63. THAT WEIRD, EUROPEAN DUO

note: the kaiser and name interactions are very much based off these tumblr posts i see this author make and its so funny. i forgot their ACC name but the relationship between kaiser and the y/n in their stories is so effing funny i love it

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IT'S

officially been three days since you've been with your newfound German teammates, and you're not too sure it's going too well.

Firstly, you don't want to sound judgy, but they're really strange. You think Ness is a bit too obsessed with Kaiser (it's shown so evidently from the fact he follows him around like a lost puppy), but hey, you could see past that if Kaiser didn't treat him like an actual dog. He tugs on Ness' hair when he's mad, he also makes Ness wipe his hands when he touches something dirty, and you think he'd even make Ness wipe his ass from how willing the brunette is to do everything.

The rest aren't all that normal either. Grim won't stop quoting Edgar Allen Poe, Gesner doesn't stop talking about dick cheese—Mariele reprimands him a lot for this fact, and speaking of Mariele, you think she might be a little strange herself, too.

She's almost expressionless, but not in the way Noel Noa is—her face practically never changes. Sure, she glares, her eye sometimes twitches when Kaiser says something ridiculously overconfident, and she even has this look of thought when she's pondering really hard about a training method (or about whether the painting in her room is straight or not), but it's all subtle quirks that you pick up on because you spend almost every waking moment beside her.

Her face is unnaturally doll-like—you wonder why. It sort of scares you, but not in the way you wish to avoid her—you want to know more. This pale, German woman intrigues you—with her tepid glances and soft-spoken words, you want to know more about Miss Mariele.

Secondly, Kunigami has been bothering you lately. Not that he hasn't been leaving you alone or anything—no, it's the fact that he keeps leaving you alone. You don't know what happened to him between the time he was locked off until now, but whatever it was, it was bad.

It had to be bad, at least, because he's nothing like how you remember. Perhaps you were viewing him through rose-coloured lenses, but even so, this personality—so rude, so selfish, so cold—is nothing like the hero you remembered. The hero who welcomed you when you were once so rude, cold, and selfish, and the hero who told you he wouldn't wish for any other manager but yourself.

You're not sure he's even a hero anymore. You remember walking up to him after training on the second day and greeting him, telling him how excited you are that you're seeing him again, and most of all, calling him a hero.

He promptly told you to shut up and leave him alone—you don't know if he could hear the sound of your heart cracking in your chest with his words. Then, he voiced his menial thoughts with the following words, 

"I'm not that stupid hero anymore. You're a fucking idiot if you still think that."

You took the hint and you haven't talked to him since. Sure, it's only been a day or two since then, but still. His words really did upset you. Maybe it would've been better if you hadn't seen him again—at least your memories of him would bring a smile to your face. Now, all you seem to feel is an empty sense of longing for his gentle, heroic kindness.

Whatever, you would think. I shouldn't even care. He can do what he wants.

But you do care. It's your job to care. It's not like you weren't going to follow up with your promise to yourself just because Kunigami decided he wanted to be pissy and hate the world from now on, but you're sure it's going to be a hell of a lot harder when he refuses to talk to anybody outside of a match (other than insulting them, anyway).

Thirdly, you think that Kaiser might be a really big jerk. Not like you didn't know this before, from the way Mariele described him, but you underestimated just how much of an ass he actually is. You don't know what his deal is—is he just angry at the world and decided to take it out on you with coy smirks and stark innuendoes?

You're not sure. Maybe this was God's way of punishing you after you went against the fate of forever longing that was set out for you—cursing you with the presence of Micheal Kaiser (who, to be fair, sees himself on par with that of a God).

He's also incredibly vain, you've realised. He seems to place a lot of value on physical appearance. You've noticed this from:

A) You can hear him through the thin walls in the morning—while you're doing your own routine or chores—talk to himself about how amazing he is. You once made the mistake of walking in on him to change out their rooms' hygiene products and seeing him have a whole staring contest with himself in the mirror (a practical make-out session with his eyes) was not something you'd wish to witness again.

B) The (very much one-sided) conversations you two have had together. Whenever you get food he's already there, Ness at his side like a loyal dog, and chatting away like you two are old friends. Of course, he talks about himself 90% of the time. The other 10% is split up into a few components. 

A little bit about you, and why you should be loyal to him, some about Ness (once in about eight conversations this will happen, so it's a pretty rare occurrence) another portion is about tactics, and the last is about how much of a clown Isagi is (which, once more, leads into why you should be loyal to him).

A lot of these conversations that happen to include you have a lot about physical beauty, his own and yours, of course.

So, you've learned Micheal Kaiser is very, very vain.

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You scan your ID card across the device, and it quickly lets you inside the kitchen. I'm sure I told Mariele to leave some...

Your smile brightens when you catch sight of a container of food you left for yourself a couple of days ago. Good. It's still here, you sigh in relief. You've been looking forward to his meal all day. After such a long training session of dealing with petty fights breaking out, a physical throwdown between Raichi and Gagamaru, and insults hurled at you from various people in various languages—you were just about ready to hit the hay and sleep for a good day or two.

