Everything was blank in Steph's mind as she slowly walked home, not bothering to hop on the back of Bill's bike and have him take her home. Instead, she kept putting one foot in front of the other as she kept her head down; she felt as though it wouldn't be a good idea to look up and make eye contact with the boy who was slowly walking beside her, since Bill refused to leave her alone after what had happened. Besides, he had offered to clean and bandage the slash wounds on her arm, and she had to allow it.

Her upper arm barely hurt anymore, and it had become numb and she was still bleeding; however, she didn't really acknowledge it, since everything else that she felt was overpowering the physical pain. And, to be honest, that was far worse.

Steph's heart had hollowed out and a hole had slowly begun to form there when her friends betrayed her, Beverly, and Bill. It made her feel sick. She thought she was going to throw up again, but she had to fight the urge once more, despite feeling as though she weren't able to breathe at all. She would rather have been killed by that clown than have almost every one of her friends turning their backs to her and simply walking away. It was gut wrenching and her heart was now shattered.

There was a massive weight on her shoulders, which caused the slow stride down the sidewalk and she tried her best not to cry again. No tears arrived, much to her slight surprise, and her face was a blank slate. All that went through her mind was how angry she was, and she could no longer take it, since it had grown to be way too much for her to handle. She suddenly wished that Beverly hadn't gone home and that she had stayed with her and Bill so they could possibly work this out and figure out a way. But there really wasn't a purpose for that anymore.

She still recalled what Bill had told her and the redhead earlier when they had taken her home... that Richie may have been right after all... that they wouldn't be able to defeat It... that they should just give up....

And maybe Bill was right.

Steph wanted to be dead; she wanted to sacrifice herself for her loved ones and friends. And she would only do that if she protected them. She honestly didn't care if she were to die before the end of the summer anymore.

She couldn't even look at Bill. Everything that had occurred around them had caused her to become emotionally distant from him, and she wasn't talking to him. Not even when Beverly was around was she speaking to him. Hell, she wasn't even talking to either of them. Not only had Steph gotten herself hurt because of her idiotic decisions, she had almost gotten her friends killed in the process of helping a boy that she liked hunt down a demonic clown that fed on the fear of children.

Boy, was Steph's crush on Bill a horror movie within itself sometimes.

Was she ashamed of liking him in a romantic way? Of fucking course she wasn't.

God, she was a dumbass.

Probably had something to do with her being a blonde. At least, that's what she thought.

But her pure happiness because of all of the friendships that she had was diminished greatly by what had happened. Everything had been ruined. It was over. All that Steph could do now was attempt to protect Justin and Amber, and try to keep them alive. She had no more confidence in herself, however, and she would fail before she could even get the chance to guard them from her own personal nightmare. She would most certainly die before the end of the summer.

"Steph...?"

The blonde hummed in reply, not really speaking to him... not looking at him, even. It broke the poor boy's heart even more now that he realized that she was shutting him out. In fact, she was shutting everyone out, and he knew it was partially his fault... maybe even completely his fault. He wasn't angry with her, though, since he understood how she felt. He had been in her shoes once before, when his little brother had vanished and even possibly died.

Richie was probably right after all. Georgie may have died and had most likely died on that inevitable day in October.

No, don't think that, you idiot, he scolded himself, shaking his head a little bit. He's not dead, only missing.

"Do... Duh-Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her timidly, his hands shaking where they were resting on the handlebars of his bike. They were just a block away from Steph's house now. "I w-w-want to help in any way I can... juh-juh like you helped me m-m-m-months ago."

"Yeah, well nothing that you do is going to help," Steph said blankly, rolling her eyes a little bit. "Especially after you getting the others and I in this whole situation."

Bill was visibly taken aback and a little agitated at what Steph had just said to him, and his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Huh-Hold on, that was your plan!" he retorted irritatedly, scoffing a little bit. "I n-never wanted you to g-guh-go with me in the first place, but you wanted to. I did everything I-I-I could to keep you safe. Why are you so pissed at me out of nowhere?!"

