Two Days Later
Sunday, June 18th, 1989

Steph was standing behind the little girl in the brown chair in front of the bedroom mirror as she combed her hair back so she could braid it, trying her best to keep her hands from shaking with sorrow. Her eyes were filled with no tears as she worked on Amber's long, brown hair, but her heart was covered with pain and dread of the tears that would eventually come within the following hour, and she was not looking forward to it. But she didn't focus on that for now; instead, she just concentrated on fixing the younger girl's hair until it looked pretty enough to satisfy her.

Amber wasn't really talking all that much, just staring at her reflection in the vanity mirror in Steph's bedroom. She was wearing a short-sleeved black dress that went just past her knees, and she was wearing black flip-flops with that, dressed much nicer than she usually would have been despite not minding. Some of her hair was already crafted into a braid, but Steph was still working on the rest while Jamie was getting the girl's older brother ready for her father's funeral. The seven-year-old didn't even know how to react to the fact that she had lost someone very important to her; she was too young to process something like that, and everyone around her knew that, especially her mother.

Sure, she understood that Rachel was hurting deeply over the news, and so was Justin since he was at least just old enough to understand. But she didn't get it. Her father was dead? What did the word 'dead' even mean? That's a word Mommy never taught me, she thought to herself as she glanced downward, frowning a little bit. She assumed that her mother just didn't want to terrify her by teaching her what death was like.

But she had one question, even if she was scared to ask the blonde girl standing behind her.

Screw it. She had to know.

"Steph...?" she mumbled timidly.

"Yes, Amber?" Steph replied gently, almost done braiding her hair.

"Where's Daddy now?"

Steph froze, stunned by the question as she stared at the back of the little girl's head, her hands tensing up slightly. She hadn't expected Amber to say something like that, almost as if she didn't know what death truly was and what it was like. Sure, Steph didn't really know what it was like, but she definitely knew what it felt like to lose someone that felt like family, since this was the second time it had happened in her life. It was a fear of hers that she didn't dare speak aloud, but she knew that the horror of losing someone that she loved deeply drove her to protect these kids with everything she had...

...even if that meant dying for them.

She would do it in an instant. No hesitation.

Steph ultimately decided not to bring up the topic of someone being dead to the child, wanting to sugarcoat it lightly, at least until Amber was older. But she couldn't stop a single tear from streaming down her left cheek, even though she stayed strong for her surrogate sister, not wanting to upset her by breaking down into hysterical sobs. She strained to figure out how to bring the topic up to Amber and, after a full minute, she finally found a way.

"Um... your Dad is in Heaven," she finally answered with a trembling voice, looking at their reflections in the mirror. "He's with God now..."

"Do you have to die to see God?" Amber inquired with a curious manner, treating it almost as if death wasn't a horrible thing, which really shocked the pre-teen blonde.

"I don't think so..." the girl responded, shrugging a little bit as she glanced downward. Steph wasn't religious at all, never even went to church once in her life, but she did have the slightest belief in God because of all of the beautiful things He had put on this earth. He had placed many amazing people in the world and caused great things to happen, which made her have just a little faith in the angels in Heaven.

But, if God is supposed to be amazing, then why did he take my father away from Mom? she asked herself in her head. Why is Daniel dead now? Why, God, why?!

"I think you have to pray..." Steph continued as she sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "...and reach out to Him. I haven't done it myself but it is a good thing to do sometimes, if He responds. But praying always helps..."

Amber nodded as she glanced back down to the section of the vanity below the mirror, thinking about what Steph had just said to her and, although she didn't understand the concept of it all, she was starting to have a grip on the idea of her father being in Heaven. It was a strange thing to think about, Daniel not being in the house anymore, not getting them up in the early mornings and making them breakfast anymore. Everything was different without him being around the family, and Amber didn't like it. She really missed her father and she wished that he didn't have to die the way he did; but, although her mother had told her that Daniel went away into a deep sleep, she had the feeling that it was a lie.

Her father was dead. He was dead and he wasn't coming back.

Truthfully, she was heartbroken. But she was a head-strong little girl, and she could handle it because she was still naive to all of the true horrors out there, such as the missing children.

Steph knew that she would go insane if that clown even touched either Amber or Justin; she wasn't going to let it happen. If it did, she would kill that disgusting thing. She would protect them no matter what.

