🎱. . .CHAPTER 54 ! -----
( real life . . . messages . . . )
❛ i just want you now ❜

ᵣₑₐₗ ₗᵢfₑ !

          For chris, the weeks have been passing by slowly and it's now the evening of the winter formal. having to hear about mikayla and noah only becoming closer also isn't helping him as well as the fact that he can't go through a whole day without her brushing his mind—chris' mood just deflates each second.

he silently sighs, concealing his body underneath his blanket and he has no intention of leaving this bed, even with the suit calling his name from inside of his closet.

chris hears his door creak open, but he just ignores it and hopes that whoever it is will get the hint and go away. however, the sound of approaching footsteps against his floorboards starts to irritate him since he just wants be alone right now. he huffs and the bed dips with someone's added weight.

"chris," matt's soft voice fills his ears and it's clear his brother knows that he's in no mood to exit his bedroom tonight. chris feels matt's hand on his concealed shoulder, shaking it slightly. "kid we're about to go, can you get up and talk to me."

chris doesn't want to ignore his brother, he doesn't want to let his bitter attitude be the cause of being a dick towards his brother, so he slowly pulls the blanket off of his head, peeking out from it. he looks at matt in his black suit, probably matching maria, with a pink polo shirt.

"i'm not leaving my room today," chris mumbles, pulling the blanket back over his head. he just wanted to show that he isn't trying to ignore his brother.

he listens to matt sigh and stand up, choosing to remain under his blanket. the sound of retreating footsteps makes his heart sink slightly, but he just isn't motivated to do anything right now, only imagining how happy mikayla must be right now.

Mikayla frowns as she sits at the vanity in lucille's room while applying lip liner. she's happy to be going to the dance with her friends as well as a date, but she just wishes that it was with someone else. music blares through lucille's bedroom and mikayla places the lip liner lid back on her desk, staring at her reflection.

she tunes out the music as well as maria and lucille's conversation, brushing her brunette hair behind her ear. after the amount of preparation she did to enjoy this dance, she just wishes that she's looking forward to it. see, noah didn't even offer her a ride, in fact, he hasn't even texted her saying anything and she hopes that he's not trying to stand her up.

the music suddenly stops and mikayla's snapped back to the harsh reality that is her life since a silent enters the room and it only reminds her about chris. she wants to facepalm herself since this isn't the only time something small has happened that led her to a bunch of memories crashing back.

"we look so good," maria squeals, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. she practically skips to where mikayla's sat, crouching slightly to use the mirror so she can fix her updo, but mikayla's mood is clearly not the best. "what's wrong miks?"

mikayla shrugs, adjusting her dress. "i just—i...noah's been acting weird," she mutters, refusing to admit how she misses chris. miks slouches slightly, standing up from her seated position on the chair. "he said he would pick me up, but no text," she switches on her phone, noticing how he hasn't replied.

          miks wonders if she's the reason why chris isn't coming to the dance, whether it's because of her or nate, she knows that she's a part of it.

          for the weeks leading up to today, chris hasn't really spoken to her much. they've exchanged a few casual words but that's about it, especially whenever nathan's around. she hasn't had a conversation with nate about chris in a while, so she feels like them not talking isn't totally negative.

          she just wants everything to be different, hating how quickly their behavior towards each other changes. one minute chris will be staring at mikayla, his eyes sparkling with adoration, then the next, he won't even look in her direction.

          mikayla doesn't blame chris for everything though, she knows she's made some mistakes. like not giving him the proper opportunity to explain what happened on her birthday, giving up and going to the dance with noah. but she's going to do everything she can to make sure she has a good time tonight.

          "fuck noah," lucille says from her comfortable bed, leaning slightly to slide on her heels. "just ride with us and matt, he's probably just running late," she offers a reassuring smile to mikayla and she returns the gesture.

          lucille looks at maria quickly, going unnoticed by mikayla, and she picks up her phone knowing exactly who she needs to text.

ₘₑₛₛₐgₑₛ !

( LUCILLE & CHRIS ! )
( lucy🫡 & chris🙄 )

lucy🫡
dude u need to cut the shit and come to the dance
we've had this convo so many times
please chris
she needs u
read

ᵣₑₐₗ ₗᵢfₑ !

The entire friend group—except for chris—enter the gym with pop music blaring through it, their eyes meeting the numerous winter decorations such as hanging snowflakes and balloons.

maria's hand in hand with matt at the front of the group while mason keeps his arm around lucille from behind them. mikayla walks with nick, noah nowhere in sight even despite him asking her to this stupid formal.

she sighs, trying to force a smile as she passes by her fellow students while the group all make their way to a surprisingly empty circular table. mikayla sighs, pulling out the seat and immediately plopping down onto it. there's an enthusiastic smile on her face as she squints, trying to see if her date is in the crowd.

          as for everyone else, maria drags matt onto the dance floor by force so now it's just nick, mikayla, lucille and mason.

          with the bored expression plastered across nick's face, it shows that he'd rather by anywhere else but here. mikayla used to think differently, but now she just agrees and she has a strong feeling of humiliation after telling her friends that she had a date, who is nowhere to be found.

          mikayla feels a comforting hand on her thigh, looking up at lucille sitting next to her. she gives her friend a reassuring smile, not wanting to try and ruin everyone's night with her moody attitude.

