A/N- The way I've only written one other oneshot for Sizhui is disrespectful. He's such a beautiful shy boy, one of the beautiful shy boy trio (Wen Ning, Sizhui, and Huaisang) that I love so much. I've written so much for Ning and Huaisang but not Sizhui, and it's so unfair to the poor baby.

So as my 100th chapter celebration I'll write a Sizhui oneshot for you guys and try to make it longer than the average chapter. I hope you enjoy this oneshot, if it's bad I apologize in advance, I'm not good at writing longer parts to stories.

Lord, I can't believe I've gotten to 100 chapters. I remember when I first published this book not expecting much and receiving so much love! I love each and every person that reads this book, I love the silent readers and the ones that talk too! Love you all endlessly! ❤️❤️❤️

-Niki (June)

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LAN SIZHUI WAS a perfect husband. And you, his wife, wanted him to know it.

Every day you spent together with him was a day you spent in nirvana, and a day you spent without him plunged you into hell. His smile made you smile, his tears made you cry. He was perfect.

But he thought he was nothing.

Sizhui had low self-esteem his entire life, and now that he married you, he felt far worse. Every day he didn't make you happy was a day he felt like he was a failure. He couldn't bear seeing anyone sad when he could've made them happy. It made him feel so pathetic, so very pathetic.

This particular day, he was having a very hard time. Your son, which you had inappropriately named Lan Qingfeng*, was getting into physical altercations with his classmates, and since you were busy with clan duties, Sizhui had to march into the room where his son was taking his classes and apologize to the other childrens' parents in front of the class and the teacher. The words the other parents said about him and you hurt him to hear, and he was struggling not to burst into tears in front of everyone in his son's class.

*Qingfeng means 'quiet wind.' The irony of your son being named this is that he is not quiet at all and he is loud and obnoxious.

Even after he brought Qingfeng home from school, the words the other parents said were still revolving around in his head, unable to leave. He got so desperate that he ended up downing three bottles of Emperor's Smile to dull the pain, only to turn himself into a drooling lunatic who could barely form proper sentences. He waddled around your cottage like a penguin, crashing into walls occasionally,  before collapsing on a chair in the kitchen and falling asleep.

Needless to say, when you got home and saw your husband asleep in the kitchen, you were concerned, but you were a levelheaded woman, so you did what any levelheaded woman would do and slapped your husband straight across the face to wake him up. Surprisingly, that worked, and his eyes snapped open right after the impact of your callused hand on his cheek.

When Sizhui's eyes opened and he saw his wife raising her hand to possibly hit him again, he got frightened and started to cry. If he was in his right mind, he would've known that you would never hurt him purposefully, but he was drunk badly, so he could no longer distinguish between reality and fantasy.

When you saw him crying, you instantly regretted hitting him. You knew he was sensitive, and even more so when he was drunk, so being hit made him frightened. It reminded him of the many times he had been beaten by Quiren as a child for not obeying the rules, even though he had always been a good child, so he had no idea how his great-uncle thought he had disobeyed the rules. The whippings he received from his uncle at such a young age scarred him for life, and now any time someone raised their hand to hit him or he saw someone being beaten, it made him anxious, his heart beating faster and his body trembling.

Being the kind woman you were, you promised Sizhui when you had married him that you would never hurt him in any way purposefully. But that smack you had given him had purpose behind it, the purpose being to wake him up. Not an evil purpose by any means, but you had still broken your promise. You felt terrible, and seeing your husband cry made you start crying as well.

Sizhui's senses were dulled by the copious amount of alcohol he had imbibed, but when he felt something wet press against his cheek, he looked up with his misted eyes to see you practically collapsing on top of him. Although alcohol made a Lan pretty much comatose, Sizhui hadn't been born a Lan, so he still had control over himself in his drunk state, albeit not much. When he saw the woman he loved hurt like this, something primal awakened in him, and he threw his arms around you, hiding you in the folds of his voluminous hanfu and letting you rest his head on his chest.

"I'm sorry," he sniffed, feeling guilty that his sadness made you feel like this. He always hated hurting people.

"It's... not you," you choked out, but you knew that Sizhui thought you were lying. To be fair, he wouldn't be wrong to think that. His tears had made you cry, but it wasn't something he should be apologizing for by any means. It was just natural to be hurt by the tears of one that you loved.