"Why did Daddy have to die?" Amber said, finally turning around to face the taller girl, even though her hair wasn't completely done yet. Her bright green eyes were full of sadness now, almost as if they were puppy dog eyes, and it made Steph's heart break at the expression. She had to resist the urge to burst into tears and pull the child into a hug and to whisper to her that everything would be okay, just like an older sister would normally do. Her love for these two children had even grown to the point that she treated them as if they were her own kids. She had an overwhelming affection for them as she grew to know them, and she knew that she would do absolutely anything and everything for them.

Steph couldn't even come up with a comprehensible answer to that question, since she stammered a little while trying to figure it out. But, eventually, she gave up as she sighed softly, sniffing a little as more tears showed up.

"I honestly don't know, sweetie," she mumbled, her voice cracking lightly and she wiped her tears away. "Why don't you turn back around so I can finish with your hair, okay?" Once Amber obeyed her, she finished braiding the little girl's hair as quickly as she could, a sad little smile touching her lips lightly. After she was done, she kissed the top of her head and helped her stand up, her hands easing their trembling. "I really don't know, though... I'm so sorry, honey." She then brought her into a hug, holding her protectively as she let out a breath of agony, feeling so much care and support for the small child in her arms.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Steph..." Amber spoke up with a small whimper, pulling back from the embrace to look up at her. "What are you sorry for?"

Steph shrugged a little bit, shaking her head lightly; she really didn't know why she was apologizing in the first place, since she was aware that none of this was her fault. Maybe it was her way of expressing sympathy towards the children for the difficult times that they were sure to go through, but she couldn't think of a true reason for why she was even saying that she was sorry in the first place. All she could get out was an "I don't know" before the bedroom door swung open, revealing Cherokee standing there and looking up at his owner with a mildly interested expression.

"Hi, boy," Steph greeted him with a soft smile as she sank to her knees and beckoned the dog over to her. Cherokee trotted over to the girl and allowed her to pet him and love on him, which she knew would cheer her up, since the pet always made her happy despite any situation she was in. Even if she were having a mental breakdown, he was always by her side to give her some silent support. The girl giggled a little when she heard him whine with appreciation from the attention he was receiving. "Hey, I have to go, okay, Cherokee?" she added. "I'll be back this afternoon, don't you worry. Now, you be a good boy while we're gone and don't wreck the house. I know you have a tendency to be crazy sometimes. I love you anyway."

After a few more minutes of loving on her dog, Steph stood up and led Amber downstairs and into the living room, where Jamie and Justin were at (the young boy had already finished getting ready at this point). She sent a small smile over in the boy's direction, which he returned weakly as he went over to give her a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and brought him into an embrace. "Hey, it's okay," she exclaimed softly when she heard him begin to cry, and she picked him up since he was surprisingly light in her arms. "Don't cry, kid, it'll all be okay. I'll start crying if you cry."

Justin began to sob in Steph's arms as she held him, his shoulders quivering as he cried and cried. "I m-m-miss Dad so much, Steph," he let out, sniffing quietly as he buried his face in her shoulder, holding onto her as much as he could.

"I know, I know..." Steph sighed as she slowly set Justin back onto the floor, kneeling down to his level. "I know how you feel, Justin, okay? I promise I do. I would never lie to you..."

"I know y-you wouldn't," Justin croaked, wiping his tears away and taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for crying."

Steph just shook her head as she helped the young boy wipe the tears off his face for him, in a way to say that he didn't have to be sorry. He had lost his father, after all, so she completely understood his reason for breaking down. He understood the concept of death far better than Amber did, despite only having a two and a half year distance between them, and the idea of dying or losing any of his family members to a demise scared him far more than anything that had terrified him from watching those scary movies as a tiny child.

Jesus, he especially couldn't even imagine losing his baby sister to something so terrifying; yeah, they had their bickering matches every now and then, but he loved his sister deeply and he wasn't able to stand the thought of something horrific happening to her. Nobody really knew it, but Justin was very protective of Amber and always guarded her from the horrors of the real world; it was even to the point that this nine-year-old child would even be willing to sacrifice himself for her if it ever came to that. He didn't want to think about that ever happening, though.

