Jude was sitting on her hardwood, lacquered desk in her dim lit office in the wee hours of the night, she was equipped with regular pair of eyeglasses, checking sonly some committed lunatics, surveying their biographies and stories before being actually housed for the rest of their days, destined to root and die in misery of the vacuum limbo.

The inmates were already locked up in their wards to have extra good night sleep and being supervised by the security guards in the men and women's wings.

Today the middle-aged sister of the Roman Catholic church had a tough, particularly fatiguing day as her nerves verged to spring up like a toy-out-of-box. What she felt in general was actually a condition which she perfectly normal experienced almost incessantly.

Condition of being jaded after abundance of pressure flooded her body and mind. Condition that drained her physical and mental stamina she possessed.

Jude was no longer in mood in sharing profound, complex discussions right now with a handful of exceptions.

Whilst the middle-aged woman was folding forward by checking the imminent patient's files as her dexterous fingers tipped the sheet, meantime a couple of light door raps snapped her out of her current task as she acknowledged in an instant who stood before her office's door.

"Yes?" The blonde evoked sternly as she peeped over the sheet of paper's file as her parchment hand held it. She didn't take her inquisitive eyes off the door with its mosaic glass.

"Good evening, Sister!" The much younger sister Mary Eunice greeted warmly as she held a platter with their dinner meal, wearing a coy, girlish smile, honed up in the corner of her lips.

"Good evening, Mary Eunice!" The elder lady replied with a tad enthusiasm, vomiting in her voice undertone as she got to start in sorting the inmates' files, tidying her hardwood desk by removing in a swift motion her ordinary pair of eyeglasses, which motionlessly sat on the bridge of her delicate, elegant nose.

"What a splendid surprise of bringing dinner," The older blonde stuttered, licking greedily her lips as soon as the pervasive scents of buttered pitas breads, the bowls with hot tomato soups and honey puddings toyed with her nostrils, no longer bearing the gluttony that invaded her physically and mentally. It has been a long time since she has eaten something sweeter than honey pudding. She loved honey pudding though since the beginning of another life as a nun, where the frugal meals were part of her daily diet, despite the coq-au-vin dishes which she affords every Friday night especially for the Monsignor's sake. Jude was eyeing down the platter with its scrumptious dishes for the both ladies as if she was a predatory beast, while the tomato soup and honey puddings with the buttered pitas breads were playing the roles of innoxious preys. "It looks so delicious." Mary Eunice set the platter with their dinner meals on the polished desk as soon as Jude tidied her bureau, getting rid off worthless items which were taking extra, superfluous space.

"Just for both of us, Jude!" The young nun replied bashfully as she couldn't contain blush as her young-looking, fresh face was airbrushed in sanguine tint when she addressed her tutor by her first name informally, chewing her bottom lip as the older woman instead of expressing her frustration and quarreling right at her for this, she just gave her protégé a benevolent smile, hugging her berry-coloured, plumpish lips, rising her head as their eyes met.

"That's going to be one wonderful dinner night between us, Mary Eunice! You shouldn't be too fearful of addressing me Jude, instead of Sister." The both women seated against one another as their eyes met as the platter in the middle of the bureau was adorned with not only bowls of hot tomato soup, moreover with buttered pitas breads, honey puddings and silverware eating tools with handkerchiefs.

The truth was actually Jude was fed up of calling the younger blonde with her ecclesiastical title which they wore together, hence, it was her second nature to call her Mary Eunice, finding it for perfectly normal since their unarguable potent, doting platonic bond they have developed through the years of collaborating as devotional members of the clergy. Not only that was the genuine motive why their bond was undeniably puissant, even more Jude considered the innocent, unblemished nun as her own daughter role figure, although the ineluctable, sinister circumstance of infertility and emptiness she possessed years after blindly falling in love with her former fiancé, who hurted her not only with its foul infidelity and somber heartbreak, but also getting her down with a gruesome sickness, ceasing her to bear her own children to teach them and love with her entire heart.

