I'm engraining it to my memory bank. I'm kissing her slowly, passionately and with the hunger of a starving man having his last meal. Because this is the last time I'm letting this happen. I may be willing to break over and over but I'm not willing to break her. That's exactly what this experience will do to both of us; break us.

I caress the sides of her cheeks with my thumbs as our tongues tangle sensually. I pull away from her and drop down to my knees in front of her. She looks down at me curiously until I lean forward and place a kiss gently on another lace-covered set of lips.

I bring my hands to her underwear and slowly bring them down her legs, kissing the skin of her leg all the way down until I kiss her heeled foot. She steps out of the small garment and once she does I kiss slowly all the way back up until I reach her center. I look up at her and see she's biting her lip watching me, trembling slightly.

"Think you could stand on one leg in those?"
I look pointedly to her feet then back to her and she nods with her hazel eyes sparkling down at me.

No more than a second later do I lift her left leg and place it over my shoulder before placing my mouth on her aching core. She gasps out a moan when my tongue sweeps between her folds. I kiss her soaking heat in much the same fashion I had her mouth. I take my time with her, slowly savoring every bit, every taste.

She fists her hands in my hair, she moans my name over and over as I let my tongue work meticulously on her. I suck on her bundle of nerves then flick it with my tongue. I do this action several times until she can't take it anymore. She's riding my face and I love the feeling of her in need. I squeeze the soft round cheeks of her bottom in my hands, pushing her even more into my face.

"Oh god!" She chokes out above me and I chance a look up at her as she begins to lose herself beautifully. Her head is tilted slightly backward as she cries out into the room, her mouth open and quivering as she does so. I squeeze her harder as she cums in my mouth. Her hands are tugging my hair with so much force as she tries to retain her balance while orgasming.

After a few moments her grip loosens and her heavily breathing body regains its stability I ease her leg from over my shoulder and set it back onto the floor. I give her sensitive core one more brief kiss before getting to my feet.

"That was," she's still shaking, "I don't even have words."

"Good." I begin to strip all of my clothes off in front of her until I'm even more naked than she is. "Come here." I gesture for her to follow me over to the couch. She does so in just those heels and her green laced tank that fits her body like a second skin. "You look so god damn beautiful, Rae." And even after all the times I've said those same words to her she still blushes.

"How do you want to..." I motion for her to lean over the armrest of my leather sofa. "You want me to lean over that?" I nod.

She does just as I ask and leans herself over the edge of the couch. Her perfect round ass is poking up at me as I stand behind her. I give my already hard cock a few strokes before lining up with her. I rub myself up and down her drenched heat, coating myself in her wetness before I press the tip of myself in her causing her to gasp at the intrusion. I slowly press the rest of myself inside of her until I'm fully seated.

She feels amazing, the best feeling I've had since I was with her last. I haven't even been with anyone since her. There's no one like her, no one compares to what I have with her, it's pretty much killed my libido. But seeing her here in my apartment wearing what she's wearing and looking how she looks revved it right back up to full throttle.

I push in and out of her languidly, as I gently caress her lower back and buttocks. She's moaning consistently, slowly, just like my strokes inside of her. She's whimpering my name as she gradually climbs to her peak. I hold her hips in my hands, not hard enough to bruise her or hurt her. No, I hold her just enough to pull her back down on my cock the moment I slide myself out of her.

"I can feel you tightening on me, baby." I go a little faster because I can tell that's what she needs to get her to where she needs to be. I fist one of my hands in her long, red hair and tug backwards as she begins to come undone. "That's it, Rae. Just let go." And she does, moaning out into the apartment forcefully.

"I love you," she cries out into the room and that makes my pace falter. "Fuck, I love you so much." I pull out of her once she comes down, not responding to what she said. I can't respond to that. It would inflict too much pain on both of us.

"I want you in my bed." I said before placing a kiss on her lower back and giving her rear a light smack. She stands up a bit wobbly and almost collapses before I put my hands around her, steadying her. "Probably time to take those sex kitten heels off."

"Yeah, probably." She mumbles as she looks up at me. She leans against the sofa arm and lifts one leg up at a time for me to take them off. Once she's out of them and flat-footed she's back to being just under a foot shorter than me. "I feel so short now."

