🎱. . .CHAPTER 43 ! -----
( real life . . . )
❛ i'm not yours ❜

ᵣₑₐₗ ₗᵢfₑ !

Chris looks up at the ceiling above his head, his brunette waves slightly covering his eyes. he listens to mason and nick chuckle at their phones, trying to tune them out since he doesn't feel like talking to anybody right now. chris is assuming that it's about him based on the fact that his friends keep looking at him, then exchanging glances with each other, repeating the actions multiple times.

he huffs, deeply hating the fact that it seems like nothing is going to help him get mikayla back. chris repeatedly turns his phone on, waiting for mikayla to text him up rather than leave him on opened, but still nothing. now all he can think about is the conversation he had with nate yesterday.

It's only seconds later that he realizes nathan's now in the kitchen with him, the two of them alone after almost two hours of them being around everyone else. honestly, chris has been avoiding a setting like this since he's trying to avoid nate confronting him over the weak excuse he made with mikayla.

but throughout the whole movie, nathan was shooting chris glares, clearly irritated about something. "hey man," chris speaks up, breaking the silence then taking a sip of his canned pepsi.

          nate clears his throat, resting his hand on the marble kitchen counter. "can we talk, it's important," he says, not giving away whether it's positive or negative with his tone of voice.

chris feels a pit in his stomach, slowly setting his drink down and deeply hoping that this conversation isn't going to be about what he thinks it is. he leans on the kitchen counter, mentally preparing for this. "yeah, what's up?" chris hesitantly questions with a blank expression across his face.

"i know something's going on between you and mikayla," nathan acknowledges the change in behavior between chris and his sister, watching as chris nervously chews on his bottom lip. "it's gotta stop dude. i mean it, you need to back off," he grumbles, watching as the small smile on chris' face fades.

"i—" chris pauses, not knowing exactly how to reply to this. he's been caught out and he thinks that if he even attempts to deny the truth, nate will know he's lying. he glances around his surroundings to try and avoid making eye contact with nate. "uh..." he utters, awkwardly chuckling to avoid escalating the tension.

nathan takes a step towards chris, thickly swallowing with a crease between his eyebrow. "dude, you don't have to deny it. just back off, i mean it chris," he puts extra emphasis on his words, a sharp tone. "you need to end whatever's going on, because i know you're gonna hurt her in the long run."

        

        
          Chris feels immense regret wash over him as he continues to stare at the ceiling, his mind burdening with possibilities in what could've happened between himself and mikayla if he told nathan the truth.

          he leans up slightly, using his hands to move his hair out of his face while he examines his surroundings, noticing how mason and nick are finally asleep. he groans quietly at mason's obnoxious snoring, lifting the blanket off of him before placing both his feet on the floor. taking a look at the alarm clock next to him, he realizes it's only two am, of course.

          if you've been filming youtube videos with a stupid time schedule, it's harder to stay awake and fall asleep when you'd want to — chris is confused how nick is in a peaceful slumber. he's craving a pepsi as always, standing up and treading lightly on the creaking floorboards that are ridiculously loud.

          he sneaks a quick glance at his mason and nick before opening the door, leaving it a tad bit open so he can enter easily after getting his drink. maybe another reason why he hasn't been sleeping ideally is because of mikayla.

          he feels guilty. he feels guilty that he didn't fight for it. he feels guilty that throughout the whole relationship with talia, he didn't stand up for mikayla. it's idiotic to him that something like this has taken so long to understand, but chris can't lie and say he's good when it comes to stuff like this.

          as he makes his way down the wooden staircase, passing by the walls adorned with maria's family pictures, he hears a few noises coming from the kitchen. chris furrows his eyebrows, a perplexed expression on his face before he reaches the ground floor. he pauses in his steps for a moment, manifesting that it isn't nate.

          chris clears his throat, entering the kitchen and he instantly pauses again. he notices how it's mikayla, and he's thanking the universe in his head. she looks up from her chopping board, not dropping the knife that she'd been using to chop up some apples, and chris would be lying if he said he isn't scared.

          "...hey," he mumbles, awkwardly strolling to the fridge. she doesn't say anything back, instead continuing to cut herself some apple slices. chris wants to say something else, staring at her and the way she's easily ignoring him.

          miks looks up at chris, clicking her tongue. "stop judging me. i'm just hungry," she utters, turning her attention back to the fresh fruit.

          "not judging you," chris states before opening the fridge. of course he brought a few cans of pepsi with him, taking an ice-cold drink out. an expected silence falls over them and chris leans against the kitchen counter.

          he feels the tension between them, the only noise being the sound of the knife hitting the counter. miks places the utensil down, adjusting her tank top and chris just watches. he just watches the way she looks when she's doing absolutely nothing, admiring her even.

          "what are you looking at chris?" she questions without even looking at him. mikayla frustratedly slams her knife back down, a loud huff of frustration leaving her lips. "you can't look at me like that." chris scoffs, taking a sip of his canned soda before placing it down on the marble counter. "i mean," mikayla pauses and he knows she's about to word vomit all of her emotions. "you ask to be friends, but now you're staring at me in a way," she stops to put her fingers up for air quotations. "friends don't."

          he knows that she's right so chris doesn't even feel like saying anything because he's aware of the fact that whatever he replies with, mikayla will know he's lying. "are you gonna stand there like an idiot, or say something?" she sternly questions.

          "i miss you mikayla," he blabbers out, followed by a sigh and her expression quickly softens at his words. chris is just choosing to speak his mind, hoping that it'll be enough to help mikayla understand. he doesn't want to lose her. he can't lose her. in his life currently, mikayla doe is one of the most important people right now, and he misses her more than she'll know.

          mikayla slowly shakes her head, dropping it at the same time. chris is practically on the edge of his seat waiting for mikayla to say something. he's hoping it'll be along the lines of 'i miss you too chris', but that's only if he's lucky. he repeatedly blinks, hoping that she won't be too harsh on him.

          "i'm not yours to miss anymore, christopher," miks sighs, biting on the inside of her cheek. her gaze is glued to the kitchen counter, then shifting to the triplet next to her. "i'm not yours," she repeats, this time even quieter and it just emphasizes how much she really means it.

          chris feels his heartbeat rapidly speed up because that was the answer he really didn't want to hear. he's fighting the urge to frown, biting his tongue to avoid saying anything else. he blames nate. he blames talia. he even blames himself, which is something chris isn't used to. now chris is wishing that he stood up for the relationship between him and miks to nate yesterday.

          "goodnight chris," she says, placing the apple slices on the plate before leaving chris in the kitchen with his thoughts.

          he feels alone, more than he has in a while.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ arianna speaks ¡
this is so sad i might cry (me laughing to myself writing all of this)
triple update????????????????????????????
(only because i'm taking a small break from this story to work on my others + also balance my job 💘)