"If you say so, Jude...Indeed, one wonderful dinner night between and for us only!" Mary Eunice stammered as she grabbed her silver spoon, occupying her petite, smooth hand, whereas the other one reached for her bowl of hot tomato soup and Jude commenced to equip herself with a spoon and bowl of soup, savoring it.

"For sure!"

In the first minutes of the dinner, they ate in silence until the moments turned into seconds, then they turned into minutes, advancing exceedingly, they could bear no longer the intense hush, arching between them. Unless the middle-aged woman broke the ice at last:

"How your day passed?"

"As usually, exhausting and dynamic! I really can't complain about it." The younger lady responded emphatically as she played in unsettled manner with her parchment, brittle fingers as they were on her lap, finishing her soup in a matter of minutes since it was damn mouth-watering and resuscitating her frail skeleton from its hunger, she has experienced without eating anything in hours, in fact, her daily schedule was immensely enervating and hectic, unable to rest for a single second.

"My day could be perfectly described in that way. At least, I feel better working as a nun than what I used to be stony-broke before joining the church, struggling to survive daily."

"Oh!" The younger blonde cried out shortly after munching the last bite of her buttered pita, consequently wiping her clammy jaw with a handkerchief as she shifted her sheer sapphire blue eyes, fulfilled with delirious innocence and verdure, glinting its light nuances. What it intrigued her was actually about her tutor's past. Past, full of paradoxal mysteries whether if they are prone to be disappointing or on the contrary relieving, removing its burdening ounce off the victim's shoulders. "You used to have a terrible life before joining there?"

"Of course, I did." Jude paused in wry manner, leaving her silverware tool in the platter with her already emptied bowl of tomato soup. What she felt was a demon, sent from igniting hell of her sinful past, haunting her as soon as she recalled its rueful moments of her life when she used to be a lewd, impulsive bimbo, who followed her heart as its booziness resiliently commanded her body instead of thinking before acting. Demon, roaming around her austere office with its his old victim of her past. "I wasn't the woman who I am right now. The considering, caring, selfless and compassionate who I became years after facing bigger monsters than my own foes." Afterwards she exhaled sharply, dramatically by pursing her lips, hence, popping them up as if a dynamite has exploded. "I doubt it you would like to listen about my past, Mary Eunice! I assure ya!"

"Jude, you don't have any idea what child I used to be when I was younger."

"You were a kid back then! We're all sinners. Every one of us!"

"You don't understand what I did as a child." The younger woman heaved a sigh, escaping the top of her fragile lungs. Meanwhile her eyelids were pooled with wryness of dew, sprung her impending bittersweet tears which are almost ready to spout down her milky cheeks as she felt guilty conscience gnawing her slowly, gradually. "My parents have never liked me and they have always treated me if I was actually a stranger as one day when I was barely 10 years old girl," Mary Eunice paused by taking her spoon and bowl of honey pudding by exhaling, recalling the explicit graphic memories of her painful childhood with her parents. "As I was sick and tired of their unmerited yells and being treated not as a normal child, hence, guess what I did!" Jude listened attentively her protégé without disrespecting her and cutting her off in the middle of her utterance as she was all ears, masticating from her own honey pudding. Her honey brown eyes were darted to the innocent sister of the church's azure blue eyes, vomiting its insecurity and bashfulness which she naturally possessed incessantly, noting something was readily hitching her, recognizing it in no time.

"I'm listening!" The elder member of the church exclaimed plainly shortly after masticating a bite from her dessert.

"I was just sick and tired of them. They didn't treat me as a child who's supposed to be loved. When they were in the barn, feeding the horses which my family owned, as I knew they were already inside the barn and I scratched marks by throwing it onto the countryside building, taking steps backwards to be as far as I could. I watched and watched the burning farm where my parents were trapped in the fire. I wasn't feeling guilty back. I was rather smug by rebelling against them." Subsequently the young blonde inhaled inwardly, leaving her bowl of honey pudding and spoon back in the platter as her hands were uncomfortably tipping the rigid, conservative dark fabric of her habit as her hands were on her thighs. "I didn't care how much they hated me. I didn't care at all. All I can hear was their hysterical screams, crying out loud for help and cursing the perpetrator, who set on fire the barn."