A little while passed after Steph finally got Justin to calm down from his crying fit, and she fixed the tie on his suit for him. She even made lunch for the two kids, all of them having eaten breakfast together a few hours before, and they really appreciated her. But they were silent as they ate, although Jamie would speak up every now and then to remind them of how much time they had until they would leave. Steph then helped the children get their shoes on before stepping out the door; her mother would be driving them all to the funeral home and Rachel would be meeting them there.

The blonde girl stared solemnly out into the cloudy afternoon, grateful that it wasn't as blistering hot as it was just a few days prior. That way, it wouldn't affect the fact that she was wearing a black dress that extended to her ankles and black slip-on shoes to go with that. But, just in case the sun came out again, her hair was in a ponytail today to prevent her neck from sweating up a storm in the heat. But she honestly wouldn't really care if that happened, since that was the least of her concerns for today; all she cared about was making sure that the children were okay, making sure that they wouldn't break down like she almost had at the tragic news.

Sniffing a little as she bit back her tears, she opened the back door for Amber and Justin so they could get into the car. After assuring herself that they were okay for a moment, she shut the door and went to get into the passenger seat in the front. Her eyes bored into the sky above the windshield just mere feet from her face, never breaking away as the vehicle cruised down the streets of Derry, Maine. She seemed as though she had fallen under a trance, not blinking once and feeling a haze surrounding her as she became lost in her worries of the future.

Steph had to make sure that the two kids sitting in the backseat behind her didn't suffer too much, to take care of them as Daniel would've wanted her to do. She knew that Rachel worked a whole bunch and wasn't there for her children very often, so she was relied on to spend time with them and keep them entertained until the late hours of the night when the middle aged woman would finally arrive home. Not that the girl didn't mind; she had all of the time left in the world, but she constantly worried for the woman, hoping that she wasn't being a burden towards her for instantly jumping to the idea of helping her out.

The pre-teen girl had realized with everything going on in Derry that small towns weren't always the safest places, no matter what everyone had said to her. She almost wished that she and Jamie could have stayed in New York; at least Steph would've gone unnoticed up there instead of everyone seeing her in this hick town. But she did have great friends, and she knew that was the only good part about living in a small city like... like this. Sure, Derry was a beautiful town but it was so boring because almost nothing happened, and it wasn't exactly friendly to people.

Ask the missing kids and victims of Bowers and his gang! That'll answer everything! Steph thought to herself sarcastically, shutting her eyes as she rolled down the passenger side window. She relaxed at the wind gusting against her face and she almost dozed off, but she kept herself awake and her unique eyes snapped open. She took a deep breath to try to keep the bad thoughts at bay, but with the grief plaguing most of her emotions, it was very difficult to do that. She knew that they wouldn't go away for a while, and she couldn't stop it. So, she just tried to stay more positive about it and accept the fact that this was how it was going to be for a while going forward.

In fact, for the first time in months, negativity didn't invade Stephanie Palmer's thoughts; curiosity and interest seeped into her brain.

She began to think about how much of a coincidence it was that Daniel died the very same night that she had been attacked by that... that thing. It wasn't a person, she knew that, but she couldn't describe just what it was. She knew that it looked like a clown but she had some sort of paranoia that it was something much more than that... something much more terrifying and deadly. She couldn't pinpoint what she had felt when she had seen that creature in her home just two nights before, since she was so confused as to how it had gotten inside. But all she could remember was having the urge to get the hell out of Derry immediately after that. Then she got the phone call from Rachel.

"S-Steph..." she had sobbed over the receiver, her hands trembling as she paced back and forth in her house, unbeknownst to the girl. "You and Jamie nuh-need to come over right now... Daniel... He's-He's dead."

How convenient, Steph thought, laughing to herself in her mind. Your father figure supposedly dies in a car accident right around the time you're attacked. This has to mean something...

I mean, what a good time for something like this to happen right in the middle of all of the kids disappearing, am I right? At least, that's what Steph had been thinking. She remembered that the older man had been acting very off that morning when she came to visit; he wouldn't meet her eyes and he seemed very fidgety and almost afraid... kind of like he had seen a ghost with his own eyes. She was very puzzled about that because he had seemed very lively and friendly just the day before. What he had looked like the morning before his demise was the complete and polar opposite of his usual cheerful self. She recalled asking him if he was okay, and he had said that he was fine but Steph had clearly seen the lie in those words from the way Daniel's voice had shook and the fact that he wouldn't even maintain eye contact.

