I seriously can't believe that it's been two whole years since I published this book on Wattpad😂💔. My updates have been terribly slow but school is the issue.

Hopefully, after my exams I'll be able to wrap up this book this year or early next year then move on to the next project I have in store for you guys✨.

We have a surprise POV🌚.

This chapter is dedicated to jayda_1o1❤️. You all should do well to check out her recent work 'CROWN'.

Enjoy the chapter ❤️

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"Or was I lying to myself
Just to make it feel so real?..." Moonlight - Ali Gatie
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Tony's POV
I really didn't mean to and I know I shouldn't have acted the way I did but when she called that name, the little self-control I was desperately clinging onto just snapped, giving way to feelings of extreme anger and hurt.

It was like she had grabbed a burning lance and pierced it right through my heart causing me to react in ways I never thought possible.

And now, I feel so ashamed. So disappointed in myself because it isn't really her fault.

I had lied, blatantly lied about everything concerning that name. The origin and the whole bullshit about my mom being Igbo, it is all false. None of it tells even a little about the true story behind the name.

Nkem.

These four letters brought together to form that name means the whole world to me. The importance this name carries is more than my life itself.

It is that sacred to me.

And out of all the times, she could have used that name, why did it have to be then? When I was at the verge of loosing my sanity.

I don't blame her because she doesn't know. She doesn't know the value of the name and that's why I regret loosing my shit like that.

Coupled with the fact that it is Davina I blew up on, my Aphie.

I really shouldn't have.

She probably hates me now and it hurts like hell coming to this conclusion. As much as it kills me to admit it, it is for the best.

It has to be.

Because if it is not, I don't know what I will do to myself for being such a wimp, for not determinedly going after what I want. Scratch that, need.

My stupid self fell for her, the minute I set eyes on her and as cliche as it sounds, it is true. I have fallen so hard that it hurts to breathe. But what hurts even more is the growing signs that the feeling isn't mutual.

The compromising position I had caught her and Nasir in during our hangout in Kiki's house, sealed the deal. That instance and so many more convinces me on this horrifying fact. The realization that her feelings are for Nasir and not me, pushes me over the edge leading me to distance myself from her.

In my mind, I had reasoned that maybe if I push her away, the feelings I have for her will dwindle and die but if anything, my need for her only grows.

"Dude, you have been fingering that game pad for ten fucking minutes."

Phoenix's colourful language has long seized to amaze me. Dude couldn't make a coherent sentence without adding a curse word or two.

I drop the pad beside me as I turn to stare at his sprawled out figure on the couch in his game room. He hadn't shown up at school today so his house was the only place I could come to after I had left school in such a hurry.

"Keep your eyes to yourself, Anthony." He says, eyes fixated on his phone screen,"Either that or you say what the fuck is up with you."

Letting out a sigh, I stand up from the bean bag chair I had found comfort in to go over to the couch opposite where he lays. A game of should I or shouldn't I ensues in my mind because I do not know whether or not I can tell him.

Him and Nasir are way closer than my relationship with either of them. That sometimes, it feels as though I am the third wheel in this friendship.

"Is Nasir genuinely interested in her?" The words tumble out of my mouth before I can think of more ways to discourage myself. This makes Phoenix pause what he is doing on his phone as he turns to look at me.

Seeing this as a sign to continue, I do,"I really like this girl. I've tried showing it too but . . . she doesn't seem to be reading the signs."

"Davina." He says, assuming a seating posture, to which I nod even though it is not a question,"Why didn't you just straight up tell her?"

"How can I be open about my intentions when she's giving signals to another guy? My good friend for that matter." I let out in one breath.

"Anthony, there's only one thing I can say to you." He tells me after awhile in his usual blank, straightforward tone,"If she went for Nasir even after seeing the signs you sent her way, then leave the chick be. It's her fucking loss, not yours."

With that, he returns his attention to his phone, leaving me to ponder on his words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning off the ignition, I take my things and make my way into the house. It is already 7pm. Four hours since the school's official closing time and six hours since I stormed out of the school premises.

After the encounter I had had with them, I just couldn't continue with learning for the day, so I left. But not before obtaining a pass from the school on 'health' grounds.

Now, after over 10 missed calls from both my parents, I am finally home. Dad isn't in the country at the moment so for my mum to have informed him, that means she is worried sick. Which implies that I have a lot of explaining to do.

