53. FREE

*⋆｡˚𖦹࣪˖ ִֶָ⋆｡°✩

YOU 

gently allow Chigiri to take a seat on the edge of the pristine, white bed. Niko is the one on the opposite side of him, clutching his foot that is perched upon the white sheets.

The first thing you should do... is check if there are any external injuries.

You kneel down in front of Niko, eyes filled with concern, "Where do you feel the most pain?" He motions towards his foot, clearly, and around the left side of his waist, where he crashed against the ground earlier.

You make him take off his sock and shoe on the pained foot. There's nothing. Good. He lifts his shirt slightly and there's nothing there either. That's also good. You let out a little sigh of relief and you nod at him. "That's good. Is the pain unbearable? Or is it more similar to a stinging sensation?"

"It's more like it's stinging." He mumbles, voice low. His bangs hang low over his eyes as he lowers his head down, "I don't think anything too bad happened to me. It's just hard to walk."

"So you can't play." You finish his words for him, and with his nod, you nod back, pressing your lips tightly together. "Right. That's good. You can just rest here if you need, or you can go back and sit on the sidelines. I don't think you're going to get back in, though."

Niko shakes his head, bangs swaying with his movements. His lips are pulled taut downwards, "I don't mind. I'm fine. I'll leave." 

"Okay." You say, voice quiet. "I'm sorry you got subbed out, Niko. You can come back here and get some painkillers if the pain gets worse."

He doesn't say anything back, but he nods to let you know he heard you. Niko stands up from the bed and on one foot, limps towards the door. You watch him leave in silence until he shuts the door behind him and you're left alone with Chigiri.

This is...

Awkward.

To say the least. But you can't find it within yourself to care about the uncomfortable tension in the room when you see the expression on Chigiri's face. He's clutching the roots of his bright red hair and sweat drips down his face with clumped drops down his chin. He's mumbling something—you can't quite make out what he's actually saying, though.

But you can see the way his grip is tightening and he looks like he might actually start to spiral if you don't do anything. You quickly grab onto his fair-skinned palms and remove them from his hair before he pulls it out, "Chigiri."

He doesn't reply, head still hanging low.

Fuck.

You know that expression he's making all too well.

You hate that expression, because each and every time you looked in the mirror, you would see it.

Painted on your face—like life itself was taunting you. And now, it's found its way back to you once more, through the husk of Chigiri Hyoma.

"Chigiri," you say, a little louder this time. You place his hands down on his lap and stand in front of him. He still doesn't react. You're sure it's not just sweat that's running down his face now, but rather, tears that seep out of his eyelids as well.

You clench your jaw. Hard. You think you may crack it. You don't want to see that expression anymore. Ever. On you, or anyone. It makes your chest ache familiarly, and it brings back so many memories you wish to forget.

"Hyoma." Your hands slide onto his face, cupping his cheeks roughly in your palms and forcibly tugging his face upwards. "Don't..." You swallow thickly, voice cracking, "Don't make that face... please."

I don't want to see you like that. 

I don't want to see myself in you ever again.

His lips are shaking and his eyes are glossy and prickling with tears, yet, they stop falling down his cheeks when you reach your thumb up and swipe them away, eyes soft, "I promise... you... you will be fine."

Comforting people has never been your strong suit, and you're absolutely terrible with words. You don't know what to say to him. You know what you didn't want to hear when you were left to quit—but truly, what did you wish to be said to you?

You don't know. 

That's why you're silent as Chigiri looks into your eyes, glossy with tears and filled with so much pain it overwhelms you. 

You have to tear your eyes away before it actually kills you.

You can't say anything to Chigiri. You don't know what to say. For as long as you can remember, it's always been like this.

So, you decide to express your care for him in the only other way you know how. Forgotten about what you truly brought him here for, you lean down and you press your lips against him.

You can feel the flutter of his lashes against your cheek and he sobs into your mouth—but you don't mind. You wish to wipe away the crystalline tears that clump against his long lower lashes, and you wish to wipe such an expression off his pretty features just as you wished somebody would do so for you.

That expression doesn't fit him.

The kiss is not fiery, nor does it tickle warmth in your belly. It doesn't make your heart pound in your chest, nor do you feel love seeping out of it like molten honey—you can only feel the love of somebody who truly, genuinely, and deeply cares.