Now Daniel O'Connor was dead. And Steph had the instinct that something related to all of the kids going missing had something to do with that.

Could Daniel have possibly been connected to something similar to this when he was younger? Did... Did he see the monster that Steph had seen that night?

Was he a victim of... the clown...?

Just as Steph had contemplated that thought, all remnants of imagination were broken when the car came to a stop in the funeral home parking lot. She sat up in her seat and looked out the windshield, seeing that there was a good crowd of people already gathering in the entrance of the building. She adjusted her black dress before turning around and looking at Justin and Amber, who were just staring blankly out of their windows at the people getting out of their own vehicles. She sighed a little before sharing a glance with Jamie, who shrugged sadly. But the blonde girl brightened up a little as she came up with an idea.

"Hey, you two," she said to the kids, and they reluctantly turned to face her. "How about, after this is done, I cheer you guys up by taking you to the ice cream place right across the street? My treat!"

Amber's head bobbed up and down immediately as she smiled, but Justin was much more hesitant as he grimaced a little. "Are you sure, Steph?" he asked her, frowning a little. "I don't want you to spend your money on me... Besides, I don't think I should have ice cream..."

"Oh, that's a bunch of nonsense!" Steph scoffed slightly, giggling a little. "Come on, now, Justin... I want to see a smile on y'all's faces again, you know?" At his nod, she decided to go on with her statement. "Besides, I may even invite Bill and our other friends to go with us... We can just hang out there for a little bit and I'll pay. I have enough money from where I babysat you two."

Justin sighed as a tiny smile formed on his face, reluctantly nodding. "Okay, fine," he mumbled, shaking his head lightly. "But please don't get anything else for me, because you know it makes me feel bad!"

Steph just reached out to the boy and ruffled his little bob of hair, making him gently swat at her hand as he laughed. The girl grinned as she retracted her hand from the backseat and unbuckled her seatbelt; she then looked over at her mother, who had a small smile on her face. Her eyes read something along the lines of, "You're the best daughter a mother could ever ask for." And the pre-teen glanced downward out of slight embarrassment, but she appreciated how loving her mother was.

After about five more minutes and confirming that they were ready to go inside, Steph finally opened her car door and stepped out of the Plymouth Fury, a feeling of anxiety settling in her gut. Her trembling hands searched for the handle of the back door and she grabbed Justin by the hand, carefully bringing him out the car, Jamie going to Amber's side to do the same. "Stay with me..." she whispered to the younger boy in a soft voice. "Don't go out of our sight, okay?" When she saw him nod, she felt a little more comforted by the fact that he wouldn't just randomly run off without her knowing.

But, just in case, she put her arm around his shoulder to keep him close, feeling protective over the child and praying that he nor his sister wouldn't go missing like the other kids. She peered over at her mother, the middle-aged woman keeping little Amber near her in case she tried to run off. The two women were trying their best to keep those children as safe as possible, never wanting to lose them even if they weren't really family; the truth was that they were family to Steph, and that was all that mattered.

And that was all that would matter to her for months on end following this day.

With one arm around Justin's shoulders and a hand tentatively clasped in his, Steph walked him to the front doors of the funeral home, scanning her surroundings just in case someone was watching them from afar. She felt a chilly breeze brush past her, landing on her exposed neck and leaving goosebumps in its wake, and she really didn't like that. It was supposed to be summer... either it was starting to actually become cold much too soon for her liking, much to her dismay, or there was a storm on the horizon. And not a physical storm, at that.

Steph politely thanked the kind man that held the door open for the four and then stepped inside, strangely appreciating how warm the air was in the lobby. Her grip on Justin's hand tightened as she walked over to the guestbook, but she released her arm from around him so she could pick up the pen and scribble down her signature as well as the boy's, that way he wouldn't have to do it himself. She then turned to Jamie for a moment. "Do you want me to write your names down for you guys, Mom?" she asked her timidly, to which her mother nodded.

"Sure, sweetie!" Jamie replied with a weak smile as she nodded. "I'm going to leave Amber with you while I go see Rachel, okay?"

