𝕀 shot upright, waking up with a jolt. Cersei stirred next to me, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What's wrong, love?", she asked sleepily when she saw my face. I shook my head slowly, brushing my hair off my shoulder. "Nothing, I... it was just a dream." Cersei sat up, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You dreams are not to be underestimated. You once made your wolf run all the way to the castle through one. So tell me what happened in this dream." "Really, it's nothing. It's probably just the stress I've been under, worrying about my family... I dreamed about a wolf dying. He was eating with his pack, and then something came and attacked him. Rhaenys is right here, though, unharmed - so like I said, it was just a dream." "Alright." Cersei kissed my cheek and got up from the bed, opening the wardrobe to select a gown. She tossed me one, too, and although her dresses were always slightly too long on me, I loved wearing them. It made me feel like I was hers, like we were truly wives who lived together and shared a life. "Let's go", Cersei said after we had both gotten dressed and done each other's hair (we didn't exactly want handmaidens attending to us when we had spent the night together), "I'm already late for the council meeting." I kissed her once more before we exited the room and went our seperate ways. While contemplating what to do with my morning, I walked through the gardens, the sun warming my face as I took in the smell of the summer flowers. They wouldn't be blooming for much longer. Winter was coming, after all, and I hoped it wouldn't be as harsh as Father always made it out to be. I had just decided to go retrieve my books from my room to study outside when I ran into Sansa and Tyrion, followed with some distance by Shae, the girl I had met once before during the Battle of Blackwater. It was scary how little Sansa and I saw of each other's lives these days - although perhaps it was better if she didn't see too much of mine, all things considered. "Lady Vallery", Tyrion said, his tone strangely grave. "How are you feeling?" "Fine, I suppose", I said, confused at his serious mood. His face changed, and it was only then that I saw that my sister, too, was staring sadly ahead, eyes slightly reddened. "What's happened?", I asked, concern filling my voice. Tyrion took a deep breath. "That is not for me to tell you", he said and continued walking. I looked at Sansa, hoping to find an answer in her face, but she showed no sign that she had even understood.

When I returned to my chambers to finally get the books I had been meaning to, I found Cersei already waiting for me. "Well, that was a short meeting", I said and closed the door. "You wouldn't happen to know what's going on with your brother? He and my sister were looking terribly sad, but they wouldn't tell me why." Cersei looked up at me, a small line of tears glistening in her eyes. "Vallery", she began quietly, "I'm so sorry." "For what?", I asked, sitting down beside her and searching her eyes, which yielded more answer than Sansa's. "Your family... I... There was a wedding, at the Twins", she said. "Did Robb finally marry the Frey girl? What happened, is she infertile or something? What's the big deal?" Cersei swallowed hard. "No, Robb did not marry. Well, he did, but not last night, which is actually what caused the problem. He married someone else, a great offense to old Walder, and to make up for it, his uncle Edmure married a Frey girl of the Lord's choosing." She paused again, and I was growing impatient with anxiety. "Cersei, what happened at the Twins?" She looked into my eyes. "They're dead", she said. "Your brother, your mother, all their bannermen... slaughtered at a wedding, guests under their killer's roof." The room began to spin around me. When my father had died, I had been able to tell myself it was okay, because I still had my mother, my brother... but now, they were all gone. All the elder Starks, dead. Passed. Disappeared. Wiped out. A sob broke from me, and Cersei pulled me close, holding me against her body and stroking my shoulder. I clung to her, the one piece of stability left in my life. Still crying, some rational part of me realized that I was the head of House Stark now, that I had to protect my remaining siblings, keep the pack together. All the responsibilities of my dead came crashing down upon me together with the grief, the rage, the despair. When I eventually had no tears left to cry and straightened, Cersei said softly: "My father... he orchestrated this. Walder Frey and Roose Bolton commited the act, but it was his command." The information didn't even shock me anymore. "Why does he always have to ruin everything", I said tonelessly. "I agree", Cersei replied quietly. "He does. I used to admire him, I wanted nothing more than to be like him, but he's horrible. He breaks all the things that matter most to me - he breaks you." The suppressed anger in her voice was hard to miss.