"Probably because you punched Richie all because he was telling the truth, even if I'm pissed at him, too!" Steph shouted back, throwing her hands up in anger. "Probably because both you and I risked the lives of all of our friends in that fucking house, which I would have regretted immensely! Probably because you can't get it through your thick skull that Georgie is most likely dead! I'm sorry, Bill, but Richie was right! I'm tired of lying to you and promising things that I'll never fulfill. If Georgie is alive and we do find him, then great! That would be wonderful! But I highly doubt that's going to happen anymore! Okay? I'm sorry... Finding your little brother is not my main priority anymore. Tell me this. Is your determination to find him more important than the people you love and care for...? The people that are still here... are they less important? My only duty now is keeping my surrogate kids safe, okay? It's fine if you're angry with me, but I don't want you to hate me because of this!"

Bill sighed, his expression of frustration softening a little bit, and he didn't say anything in reply. He had to admit that she was saying his thoughts out loud for him, so he wasn't as mad at her as he thought he might be. But the last sentence she had said kind of hurt him a little bit, and tears filled the corners of his eyes as he looked directly into hers. "I could never... e-ever hate you, Steph," he mumbled quietly. "The last thing I'd ever do is hate you. And yuh-you're not less important. I don't know why you would e-e-e-ever think that...."

Steph felt a tear falling down her cheek, and she harshly wiped it away, sniffing a little. "If you didn't hate me, you would have stayed in that kitchen with us instead of following It down into the fucking basement!" she replied, trying not to break down into sobs. "Why did you follow that thing?! I might care about you, but that doesn't let me deny the fact that you can be stupid! You're so stupid! You mean everything to me, Bill, everything! And I could have lost you before I told you--" She then shut up out of nowhere, her lips pressed into a thin line before she could blurt it out, and her eyes were comically wide with horror.

The boy in front of her was confused, tilting his head a little with interest as he squinted his eyes. "Tuh-Told me what?" he asked her with curiosity laced in his voice.

"Forget I ever said anything," Steph mumbled quickly, shaking her head and turning away out of pure embarrassment. The blush that slowly began forming on her face went all the way up to her ears. Why, oh why had she said that?! She had realized that she fucked up big time, so she attempted to ignore Bill and she kept walking, leaving him hanging on the words that had nearly slipped from her lips. But she was about to find out that Bill never learned to mind his own business, and it would make her slightly regret ever being friends with him.

"Nuh-No, what is it?" Bill pressed further, trying his hardest not to smile at how much Steph was blushing over a simple secret. "You c-c-can't ignore me fuh-forever, Steph. I want you to t-tell me!"

Steph sighed as she continued to walk, a slight limp in her step due to the cut in her leg from It. "What if I were to ignore you forever?" she questioned to test him, rolling her eyes as her hands transformed into fists out of pure irritation. "Besides, I don't think this is a good time to be bringing this up; it's ridiculous so just forget it."

Bill eventually caught up to her, shaking his head a little bit as he stood his ground. Every time Steph would make a move to walk around him, he would block her path whilst he looked at her, a serious look in his blue-green eyes now. "I'm not kidding anymore, Steph," he mumbled without stuttering. "Wuh-What could possibly be more ridiculous th-th-than a clown hunting down ch-children? I mean... o-o-our life has just become a huh-horror story by itself. What cuh-could be worse than that?"

The blonde girl stood up straight and crossed her arms in an attempt to look intimidating. "I'd like to see you use your imagination and then get back to me later," she quipped with narrowed eyes and a deadpanned smirk. She then successfully stepped around Bill and began walking away even quicker, but she let out a loud huff of anger when she heard him jogging after her.

"I-I'm not the best at using muh-my imagination," Bill admitted timidly.

"Bullshit," Steph retorted harshly, biting her tongue to prevent the secret from slipping out again.

"I-I-I'm really not!" Bill said in a slightly louder tone, looking right at Steph as he kept up to pace with her; he had to admit that she was the fastest person he had ever seen when it came to walking. "Well, muh-maybe when it comes to w-w-writing, but nuh-not with thinking of something."

"You're either the worst liar I've ever met or you're the biggest idiot in the entire world, Denbrough," Steph snapped back, sighing once more.

"I'm neither o-o-of those, actually. Come on," Bill pleaded. "Pluh-Please tell me–"

"I LIKE YOU!"