"I'm sorry!" Sizhui repeated again, this time wailing in his slurred voice. "I ruin everything! I'm such a terrible husband, I-"

You silenced him by pressing your lips to his, making him tilt his head back against the wall. As he leaned back, you moved onto his lap and kissed him with greater urgency, until you could taste the flavors of his lips like a meal. When your tongue moved into his mouth, you tasted the sweet flavor of alcohol, and immediately pulled your tongue out. You hated alcohol, you always had. The taste of it repulsed you, just seeing it made you angry. Tasting it on your beloved's breath made you incensed. But you held your anger back when you saw the tears in Sizhui's eyes, a silent reminder of how you had hurt him.

"Why did you drink?" you asked after thinking hard of the way to approach your husband about his sudden drunkenness. He never drank, so something must have gone wrong.

Sizhui sniffled, opened his mouth to speak, then started to cry again. As you held him in your arms to comfort him, he ranted about what had happened in his day through tears and with a horribly slurred voice.

"Qingfeng- his teacher called me- called me to the- the- school. Our son, h-he- they said terrible things about us- he hurt someone- a-and I couldn't even speak- said I was nothing more than a criminal- hurt so much- you're nothing more than an adornment- at Qingfeng's school, they said this- hurt so much I went home to drink..."

After you decoded your husband's mixed up words, you felt nothing but rage at the people that hurt him by saying such harsh things. Didn't they know your husband was sensitive to anything said about him? Who could hurt someone with such a gentle heart? Those bastards!

"I'll kill them!" you snarled, leaping up to your feet with the rage of a woman that had been wronged in your eyes. "Those fucking bastards! Who do they think they are, insulting us and thinking they can get away with it?!"

"Y-Y/N..."

Hearing Sizhui say your name so weakly, with a voice that had been scarred by so many tears, threatened your heart that it would break. You couldn't stand seeing the man you loved in so much turmoil. He was such a gentle person, so kind and beautiful inside and out. God, you loved him so much.

"Y/N... don't go... don't go hurt anyone. Stay... stay here."

Cupping Sizhui's cheeks in your hands, you gave him a kiss on both cheeks before nuzzling the small, tear-streaked dumplings that he called cheeks. He laughed a tear-filled laugh before falling back asleep, dreaming tear-filled dreams of tear-filled worlds. His body was drowning in tears, consumed by them. And you needed to help him heal.

When you left your family's cottage, it was late at night by even non-Lan standards, and the world was fast asleep. Guided by the brightness of the stars in the sky and the gentle moonlight, you made your way over to the houses where the parents who had insulted your family resided. There were a total of five families you were planning to have a little fun with, and you needed to move quickly lest you be spotted by the guards that kept curfew. You had never been the most obedient of the disciples your age, and if you were caught by a guard, they wouldn't waste time disciplining you so harshly that you wouldn't be able to walk for a week. And that was definitely not what you wanted.

The first family's cottage was a lovely small one, in the corner of one of the intersection points of two walls that made up the protective border around the residential area of the Cloud Recesses. Flowers were blooming on trellises set up on the walls, and a small pool of water filled with koi fish sparkled in the starlight. But you weren't there to admire the trappings of this home, although any other time you gladly would have. No. Today, you were there to teach this family a lesson.

You put both your hands into the thick cloth bag you were carrying. You looked like the female version of Santa Claus, coming on the night to give presents. Except these presents weren't anything that good kids would be getting any time soon.

For inside that bag was many pounds of ox tongues and blood. Ox blood soup was a dish eaten in neighboring Korea, and some poor people made a living selling ox parts near to the border of North Korea. You had purchased these disgusting foodstuffs earlier on a trip near the border, and you had left them in your cellar gathering dust. Now you finally knew how to use them, and it definitely wasn't for their intended purpose of consuming as a lunch. No, you were planning on putting the tongues and blood into the beds of those that had insulted your family, along with a handwritten note that says, "Animals that speak insults will get their tongues cut out."

This first house was easy to accomplish the task in. An open window next to the door revealed the couple peacefully sleeping together in bed, and since the window was large, it was easy to pour the intestines and blood out onto the sheets and pin the note onto the window. You closed the window before you left too, so that the scent of the blood and tongue wouldn't go away with the gentle breeze.

The next cottage was more challenging. It was closer to the little nooks in the walls where the guards patrolled to catch anyone not following their curfew, and the cottage was much larger. The couple that lived in this house had to be high up in the hierarchy of the Lan clan. From what you could see, their home was decorated with a more minimalist feel benefitting a Taoist monk or someone that meditated often. There were no windows in the front of the cottage, so you had to go to the back of the house and deposit the blood and tongue onto their sheets. Thankfully, their bedroom had a window. You didn't want to have to break in unless it was absolutely necessary.