          "we're gonna go get a drink," lucille yells over the music. "do you wanna come?" she asks but mikayla quickly shakes her head, knowing that she'll probably irritate her friends, plus, she doesn't really feel like moving until she sees her date.

          mason and lucille stand up, walking and disappearing into the crowd as they make their way to where the drinks are being served.

          mikayla and nick sit together, conversing about random topics that come to mind with the fact that it's been almost an hour and noah still isn't here burdening her thoughts. she huffs, resting her chin on her propped up hand while watching her other friends dance together. miks adores how happy and carefree they look, not having to worry about anything.

          nick glances at them, then back at mikayla, wondering how different things would be if chris was here. "hey miks," he calls out her name, speaking as loud as he possibly can over the music. "i'm gonna go, are you coming?" he points at their friends.

          miks contemplates for a couple seconds, dropping her hand to the table. she purses her lips, before deciding that she'd much rather sit where she is for the rest of the night. "i'm good," she forces a grin and nick slowly nods his head.

          she watches as he straightens out his suit, squeezing between the gaps left by the other students until she's left by herself. mikayla typically enjoys her own company, just not when she's surrounded by other students and especially under these circumstances.

          there's this feeling she has in the pit of her stomach that everybody is talking about how embarrassed she must be, as if every time someone laughs, it's because of her. miks wonders if it would be like this if chris was here, especially because nate said he'd be arriving later.

          mikayla rotates her body slightly, her eyes glued to the entrance that everybody is appearing from. however, her heart drops once she sees noah with a random girl. his arm is around her and miks feels humiliated.

          she pushes her chair out from underneath the table, almost storming over to him but ensuring that she won't trip in these heels she's wearing. miks notices how he seems to be stumbling around like he's already drunk.

          mikayla finds her way through the crowd of people until she's right in front of him, her hands tightly balled into fists. she's frustrated that she waited this long for noah, feeling embarrassed that she's spent most of the night alone.

          noah pauses in his steps, tilting his head at the sight of mikayla and the death glare he's receiving from her. miks doesn't even recognize the girl he has his arm around, her eyes jumping from her face to his.

          "what the fuck," miks seethes, folding her arms. "you...you literally stood me up?" the words leave her mouth and she lets out a scoff of disbelief. "dick move, noah," she takes a deep breath, waiting for him to reply.

          "fuck mikayla," noah awkwardly chuckles, pulling the girl closer to him. "stop acting bitchy and enjoy the dance," he grins widely but mikayla's just absolutely speechless right now.

          mikayla slowly shakes her head, anger bubbling inside of her. she needs to get out of the gym immediately and go somewhere, anywhere that's as far away from here as possible. miks isn't sure why noah's suddenly changed after they've had weeks of spending time with each other, but she doesn't have the effort to question it.

          "fuck. you," miks harshly says, pushing past him. she finds her way to the empty corridor, listening to the music she can still hear from her location as well as her heels clicking.

           she hates this feeling. she hates how she had to let chris go. she hates how he has such a hold on her. she hates how embarrassed she feels right now. she just hates everything, wanting to get away from everyone.

          mikayla finds her way to the school exit, pausing once she realizes it's raining, but the horrible weather isn't about to stop her so she just sharply inhales, pushing the doors open.

          mikayla carefully treads down the staircase, her hand on the railing as she tries her best to ignore the droplets of rain falling into her exposed skin. she also ignores the fact that her dress is dragging across the concrete floor once she reaches the bottom of the staircase.

she leans against the metal railing, tears fighting to stream down her face while pulling her phone out of her pocket to try and call an uber. but just as she opens the app, she hears a car door open then close behind her.

"mikayla?" a familiar voice calls out and miks immediately whips around, locking eyes with christopher sturniolo.

she freezes at the sight of him in a light blue suit and yellow tie. her first thought is where he got it from, then wondering what the hell he's doing here after saying multiple times that he wasn't coming.

"you..." she trails off, realization that chris is here slowly hitting her. mikayla watches his every move as he walks towards her, his wet hair sticking to his forehead. "you're here?" she finally finishes her question and her face falters.

she feels like she's going absolutely insane with how close they now are since it's been a while. her lips part to try and find the right words jumbled in her brain, but the shock that chris actually came is stopping her from speaking.

he awkwardly presses his lips together, swallowing thickly. "yeah..." she tries to read the expression on his face but her eyes just jump between his blue ones, waiting for him to continue talking. "i—uh, i just felt like coming. where's your date?" he questions, looking around noticing how noah is nowhere in sight.

mikayla dryly chuckles, her gaze falling to the ground. "probably flirting with a bunch of other girls," she mumbles, looking back up at him and the sympathetic expression across his face.

silence falls over the two of them and mikayla listens to the sound of the rain hitting the ground. she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, ignoring the lip liner since her makeup is already messed up because of the weather.