"Oh!" Jude gasped, paying utterly attention to the younger clerical member of the clergy's speech without interrupting her directly, nonplussed what she really thinks of this, although she knew right away it wasn't as horrendous as her depraved, dingy past at all. Pasts, brightly contrasting one another as if its oppositions were attracting together like magnets.

"They found an alternative how to escape the burning barn as quickly as possible with the horses as they were safe and sound. Then something chimed them I actually burned the barn by trying to kill them as a part of my revenge for their inferiority towards me." In the meanwhile, she swallowed hard as soon as the worst part was coming. "Finally my goose was cooked after all this."

Silence fell between the both women as a derisory smile, blossomed on the middle-aged woman's porcelain face, framing her ethereal, natural grace which she possessed whenever she's gleeful, moody or downhearted.

"Mary Eunice, ya shouldn't blame yourself for this! You did what your impulse and inner childish voice told you so then. It's perfectly normal one child to make such mistakes. It's forgiving, at least."

Thereafter the younger lady accepted Jude's wise piece of advise, affirming her words by humbly nodding her head, without getting in heating bland argues with her and confronting her stiff-necked side which she once unlocks, there's no escape from it unless she agrees with her. A sympathetic, demure smile flourished on her rosy-coloured, damp lips. Her frail heart molted as soon as the older blonde's train of words marched the railway. Words, persuading her that Mary Eunice used to be a little, perplexed little girl whose mistakes can be effortlessly forgiven without further ado unlike Jude's humongous, callous mistakes which on one hand transformed her in a much stronger, persisting and less trusting lady, while on other hand, she was beyond ashamed to tell any living soul about her gloomy past, when she was much different person.

"I'm not blaming myself. I am just realizing how infantile it was of my side. You are definitely right! I was just," In the interim, Mary Eunice shrugged her shoulders embarrassed. "A child!" She suddenly lowered her honeyed voice.

"That's what I am talking about, dear child! You have matured and realized every element between what's right and what's actually wrong."

"Indeed! Jude, do you mind if you tell me a bit more about your past or the mistakes which you can't even forgive yourself for?"

"I warned ya, I doubt it you will like it but since you insist, here we go!" The former promiscuous nightclub singer took a deep breath as she cleared her throat, seconds before commencing with her monologue about her debauched, grim past which she profoundly regretted from the bottom of her heart. Furthermore, what she attempted to do was to sort her mind, moments before starting promptly to spit out the truth. "I was just a young woman. A fool in love when it all began. Perhaps I was actually 18 years old gal, who fell head over heels with a man, who I considered as fine, caring, selfless and doting. His name was Casey. Yeah!" She dramatically lingering by tasting from the sweet, lip-smacking dessert she has ever eaten since she's part of the Roman Catholic church's duties. Meantime the younger nun didn't peel a single word, thoughtfully listening to her tutor's utterance, biting her bottom lip. "We used to be so happy and rejoiced together. We're along for a few years until the last weeks of our relationship I noticed something odd in him. The things turned out to be much different. He didn't seem satisfied at all. I just didn't know why. Not only he broke my heart and hurt me with his infidelity, even more he took away my most precious thing I could ever have if it wasn't it." Jude abstained from weeping, in spite of her eyelids sunk in its crystal, lucid dew of welling tears, which are tending to gush down extremely soon. "Children of my own! To teach and love." She whispered beyond desperately, bowing her head, while leaving her bowl of pudding and spoon in the bowl in the platter, holding her head.

"He put the blame on me as he called me a liar and a whore, therefore I became the whore as I was numbing myself with alcohol, boozing it until I passed and my memories and everything seemed blurring in my vision. I slept with more men than a normal woman get laid with for her whole life. One day, I was just desperate as I was inebriated in the middle of the night, driving until I crashed my cab in an angel statue and establishing there. In Saint Andrews where your tutor is here and there." The older nun resumed her long, deplorable exclaimation behind her dark past that haunted her as old demons, returning from the searing hell to torture her in each way.