Bill froze in place the moment Steph screamed out the words and he stared at her in shock; he didn't know what she had said at first due to her voice being so ear-piercingly loud. But, once he processed what had come out of her mouth, his poor heart started skipping dozens of beats at a time and he looked down shyly. Now he was the one who was blushing, the red color spreading across every inch of his face. First off, he was reminded of how imposing his crush was, and it wasn't due to her physicality; it was because she had the ability to scare him with her voice whenever she got angry. But secondly, had she just said that she liked him?! Like, in that way?!

Yes, yes, she did.

His frustration over what had happened between himself and Richie suddenly vanished and was replaced by a billion different emotions at once. Well, not really, but there were several feelings that he couldn't comprehend. The first thing he felt was an overwhelming amount of happiness from finding out that the girl he had been pining over for the past month liked him back, then he felt incredibly stupid for not noticing the signs over that period of time: her blushing whenever he would compliment her, her staring in his direction in the Losers' clubhouse after the rock fight and casually looking away whenever he would notice, her constantly holding his hand whenever she felt as though it were the right thing to do, her genuine care for him (he couldn't forget the others in this category), and the whole fiasco.

Now he knew the signs, he noticed them, and it made him grin like an idiot. But he just needed to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"You... You luh-like me...?" he asked sheepishly, smiling like a child who had just received the best Christmas present ever. He hesitantly stepped closer to her, his hands shaking and sweating from pure nervousness. "I-I never thought that you wuh-would... I don't deserve a-a-any love after losing Georgie. At luh-least, that's what It th-th-thinks. And n-n-now I believe that I duh-don't deserve someone special like you..."

Steph stepped forward, looking at Bill with heartbreak and sympathy in her eyes. "No, please don't say that..." she begged, shaking her head slowly. "Just because you lost Georgie doesn't mean you don't deserve love.... That's just It putting bad thoughts in your mind, and it's been trying to do that with me. But I keep fighting back and I want you to fight. You're a fighter, Bill Denbrough, and I admire that about you and I want to be like you sometimes. And, yes... I like you. A lot. But I'm not special... I've never been special, but I appreciate the idea."

Bill frowned as he gently reached forward and took her hands into his, holding them delicately as his head swayed back and forth. "No..." he whispered. "You are special. I-I-I just wish that I had told you s-s-s-sooner. I was too scared to, th-though. Buh-But... I... I l-l-l-like you, t-too." His voice was trembling now and his stutter was more visible than ever, and his face was redder than it had ever been as he grew quiet. He slowly intertwined his fingers with Steph's once he saw that she was also shaking, and he heard her breath hitch, most likely from the touch.

"I know..." Steph admitted quietly, blushing even more now.

The boy looked into her eyes with an expression of surprise, and a soft chuckle escaped his lips for the first time in weeks. "Y-You knew?" he asked her teasingly, smirking a little bit.

Steph nodded shyly, smiling back and feeling slightly embarrassed. "Bill, if there's something I know, you're the most obvious person I've ever been around," she said confidently, giggling gently as she squeezed his hands in her fragile ones. "If I'm being fair, you're terrible at hiding secrets."

"A-A-And you're not?!" Bill replied playfully as he began to laugh. "Let's suh-see. Hmmm. You literally j-just blurted out that you h-huh-have feelings for me. I duh-don't think that was a-a-an attempt at hiding a s-s-s-secret."

"Oh, shush!" Steph burst out laughing, throwing her head back and her blonde hair bounced against her back. Little did she know that the sight of this took Bill's breath away.

"Nuh-Nope!" Bill taunted jokingly, letting go of Steph's hands and wrapping his arms around her. He shyly pulled her into a hug, the blush on his face rising to the tips of his ears as she placed her head on his chest and he could have sworn that she could hear his pounding heartbeat going a million miles an hour.

Steph giggled sweetly as her heart fluttered against her ribcage and she suddenly wanted to be closer to Bill. She pictured herself pulling back and looking deeply into his ocean-like eyes before selfishly pulling him in for a passionate kiss, smiling against his lips while doing so.

Instead, she just kept her head buried in Bill's chest as her heart began to sink, and the quietest sigh left her as she came to a realization. She didn't want to have to tell him this, since she didn't want to upset him more than he had been today, but she knew that she would be forced to. She needed to keep him safe, to protect him, and she wouldn't let selfish love prevent her from doing her duty. She would die for him and she would do that before risking being with him.