Not romantic, familial, or even friendly, it's just pure, genuine love that you wish to spread with the world.

I want to love the world again.

I want to love myself again.

You feel tears of your own gather in the corner of your eyes, but you use all of your willpower to not let them fall. Despite this, a singular one trickles down your cheek and drips down your chin, falling on his bare thigh and snapping Chigiri out of whatever trance he was in.

He pulls his head back, shiny hair falling over his shoulder and his eyes blare with tears once again when he sees the expression on your face. "[name]..." He says your name, so broken and so softly it causes your heart to crack.

You don't pull back when he wraps his arms around you, speaking so much more than words could ever hope to say—and in that moment, he knows that you just know.

You've always known—and that was a blessing to somebody like Chigiri Hyoma when the words get stuck in his throat like cotton—you wrap your arms around his chest and dig your fingertips into his shirt because you just know.

Chigiri rests his nose in the dip of your neck and closes his eyes.

If I ever dream of falling in love...

He presses an open-mouthed kiss to the crook of your neck, and digs his nose a little deeper, digs his hands a little firmer into you when his heart fills with love.

It will always be you.

*⋆｡˚𖦹࣪˖ ִֶָ⋆｡°✩

You sit beside Chigiri, thigh against his and hands resting in front of you—clutched around your phone. "This... is what the score is now."

3 — 3. Shidou scored another show-stopping goal, and Barou scored such an amazingly hyped goal he actually ended up taking his shirt off—something that makes you laugh when he's presented with a yellow card.

Leaning against Chigiri's side, you realise just how much of the game you've missed. You spent time checking up and making sure there was nothing wrong with his leg, especially where he tore it previously, and after that, just sat silently for a while, enjoying his company.

Then, you remembered how this entire match was probably being broadcast live somewhere on YouTube—low and behold, you were right. So now, after catching yourselves up with the scoreboard, you two were watching for the last goal.

"That's Rin...?" Chigiri's gloved hand is pointed at a figure down on the field. If you squint hard enough, you can catch the number 10 on his shirt.

"Yeah... He's sticking his tongue out." You're not too sure why Rin is doing so—but he's definitely not off his game, in fact, he seems to be even more on his game than ever.

He swerves past Neru, and Darai, and even causes Niou to tumble to the ground with what looks like minimal difficulty—moving around all over the place without even glancing away from the goal he was aiming for.

Chigiri winces, nose scrunched up and lips pulled downwards, "What a destructive style. Is that even Rin?"

It doesn't even look like the Rin Itoshi you're so used to anymore. His eyes are blown wide and filled with absolute hate, and he's swerving around all over the place—such a contrast to his usual efficient, fast style of play—to even his puppet-master style that was so prevalent—right now, you believe Rin Itoshi is another entity completely.

You find yourself zeroing in on Rin alone on the field, eyes following his movements with awe, You were hiding this all this time... You clasp a hand over your mouth. "Rin... is always full of surprises."

He's met face-to-face with the last rival that made up of the U-20's Iron Wall Quartet—Aiku. The last line of defence before the goalkeeper—Aiku grins and readies himself for Rin's new, strange destructive style.

"You can say that again," Chigiri lets out a heavy sigh, leaning his head onto yours from the side. However, you can hardly even feel it.

He's drooling, you think. There's less than thirty metres from where Rin stands from the goal—he could easily make it from here if only Aiku wasn't such a talented defender. Rin runs forward—charging in—when Shidou pops up out of nowhere and roughly grabs onto the striker's arm, eyes just as blown wide and intense as Rin's are.

They're both dripping with sweat—you can just envision your laundry duties today—Isagi runs past and screams for Rin to pass, because there's no way he's winning a two-on-one, but as expected, Rin doesn't even glance away from the goal. He winds his foot up to shoot—it ends up being a feint to throw off Aiku, and not wasting a second, he shoots for real this time.

Aiku manages to jump up to throw off its course but does not stop it completely—the ball rebounds off the goalpost and falls all the way into the hands of...

Your breath gets caught in your throat when Sae manages to catch the ball on the edge of his shoe. There's one last minute. If this ends in a tie... 

You're not too sure what will happen.

You chew down on the inside of your cheek. This is so intense... my stomach hurts. As soon as Sae takes possession of the ball, Shidou bolts down the field again, faster than you've ever seen him despite his exhaustion, and if you listen hard enough, you can hear the ever-so-familiar screams of Raichi Jingo in the background.