After that house, which you had confirmed held a more pious member of the Lan clan and his family after seeing Buddha statues and a shrine to pray at in their bedroom, you headed to your third target. This one was far away from the one you had just visited, right in the center of the residential area of Cloud Recesses. It was also surrounded by many other houses, which wasn't ideal, but members of the Lan clan were heavy sleepers, so you doubted that you'd wake anyone up with your sneaking around.

You also knew the couple that lived in this home, although not personally. The wife in this couple was well known among all the women of Cloud Recesses to be a huge gossip. She would tell even the most serious secrets of others out, so, as a result, this woman was respected by no one. She'd probably been harassed in similar ways to this before. Cloud Recess' women behaved ruthlessly to people they didn't like.

This woman's husband was an older man who had always wanted to be higher up in the hierarchy of Cloud Recesses. The ways he went about achieving this goal were ineffective, though. He tried to bribe those close to the clan leader to let him join their inner circle, but those men refused. They were merciful towards the husband by not telling Lan Quiren, who was still clan leader at the time, about this blatant breaking of the rules. Instead of quitting there and facing no punishment, the man decided to do the unthinkable and try and bribe Quiren himself!

When he received the bribe, it was said (and widely believed) that Quiren laughed for so long he almost underwent qi devastation, then in response sent disciplinary officers to the man's home, instructing said officers to beat the man until he fainted in front of his pregnant wife. Needless to say, that man never tried bribing anyone again, and he fell into depression after not reaching the rank he wished to be at. This man did nothing but annoy everyone because of that now. And his wife, who was terribly disappointed in her husband, turned to gossiping about everyone and their family's flaws to forget her and het family's own flaws.

It was surely a tragic story for that family, but you felt nothing but rage towards them for hurting them. Focused on vengeance you had no room for pity. This family was easy to attack too, they left all their windows open and doors unlocked. It was as if they were asking to be injured. But, thinking about it, they both probably wanted to die after living such miserable lives. If you were a nicer person, you would have felt bad putting the tongue and blood in their beds. But you weren't a nicer person, so you smiled as you leaned over their bed and poured the organs and blood over them.

"Rest well and dream of bribery,"  you couldn't resist saying as you left that house. Such a pathetic couple.

The last two houses were right next to each other, and the two families were friends. Both of them decorated their homes the same way too, with flashy flowers and drawings of them and their family all over the place. They really were vain. However, it turned out that they weren't idiots. They had all their windows closed and latched shut from the inside, and their doors were the same. This made it exceedingly hard for you to make your lovely delivery to them, as you couldn't pour it onto them from anywhere. You ended up having to pick the lock of the door with your sword tip, but luckily you used a jousting foil in combat, so the weapon was thin already.

After forcing the door open with the tip of your foil, you snuck into the couples' bedrooms and poured the remainder of your blood and tongue on their sheets. Once that was accomplished, you returned home and washed up before falling asleep next to your husband peacefully, dreaming of oxen traveling on fields.

It was said that no one ever messed with the family of Lan Sizhui ever again, always fearing the 'ox punishment,' that would occur if they did harass you or your family. You also gained somewhat of a reputation around Cloud Recesses for being a relentless bitch who never accepted any insults, but you were fine with that. As long as you defended your family and your husband's gentle heart, you were willing to take any insults aimed at you.

After all, you were a relentless bitch, and you did have more ox tongues and blood to teach anyone who didn't believe in that fact a lesson.

A/N- This is the longest chapter I've ever written on Wattpad. Well, I suppose it would be the longest oneshot I've written, but I'm not picky about titles. This is truly the longest oneshot I've written ever though. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this oneshot from beginning to end and that it didn't get boring. If it got boring, I guess that's normal for long stuff, but I hope you still enjoyed it and powered through the boring parts.

This oneshot is for everyone who reads this book. Whether you're a silent reader, or you vote and comment, I appreciate you and I love you beyond words (but votes and comments would still be cool, they help to motivate me a lot!) I hope you enjoyed this mega oneshot, and while I know there wasn't a lot of Sizhui in here I hope it was to your liking. I'll try to write more oneshots for Sizhui, he's a darling and he deserves it. He is one of my favorite characters after all, it would be rude to not write that much for him.

3,044 words. Wow. I'm exhausted out of my mind now. I hope you guys liked reading this. I'm going to go eat something now lol. Love you guys to the end of this galaxy and back.

Love,
Niki (June) ❤️❤️