"I'd rather not talk about it." I murmured, clutching the covers. "It haunts me in every nightmare."

"What does Alina?" The Darkling whispered, I could sense the sympathy. His voice tickled the back of my neck. "I-uh, you wouldn't understand." I whispered.

Turning onto the other side to see the Darkling's eyes look directly into mine. It wasn't clear in the dark but I could just about make the outline of his face. His hand trailed down my waist. He pulled me close to him and pushed me on top of him. I panted from the quick turn. One second I laid right next to him, the next I was on top of him. My legs met with his knees.

"You always look much better in my clothes then I do." He said as he tilted up my chin and stroked the side of my face. I felt my thighs tighten. I could tell what he was desiring to do.

"I'm glad you belong to me now." With that he kissed me. His hands sprawled out on my waist as my chest was pressed against his upper body. "Hmph." I groaned. A daunting memory flooded back to me and I couldn't let him continue further. I couldn't. I didn't want it.

This wasn't right.

I broke free from his grasp and slapped him in the face. "What the hell?"

"Don't ever pull me to you again!" I shouted, getting off of him and from the bed. I saw his kefta neatly slung over the wooden chair. I wore it to cover my petite figure. "Alina! I didn't mean to-"

"I don't want your excuses!"

"You once promised me you would never force yourself on me!" I almost cried. Anger rising to my throat.

"And I meant it." He said, irritation dropping from his voice.

"Then what was that." I asked, referring to what he just did. I slipped into his kefta. It hung over my arms, I pushed it back to my elbows and flipped my braid out of the collar.

Immediately I turned back to him and paced up to him. "There is something seriously wrong with you." I came closer to his face, ignoring the guilt written on his face. "Stay away from me!"

***

Quickly, I dashed up to the prow of the ship. I saw some Grisha nearby but chose to ignore them. My state right now was probably not the best, especially In front of men.

I went up to the railing and looked out to the dancing stars in the twilight sky. I wiped any traces of the Darkling from my lips with the sleeve of his kefta.

However, I was in his clothes. His long shirt and his kefta. I had nothing else to wear though and that was completely unfair. I wish i had brought my sword. It could have been stained with the Darkling's blood tonight instead of resting in one of my rooms in the palace. 

Looking back up to the stars I remember what Mal told me on the first night in the Dothraki.

"Whenever you miss me just look at the stars and clutch your necklace. I'm right there to kiss you." Mal said holding my hands as my 'too daunting dress' clung to the side. "What if I can't feel you?"

"They're the same stars in Keramzin-"

I scoffed. "Don't you dare say meet me in the meadow."

"Hey, you said that to me!" He said pretending to be offended. "Yeah because I'm me!" I smiled.

Mal came closer, and kissed the tip of my forehead, the side of my brow, my cheek, nose then finally my lips. "I wish I could save you from this slavery." He whispered. "I wish it too. But I'll be fine Mal. So long as your in my heart i will survive."

He was about to say something else, till Viserys Targaryen, called out to the both of us behind Mal's head.

I parted with Mal to see a tall man, with a long braid to the edge of his waist, sat on a horse. The chilly breeze shocked me under the hot sun. His face was confusing to read, but I suppose he was observing me. He had a long beard and dark furrowed brows. He must have been 'the horse lord.' Who's wife I was about to be.

I heard voices behind me, "How do we know he likes her?" Viserys asked a minister. He was loyal to the Targaryen house. "We would have known by now." He whispered back. I looked deeply into the eyes of the horse rider before me. He tugged the reigns of his horse and turned into the distance. 

"One day you will cross the Narrow Sea and take back your fathers throne." I heard the minister say. 

 Mal walked up to me after sensing my distress, he laced my fingers in his. "Just look at the stars Alina. I'll be there."

The storm In my mind calmed down as I opened my eyes to see the glittering diamonds. I'll be there.

And now he really was. The biggest star in the distance, shined more than the others. I believe it was Mal, looking down at me from the heavens. After everything we had been through, he deserved peace, I wished I did too. But clearly destiny has other plans. And once again my freedom was taken from me. By the Darkling again.

Being sold to marry Khal Drogo was a whole other story and as much as I wanted to forget what happened to me, I couldn't. Married at such as young age. A child bride.

Mal and I had often talked about it when we were children, how our lives would be when we were older in our bunks in the orphanage. He once proposed to me when I was seven, and I told him. "Oh Mal, I would have loved to marry you but ask once we're eighteen and I'll say yes."

I had a mad crush on him since then but he just said it as a joke and even took my reply as one. I laughed slightly at the memories. I wiped the happy tears that unknowingly spilled.

"What's making you laugh?" A familiar voice said. I turned to see Tamar standing there. She leaned against the ship's ledge. "Nothing. Just remembering someone."

"Mal?"

I nodded. "Where the hell were you all this time?"

"I haven't seen you since before Mal died. Its been like two months." I was forwards with her. She straightened he posture. I analysed how much she had changed in the past months. He hair had grown longer, it reached down her shoulder blades, and barely reached the slopes of her breasts. She tucked in the strands of her hair. She didn't wear her kefta but only her regular breeches. "I know I'm sorry. But me and Tolya had to stay behind. So we made a deal with the Darkling earlier."

"What deal?"

"It was a night before Mal died."