The blonde girl nodded as she beckoned Amber over to her and Justin before signing her name, as well as Jamie's. Taking a deep breath, Steph then put the ink pen down back next to the book and took the children's hands into both of hers as she walked towards the room that she knew the casket would be laying in. She looked around at all of the people surrounding the area and felt a lot of respect for them filling her heart; a lot of police officers that knew Daniel were in one corner of the room, possibly discussing how the car accident that he had been in could have ever occurred. She could also see his still-living father talking to Rachel and doing his best to comfort her just as Jamie came into the grieving woman's line of sight. Her lips pressed into a thin line from seeing this and she looked down with a sad expression in her eyes.

Christ, she doesn't deserve the pain, she thought to herself out of despair. Why her, why her, why her?! Why did it always have to be the ones Steph loved that suffered in agony? She would rather have preferred it to be her that were stabbed through the heart with a blade covered in tears, grief, and sadness that created a black hole of depression in her soul. But she wasn't able to prevent it from hurting the ones that she cared for, even though she wished that she could take their place every single day of every day or even every week, and it pained her more than anything else ever could.

At least, for the time being.

Steph then felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped about a mile into the air, accidentally letting go of Justin and Amber's hands. She whirled around, slowly sighing with relief as she saw Eddie sending her a sad smile, but he raised his hands up in defense, feeling guilty for startling her; "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed as quietly as he could. "It's me, Steph!"

The girl chuckled a little as she glanced at the two children beside her for a moment before pulling Eddie into a small hug. "It's okay, Eddie," she murmured assuringly. "I wasn't expecting you to be here so early. Your mom here?"

"No," Eddie replied quieter than usual. "It took a lot to convince her to let me go by myself, since she didn't even know Daniel. But she eventually let me. By the way, I have to go home early or else she'll freak out."

"No problem, kid," Steph said as she giggled, pulling away from the hug and looking into his brown eyes for a brief moment. "Where are the others?" she added in a questioning tone. "Surely, you didn't come here all by yourself, right?"

Eddie jokingly glared at Steph, shaking his head lightly as he scoffed. "Yeah, I totally showed up here alone because my mother would definitely allow that! Of course I'm not alone! The others are in the kitchen, they brought food here for the guests."

Steph actually smiled a little bit, a true smile despite the sorrow she felt. "Well, that was really kind of them," she said timidly, her heart leaping out of happiness towards her friends... her family. "I had to bring Amber and Justin with me because their mom worked the night before so they stayed with me, so... But thank you for showing up, for even getting your mom to let you come here. It really means a lot to us and--"

The slightly shorter boy's head shook from side to side as he smiled up at his surrogate mother, patting her on the shoulder. "It's okay, Steph!" he replied, holding one of her free hands. "You don't have to say anything else, I understand. You're welcome. I wanted to be here to provide comfort..."

The blonde girl was about to say something else but she looked to her right, noticing that Amber was no longer by her side. Her heartbeat started kicking into overdrive as she panicked slightly, her hands trembling; she looked all around her but didn't see the tiny girl but, when she looked up and in front of her, all sense of worry subsided for the time being. She felt a surge of several emotions when she saw Amber standing about ten feet away: first, relief that she hadn't lost her whatsoever; second, confusion because she noticed that the girl was standing in front of a table, apparently staring at the wall like a crazy person; and finally, third, empathy and sadness because she had stepped closer to her and saw the picture sitting on the wooden table.

Her heart sank as she carefully stepped over to Amber, who was staring solemnly at a picture of Daniel and Rachel holding the two kids; the little girl had been six months old while Justin had been two when the photo was taken. They were all smiling happily, mostly since the mother of the family was trying to get little Justin to laugh in order for his smile to not look fake, and it had worked. The family seemed whole at the time, and Steph had noticed that while Jamie was taking the picture of them at the eldest child's birthday party. Rachel had invited a then six-year-old Steph to the party, and she had practically begged her mother to go, so they both went.

The girl remembered that day vividly and reminisced as she kneeled down beside Amber, staring at the photo and preventing the tears from bursting out of her eyes. She needed to be strong for the little girl, since she wanted to set a good example of how to keep your cool when you lost someone you were close with. Besides, she knew that the O'Connors were going through much more pain than she was and she wanted to comfort them as much as she could, even though she wouldn't really be their saving grace. She felt so bad for them and wished that it were her that lost a loved one instead of them.