"I... I can't be your girlfriend, though..." she murmured timidly, frowning with fear as she buried her face deeper into Bill's chest.

"Wuh-What...?" Bill mumbled, his heart shattering as he pulled back to look down at her, staring deep into her vivid eyes. "Why, Steph?" A tear fell down his cheek as he began to cry for real that day. "I-I-I thought you were on board wuh-with liking me–"

"I am..." Steph cut him off, closing her eyes reluctantly. "I want nothing more than to be with you, Bill, but I need to keep you safe. It's not like I don't want to be with you. I can't be with you. What if we start dating and I lose you sometime soon to It? If I die for you, then you can live a long life and be happy. But, if you die... I'll forever feel like that's on me. And I'll never be able to live with myself. If I lose you, it's my fault and it will always be my fault."

Bill began to shake his head, his bottom lip quivering as he cupped her face in his hands. He wasn't doing it to take advantage of Steph; he was just doing it to comfort her and that was all. "St-Steph, please don't suh-say that–"

"But I'm going to say it!" Steph broke, jerking out of Bill's hold as she glared at him furiously. "You know very well you would say the same thing if you lost me or any of the others! I'm not stupid! I don't want to ever lose you, and I can't risk being with you! I'm so sorry... I just want to make sure you're happy and safe without me being a burden to you. I want to be with you... so, so bad, Bill! But I just can't! I don't want to be the reason you die, okay?! I'm sorry!"

The boy suddenly pulled her into another hug and Steph let it out completely; she sobbed hoarsely as she trembled in Bill's arms, not caring that they were out in the open where people could easily see them. He began softly shushing her to keep her solaced as he buried his face in her hair, rubbing her back soothingly. "Sh-Shh..." he murmured in the softest voice. "Don't cry, Steph... I-I-I understand, okay? It's o-okay, sweet girl. If you don't wuh-want to be together, that's okay... Puh-Please don't apologize." He cringed inwardly.... Maybe it wasn't a good idea to call her 'sweet girl' when they hadn't started dating yet. He had just said it out of nowhere and hoped that it would comfort her and he, shockingly, succeeded as the girl in his arms slowly began to calm down.

"For now..." Steph whispered, sniffing as she wiped her tears away and looked back into Bill's eyes. "I can't be with you for now... Maybe, when this is all over, we can go on a date. When this ends, we'll be able to hang out more... we'll be able to hold hands and proudly admit that we're together, and hold each other when we're upset–"

"A-And we'll be able t-t-tuh-to kiss, right...?" Bill asked shyly, blushing lightly again.

A beautiful giggle left the blonde girl as she nodded, smiling brightly once again and biting her bottom lip. "Yeah..." she replied sheepishly, looking down lightly. "And... we can kiss how much we want to. I'm not gonna give a shit what our friends say and how much they tease us. When I get the chance after this is over, I'll give you the best kiss you could ever ask for."

Bill let out a soft breath of shyness as the red color swarmed his face again, and he chuckled nervously while staring at Steph's gorgeous face. She was so beautiful, she was like an angel sent from Heaven to watch over him by God himself, and he would forever be grateful for that. He felt as though it were meant to be when she came into his life and befriended him, he had meant to save her from Bowers a couple of years ago, and he was always supposed to do it. He cared so much about her and was so gentle with her, and he would always be.

Then another thought ran through his mind, one that he couldn't avoid. "Are you f-f-fluh-flirting with me?" he pondered with a shy smile, knowing that it would make him happy that this timid girl was being confident toward him. Hell, it even made him want to kiss her right here and right now but he held himself back from going too far. He just opted for looking at her with an expression of admiration in his bright eyes, and he couldn't help but feel like he was slowly falling for her and that just made him pause with what he was doing.

Steph smiled back once she saw Bill's grin and she nodded slightly, holding his hands in hers again. "You can say that," she replied as she chuckled, finding the sight of the boy in front of her blushing really adorable. Then she winced as a sharp jab of pain in her upper arm brought her back to reality and she squeezed her eyes shut. "But we can't stand here forever. I'm gonna need some help with this before my mom gets back from work."

