, and reactions! See you in the next part, mauh!