Sae manages to dribble past not just Isagi, but Barou, and even Nagi as well, only pausing in his movements when he's finally back face-to-face with his sweet, drooling, little brother.

The final matchup of the game... This feels so fitting. 

But...Sae... isn't even sweating.

You feel the anxiety churning in your stomach as Rin and Sae run down the midfield alongside each other. Rin can't hold a candle to the swift movements of his elder brother—but he can swarm along his side enough to be a pest, and that's all Rin needs to do. Usually, Rin would be the more logical opponent in a matchup... but now, Sae's the only one thinking, and Rin's not even thinking about his movements—he just wants the ball.

It comes to a point where the ball rebounds off of Rin's foot and flies away from both of them—for the first time in this match, you see Sae's eyes widen in shock, it seems even he couldn't predict what this Rin would do—and you can hardly see where it flies from all the people.

But you catch it. You're sure you catch it before Chigiri does—with the expression plastered on his face right now. 

There, in the midst of the wide-eyed crowd, stands the greedy egoist, Isagi Yoichi.

Isagi...

He winds his leg up as soon as the ball falls right in front of him.

The final piece was luck. Pure luck.

Your chest feels tight, and you can hardly breathe. This is all he needed. Luck. And I...

* "You were so talented, [name]," She sighed, eyes sunken downwards and lips pulled into a taut frown against her wrinkled face. "You could've done so much more. It's too bad fate had it out for you."

* She clears her throat. "Well then. Goodbye, [name]. I do hope you achieve what you want in life. It's too bad that it won't be soccer.

I believed it was fate that led to everything that's happened in my life... but it was just luck. It was only luck that I happened to be there, in the wrong place, at the wrong time...

And I can't do anything about it.

But strangely...

Your chest is slowly unweaving itself from the knots that sew it together, stitched in so long ago.

I'm not angry... not one bit. I feel...

* "You were so talented, [name]," She sighed, eyes sunken downwards and lips pulled into a taut frown against her wrinkled face. "You could've done so much more. It's too bad fate had it out for you."

I feel free.

...

The goalkeeper couldn't possibly stop the pure speed and power that Isagi shot with. You don't think anyone could ever dream of stopping it. 

With this goal... You can practically envision yourself as Isagi, in this moment. You don't even notice the way your eyes begin to water and sobs wrack from your throat.

I'll... finally let go of soccer.

I'll find something else that I will love...

... someone else...

and I will free myself.

I won't ever play again...

Isagi screams loud in joy, chest heaving and pupils blown wide when practically everyone crashes into him, and Chigiri says something with a breathy tone—but you don't even notice it. All you can look at is the look on Isagi's face—the joy of scoring the most incredible, winning goal.

And strangely...

I think I'm okay with that.

Tears freely flow out of your squinted eyes like a waterfall and drip down to your phone, coating the bright, pixelated screen. A hiccup rips itself from your throat and you have to cover your mouth to muffle your sobs.

I can't remember the last time I cried like this... it was probably when I quit soccer...

What irony.

Even so, despite the tears, you're smiling. You're smiling so wide your cheeks hurt and lips burn—but you can't stop. Then, you laugh. A joyous, cheerful sound that sounds so strange considering the waterfall freely falling through your lower lashes—you don't even care about the concerned look Chigiri gives you.

No, you can't find it within yourself to care, because this is your salvation.

Isagi...

Thank you...

For helping me let go of soccer.

You feel so free.

*⋆｡˚𖦹࣪˖ ִֶָ⋆｡°✩

* 52 — THE DEMON AND THE GENIUS

note: i literally teared up while writing that this story has been such a big part of my life and I've worked so hard on it and this payoff feels so good you guys actually have no idea. im so emotional about this rn

also I've decided this is the chapter chigiri like... falls in love?? idk how to explain it like obviously he liked you a lot before as well but now it's so much deeper and vivid and UGHGHHGGHB

im so happy with how you and isagis relationship ended up like. i genuinely believe in this story youre actually soulmates (it doesn't even have to be romantic) he's just helped you so much, even unknowingly, with your life and everything and it's so clear how much you care for him and IM SICKKK ur the cutest in the whole world and you're just so UGHHGHBDFHSD

i love u guys.