No sooner do I step my foot into the house when her crystal clear voice resonates throughout the building before her petite, chubby figure comes into view,"Akinwale Taiwo Anthony Ojelade, care to explain where you are coming from?"

Letting out a little groan, I quickly assume a pouty face as I advance towards where she stands at the kitchen door. Donning her favorite freesize tie-dye shirt and a simple wrapper wrapped firmly around her waist, she resembles a typical African mother. Even the cooking spoon she holds in her hand and the stance she is in further buttresses the fact.

I take a moment to observe how her beautiful dark skin glistens under the lights emanating from the chandelier. With how youthful she looks, save for telltale grey hairs, one will not be able to tell that she is in her early fifties.

"I am waiting for your answer, Wale." She tells me, hands reaching up to adjust the messy bun her long, natural hair is pulled into.

"Maami," I drawl, knowing how much she loves when I call her this way,"I'm hungry."

"Ti mo ba fi sibi yii lu ọ, iwọ yoo bẹrẹ si sọrọ." Her chiding tone is coupled with invisible lasers shooting out of her eyes in my direction.
[Translation: If I slap you with this spoon, you'll start talking.]

I reach out and try to hug her but the nasty side eye she gives me has me pausing because now, I know she means business. My mother never refuses a hug.

"I'm coming back from a friend's place." I finally say to her.

"And this friend of yours is nameless." She retorts as she makes her way back into the kitchen with me following suit.

Opening the fridge, I get out a bottle of water and after gulping down a reasonable amount of its content, I reply,"Mum, you don't have to be so sarcastic."

She does not answer me until she has stirred the soup in the pot and turned off the gas cooker,"I don't think you realize how serious this is."

"Let me ask you," Mum continues,"What is the agreement we reached in this house concerning how you go out?"

I shift the weight of my body from one foot to another as I gaze at her unhappy face. Knowing her question is a rhetorical one, only increases the guilt I feel from not informing them on my whereabouts.

It hadn't crossed my mind for one minute about the repercussions my actions will have at the home front. They never stop me from leaving the house, all they ask for is to know where I am headed.

"So, Akinwale," She calls my name, utters it as though she is having a feel of the name for the first time,"You left school before three pm for health reasons as per what your school told me. But I know that you lied to them, seeing how healthy you look."

"Mum — " I start to speak but is immediately cut off by the hand she holds up.

Readjusting the wrapper tied firmly around her waist, she makes her way over to one of the chairs in the kitchen and sits down,"You of all people should have known how this would make me feel, why this is more serious than it should have ever been in the first place."

Although her voice is painfully calm, her facial expressions tells a thousand and one stories. And she is right, I really should have thought this through. All of this could have been prevented by just a phone call.

I do not know when I immediately kneel down before her and wrap my arms around her waist in an embrace. My head finds a resting position on her thighs as I begin to apologise,"Maami, I'm sorry. I am so sorry, I didn't reason it like this."

Noticing how quiet she has become, I lift my head only to see how red her eyes has gotten. She refuses to look at me, only staring straight ahead as though reliving a terrible moment. And for a fact, I know she is.

Unwrapping my arms from around her waist, I take her hand and lightly caress it. No words leave my mouth because I don't even know what to say to make her feel better. My heart aches relentlessly within me as I recall distant memories too and against my will, drops of tears fall from my eyes.

My mother and I remain in that position; me kneeling before her and her staring straight ahead, trying to reel herself in.

"Don't do this again, Wale." My mum tells me just as my legs are starting to get numb,"Once was more than enough."

The message is loud and clear, she needn't say more. It was a foolish mistake. I would never had done this in a million years but I wasn't thinking straight this afternoon.

Ever since that day, I have never left this house without informing either my mum or dad but due to my inability to control my emotions, I have broken the number one rule in my family.

"I am sorry, Mum." I sincerely say to her,"This will never repeat itself again."

Her lips stretch into a small smile as she detaches my hand from hers. She reaches out and gently wipes away my tears whilst maintaining steady eye contact with me.

"It's okay." She whispers,"Stand up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now in the comfort of my bedroom, I take out my phone and go online.

I have to apologise. I have come to realize that there was no need to behave in the manner I did. Maybe I have not been clear with my intentions, just maybe.

Upon going online, I don't know what I am expecting. But what I see is definitely not it. My fingers tap on the school's official group chat, comprising of all the sets of course. What draws my attention is the last message that was sent there.

