I silently watched the blood drip from my wrists, as I sat on the edge of the Darkling's bed. Flashes of Mal's dead corpse kept replaying in my head. As if his murder was only a couple minutes ago.

I heard the doors open up nearby and thought if the Darkling had come to see me, or taunt me about Mal. Instead it was Riya who came into my view, holding one of my dresses in her hands.

"Oh my Saints, what happened?" She questioned, with a frightful look on her face. She kneeled down in front of me and held my hands. Quickly glancing at the knife right next to me, then back at my wrists. "Alina?"

I refused to say anything, truth be told. I could feel the blood loss starting to take its effects on me. "Hmm."

Riya quickly, dashed into the bathroom and got a wet cloth she gently dabbed over my wrists. She tried to absorb as much blood as possible. "I'm getting a healer."

I closed my eyes, hearing the sounds of Riya's footsteps become fainter as she exited the room. A light headed sense came over me, but soon I felt myself get better.

I must have lost sense of time, because the Healer–Riya brought in, was right in front of me and began to heal my self inflicted, wounds.

The healer was called Sierra. She had beautiful brown hair, plaited from the crown and left over with curls framing her face. Another beautiful sight to behold. She reminded me of the beauty of Genya, Zoya and Riya. All, ravishing, remarkable women. I flattered my eye lashes down, unlike me.

I knew what I looked like. Cover it up with Genya's skills, but I'm still me. Still the weak girl underneath, not the strong woman who had strong hope's to become Queen.

"Don't tell anyone about this Sierra, especially not the General." Riya whispered to the healer.

"Okay, I won't." Sierra agreed. She finished of the healing process and left my wrists with scars.

Sierra soon left the chambers and Riya returned to concerned look. I just realised what she wore, a beautiful silver head piece–with a light silk cover, over a tight red top she wore, and a flowy golden skirt. She looked gorgeous.

"Alina, why would you try and kill your self? Why did you cut yourself?" Riya questioned sitting on the bed next to me.

My heart dropped a little as I fiddled with the clasp of my brown belt around me. I could see my blood, in dried layers, cascading down my dress. I looked to the dress Riya brought in earlier. She hung it on the Darkling's dresser. I heard Riya sigh next to me.

"Go bathe and put that dress on, I'll clean up the blood spill on the floor and burn your dress." Riya ordered. I sighed getting up, feeling a rush of adrenaline to my head. I entered the Darkling's bathroom and slowly, stripped my dress off. I pulled my hair back into a mid-high bun. Getting into the cool, soothing waters of my bath.

I closed my eyes trying to forget everything that happened and felt myself slip slightly under the waters. Looking down at the waters, all I could see was the colour red. The colour of blood.

My nightmares returned, and I saw flashes of blood. On the floor, my clothes, my wrists, the knife. The corpse. The water around me turned a red colour. I looked at my hands to see it covered in blood. I started to panic. Whose blood was it?

I soon found myself not breathing properly. A sense of reality kicked in and I found I was drowning under the water. I felt something push me under, I must have screamed because a fuzzy black that towered over me, it wrapped me in a towel and lifted me from the bath tub. Grabbing on to try and support myself, my eyes started to clear up from the water and found my body rest on soft silk.

***
My vision returned and I saw the Darkling sat on the couch beside the bed. He looked anxious and slightly exhausted. Wait, what time was it?

I found myself very light, under the black silks. I looked under to see I was completely naked. Then I remembered the bathing incident. Sitting up on the bed, clutching the life of the silks around me. I observed the Darkling. "Did you see–?"

"No Alina. I wrapped you in a towel before bringing you here." The Darkling admitted, not a trace of any lie could be detected in his words. "How did–?"

"Why did you try to kill yourself Alina?"

"What?" I whispered.

"Twice, Alina. The knife now the bath." The Darkling rose from the couch and sat right next to my legs. I pushed my self straight into the corner of the bed, putting as much distance as possible, between us. I was worried of him stripping the thin silk sheets off me and forcing himself on me.

"How did you know?"

"I caught Riya cleaning up blood off the knife and the floor. Then I saw your dress smeared in it. It wasn't hard to put them together." The Darkling obviously pointing out how smart he was.

I rolled my eyes at the thought. "It doesn't matter. I'm still alive. Still breathing and unfortunately still with you, here." I spat with disgust.

"You wish to be with Mal, don't you. You want to die to be united with him in the afterlife." The Darkling picked up on my intentions. He came closer to my position on the bed, with a harsh look on his face. I feared what he was about to say next.

"You can't Alina. Not yet, you still have centuries, a lifetime to live which hasn't even begun yet. Before your time is over and your up there with your tracker."

His eyes darted to the night gown on the dresser then back to me. He quickly grabbed the hanger then laid the dress on the bed.

"So change, and be prepared for the days to come. Where finally you will get your fresh start without the tracker."

His words cut in like a knife. I even released pathetic tears from the harshness of the words spoke to me. The Darkling picked them up rubbed his thumb across my cheek, brushing the curve of my lips, slightly. His face turned to the sincere face he carried at certain times. "Don't cry Alina, your stronger then this and one day you'll know that too."

The Darkling vaguely complemented me then left the bedroom to allow me the privacy to change.

An hour or so later, the Darkling came in to check up on me. I laid in his bed, seeing as I did not have much of a choice. But could not sleep with the worry of him sleeping next to me. Though, my mind didn't really think much on that. Half the time, I looked up at the ceiling, imagining the night skies I would see in the Dothraki. I imagined Mal next to me, stroking my left cheek. His hands were cold and when I turned to see him, he was gone.

"Your supposed to be a sleep Alina." The Darkling's voice, pitched out. I didn't look at him, at the foot of the bed. I then heard him sigh and his footsteps getting fainter from the bed. Glad he wasn't going to sleep with me, but I was wrong. I saw pillows started to align right next to me on the black covers. I sat up slightly, "What are you doing?" I questioned, a tint of panic raised in my voice.

When the alignment of pillows stopped happening, I saw that there was a boarder made between the bed, I felt the mattress dip down and knew the Darkling lay on the other side. I peeked a glance over to his side. "I knew you wouldn't be comfortable with me sleeping here, but I needed to keep an eye on you. This should be a compromise."

I rolled my eyes at his 'Kindness'. I laid back down in bed and pulled the covers up to my breasts. Letting my arm spread down to the third black, satin, pillow that lay beside me. I could feel the gap between the sides of the bed. I felt the Darkling's hand near mine. My breathing took an unsettling gasp. My heart lay still inside my chest.

I could feel the bond surge through me as our fingers lingered on each others. I'm pretty sure he could feel it too. Hesitantly, he linked his fingers, inside mine. Holding hands in the middle of the bed. I could feel him amplify it slightly. I gasped. Which must have amused him, hearing me weak next to him. "Alina."

He whispered, slightly. Getting my attention. "Yeah?"

I felt him shift on the mattress, holding a tight grip on my hand.
"Don't ever harm yourself like that ever again!" He said with concern dripping of his voice. His tone was fragile, full of care. "Please, Alina. Don't ever try to kill yourself again."

I sighed heavily and tried to look over the pillows. I met his eyes, the outline of his face. "Fine." I pulled my hand out of his and turned on my side. Away from him.

I didn't say anything as I felt myself drifting off.

Published: 17:54pm 03/02/2022