"i'm sorry," he says, offering a small but warm smile. mikayla feels her heart skip a beat at his words and his sympathy.

mikayla glances between his eyes, not able to read his expression easily so she's using his words to figure out how he feels. "for what? i'm the one who said yes to noah, it's literally—"

chris sighs. he fucking sighs, and mikayla just stops talking in hope that chris is about to give her the honest conversation she's been wanting for weeks. she pushes her wet hair behind her ear, her eyes jumping to their surroundings to avoid making any eye contact with chris, hating how easily it makes her flustered.

"no miks," chris cuts her off intentionally, hating how she assumes he's talking about noah. "i'm apologizing to you, mikayla," chris pauses for a moment and he watches as mikayla's face softens at his words. "i'm sorry for how easily i gave up with us after sending that text. i'm sorry that i treated you a certain type of way. i'm sorry that i ignore you or switch up on you suddenly. i'm fucking sorry for everything," he doesn't miss a beat with his rant.

mikayla's lips part as she wants to say something about how vulnerable he seems to be right now. her nose scrunches at the rain becoming heavier each second, excessively swallowing her nerves. "you came all the way here, to say sorry?" she's slightly in awe at his determination.

chris slowly nods his head. "i just—" he pauses. "i can't pretend that i don't think about you every second of every day. i thought it was obvious how strong my feelings were towards you but i guess not," he pauses again. "you don't understand how much it fucking pissed me off when i heard you was going to the dance with noah. you really don't and i take a little bit of blame for it," chris watches as the crease between mikayla's eyebrows soften, showing how his words mean a lot to her, however, he still isn't finished. "no matter whatever that text said, i don't want to stay friends. staying friends with you is the shittiest thing i've ever experienced mikayla."

"chris i—" she's in so much shock that she doesn't know how to reply to him. chris seems to be so vulnerable when it comes to her and she admires that about him. "i wanted to tell you how long i've felt, for so long. for so fucking long," she repeats. "i'm just scared chris."

he tilts his head slightly at her last sentence, his eyebrows furrowing. "you're...scared? what's scary?" he questions, confused.

"the thing i feel whenever we're together," she says, just a little quieter than her previous words. "i don't understand it or where it came from and the thought of us together literally never leaves my mind. it stresses me out how much i miss it—us," mikayla corrects herself. "you make me feel something, chris. i don't know what it is, and that scares me. you don't understand how much it genuinely hurts me seeing you with other girls. how much it hurt me when you kissed talia, where we shared such a special moment that i'm never not thinking about," mikayla takes a deep breath and she watches the nervous expression on chris' face. "you really don't understand how much receiving that text hurt. i wanted things to work between us so bad so i wouldn't lose that feeling i get whenever we're close together because after that text i felt like i couldn't...i just couldn't."

chris knows that it's wrong to expose the conversation he had with nathan, but it's the right thing to do. "nate practically told me i should stay away from you mikayla," he admits and she groans quietly. "why would i switch up on you without an explanation? because i had to since nate told me that. i respect him but he's your older brother too, not just my best friend, so i did what i had to do."

"you could've told me that," mikayla folds her arms, slightly happy that chris wasn't totally behind that text. "you could've just reassured me that you didn't give up on us purposely, but instead you just let me think that you wanted to stay friends."

"and i'm sorry for that," chris apologizes again and mikayla falls silent. "but i don't want to be your friend, ever again miks. i want to be more, and i've already told you that," chris refers to that one day where they filmed a video for her channel. "i don't want to let nate get in the way of us because he doesn't understand the hold you have on me miks. it's you and it's always been you," he inhales sharply. "i said i'd wait for you mikayla, but i can't wait anymore. i just want you now."

"i want you chris, but what are we actually supposed to do now?" mikayla asks, followed by a sigh since she has no idea what the next step is between them. "i just want you to show me how much you actually want me, because your actions are always saying something totally different."

as the rain only becomes even heavier, chris slowly moves his hand to cup mikayla's jaw. she flinches at his sudden touch, not in a negative way, she's just immensely missed how good it makes her feel inside.

"...can i kiss you?" chris questions as if they've never done it before, and mikayla nods her head slowly. she's missed this so much so she doesn't even have to think twice before saying yes.

chris lowers his head slightly, moving his face closer to mikayla's so that their lips are just grazing over each other's. she pauses until chris finally closes the distance between them and she can't put into words how joyful she feels right now. the movements are natural and the rain falling on them just adds such an authentic touch.

mikayla's hands find their way to the back of chris' head, holding his wet hair between her fingertips. chris keeps one of his hands on mikayla's jaw while the other makes its way to her waist. he pulls her closer to him, not breaking away from each other.

that's until mikayla pulls away first, looking up at him through her lashes. "if you want me, i'm yours chris," she smiles and chris grins widely, closing the distance between them again.

now this is the feeling that mikayla's been missing. she isn't even worrying about nate, because this is where she's supposed to be and who she's supposed to be with. finally, she's received that reassurance she's been waiting for.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ arianna speaks ¡
AND WITH THAT....the angst is OVER❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️(i think?)
i might cry i love them so bad

i've so been waiting for this moment
FINALLY