Star Nostalgia
A/N- This is more like a bunch of thoughts strung together than a poem. At some points it's free verse and at some points I think it rhymes. I honestly don't know what I was doing with this poem. It's seven pages on Google Docs too, so it's not short. I think I was just vibing and thoughts came into my head and I wrote them down in poem format. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!
If you can see yourself in the stars
They're probably your own stars
If you can't remember which stars are yours
Look into your heart
They'll surely be somewhere in that big space
There are a lot of stars in my heart
I've collected them and left them there
Over the years, as I've grown
Many stars have fallen from the cosmos above
And engraved themselves in my shining heart
I love each star equally
Pat them and kiss them every night and day
So they can bloom, I give them the water of my blood and sweat
And the food of my boundless love
My dreams were always a bit too much
But these stars shine in me, fed by the effort
I put in to achieve them, and tell me 'We'll get there someday,'
I put my faith in them as they have in me
And know one day I'll become what I want to be
I have my own style, and so do my stars, we're all unique
How can you tell which ones are mine
They're usually the most well-fed
I feed them daily, with the sadness I endure from following my dreams
I'll become number one in this bland world
Add a splash of my colors to this stark white population
Of depressed adults, always watching news and working overtime
They'll be dyed a bright tie-dye with my lovely rainbow heart
So they can find their own stars someday
Asian, European, Australian, African, whatever race you are
We all come from the same earth, so we all are the same and beautiful
We can share the same stars, I'll give mine to anyone, if they're kind
I don't prefer one over the others, that's not right
I'll accept anyone, race or emotional background notwithstanding
You can never find fatter stars than mine, but that's fine
They're beautifully fat, they belong that way, they're nicely well fed
Don't you disrespect them or fatshame them now, they're really hot
They'll burn you badly, but I'll be there to kiss your hands
Spread my healing balm all over you, make you mine
We can share our stars now
Which ones are yours? The smallest ones
Which ones are mine? The fattest ones
Now there's a problem here
Your stars are so underfed, they're about to die
What terrible things have you been feeding them
False success and false blood don't get your stars anywhere
Feed them real things, and they'll grow fat, like mine
We can share our stars, give me some of yours
I can bleed and sweat a bit more, and love a bit more
So gorge yourself, beautiful star, so you shine brighter
If it tastes bad for you, it's probably good
It's the same for my feelings, they feel bad for me, but they're good
If my blood can fertilize our flowers, I'll bleed endlessly
If my sweat can water our flowers, I'll heat myself up forever
See, your stars have gotten fatter now,and so have mine
Look into your heart, don't you hear that small twinkle?
Your stars are happy to be fed, they dance around like lovers
My stars are more mature, and are happy behind closed doors
Whatever way you are happy, it's a blessing, lovely art
People will see it no matter how you display it, and be happy too
As I get closer to my goal, my stars fade away
They were only there to help me, and now my effort tastes sour
To them, it's stale, and they'll fade away forever soon
But, then, when I struggle, give me your stars
I'll hug you closer, cuddle you, and pat your head
You can always lean on my small shoulder
Come closer, so I can pat you a little more
I'll give you some extra sugar, so you don't lose it
Where's my sugar? I need some too, I can't survive without a little
Whatever, I'll pour my own sugar cream into my mouth
Snap my lips together and feel smooth cool ice cream flow
Down my throat, the taste of endless summer
Sweet fruity sorbet and tasty caramel guide me away
From a boring adult life, I swore I wouldn't become what I am
Part of a crowded, uncolored population, simply reflecting norms in a broken society
But I guess I did, I lost my stars and color, can't you give me a bit
Of your sweet stars, so I don't lose and have to reset this game again
Tasty candy stars, being a child is so much fun
I hope that you never grow up, that I can stay with you forever
I want to be young, with you, forever
Even if you say I'm addicted to this game, it's fun to play
Can we play monsters and princess forever
I'll be the monster, be my true self, be yours
I know you're the beauty, and I'm the beast
But sometimes the beast is a fun character to play
Drop your props now, I know you don't want to, but it's school time
Time to learn how to become a typical human, following the system
The paths we're told to choose are so boring, can't I be a child forever
So I can just eat star candies and be sweet and loved endlessly
Being bullied as an adult is no fun, nobody supports you then
At least I was supported as a child, I need some more support now
Take a nostalgic bite of a sugary star, not too much, now
Remember, I'm on a diet, need to get skinny for my newest interview
This is my fiftieth interview for a job I don't even want
Can't I just go home and play some Pokemon or something
I want to look at cute games from my childhood and reminisce
Not try hard to become an office worker and sweat for a goal I don't support
Even if adults say I'm a weird one, not 'typical' 'weird'
I define my own 'typical,' you're 'weird' to me
Here, want to reminisce, have a candy star and sit with me awhile
This music is from our childhood, turn the volume up
Care a little less, try harder in the game, not in life
