I'm sitting here outside of Rae's apartment because I couldn't be with Chrissy. She'd undressed herself down to a beautiful set of lace lingerie and gotten down on her knees. She was ready to blow me away and all I could think about was Rae. Chrissy had looked up at me with that sultry pout and I'd told her I was sorry, that I couldn't do this anymore.

She'd looked hurt and embarrassed, telling me to fuck off and get out through angry tears. I felt bad, or at least I wanted to. But as much as what I'd said may have not been what she'd wanted to hear, I had needed to say it. Because the things that were actually on my mind were even less fair to her. Rae was right. I needed to stop messing with her, using her.

So, that's exactly what I'd done instead of get a blow job. I'd gotten in my truck and drove to the real place I wanted to be. The problem is that there's a familiar car parked on the street; Liam's car.

When I'd seen it the first thing I'd done is give a hearty eye roll at the ostentatious vehicle. A Mercedes-Benz coupe convertible. This is fucking Boston. No one in their right mind would drive a convertible all year long. I'll tell you who would though; an egotistical asshat.

Bet it does a fabulous job at maneuvering through two-feet of snow.

Now, I'm pretty deep into self-loathing land, not a place I've been familiar with until recently, because all I can think about is what they're in there doing. How he's in there touching her. Liam's probably inside of her at this very second, making love to her. He's probably watching her roll around in the sheets and admiring the way her red hair fans out perfectly across them. He's probably kissing her soft lips and whispering how much he loves her at this exact moment.

I let of a loud aggravated huff and punch the dashboard forcefully. "Fuck." That wasn't a good idea. "Why do I always have to fucking punch stuff?" I continue grumbling to myself in frustration. Right as I'm about to start my truck and drive away from this self-torture Liam exits the building.

Speaking of grumbling to one's self, he's doing the exact same thing. I roll down my window as quickly and quietly as I can. "Always comes in between-" I can't make out the rest because it starts to rain but I could've sworn I heard my name. He swears loudly and slams his car door before taking off.

I wait for a while, hoping he doesn't come back. I want to run inside those doors and right up to her but I can't do that if he comes back. It didn't seem like he was. Well, considering the fact he was mumbling in aggravation right before he left at least.

I watch the clock tick by for what seems like an eternity as the rain berates my truck windows. At first I was waiting because of Liam and now I'm waiting for this storm to pass but it doesn't look like it's going to let up any time soon.

"Fuck it." I jump out of my truck and run across the street to her building. By the time I make it to the door I'm soaking wet. I'm absolutely drenched. It probably looks like I just took a dip in the harbor.

Thankfully the guy at the door remembers me from the other night and lets me into the building without much hassle. I go over to the elevator, press the button, and wait impatiently for it to arrive at her floor. When it eventually does I almost bust my ass getting out due to the giant puddle of water at my feet.

I knock a few times on her door but don't get an answer and that's probably due to the raging storm outside. I knock again and hear her get up from wherever she is and come to the door.

She opens the door saying something but stops the moment she sees me. She's looking up at me woefully, like something she inevitably can't get away from. I'm probably looking down at her with a similar gaze. Because no matter what, it comes back to her.

"Rae..." I run my hand through my soaking wet hair, sweeping it out of my eyes. "I don't know why I'm here, but I'm here." It's a lie because I know exactly why I'm here.

I want to be with her mentally and physically. I need her. Truthfully, since seeing her the other night at the restaurant, for the first time in months, she's all I can think about. She's been all I think about no matter how much I try not to.

"Seth," she scans over my drenched body, "you're soaking wet."

"It's pretty nasty out." I shrug looking down at her, still standing in the doorway. "I broke things off with Chrissy."

"What?" She steps back and gestures for me to come inside. "What happened?"

"I ended it with her tonight." I take a few steps inside. "It's over."

"Yes, I heard you, but why?"

"Well she was about-"

"You're dripping all over the carpet." She interrupts with a sigh.

"Oh, uh." I look around not knowing what to do about that.

She shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling the way someone does when they're cursing the man upstairs.

"I can dry your clothes."

"You want me to-"

"Just strip, Seth. Preferably before you ruin my carpet."

"Uh, alright." I take off everything but my underwear and she holds her arms out. "No, I don't want to ruin your dress." And I truly don't. She looks utterly sexy in it. "Just show me where the dryer is."

"This way." She walks off down the hallway a bit until we reach another small hallway on the left. It holds a closet with a washer and dryer that sit one on top of the other. She opens the top saying, "in here." I put them in the top and she closes the door, turning it on afterward. "Come get dry." She opens the other door in the hallway which leads to a small bathroom. "Here." She tosses a towel at me.

