A/N- I swear every piece of Xie Lian fanart I see is just so beautiful- these artists are just true legends.

XIE LIAN WAS the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your entire life. He was just unnaturally beautiful. You found it hard to believe that he was even human- or that he had been human, before ascending into heaven. You wanted to confess your love to him, but you didn't know how in the world such an ugly person as you could confess your love to a literal statuesque man like him. So you just stayed quiet, loving him from afar.

There were many people that disliked Xie Lian for varying reasons, some for his looks, some for his skill in fighting, some for his noble origins (his parents had been the king and queen of Xianle). These people were relentless in bullying the poor man, trying their hardest to bring him down. To your knowledge, the bullies' words didn't affect him much. He always seemed cheerful even after he was made fun of due to his appearance, origins, and fighting skill.

You were up early one morning, and you chose to go for a walk by the rice paddies. It was a beautiful day, and there were lots of flower fields by the rice paddies which you could run in and have fun in. Perhaps you would even bring a few flowers back for your mother. She did love to have fresh flowers at the house.

When you reached one of the flower fields, you noticed Xie Lian wandering around in it. His hat with the veil was off, so you could truly appreciate his beauty. His long brown hair was loose and flying behind him in a gentle breeze, and a butterfly was hovering around him, landing on his hand, then flying up and sitting atop his nose, making him sneeze.

You laughed at how much fun he seemed to be having, and then you noticed his body tense up. You gasped and rushed away, throwing yourself down to the ground and hiding in the long grasses that were right behind this particular flower field. You barely breathed as Xie Lian looked around to see who he had heard laughing. He went towards the grasses that you were hiding in and knelt down to look if someone was lying in the ground. You crawled backwards until your back hit a tree, then stopped moving completely, not even breathing.

He sighed deeply and got back up onto his feet, tearing a few flowers off their stems and sticking them in the folds of his hanfu before heading deeper into the field. You followed him, back up on your feet as well.

There was a forest behind the flower fields, and you followed him deep into that forest. He knew his way around it, avoiding all the dangerous paths with predatory animals and all the thorn bushes and other unsafe plants and heading straight towards the most beautiful clearing you had ever seen.

There was a small stream running through the clearing, and a few young willow trees were growing by the side of the stream. Xie Lian took a few of the willow blooms and put them in his hair, and you once again were dazzled by how handsome he looked. You wanted to go to him and tell him this, but you were too afraid, so you just stayed back.

He leaned down over the river, watching silently as the water flowed unbroken over rocks and down to a waterfall. Suddenly, he looked up and stared directly at the bushes you were hiding in, making you quite frightened.

"I know you're watching me," he said. "If you've come to bully me, just don't. I already know what you're going to say, and I agree with everything you say. I am hideous, I do look like a girl, my parents did kill themselves because of me, and I'm not worthy of the title of prince. My fighting skills are terrible, I know this. The things you say are no worse than the things I tell myself."

Hearing those words made your heart break for the young man. He was smiling on the outside, and seeming happy, but in the inside, he was hurting. Poor Xie Lian...

You came out from your hiding spot and went over to where he was sitting by the river. He flinched when you reached out to pat his shoulder, thinking that you were raising his hands to hit him. His bullies had never hit him before, and he didn't want to get too angry, or he'd go crazy and kill you. You knew that he had some issues with his anger, and that when he got angry, he would go crazy, and start attacking people. He had actually killed and seriously hurt a few people because of this issue. You also knew that he had some depression issues as well, but you didn't know that he hated himself this much. You just thought that the depression was a passing thing that he had to deal with. Knowing that it was this bad made you want to hold him in your arms and shelter him from the world forever.

"Xie Lian, you're such a beautiful person," you said, gently stroking his back. "You're beautiful inside and out. You look like a mature young man, your parents didn't kill themselves because of you, and you are the most noble person I have ever met. If anyone deserves the title of prince, it's you. And I've also seen you fight before. You're a god, your highness. Your fighting skills are beyond any simple mortal's skills. As is your beauty and wisdom. Everything about you is better than that of a simple human like me."

Xie Lian seemed shaken up by these words. He didn't say anything, just stayed quiet and looked out at the river.

"I'm in love with you, your majesty," you said softly. "I-"

He threw his arms around you, held you so tightly it hurt, and hissed, "Don't say it!"

"Why don't you want me to say that I love you?" you asked.