Bill let out a slight giggle while his head bobbed up and down and he let go of one of Steph's hands. "Yeah, I-I-I'll help you," he said kindly. "Let me just guh-get my bike and we'll go."

Steph nodded before turning and beginning to walk in the direction of her house, although slowly so that Bill could catch up to her on his bike since she hadn't brought hers. Every few seconds, she kept looking in all directions, feeling as though someone were watching her, that someone was following the two of them. She pictured the clown standing behind a tree and getting a good glimpse of her and Bill, stalking them until they grew uncomfortable. And, at that moment, with this thought in her powerful mind, she knew that her real life was over after that. Everything that she had been raised to believe had turned out to be a lie, and she was suffering through a real life nightmare.

The question was... would she ever be able to wake up?

_____

Steph hissed through her teeth when the peroxide ran over her slash wounds; luckily for her, they weren't too severe and she wouldn't have to get stitches for them, but it was still incredibly painful and they would leave scars. She felt like Nancy from A Nightmare on Elm Street except that it wasn't a movie. It was real life. That was a reason why it hurt a lot but not as much as she was expecting but, then again, she was trying not to show that she was in agony. She knew that Bill was being as gentle as he could, but that didn't really help.

The boy was using a washcloth with hydrogen peroxide to slowly clean up the wounds on her upper arm, a look of worry in his eyes. He knew this: Stephanie Palmer was one tough girl for just getting badly wounded by a killer clown, and he couldn't help but feel proud of her. He probably would have cried like a baby if he had gotten hurt like she did, but she hardly shed a tear despite the pain she was in. Poor Steph, he thought to himself as he continued wiping down her arm until it seemed as though it wouldn't get infected. A girl with a strong heart that was getting cracked every day by the events surrounding her and the rest of the Losers.

Bill was aware that there would come a day where this sweet girl would break and she would never be put back together, and he didn't want that to happen. He knew that would come at a price: never getting to see her be happy again. But he was going to try his hardest to prevent it. Even if they never got to be together in the end, as long as Steph remained happy for the rest of her days, he would die a happy man. He wasn't going to be selfish anymore and just focus on finding Georgie (even though that was a priority of his), he was going to protect Steph and help her keep Justin and Amber safe.

The only reason he wanted to find Georgie now was so that he could make sure that Steph was right, that his little brother was gone... he wanted to have closure. He had realized that all this time searching for the boy had a consequence: his best friends getting hurt by It, coming to the realization that his brother might be dead after all, and now two little kids that his crush cared for more than anything were now in mortal danger. So he silently promised to protect them, and they and Steph had now become his priorities.

Amber and Justin greatly reminded him of Georgie, with their carefree nature and always being happy whenever he and Steph were around them, and they had the ability to come up with their own fantasies that they thought were real. And he had seen that Justin greatly resembled his brother and looked like him, although there were a few key differences, as there would be with anybody. That was the motivation he had needed to do everything he could to help Steph keep them away from It.

But, when Steph had come to the realization that Daniel had been killed by the clown, they had become more motivated than ever.

"Ow," Steph whimpered as Bill began wrapping her arm up with gauze and he winced at the sound while also apologizing for hurting her. She forgave him easily but she was a lot more silent than usual and he grew concerned for her well-being as a result and, when he finished bandaging her skin he moved to be in front of her and kneeled down, looking into her eyes.

"Yuh-You okay?" he asked her gently, taking one of her hands into his.

Steph nodded quicker than she ever had, blushing lightly at the touch before pulling her hand away from Bill's. "Yeah, I'm fine," she lied through her teeth as she closed her eyes and looked away. "Just thinking about something... not really that important."

Bill followed her eyes as he frowned, taking a deep breath for just a moment. "Um... S-Steph? What a-a-are you afraid of? You never t-t-t-t-told me...."

The blonde girl immediately froze at those words and she kept her gaze away from Bill's while she tried not to tear up. She ran her fingers through her hair as she let out a sigh of frustration at being asked this question again, and she shook her head. She couldn't tell him, she simply couldn't. She absolutely refused to utter a word about her biggest fears because she was scared that Bill would find it incredibly stupid and laugh at her or just leave. "I can't tell you..." she mumbled under her breath. "You'll find it ridiculous..."

