The next morning me and Tamar were beckoned up to the prow of the ship. Some of the Heartrenders eyed the clothes I was wearing. I wanted to scream back, "Have you looked at yourselves?"

I found Bash on the ship, who hesitantly put my wrists in cuffs, I saw the faint scars of the suicide attempts over my wrists from about two months ago. "I am truly sorry about this Princess." Bash said waving off Tamar and taking me back down to the other side of the ship. "What's going on Bash?"

"Your getting the collar back." A calm, truly terrifying voice called out. I stopped in my tracks but Bash nudged me forward. I could tell by his tone he was serious. I wondered if it had anything to do with last night. I saw around, there was Ivan, Fedyor with his sympathetic eyes, David with guilty appearance.

The Darkling's eyes wondered over my clothes, "Genya, would you please assist Alina into dress in something more appropriate from the collar."

Genya didn't bow or retort back to the Darkling's orders, I think she was terrified or deceptively obedient.

Genya took me by the arm, I saw the sadness in her eyes. "It'll be okay Genya." I whispered to her. She took me behind a thick curtain, I glanced back to see all the men turned away to allow me privacy. The only sound that could be heard was from the breakage of my cuffs and ruffle of my clothes. It was black obviously, off the shoulders, thick dress.

It exposed enough space for an antler collar to be reset on my collar bone. The Darkling had a spare since the stag was killed. Once I appeared from the curtains, I saw David with the amplifier in his hands. Genya was forced to stay alongside Bash.

I felt my heart drop a little, it was as if my breathing became difficult. Ivan came up behind me and shoved me to the ground. He grasped the back of my hair and forced me to look up.

"Ivan! Gentle!" The Darkling ordered. I felt him ease his grip on my scalp.

"This isn't going to work, you know that. Remember last time–"

"This isn't going to be like last time! Your tied to me remember. Its different when your with the Tsar."
He walked up to me and kneeled down before me.

"If your going to give me a false speech of hope you can go fuck yourself." I said witty. Immediately it was a terrible move. Ivan pulled back my hair and slapped me to the ground. I groaned in pain.

From the ground, I vaguely looked up to see Genya look down at me with painful eyes.

"Alina." She said pitifully as she tried to intervene till Bash stopped her. He had the same guilt. I then realised his eyes were on my cheek, Ivan must have hit me with a claw. Without warning I started to cry when Ivan pulled me back up from my shoulders. I couldn't believe i didn't manage to fight this back when i had multiple opportunities to. After everything i was back here, caught in a cycle of misery and pain. As if a rag doll being churned over the oceans in a freak storm.

The Darkling took force of my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "This time I won't be so kind."

"You've never been kind especially last night." I spat in his face.

"When we were in the rain?" He asked lazily.

"When I was in your cabin and you pulled me onto you." I whispered angrily, so only he would hear me. "What? You were not in my cabin last night."

"Stop lying! I was. It was raining and lightning outside so you gave me your kefta. I wore your shirt then torched them last night. You pulled me on top of you and kissed me."

"Alina what are you talking about I never did any of that?" He said, his brows furrowing with confusion.

"What?"

"I was with Ivan giving orders when we had a location on Rusalye and I am wearing my kefta. " He glanced to the side of my head. I half turned back, Ivan nodded. It was true. "You could have brought spare Kefta's along with you."

I looked back into the Darkling's eyes, he looked just as confused as i was, "Wait if it wasn't you last night. Then who was with me?"

The Darkling looked truly surprised as did I. I was sure It was him last night, could It have been my imagination? Was any of it real? No. I wore his clothes, I used my light, I was with Tamar. Though I couldn't let him know that as a risk to endangering her.

"Alina. It could have been a dream." He said, his tone sympathetic. He grazed the side of my cheek gently. He removed it, blood stained his fingers. "No Aleksander it wasn't a dream. Believe me I would have known, somebody was you. Somebody wanted to be with me. Somebody tried to–" My voice trailed off when I thought of what to say next.

"Alina." He whispered, so lovingly. "Take this amplifier by will. Use it to protect yourself if not power yourself. You can identify if I was with you or not. The bond will grow stronger and so will you. Wouldn't you want that?" He said, cupping my face.

"I am powerful."

"Remember the prediction. The most powerful woman. Which you are, now be the most powerful Grisha." The Darkling said. My eyes averted between him and David. I needed to be stronger, but I was already. However, I would have more control of it now, not him. He could talk to me, have access to my powers, have his Nichevo'ya imprinted on my abdomen. So what would have changed in the connection between us? My and Nikolai's connection would be stronger too.

"If I take it. Will you stand in my way to become Queen of Westeros and take the Iron Throne?"

He flinched, "No, I will be by your side."

"I don't trust you!" I stated boldly.

"Don't then, but take it. Become stronger for you." I thought It over. I couldn't take him at his word as i knew he would never want anyone stronger than him but he couldn't deny the destiny that was set out for me, perhaps i have to endure this torture and trauma before i become powerful. Whatever the Darkling's angle would be, mine was stronger. 

 As soon as he helped me on my two feet, his gaze went to my collar bone and i grasped my necklace acknowledging what he was about to do. I grasped it tighter not wanting it to be taken from me but as soon as he removed my hand from my necklace he ripped the necklace leaving my neck sore, i didn't even flinch.