But of course, not before getting a mouthful of the food you've been waiting to eat for so long. You're going to have a good mealtime and it's going to last—you're determined of it.

No matter what happens to occur during these mealtimes, you're one hundred per cent determined to enjoy it.

No matter if anybody interrupts your peace, you will still enjoy it.

Even if that someone happens to be two German men who aren't so sure on how personal space works.

As soon as your plant your ass at that god-forsaken table, you're quickly met with very, extremely fake gasps of shock. "Well, well, Ness—look who it is!"

You'd recognise that voice in your sleep from how often you hear it. It takes everything within you to not slam your forehead down on the table. You'd hate to have a bruise—but even more so, you'd hate to hear what he has to say about it.

"Oh, [name]." Ness, on the other hand, does not look all that pleased. You're not sure if he's starting to resent you for taking his precious owner's attention away from him, or if he just doesn't enjoy your constant presence, period, but it's starting to get to you. 

Still, even if only to stay in favour of his beloved emperor, he forces that mindless smile onto his lips and waves, "Hello, [name]! How have you been?"

Maybe he has that mindset, If Kaiser is interested in you, I must be too! Or something similar—that's the only rational answer you can think of for how he acts towards you. You don't answer his question, but it doesn't bother him one bit. You know this because you've done it so many times before and yet he still persists in asking such a meaningless quip.

You shovel your food into your mouth. You're still very much determined to make the most out of this. This is your favourite food, and you don't plan to waste it.

"Well, tepid as always, I see!" The smile he sends you almost makes you snap your fork in two. You would've if you had the strength of the Hulk, but you don't, so you didn't.

He makes himself at home on the seat right across from you, elbows planted on the tables and chin resting in his hands. He's watching you eat like it's fascinating—it makes you feel slightly uncomfortable with how intense his gaze is, actually—while Ness is simply staring with his empty, void-like eyes that are only filled with thoughts of Kaiser.

Maybe he's trying to read your mind. Figure out what's going on underneath your skin. Well, jokes on him, because you aren't giving them a second thought. Nope, not at all. Because you know why? You want to enjoy your food.

Kaiser clears his throat—he clearly does not know how to strike up a conversation but tries anyway—"So. The weather is nice. Right, Ness?"

We're barred indoors.

You're almost one hundred per cent sure Ness has this exact same thought, but still agrees with Kaiser because what else is he good for, "Yes. It's been very nice lately."

The silence that follows is deafening. It would kill a Victorian child from the 1800s on the spot. It's so awkward you want to die. Silently, you pray for Mariele to come and save you from this terribly uncomfortable conversation.

If you don't say anything, it's so obvious this will continue until you either end up moving or finish eating. So, to avoid both these options, you finally opt to speak once you've finished chewing a bite, "What do you even want?"

The sound of your voice makes him perk up from his slumped position. He looks pleasantly surprised that you spoke. Did he expect to carry on a one-sided conversation this whole time?

 "I want you to be on my side." He says proudly, chin tilted upwards and Ness is sparkling beside him.

There he goes again. You think you've had this conversation at least five times, and it's only been four days. Kaiser seems to be very passionate about this. You aren't too sure why.

"Okay." You say, as calmly as you can. He blinks at you while you chew another bite. "No. I don't get why you're so insistent on this. I already said no. I'm not going to give everything up and join you. That's stupid."

Ness gasps—acting like you had just cussed out his mother—and places a hand over his chest so dramatically you'd think he was Grim, "How dare you call Kaiser stupid?!" I didn't. "You're the stupid one! You're just a—"

"Ness, shut the fuck up." Kaiser, with grit teeth, slams Ness' forehead down and grips the back of his hair roughly. It doesn't look like enough to leave any marks but to get his lackey quiet. His begrudging smile returns, forced across his lips like nails on a chalkboard, "You're stubborn, and you have a thick skull underneath that nice face."

An insult and a compliment all in one. That's kind of impressive.

He leans forward, over the table with his hand still tugging at the back of Ness' head (you can hear the small ow's coming from the brunette, but no visible signs of him actually trying to escape the bone-crushing grip), "I like it. It'll make it all the more satisfying when you submit to me."

You scrunch up your nose in very clear distaste, not hesitating to make eye contact—looking right into his glowing blue eyes is an experience you don't think you'll soon forget, "You're actually mental. You're never going to make any friends with that kind of bad attitude."

You abruptly stand up out of your seat, making an odd screeching noise behind you. The container was now empty and you actually did end up enjoying your meal, despite the bothers that persisted during it.

Still, Kaiser stares, narrow-eyed and scrutinizing you with his gaze alone. "Even after Yoichi's poor performance during training, you refuse me—the better option. I don't get it."

You glance at him over your shoulder, eyes sharp and digging into him like knives. Ness hesitantly tilts his head up and can only see through his thick bangs. "Isn't it obvious? It's because I believe in him more than anybody. That's not something that can just be gained overnight, you know. Until you give me a reason to believe in you, I won't even look your way."

Without another word, you start to walk away, leaving the two German men behind you. You place your dirtied dishes in the sink, shoulders sunken downwards.

They're so strange, is all you're thinking.

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