Speaking of people that angered Cersei, the door opened and Tyrion entered, accompanied by two Lannister soldiers. Soldiers, not guards. What was going on? Tyrion looked visibly surprised to see Cersei with me, but spoke anyways: "These two said they had some business with you. As your brother-in-law, I asked to join." Apparently he, too, found it suspicious that two armed soldiers came to see me in the middle of the day. As much as I mistrusted him, I was grateful for his presence in that regard. "But I see my sister is already here. Why is that, pray tell?" He went to my dresser and uninvitedly poured himself a glass of wine. "I just told her... the news", Cersei said, shifting uncomfortably. "I see", Tyrion said, his voice serious again in an instant. "My condolences, Lady Stark." The title hit me like a fist to the gut. I was the Lady Stark now, the eldest of my House, the representative of the Starks to the rest of the world. Tywin's words came back to me: We'll get rid of the older one somehow soon enough, once she's no more use as a hostage. With the death of my brother and mother, I had just lost my value as a captive. But hadn't I at the same time become so much more important, the key to the North? The realization bloomed in me at the same time as the soldiers started toward me. I didn't get up, didn't say anything, just shuffled closer to Cersei, beseeching her protection, hoping she would somehow get me out of this situation. "What do you think you're doing?", she asked in that calm yet intimidating voice of hers. "Your father's orders", one of the soldiers said curtly while pulling out a golden dagger embellished with red rubies - practically flaunting the name Lannister all over its polished surface - "the girl needs to die." "She'll do no such thing", Cersei responded, getting up to stand between us. "I will not see her harmed." "But Lord Tywin said-" "I say", she roared, the lioness of Casterly Rock in all her might, ablaze with wildfire. "Leave, throw away your weapons and tell my father he can go fuck himself. If the mighty Tywin wants her dead, he can at least have the bloody decency to come and try himself." The soldiers fled from the room, nearly falling over their own feet. 

Tyrion whistled through his teeth. "You put on quite a show, sister. Why, though? What's she to you? Meaning no offense, my lady", he raised a hand to me in apology and regarded Cersei critically while drinking from his cup. "But why not let them kill her? I am married to Sansa, with Vallery dead, our family would have had the North in our pocket. I have never known you to turn down an opportunity like that. So why did you?" Cersei didn't answer, she only shifted her weight on her feet as she stared uncertainly at the ground, probably wishing she were anywhere but here right about now. "Might I take a wild guess?", Tyrion asked, making a grand gesture with his arm. Cersei looked up at him, shoulders heaving anxiously, and he pointed at her and said: "You love her." Our faces were sufficient answer. An uncomfortable silence settled over the room for a few moments, with only Tyrion looking content in having made the right assumption. "Please", I finally said. "For any love you bear my sister, do not tell anyone about Cersei and me." Tyrion let himself sink into a chair. "Regardless of your sister, I understand. Affections such as yours are dangerous in this world, Renly was a living example of that... except he's not living anymore, is he?" He turned to Cersei. "Although I don't particularly like you, dear sister, I sympathize with you - I have a tender spot in my heart for those challenged by their natural afflictions." I saw Cersei grind her teeth at the slight of being compared to her own naturally inconvienced brother. "And I think love always deserves a chance." His slightly melancholic tone at this sentence reminded me of the story I had heard about the girl he had loved and married long ago, who had been merely a trap set up by his father and brother. "So I promise that I will try to protect you." He hopped down from the chair and looked at us both in turn, emptying his wine and setting down the cup. "Good luck, you two", he said solemnly. "I hope the risk you're taking will not turn out to be for naught." And with that, he left. My previously negative image of him was considerably shaken. I had thought him to be terrible, a vicious drunk who didn't deserve the Lannister name, but he had just promised to keep our secret despite what it might cost him if someone found out. Could he really be that bad?