"Doesn't make you any less sexy." She smiles up at me before grabbing ahold of my cock. "That needs to come off." I point to her lingerie top. "And I want you in my bed riding me until I cum inside of you."

"Yes, sir." She smirks as she lifts her top over her head, revealing the naked skin underneath. She struts over to my bed and jumps in. I stand there, staring at her again. She's beckoning me with a finger, on her knees, her naked body on complete display. This is another image I'm going to remember forever and I feel a tug in my chest at the thought.

I walk over to the bed and gently cup her face in my hands before giving her a soft kiss. I pull away and rub my thumb gently against her cheek, engraining every small detail of the way she looks right now. She's happy and in love with me, something I always want to remember.

"Lay down you sexy man." She says it playfully which makes me smile. I do as she asks, scooting the covers down before I crawl in. Once I'm fully lying down she eyes me cock.

"You," I point to her, "here," I point to my cock, "now." No more than a few seconds later is she crawling up my thighs about to top me. The moment her tight wet heat finds my cock I shiver and once she slowly sits down on me I can hardly take it. "Slow." I tell her because I know her tendency to take out all of her emotional damage on me makes her want to go hard and fast.

She quirks an eyebrow at me as she grinds herself on top of me saying, "why, you don't think you can handle it anymore?"

"No, you know I can take it, Rae. I just, just want-" I just want to remember every single little thing about you before I tell you we can't ever do this again. No, not until we've both figured our shit out, not until we've grown. Her brow furrows a bit because she can see it, I fucking suck at hiding my emotions. Her pace slows almost to a complete stop as she leans forward and gives me a soft kiss before pulling away to look at me again.

"Seth..." She rocks her hips slowly on top of me and it feels so damn good but all these emotions are fucking with me. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just missed you, Rae." It's not entirely a lie. "I missed you so much." I hear my voice crack and she pauses, looking down at me worriedly. "Please, don't stop."

"Something is wrong." She's still maintaining a slow and steady pace on top of me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I grab her face and kiss her tenderly. She kisses me back tentatively but she kisses me nonetheless. She picks up her pace on me, riding me at a steady, orgasm inducing rhythm. "Oh fuck." I moan into her lips. "That's it, Rae, just like that." I feel myself lift my hips slightly as I bring my hands to hers and begin thrusting into her as she rides me. I meet her thrust for thrust.

"Jesus Christ, Seth." I feel her tighten on me and it's just about all I can take. "Tell me you're there because I'm going to-" She moans into my lips before she can finish.

"Yes, I'm right there with you. I'm going to fucking-" I feel my entire body tense as my orgasm overtakes me. I shake from head to toe as I give her one final thrust before losing myself inside of Rae. I feel my eyes snap shut as endless amounts of my load shoot inside of her. She's still tight, like a vice grip around me as I do so.

Once my breathing and hers starts to come to a normal level she pulls away from me, looking down on me saying, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Rae." She runs her fingers through my hair as she begins placing kisses all over my face. "I love you more than anything." And it's true and that's why it's unhealthy because I love her even more than I love myself.

She lifts herself up, still seated on me but now looking at me. Her features turn into the saddest mask I've ever seen. "Wait, was this," her eyes fill with sorrowful tears, "this was a goodbye fuck."

"We didn't fuck, Rae."

"No, you're right." She lifts herself off of me and onto my bed next to me. "You made love to me and wanted me to make it to you." I nod when the tears spill from her eyes.

"It's for the best, Rae."

"No, it's not."

"You know it is. It was originally your idea."

"But, I can't be without you. I keep trying but we always find our way back to one another."

"I know and we're going to have to stop that. Two broken people don't make one whole person." I say the words my father had said to me. "We need to fix the broken bits first, Rae. Then maybe we can see if this can work."

"Okay." She says with tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Come here." I open up my arms and she doesn't hesitate to snuggle into them even though she's still crying.

"I'm always going to love you, Seth."

"I know, Rae, and I'm always going to love you too."

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A/N:

The sexy sads.

I just wanted to thank you all for your continued support. Last chapter I posted about how I'm going through some things in my personal life and I can't believe the responses I've gotten. You're all so wonderful and I'm grateful for each and every single one of you.