What Jude expected was her protégé's instant disgust of her though she knew promptly Mary Eunice will love her as her own mother-figure, regardless what she used to be in the past, deeply relieving her. Little did she know about her impending reaction. The young woman figured out how tremendously painful and tormenting experience was as a roller coaster of her love life, descending gradually until it peaks the minimum level, without towering upwards, reckoning its progress.

The younger blonde put herself in Jude's shoes, already picturing the scenery of the immense pain and sorrow which might encircle her if she had such an ex-boyfriend, leading her to the high-class prostitution after being dumped, muting her sorrow and affliction with the alcohol as it was her sole hope for everything problematic.

"I am so sorry for hearing this."

"You shouldn't be sorry, Mary Eunice! It's in the past. We are living for today and tomorrow with new brighter hopes." What the former jazz nightclub singer abhorred most of all was actually the feeling of being pitied and considered as a victim.

"Exactly! But I highly doubt to forgive myself for what I did a long time ago."

"Aww, Mary Eunice! It's okay." In the meantime, the elder holy woman got from her chair as she rambled up to the younger woman, sitting on her desk as she placed on top of her shoulders her elvish, creamy hands, opting to soothe her by offering her a genial smile, distorted across her lips. Mary Eunice momentarily tilted her head as their gazes linked, locking up one another's piercing eyes as she couldn't help but smile in return. "You are still the pure and innocent girl in my eyes. I understand you how much you hated your biological parents and treated you unfairly, but look at us. You have me and I have you!"

Afterwards she got from her wooden, polished chair by approaching the older lady, snaking her arms around her upper back by pulling her towards her in a tight, warm and affable embrace as Jude couldn't repress the instinctive urge to clasp her arms around her sidekick's shoulders, imbibing its mutual warmness they shared with each other as she buried her youthful face in the crook of Jude's neck, shutting tightly their eyes as they permitted themselves to relish the hug they sunk into. Their heavily throbbing hearts in their ribs were pressed against one another, feeling the motion of its frequent beats.

"Do you truly mean all this?"

"I say what I really mean, Mary Eunice! I am never prone to lie somebody. I would like to thank you for this splendid dinner we had altogether. I truly appreciate it, my child!"

In the interim, they broke off the hug as they withdrew their faces a handful of inches, taking their time to admire each other's enthralling facial features as the both ladies were feeling much better after comforting and spilling the tea about their horrid memories which they shared along. They were not only in better condition and feeling less ounce burdening their frangible souls, but also they were relieved.

"No need to thank me, Jude! I really loved the dinner night we shared together and discussed together our burdening issues. You are my nonpareil mother figure as you know and you are my family, you know."

"You can always count on me, no matter what's encumbering you as well." A sheepish, modest smile flashed on the young sister of the church's palish, parchment complexion, illustrating her sheer and childish innocence as she resembled a true angel.

"Of course, I will! Thank you once again, Jude!" In the meantime, Mary Eunice was grabbed the platter with the emptied bowls of desserts and dishes as its pitas breads' crumbs sheeted the salver, heaving it as Jude aided her by opening her office's door.

"No problem, Mary Eunice! Good night and sleep tight!"

"Thank you and you too!"

Then the younger blonde fled her tutor's office as soon as possible by pacing up in the dark, long hallway of the nuthouse until she descends the Stairway to Heaven's stairs and heads up to the kitchen. While the middle-aged lady took a deep breath as she closed her office's door, shutting it.

Jude has always loved Mary Eunice and became doted on her in no timesince the beginning. Nonetheless, tonight's dinner which they shared as a pieceof moment of rapprochement was one of the most unique memories which she'sgoing to store up not only in her mind, further, abysmally in her heart,recalling the night whereas she shared with Mary Eunice her regretful past andvice versa.