A healer came up to me and healed the bloody wounds on my face and graze on my neck. Then David approached me. He mouthed 'I'm sorry.'

"It's okay David."

He placed the collar on me and soon I felt it pushed into my skin. I expected to scream, but I didn't. Was I stronger or was the collar weaker?

The Darkling watched intensely, he made sure I was safe. Once the pushing was done, I nearly fell to the ground, the Darkling caught me against him.

***

The next couple of days, we docked near a remote island. It was said to be the habitat of the Sea Whip. After the first amplifier was put on me again, my skin. My body was disgusted and my mind returned to past insecurities.

I wasn't beautiful at all. Maybe cute but I knew otherwise. The collar just made my body less desirable, which was good for my dignity. But I wondered over how Nikolai would react. Would he be disgusted? Would he turn away? The Darkling definitely didn't desire me the same way as Mal used to or Nikolai does, maybe even Bash?

These relations were to complicated, and utterly unbelievable. I guess imagining your beautiful and seeing how you are is different. I even heard a couple of the Darkling's Grisha talking about how pathetic of a Saint and summoner I was.

I hated that I cared but I did, I wish Mal was here to tell me otherwise. But he wasn't? And the worst thing was I no longer had him in my dreams since his death. It hurts so much I can't breathe.

My mind returned back to the present, I sat beside the camp logs in the afternoon sun. Gently stroking my collar, depression came over me. Genya sat beside me and gave me water, which I refused.

"Gen please." I pushed the canteen away. She looked exhausted. "I just want to be left alone, forever."

"I'm hideous now." I whispered gently.

"Alina, your not hideous. Your beautiful." Genya took my hand in hers.

"Please... Just don't. I'm so pathetic that instead of focusing on my powers I'm worrying on my appearance."

"Your not pathetic. You have been sacrificing everything since the day I met you. Your stronger than you think."

"I don't feel strong. I feel like a statue, or an object that's constantly being trashed or exploited by the Darkling. I feel–nothing." I admitted. The scariest of my thoughts being, It was true and I wondered how much darkness I had in my life.

"Nik. Nikolai." My heart ached, ached for his touch, his hopeful words and his love. "You want Nikolai?"

"Genya, I feel lost."

"Nah, baby. Darling your depressed and upset." She hugged my shoulders, "Breathe. You'll get through this, you were never alone." I felt her kiss the side of my cheek. Sniffling up my tears I pulled a fake strengthened impression. She couldn't understand my pain and that's okay. She had someone she loved, someone who was alive and well. David.

She gorgeous and she's fought against every darkness in her life. I couldn't ever relate to her just my heart ached from everything. Every expectation as a Saint, as a Queen, a Khaleesi, a Summoner. And worse as someone who is destined for greatness.

Time passed to night and soon the Darkling came around to sit beside me near the fire. We didn't speak. Silence spoke his anger and sympathy. "Alina." He spoke, breaking the silence.

"I will find who paraded being me that night and I will kill him."

"I know." I whispered, as I felt his eyes on me. "I know your wrath." I directed to the collar I rubbed. Now sore and red.

Facing the other side, I avoided him completely. "Your beautiful Alina." I heard him murmur near my ear. "What?"

"Your beautiful. I know you can't see it but everyone around you does. Genya was right."

"You–you heard us?" I spoke softly. A rush of pettiness could be sensed in the aroma around us.

"The collar is power. Power comes from within, which you constantly prove. So cheer up because tomorrow we're entering the crystal labyrinth." His sharp tone returned, I whipped my hair back to face him.

"Crystal–what?" I asked confused. He explained it was a series of challenges the worthy would have to face to see an audience with Rusalye. Which I know, he intends to get then slay it and take its scales. "Worthy? As in pure of heart and intention?"

"That's where your friends come in."

I paused, piecing it together. "No!" I whispered as the fire flickered near his handsome face. "Yes, Genya is beauty and strength. Tamar is will and power. The Sobachka, though Volcra. Has been carved as a man and with a good heart. In case all else fails he would be sacrificed."

"No!" I nearly screamed in his face. "Please, wait why are us two going in?"

"Your heart is good and the labyrinth's powers will sense your natural light. However, I and Ivan will not enter, we will be guarding through with Sebastian and Riya." He explained.

"That is a fucked up plan if I ever heard one." I exclaimed. "You should control your tong, because tomorrow your leading the way in." I saw the Darkling pull something out of his pocket, he dangled it in my face as i saw it glow in the fire. "My necklace." He ripped it off my neck. "Your clearly attached to this trinket, i assume a close friend gave it to you." He theorised. 

He was right, Mal gave that to me the day i returned to him in Ravka from Essos. "Give me that." I made to snatch it out of his hands. He retracted just in time, "It will be returned to you after you get the second amplifier."

Thinking over the cruelty, i closed my eyes in frustration and anger. However, i was to tired to fight him at this moment so i nodded and agreed to what he wanted. Tomorrow i had to get the second amplifier, which i will use against him and get the last possession that represented Mal.

*

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Published: 11:42pm 16/06/2022