"Wuh-What makes you think th-th-that?" Bill pondered in a shocked manner as Steph got up and walked out of the bathroom, continuing to shake her head while going down the stairs. The boy got up and followed her to the living room and saw her sitting down on the couch and burying her face in her hands, and he slowly sat down beside her, gently pulling her hands away so he could see her and she was crying again. "Steph... p-p-please tell me what's wrong..."

"No," Steph bluntly replied, letting out a harsh breath as she wiped the tears away, her hands balling into fists.

Bill felt a little hurt by the stern tone Steph used towards him and it made him lean back a little bit. But he wanted everything in his heart to help the girl that needed comfort and he was trying each trick in the book but to no avail. He was going to get an answer one way or the other, no matter what he did. "Y-You're the st-st-strongest person I know, Steph..." he said, his voice as soft as the choir of angels. "W-We tell each o-o-other everything. Please tuh-tell me. W-What are you so afraid of?"

"I said I'm not telling you," Steph said again, glaring right at Bill. "Jesus Christ, Bill, why can't you accept that there are things that I don't want to tell you?! It'll really hurt you and I can't say anything because I'm way too scared to!"

Bill could sense another argument coming so he attempted to put a stop to it, putting his hands on either side of Steph's face again, his eyes wide with worry. "Steph, please c-cuh-calm down–" he began.

Steph cut him off by shoving him away and standing up, shaking her head. "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" she screeched, making Bill flinch out of fear. "You do not get to tell me what to do! You wanna know what I'm so scared of? Fine, I'll tell you! I'm scared of losing you, Bill! I'm scared of losing our friends, of losing my mom, of losing Justin and Amber! I'm scared that I'll lose all of you to It, okay?! I already lost Daniel, we all lost him! And we lost Georgie! What if I lose you or Beverly, or Eddie, or Richie, or Stan, or–?"

The boy in front of Steph just got up and pulled her into a hug as she began shaking again. "Yuh-You won't lose us..." he promised her, planting a few kisses into her hair as he held her, gently shushing her and comforting her while pulling her back to the couch. He was holding her like a baby as she held back the tears and he was frowning at how vulnerable she seemed. She had never been this scared in her entire life and he felt so bad for her, he wanted to take her place and suffer through all of the pain that she had felt. He wished that she were never this hurt, and he wanted to absorb the emotional agony out of her so she could be happy.

After a little while, he pulled out of the hug and looked deeply into her eyes, smiling sympathetically. "You're nuh-not going to lose me... o-or your mom... or th-th-th-the Losers... or Justin a-a-and Amber..." he repeated, shaking his head lightly as he rested his forehead against Steph's. "Okay...? You're nuh-never going to lose us... Ever." He closed his eyes as he frowned, relating to Steph at that moment and he had just realized this. "I-I-I have the same fuh-fear... I don't ever w-w-want to lose you or those k-kuh-kids, or the Losers. You mean e-e-e-everything to me, okay? I promise..."

Steph got butterflies at the touch as she nodded lightly, smiling back softly before closing her eyes. "Good..." she mumbled under her breath. "I'll try my best to believe you, okay? The situation we're in doesn't let me believe you most of the time, but I'll do my best. I promise. You'll never know how much I care about you, Bill..."

Bill smirked lightly as he chuckled gently, kissing Steph's forehead. "I-I'll probably find out someday..." he teased, laughing a little more and making Steph giggle, and it made him smile that he had mostly cheered her up. "But I'll nuh-never let you know h-h-how much I care for you. Because what I s-s-s-say will never be enough to describe i-it. I've always cared about you, and I always will. Yuh-You are special. A-A-And I'll tell you ev-every reason why once this is o-over."

"And I'll do the same thing..." Steph quietly promised, smiling brightly as she tried not to shed a tear of happiness. She lowered her head out of shyness, something that Bill thought was cute and it made him hold her closer. Goodness, she was so precious. She didn't deserve all of this pain, this suffering and it caused him to feel so much sympathy for her; he wanted everything to be better for her, but he knew it wouldn't be able to be that way until this was over. They would have to, unfortunately, go through pain until It was defeated for good and only then would he prove how perfect she really was and keep her near for the rest of their lives.