My heart freezes. A video?

I click on the video, my heart in my throat. My eyes watch in pure horror as I charged towards Davina, looking like an absolute crazed version of myself, screaming things at the top of my voice.

The fact that my voice reverberated throughout the court makes the situation even ten times worse. I watch on as I moved so close to her making her lose her balance.

My insides churn at the expression on her face. She looked at me like she didn't know who I was, like I was some maniac let out of the psychiatric hospital.

But of course, Nasir caught her just in time and then stood between us, shielding her from me in the process. Now, I can't hear the words exchanged between us because of how deathly low our voices were, coupled with the growing murmurs from the crowd of onlookers.

Disappoinment courses through my veins, leaving me utterly irritated and displeased at my conduct. Even more, the school officials may have already seen the video and that will lead to my parents being summoned.

Anthony, what have you gotten yourself into?

Ignoring the painful clench in my heart, I read the other things that were said.

Sasha Sodiq, the assistant head girl, wants me in her dm. This can't be good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The very next day, which is a Thursday has a sort of mocking uplifting atmosphere. As though the environs want to mock my sad state. It is an all too perfect morning, breezy with the perfect heat intensity from the sun.

My legs carry me begrudgingly towards the seniors block as I try my hardest to maintain a neutral expression against the rude, nasty stares I receive from every angle.

Rounding the corner leading up to the SS2 floor, I am confused to see the unusual gathering of my mates. Not that they don't have it in them to be so unruly but this one is different.

People have their phones out, some are jeering, others stand quietly watching whatever is going on at the middle of the crowd, unfold.

I push my way through the growing body of students and burst out into the centre of the inferno.

"Aphie."

The name, leaves my mouth before I can properly register what is going on. But of course, she cannot hear me. The noise is overwhelming and moreover, the confusion of the whole situation has me frozen to the spot.

"You can't talk now abi?"

The tone of the person that just spoke is so derisive that it stings my ears. It belongs to a guy, Timothy or Thomas is his name, I am not really sure.

One of the girls, whom I know as Tabitha, that is beside him shoves Davina on her shoulder causing her to stumble backwards,"Answer nau. Weren't you threatening us just yesterday?"

"Don't mind the effed up thing. After all her gra gra, she couldn't stand up to Tony." Another one of the girls surrounding her comments.

I feel a surge of anger course throughout my entire being at their actions and in turn, I make to move forward and separate the brawl but her voice stops me.

Her eyes are bloodshot but her expression neutral, her aura weakened but her stance firm and looking straight at the girl that made that last statement, she speaks,"Who is the thing you are referring to?"

The ill-mannered girl only chuckles and moves impossibly closer into Davina's personal space,"You."

And that is all it takes for a thunderous slap to be planted on the girl's left cheek. In turn, silencing the entire hallway. The once noisy atmosphere instantly cools down.

The silence seems to make Davina regain her senses because immediately, her eyes start to water as remorse seeps into her features.

Even though it all happens in a second, the scenario appears to occur in slow motion in my mind's eye. As Davina tries to apologise to the girl whose head is turned the other way from the ear-deafening slap, Tabitha pushes Davina so hard that she literally flies a distance before connecting with the floor.

Everyone is thrown back into a frenzy as the crowd disperses and that is when her eyes find mine. The indescribable hurt that flashes through them pierce me right through my soul.

She must think I have been here all along from the very beginning, watching her get bullied without doing a thing about it. When infact, I only just got here.

I immediately rush towards her and kneel beside her fallen figure to help her up but she scoots away. Instantly distancing herself from me and using the railings as her support, helps herself up.

And as she limps towards her class, I can only feel my heart twist and turn and shatter within me. To further add salt to my injury, Nasir runs up the stairs just then, a panicked look marring his features.

My Aphie does not seem to think twice before wrapping her arms around his shoulder and from the slight quaking of her body against his, I can tell she is crying her eyes out.

All I can think is that, I really shouldn't have.

I really should not have let her go, I shouldn't have gone about everything the way I did. At least, I could have told her what was wrong, how I feel and why I behaved the way I did. But it already seems too late.

Am I too late?

A/N

No words😪💔

Thanks for all the engagement and for getting me to 1.6k reads❤️. I really appreciate.

Word Count: 2944

See you all in the next update✨

Love,
Riri🌹