Your life in this game is what makes you young, it feels better
Next time, when we bump into each other, just ask me
If I want to hang out, definitely, after some work, I'll hang out
I watched that K-Drama as a child, it made me cry and laugh a lot
Put on the saddest episode, the most relatable to the two of us
It's definitely this one, thank you for catering to my request
We're not typical adults, but we're special that way
Whoever says, 'I'm totally a typical adult,' is lying
They just want to fit in, they're idiots for doing so
Be yourself, you're lovely the way you are
You're sweeter than these candy stars, and will be my friend forever
Keep your childlike innocence and surge forward like a tsunami
I'll smile for you, my dreams are yours
When you feel swamped, just eat a nostalgia star
Wherever you remember, you'll be there
I'll be the Beast, you be Beauty
My unstoppable heart can save you from everything
The dreams that rise from the corpses of similarity are yours
Take them and pull them close to you, so when I go
You can struggle on with my dreams warming your heart
You may not be typical, and may not just be black-and-white
But being gray in a black-and-white world makes you special
Bite into your candy star and wish for me
I'll fly over to your side, share your candy with me
These nostalgia stars are almost out, but we don't need them
We're full of hope and color, and can dye the whole world our colors
A lovely aquamarine and sweet pink, or whatever you like
So let's go, fly, watch time go by
Maybe if we dye the world what we want, we can be whatever we want
Let me sing for you, this song of hope I heard
Dance your heart out, fall asleep in a rainbow field tonight
Dream your happy dreams, because I'm here for you
Sleep on my shoulder tonight, I'll never leave you
I may never get the love I want so badly
And you may never be brought back to the world you want
But I'll try to make you happy, please enjoy my voice
I practiced singing only for you, please, deal with me a bit longer
Dance a bit longer for me, it's all I ask
You're so sweet, I'll never let you go
We can create our own nostalgia, in this cold night
I'll wrap myself around you, and we can hug tighter
Please, stay warm tonight, and don't catch a cold.
I believe I can take care of you if you do though...
If you want to cry, go on and do it, if you stand up after it
You'll see a rainbow made with your tears in the sky, it looks pretty
Just like you, believe in yourself and walk on
I'll be right behind you
The moment you need my love, we'll become one, and speak on our dreams
It was nice to meet you, you're mine now, will you listen to me
My heart's thumping, I don't know if I can reach my dream
Do you believe in me, please, answer me quickly
I want to protect you, but my dream is not doing so well with you
But you're so important, I don't want to leave you, what should I do
You're right, I'll leave you, but I'll never stop loving you
If you want me, bite into a nostalgia star, and I'll come to you
Please, never forget me, and never be a bad boy!
One more time, sing with me, one more time, sleep on my shoulder
One more time, say I can do it, one more time, dance for me
One more time, before I go away, say I can do it, please
My childhood stars are reborn, and my wings spread out
Fly with me, we can both achieve our dreams
Our color spreads thicker into us, and we share some now
We munch our last stars before we succeed in our life
Your wings shine brighter, and so do mine
If you want to become like me, don't stop trying
Even if nobody supports you, sing on, and you'll be accepted
Even now, this is just a poem, written by a bored child
Will I ever become what I want to be, a singer
Ever become successful?
I don't know, but I dream I will
Every day, while I play, I sing, my friends say my voice is good
But that's not good enough, they also say kind lies, I must improve
So even strangers get attracted to my voice
Even random people can feel happy for me
Grab your light, while it lasts
Don't listen to the haters, and run on
I hope we reach our dream soon, while I'm still young
Well, I gotta go, need to learn my Korean so I can get to my goals
My parents say I'll never become a singer, but they're wrong
Because their eyes are fixated on their dreamed success that hasn't come true
They say I won't succeed, but I know better, I believe in myself
I'm my own beautiful, but I'll do what I need to win an audition someday
Eh, how many pounds do they weigh in that world? Maybe 115
I'll starve myself to maybe half that amount, so I look beautiful
Practice on, practice on, and learn on
I'll bite the sweet sugary star candy of success someday
And you'll all see that I can be somebody
Right? Is this a reasonable dream?
I don't even know anymore, but I know my rose-tinted lenses
Need some brightening, so excuse me for a moment
Remember this, though:
I will get what I want, even if I need to bleed for my dreams
I'm just that type of girl, no matter what they say
I'll exceed the expectations and shine, nobody can stop me but myself
All they ever say is, "You can't,' 'You won't.'
Just go away, before I push you out! I can, and I will
You always say, 'Back in my day, you'd be beaten for this.'
But your day is gone, this is a new generation, and I'll own it soon
Just you wait, I'll rock your past-generation senses with my new generation beauty and voice
And you'll forever regret saying I cannot and I will not
I own my own life, and I'll be strong and ignore you
But that's another day, maybe in a few years
But... for now... just shut up and support for me for once okay?
This is my dream, you should be proud, not snap at me
I'm tired of listening to your complaints, this is my life, okay?
Goodbye!
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