Then it dawned on me. "That's why you weren't taken prisoner. It was only me; Mal, Nikolai, Genya and Zoya. It's because you both betrayed me." My voice ripped, the same way I felt when I found the General was the Black heretic.

"No." She denied. "I mean-I guess. But we did it for you all. We needed to get into the inside to betray him. "

"Is that why he didn't take us earlier. After mine and Nikolai's engagement ball? Because you were reporting to him. He didn't need to come. If this was really your agenda, to be a double agent why didn't you tell us?" I asked, a little sceptical.

Tamar held onto my shoulders," The Darkling has eyes and ears everywhere. It wasn't safe in any palace."

She looked past my head to something behind me. "And it still isn't! Not even on the sea. Your like my little sister, I had to protect you." She whispered.

My heart thumped. No one had ever treated me close to a sibling. "I am not your burden Tamar. Your my friends I would do anything for you guys."

"And we would for you, when will you realise your never alone." She stated, some annoyance laced her voice.

"When is the mutiny going to happen?" I whispered, remembering what Rosa told me. I tried making sure nobody else heard us. "I'm thinking tomorrow, or preferably when we get the sea whip."

"How are we going to do that? Let the Darkling put two amplifiers on me and increase my power then throw him off hoping he would drown to a watery grave?" I said, trying to make sense of it.

Tamar pursed her lips, "I mean when you put it like that." She tilted her head slightly. "Also why are you wearing his kefta?"

I forgot.

"My dress was soaked by the rain so I had to wear the Darkling's shirt."

"I took his kefta to come up here and away from his cabin." I said rather disgusted.

"Your sleeping with me!"

"What?"

"Well do you want to back to the Dark King." Tamar said. I shook my head. "Good. I've got some spare clothes you could take and an extra hammock." Tamar said leading me to the far end of the boat.

We passed a couple Oprichniki, who just laughed and chattered amongst the dancing fires. They, thankfully, didn't notice me.

I smelt the mould of fish, rotten corpses and damp wood. "The smell doesn't bother you?" I asked Tamar. She half glanced at me. "You get used to it."

She opened an oak maple door that creaked warily. Dust fell from the hinges of the door. It must have been a long time. I saw two hammocks lined in the cabin, as a desk and a couple chairs were in the room. I saw the collection of knives spread out amongst the board of the desk. I picked up a small knife. "Are you always this attached to knives?"

Tamar came to stood beside me, "I used to throw them at my brother when I got bored in my childhood. He almost lost an eye because of me." I giggled lightly. "Saints. That's kinda cruel."

"I guess. But if another woman does that to him I'm a stab them."

I ignored the over protectiveness, twirling the knife in my hands I could only imagine one thing. Stabbing the Darkling, or slicing his throat. Preferably whilst he's sleeping. "You know if you love that knife so much you take it."

"No it's okay. I can use the cut, but this knife would be a good back up to defend myself."

"True. Some men aboard, could get drunk you don't want to risk it." Tamar stated as she pulled off her blue breeches. I turned away when she started changing. Thinking to myself, I remembered Nadia. "Hey, do you know anything about Nadia, or the women who recently turned up at the palace?"

I turned around to see Tamar wearing a grey blouse. "Oh she's fine. Yeah. The women were tested to be Grisha or not. I assume you met Rosa?"

"Yeah, I did. She told me about the mutiny."

"Well, the Darkling had them tested. The Grisha we're in the Little Palace and those who weren't became guards or spies in the Palace."

"So they're like double agents? Since many of them are in my army." I summed up. Tamar handed me some clothing. "Yeah pretty much. And Nadia is fine. She actually made sure the Darkling didn't suspect them and even continued with some of her studies and she looks really pretty with her hair lose." She said, losing her word train at the end. I raised my brows, my mouth formed a cheeky smile. I observed the crimson on her cheeks. She was blushing.

"Aww."

"What?" She asked suddenly. "You like her don't you. Like, like-like her."

"No I don't!" She denied really quickly. "You two would be so cute together." I teased her. This was something Genya would do to me. Or me and Zoya teasing her about David. They were harmless and fun to do. The gossip, the blushing, the denying. Everything, every moment with those amazing women. It started of on the morning of the Winter Fete. When David introduced his fabricator gloves. The way Genya touched her lips, or complemented his intelligence and David's shyness. The way they constantly looked at each other and immediately turned away, blushing madly as I witnessed them from the corner of my eye when I demonstrated my sunlight in front of everyone.

"Shut up." Tamar smacked me on the arm. "Don't you have clothes to get changed into."

I looked down myself. "Right, umm could you turn away." I asked politely.

"We're women. But okay."

I quickly changed into a black vest under the white blouse and slipped into the black leggings underneath. They were comfortable to move in.

Once I was done, I grabbed the Darkling's clothes and rubbed my light against them. "What are you doing?" Tamar asked.

"Burning these." I sparked them and they ignited staring to torch. It wasn't Inferni-like but it sufficed. Light and fire weren't so different. The clothing burned and reduced to thin seams of black that fell to the floor.

"Okay, I'm tired." I returned my attention to Tamar. "And I'm hungry, let's eat first."

The night was spent talking, catching up, eating, shaming each other, plotting and eventually sleeping the night away. The Darkling didn't storm here and get me, he must have respected my distance from him. How I didn't wish to see him.

***

Published: 20:14pm 23/05/2022