Instead, Bill just smiled and brushed a strand of her elegant hair out of her face, just admiring her beauty and how sweet she was. If only he could allow himself to press a gentle little kiss to her soft lips... but he had to restrain himself from risking everything just to fall in love with her. "You're so pretty..." he whispered, grinning at how much more Steph was blushing, and the adorable sight made his heart miss a beat.

Bill Denbrough could admit that, in the past, he used to have a crush on Beverly Marsh and he remembered the time in the third grade when he had kissed her on the cheek during the school play. But that was several years ago and he had since moved on from the redhead, although he considered himself and her to still be great friends. The truth was that he only had a schoolboy crush and it was nothing more than that, since he didn't even know her that well and they had never hung out, despite getting to know her better recently.

Stephanie Palmer was a different case.

He had met her in the fourth grade while he and the other Losers saved her from Henry Bowers and his gang; he was nine and she was still eight since her birthday was in July while his was January. He recalled Eddie comforting her after he, Stan, and Richie fought off the bullies and caused them to run and they all introduced themselves to her shortly after, admiring her for how brave she was and the fact that she wasn't crying about any of it. Bill had to admit that she was very strong for only being eight years old and it led to him making the first move to befriend her and she accepted, even if she was hesitant at the time.

And, as the years slowly drew by, the two became closer friends and they always looked after each other whenever time grew tough for the both of them. They always hung out with each other whenever one or the other felt lonely or bored, and they were always open about everything when they were together. It had been that way for a very long time and that may have led to them realizing their feelings for each other, and they allowed themselves to trust each other. It significantly helped the both of them when it came to communicating with others, despite still being extremely shy, and they wouldn't change it if it came to their decision on whether or not they should.

And now they would never be able to grow apart. They wouldn't have been able to bear it either way and it would have destroyed them had what they had between them been ruined. Their feelings were always sacred to them and they kept them safe from each other for quite a long time; they had never experienced young love before and it was a foreign feeling and they didn't know what to do with all of the emotions that had been scrambled into their brains.... It was all so overwhelming. They couldn't handle it. It was all too much for them but they knew that they were going to have to live with it.

Everything had changed once they got involved with trying to find Georgie: they had grown closer, they became shyer around each other as time went by, and they had just confessed their feelings for each other. They could briefly recall nearly sharing a kiss in the clubhouse that Ben had constructed just a few days after the rock fight, and they had been caught by the boy in question before they could have their moment.

Bill could remember the blush that had swarmed Steph's face as he was leaning in that day, and the trembling of her soft and delicate hands as he held them in his strong and calloused ones. It truly reminded him of how timid she could really be when it came to the situation, and his heart fluttered at the fact that she was actually going to kiss him back before Ben caught them in a private part of the clubhouse. Oh, how he wished that he had leaned in further to claim her lips with his for as long as he was able to. But it seemed as though they were fated to never have their first kiss until the time was right, and that day wasn't the right day.

And today wasn't the right day either.

And Bill was okay with that.

The closest he would give Steph affection would be by holding and hugging her, as well as keeping her hand clasped in his if she wanted him to. As he thought to himself about how affectionate he was for her, his heart ached as he remembered the painful words that Richie had screamed at the girl and the words that had infuriated the poor blonde. She had come so close to lashing out at the boy and ripping his throat out for saying something so awful.

"Hey..." he finally spoke up after some time of peaceful silence. "I-I want you to know s-s-suh-something else..."

Steph slowly looked up at Bill, her eyes filled with curiosity as she stared at him, and the boy fell completely in love with those eyes. Every time he peered into those voids, he would be put into a trance where he could admire her for an infinite amount of time if he wanted to. But what he needed to tell her was far more important than just staring at her for hours at a time, although he silently reminded himself to do that whenever all of this was over. For now, though, he just merely opened his mouth.

"Yuh-You're not selfish," he told Steph in a matter-of-fact tone. "I will never forget th-th-that Richie said that to you... but i-i-i-i-it's not true. You are the least selfish person I've ever muh-met. You're so selfless... you have done nothing but care for Justin a-a-and Amber ever since I've seen you with them. You have so much love in your h-huh-heart, and I've always ruh-respected that. I luh-like that about you. You're protective... a-and sweet, and caring... and everything. You're –"

"I'm not," Steph mumbled, denying what Bill was saying as she shook her head, and she could see his frown that broke her poor heart. "I'm not. I'm anything but those things... Richie was right. Maybe I am selfish and only think of myself. Maybe..."