He cried out and let go of you, jumping back up onto his feet and running out of the willow grove and back into the flower grove, where he fell to the ground and started to sob.

You knelt down by his side and began to stroke his back again. He looked up at you with his sad amber eyes and said, "Why do you love me so much? I'm just an unattractive fool who happened to become a god."

"How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?" you asked him. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, and I love you."

"Everyone who said they loved me is dead," Xie Lian said bitterly. "They left me. I find no reason to believe you won't do the same."

"I will never leave you, your majesty. I promise you."

He sat up and held onto your shoulders tightly, locking eyes with you.

"Your promises are foolish," he snapped. "I've learned long ago to not trust anyone. Now leave me alone with all your fluffy, 'I love yous' or I'll snap your neck."

"But Xie Lian-" you began.

He grabbed your neck and started to squeeze. You felt your breath get choked out of you, and you started to gasp, "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."

But he wouldn't let you go. He held onto your neck with as much force as he could, squeezing your throat until you were unconscious. Then he let you go and started to yell about how stupid you were, thinking that you could seduce a god like him. He was great! You were just a foolish human who didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

When he looked back down at your throat and saw the red marks his hands had made, and saw how peaceful you looked being unconscious, the weight of what he did rushed into his mind, and he started to laugh and cry at the same time, going completely crazy.

"Oh, wow, I'm insane," he sobbed as he chuckled. "I've just killed the only person who said nice things to me. Wow, I'm completely insane."

He broke down like this for about half an hour, and when he saw that you weren't waking up, he decided that he might as well kill himself for taking another person's life. It was the fitting price to be paid.

"Ruoye," he said to the bandages that wrapped around his arms. "Get the knife I have on the back part of my belt."

Ruoye obeyed, as it always did, wrapping itself around Xie Lian's back and pulling the knife out of his belt and laying it down in front of him.

Xie Lian took the knife and began to stab himself in the chest, again and again. Blood poured out, but he didn't die. This infuriated him, and he started to stab himself in other places, his neck, his forehead, his back. But he didn't die. He bled, but he didn't die. He was sick and tired of this damn life, but he couldn't leave it! The emperor of heaven was a terrible bastard for making him have to survive a life he hated. He should let him kill himself. He would just be reincarnated in the end anyway.

While Xie Lian was cursing his fortune, your consciousness returned. You opened your eyes and heard him sobbing and screaming, "Why can't I die? Damn it, heavenly emperor! I hate you, you bastard!"

You had never heard him curse, so you shot up to your feet to see him stabbing himself in the chest repeatedly. As he had said, he couldn't die, even when he stabbed himself in the heart. So he was just making himself go through more and more pain through stabbing himself. He couldn't die, but he could feel the pain of the wounds. And right now, judging by how loudly he was crying out, and how his entire body was shaking with the sobs, he was hurting quite a great deal.

You threw your arms around him immediately, shocked at how skinny and weak his body felt. Had he not been eating well? You thought that that must be the case, considering that one of the many insults the bullies threw around was about how he was overweight, even though he wasn't at all. You could feel his heart beating underneath his ruptured skin, still going strong even though he had stabbed it multiple times. You also felt the bones of his ribs pushing against his chest, and you were terrified by this. He must have been starving himself for quite a long time to be like this. That was wholly unhealthy.

"It's going to be okay," you said, even though you knew those words didn't mean much to him at this point. "You're so beautiful, Xie Lian. You're unnaturally beautiful."

He laid his head on your shoulder and sobbed and sobbed. You thought he would never stop. He seemed to have so many tears to cry that he would cry forever.

"My beautiful Xie Lian. My beautiful prince," you murmured as you held him close to you. "Please, don't hurt yourself anymore."

He dropped the knife to the ground, and you gave him a smile, although at this point, you were crying as well.

"You love me this much?" he asked. "Enough to hold me for eternity?"

"Yes, my love," you said. "I love you enough to hold you even when I'm being ambushed from all sides. Because I know you're suffering, and someone as precious as you doesn't deserve this pain."

"I love you too..." he said quietly, then said it louder, "I love you. You're beautiful, inside and out."

You smiled, and then put your lips to his for a kiss.

Xie Lian's unnatural beauty was yours. This was your dream, and it was fulfilled. You could die happily now.

A/N- This chapter was terrible- I had to pause in writing it for like an hour and at that point the motivation was just gone... sorry about that. I hope you'll enjoy the future chapters though... I'll try to write better ones next time.