I was with Cersei in her chambers a few days later, getting dressed after we had used the free afternoon. "Jaime is back, you know", she said as I lay beside her, my head on her shoulder. Her hand was stroking my hair lazily. "Jaime?" I looked up at her. "Did he escape after what happened at the Twins?" I could not call it for what it was, not yet. "No. Your mother let him go a while before that, actually." "And? How was it, meeting him again?", I asked, somewhat nervous about her reply. Cersei practically hadn't seen her previous lover since our relationship commenced - he had left for battle soon after I arrived at King's Landing. A part of me tried to like him, given that my love had loved him once, but the bigger, overwhelming part of me felt only contempt at exactly the fact that he had had her before me. Cersei shrugged. "Strange. I believe he expected me to return to him, even though I made it clear even before he left that it was over between us." "Does he know why?" She shifted her head to get a better look at me, smirking. "Don't get overconfident, dear, you're not the reason we ended things. So no, he doesn't know about us... officially. I suppose the rumors Father mentioned could have reached him, though - I'm not sure how much prisoners get to hear of such news." I nodded, settling my head back into the crook of her neck. "He'll hear somewhere in time, by the looks of it. Let's hope he doesn't believe it." "I think he has greater concerns at the moment than the talk of peasants", Cersei agreed. "What do you mean?", I asked her. "He lost a hand", she explained. "On his way home, he managed to get himself captured again. But he overestimated the power his name commands, got cocky, and had his sword hand chopped off for it." "You don't sound particularly touched", I remarked. "Father always called him the stupidest Lannister", she said nonchalantly. "It's like him to get hurt over some prideful trifle like this." Not unlike you either, I thought, but swallowed it down. There was nothing easier in the world than ignoring these corrupt sides of Cersei when it meant getting to see all the good parts, all the love and care and happiness. If I could see her smile every morning, hear her tell me about each new delight she found, be by her side when she slept so peacefully... I could live with a little arrogance. "I should go", I said. "It's getting late. My sister will be missing me at dinner by now." Cersei pulled me in by the waist and kissed me. "Good night, love. I'll see you tomorrow." "First thing in the morning", I promised. "We have a sept to check out for Joffrey's wedding, after all." I had had quite enough of weddings for now, but there had to be one good one every once in a while. Perhaps this one, with all its royal guards and expenses, wouldn't take some terrible turn. Gods knew I needed a break. At least this time, none of my family would be directly involved - unless I counted Joffrey as my inofficial stepson.

Once I was out in the hall, I heard footsteps. Turning the corner, I saw none other than Jaime. Rage filled me out of nowhere, at the man who thought that after all this time, he still had a claim to Cersei, my Cersei, still thought she loved him and expected things to be as they were before, blatantly ignoring that she had outright told him there was nothing between them anymore. Perhaps I would have felt the same if she were to break up with me, perhaps I would try to gain back her love (most certainly I would), but the smug implicitness with which he went about it... Our eyes met, and when I saw the look in his as he recognized me, I knew that he knew. Wasn't just aware of the rumors, but knew. In that moment, I decided to go into full offense, because I was certain he wouldn't offer the same sympathies as his little brother. I would intimidate him before he could think to threaten me. Gathering all the pretense and domineering I had learned from Cersei, I faced him. "Ser Jaime", I said, sweet poison dripping in my voice. "I'm glad to see you safely back at King's Landing. Well, more or less safe", I added, glancing at the stump where his hand should be. "Lady Vallery", he remarked with equal sneering wariness. "I'm surprised to see you're still here. I had assumed you would have fled like your sister, since nobody tried to ransom you for me." I smiled. "The queen mother considered me of more use to her here." I pronounced the word 'use' delicately, like Jaime could twist and turn it however he wanted. "I see. You speak of the queen mother as if you know her well. How do you feel about her?" "Oh, I think highly of her, very highly in fact." I smirked, looking him in the eye to see his reaction to what I was about to say next, slightly more quiet in case anybody passed by. "The things that woman can do with her tongue... remarkable. Though I'm sure you would know." He stared back at me, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "I've heard about you. You're my sister's little whore." "See, that's where you're mistaken. Your sister doesn't pay me. I didn't learn to please anyone, to make love to anyone... In fact, Cersei is the first I've ever had. Can you believe it? The first person I've fucked is the queen." "You and I have that in common." "Yes, though it seems you had an advantage in that, didn't you? Being so close to her, while I was up in the North... Hardly seems fair." "Is this a competition to you?", he asked, all condescending disbelief. I only chuckled. "Let's see: we are both in love with the same woman, unwilling to let the other have her. I'd say yes, this is a competition. Although the question would arise if it's even still a choice for Cersei." "What do you mean?", he growled, his haughtiness breaking for a second. "You were gone for a long time, Ser Jaime, and I was here, by her side." "Because your family held me captive! And I was here long before you, before you were even born", he spat. "But I'm here now. And you were not." I turned on my heel and left him standing in the hallway.

And so all of a sudden, both of Cersei's brothers knew about us. One had promised to keep our secret, but what would the other do?