Bill's head shook back and forth and he frowned even more, his eyes filled with nothing but pure sympathy as he rested his forehead against Steph's. "Duh-Don't say that..." he whispered. "What you're s-s-saying is not true, Steph. I promise. I-I-I-I know so many people at school said a buh-bunch of terrible shit about you, but n-none of it is true. It never was true, do you understand?" At the girl's nod, he continued. "Y-Y-You don't know this but I c-cuh-constantly defended you against the rumors. People tuh-talked about how quiet you were and h-h-h-how that made you weird, but that couldn't be further from the t-truth. I'd suh-say you're more unique, and that m-m-makes you special. So I let all of our bullies know that. I always stood up for you, but I didn't want you to know."

Steph stared at him in amazement, a surprised smile on her face as she giggled. She couldn't believe the words he had just said, and she believed it was all a dream; but she knew it really wasn't and that this was actually real. But that didn't make it any less shocking, since she had come to an infinite amount of realizations today and it was mind-boggling for her. She was just a twelve-year-old girl who was discovering what it was like to not only face real demons, but also going through the hardship of losing her closest friends, going against the risk of losing those that she protected, and gliding through the process of falling in love for the first time.

Not only had Bill Denbrough been the first member of the Losers Club to offer to be friends with her, not only had he protected her from the smallest to the biggest of dangers when it came to any situation, but he cared about her more than anyone in his life, and he was so gentle with her, and he constantly defended her whenever it came to their bullies. And Steph could also tell, by looking into his mind, that he already loved her.

He was just trying to deny it.

And she didn't want to tease him about it.

She wanted to leave him alone about it until the time was right, despite being curious, and she knew that Bill would be more than okay with that. She just wanted him to be comfortable with them having unleashed their feelings out into the world; and she could already tell that was the case from the very beginning, and she was happy to know this.

She wanted so badly to know how much she cared about him but her lips were sealed and she refused to say a word about it.

"Steph..."

Steph looked at Bill with an expression in her eyes that was indistinguishable and one that nobody would be able to recognize. But she was silently letting him know that she was listening to every word he was saying. She always listened to whoever was talking to her unless it was someone she didn't like, so she wasn't worried about zoning out in the slightest.

"I promise you... that I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? You hear me? I promise..." he whispered, offering the most sincere smile he could muster. "I won't let that thing go anywhere near you again."

Steph didn't reply for a long moment, instead opting for looking into Bill's eyes for as long as she could manage. Then, she finally opened her mouth and spoke six words that would resonate with both of them forever:

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Bill frowned as he nodded just slightly and he took one of Steph's hands into his, holding it desperately. He never wanted to let her go, even though he knew that he couldn't be with her. He was aware that she wasn't able to start a relationship with him out of protection for him, but he wanted to just hug her and promise her that she wouldn't get hurt anymore and that she wouldn't lose him or the others over and over again. But he didn't do that out of worry of making her stress herself out even more. So, instead of doing what he wanted to most, he just nodded his head slowly, closing his eyes a little bit.

"O-Okay," he mumbled, his stutter returning. "I wuh-won't. Whatever yuh-you want, okay? You're one of my priorities now. But I'll st-st-stuh-still try to keep you safe, no matter what..." He went silent afterwards, the frown still on his face as the softest sigh left his lips.

"I believe you..." Steph replied, smiling at Bill as she took a deep breath, just relieved that all of this was temporarily over. She could worry about It in the future.

Right now, all she wanted to do was be in peace for the time being. That's all she wanted.

A/N: it's been a million years, but this chapter is finally out! it's shorter than normal but i hope that's okay!

thoughts on this chapter? not a lot happened but a vita plot point took place!

steph and bill have confessed their feelings!!! thoughts on how that was executed?

excuse steph for having a bad attitude, she's been through a lot in one day.

thoughts on the scene where steph admitted her true fear to bill? i feel so bad for her☹️

what about when bill comforted her repeatedly and helped her feel better? he's so sweet to her already🥹

predictions for the next chapter? let me know!

be looking forward to the next chapter!

-denbroughswife