"Thanks." I begin to wipe myself off.

"So," she leans against the bathroom counter with her arms crossed over her chest. "What happened with Chrissy? You guys seemed fine at the restaurant."

"She asked me if you and I were ever anything more than friends on the drive back to her place." Her eyes practically fall out of her skull. "Don't worry, I told her we weren't but she knew, Rae. She knows."

"Is that why things ended?"

I shrug. "It is and it isn't."

"What the hell are you even talking about?" Her face is full of confusion.

"We were about to..." I pause not knowing how to continue really. "She was about to give me hea-"

She holds her hand up, "spare me the details, thanks."

Good point.

"Right, well anyway, I couldn't do it."

"I don't understand. You've had no problems doing her before." She holds out her hand for the towel once I'm done and hangs it on the back of the door. "So she's about to do whatever it is she was about to do and you just left?"

"Rae, I couldn't do it anymore because all I could think about was you. All I can think about is you."

She slowly turns around. "Seth, you can't do that."

"Do what?" I scrunch my brows in confusion. "What am I doing?"

"Play with my head like this." She puts both of her hands on either side of her temples as she stares at the wall. "You can't do this to me again."

"Rae," I step closer to her, so I'm standing right in front of her "I don't mean to play with you." And I sincerely don't. "Did you really want more from me?" She doesn't say anything she just shakes her head yes. "Rae, look at me." She doesn't. "I should've stayed. I shouldn't have left especially after that night. What we made was-"

"Why are you doing this?" She looks up at me and her face is full of anger as she interrupts me. "Why, Seth?" She shoves her hands against my chest, making me back away from her, and then walks away from me into the kitchen. "Just fucking why?"

I watch her retreating frame and shake my head. "Because," I follow her into the kitchen where she's sipping amber liquid. "Because we should be together, you and me. We fucked things up. I get that. You get that. I really fucked up and I hurt you but Christ, Rae. I just want to lov-"

"No," she walks up to me and yells "no, you shut your mouth right now. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up."

"No."  I grab the sides of her face in my hands and make her stubborn face look at me. "No, I want you. I want to be with you. I want this. This. You and me. Together. I want to touch you again. I want to feel you again. I want it all. I want what we had that night before I left. I want that back. I want this back. I want you. You and everything you are, Rae."

"Seth," her eyes well with angry tears and I can tell she's going to fight me tooth and nail. It wouldn't be Rae if she didn't. She's a fighter, just like me. "You left. You gave that up. You gave me up when you did that. It's too complicated now. Things are, they're-" tears fell down her face with every word that fell from her lips.

"Please." My voice sounds desperate even to my own ears. "Please, Rae." She slowly places her hands on my abdomen and I can't help but close my eyes at the touch, the feel of her soft hands on me. "Please, don't stop," I whispered when her hands began to pull away. I drop my hands from her face and down to her waist, opening my eyes as I do. "Don't stop."

I pull her face to mine and kiss her soft lips. She's hesitant at first but she soon gives in with a soft humming noise. I bring my hands to the back of her dress and unzip the silky material down her spine. I begin to pull the straps down but she pulls away from me.

"I can't do this to Liam." She shakes her head at me. "He knows about this." She gestures between the two of us. "He knows there's still something." She pulls away from me, turning quickly on her heel to go into the living room and then up into her bedroom. "Just give me a minute. I need- I just need a minute to think about all of this."

"Rae, come on." I follow her again but the door is closed. "Don't shut me out." I grab the handle and open the bedroom door. "Rae-" and my words are cut off when I see her dress at her feet and her there in dark green lingerie. A deep pain seats itself inside my chest thinking Liam would've been the one to see her in that had he stayed. And I don't want anyone else to be able to see her like this. I want her to be only mine. "God. You're so beautiful."

"I told you to give me a minute." She steps out of the dress and picks it up. She walks over to her closet and hangs it up. "I just need a moment to think clearly. I can't think clearly with you here and half-naked, saying things like that to me."

"I'm sorry." She doesn't say anything. "I'm just going to grab my things and go then. I'm sorry, Rae." I turn and walk out feeling deflated.

There's a giant flash of lightning outside and a loud boom simultaneously. The lights go out in the apartment. I can barely make out anything. It's so dark and unfamiliar.

"Seth?" I turn around at her voice and see her silhouette in the doorway. "Please don't leave." And I catch a tone in her voice that I'm not familiar with.

I walk back up to her asking, "Rae, are you... scared?" She doesn't say anything but now that I'm this close to her again I can see and practically feel her body shaking. "Rae, it's okay. You're okay." I wrap my arms around her, "I'll stay. I won't leave you."

She clings to me, "promise?"

"I promise."