Little did she know that the thought she had just had would come into fruition one day in the future.

She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before turning her head to look at Amber with the emotion of sympathy in her eyes. She pulled her near and kissed her forehead, feeling the tears brimming the corners of her own eyes. "I know how you feel..." she murmured to her tenderly, sniffing slightly. "I'm so sorry, Amber... Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Steph..." Amber mumbled as she glanced back at her with a heartbreaking look in her eyes as well; a look that made Steph want to break down completely and go to the ends of the earth for her and protect her for the rest of eternity. "I mean... I guess I'm okay."

"It's alright to not be okay..." Steph replied gently, feeling a surge of concern and the need to keep this young girl safe and shielded from the sadness of the world. "I promise. You can let me know if you're not okay, and you know that."

The much younger and smaller girl just pulled the blonde girl into a hug at those words, finally beginning to weep for the first time all day. She couldn't bring herself to say anything else, but that didn't matter to Steph, since she was right there with her. She hugged Amber back and held her soothingly, even picking her up as she stood back to her feet, walking over to where Rachel was now standing all alone. She carried the little girl over to her mother, whispering "It's okay" to her over and over as a single tear trickled down her right cheek soundlessly. She sniffed again before setting Amber down on one of the chairs in the front row of the room, and then walked up to Rachel.

"Rachel...?" Steph spoke up hesitantly, her fingernails digging into the soft flesh of her palms painfully. When the middle-aged woman looked up at her, tears falling down her face like a waterfall, the girl broke and she really started to cry. "Can I hug you...?" she added faintly, her voice cracking as her shoulders shook.

The widowed woman didn't reply with a word, instead just nodding and hugging her there, sobbing uncontrollably at this point. Steph's heart wrenched in her chest as her hands balled up into fists, crying hysterically alongside her; she had never felt a type of pain this emotionally terrible in her life since she had been born into this world. She felt the need to just stay here and repeat to Rachel that everything would be okay, but she knew that it was a bold-faced lie from the very beginning.

Not just for Rachel, or Justin, or Amber... but also for her friends and even herself.

Nothing was okay at the moment. Sure, there were a few tiny fragments of things that were the closest to good realizations and events during the start of the summer, like how she had taken in the fact that she had a crush on Bill that was slowly growing day by day, and that she still had her mother here by her side every step of the way, and even that she was able to hang out with all of her friends for the first time since spring break back in April, and that she enjoyed babysitting Justin and Amber while their parents were away....

But that didn't overshadow the bad, which was starting to overcome all of the Losers and the families surrounding them.

Steph couldn't even begin to describe how terrible the summer had already been for her and her friends. To start off, she and almost every one of the others had seen something equally strange and horrific over the course of days, weeks, or even months, for crying out loud! Second, she had witnessed Mike Hanlon almost getting his face bashed in by Henry Bowers and his gang, and she had barely managed to save him along with her friends. Thirdly, she had been attacked by some mysterious creature dressed up as a clown and had nearly been shredded to pieces, and she was left trauma-stricken already. And finally, two kids that she treated as her own had lost their own father that very same night, and she was left to pick up the pieces of their grief and put them back together like Humpty Dumpty.

Whoopity fucking doo, right?! Steph thought to herself and she almost laughed, but she didn't want to get weird looks from anyone so she stayed quiet.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel..." she sobbed out in an attempt to provide solace for the older woman, but she felt as though the attempt failed miserably and it made her cry more.

"It's not your fault, Steph," Rachel responded, unknowingly repeating something that Amber had said to her. "There's nothing about this whole situation that was your fault. Okay? You did nothing wrong, do you understand me?"

Steph nodded slowly as the crying began to fade and she pulled back to look at Rachel, wiping the tears off of her face as she did. "And it wasn't your fault, either..." she replied weakly, taking a deep breath. "I promise. Y'all did nothing wrong... I mean that." She then sighed, looking around for a long moment before her eyes landed on the casket at the very end of the main room and she could see him lying in there with his hands over his chest and eyes closed. "He looks very peaceful..." she added, sniffing as she finally stopped crying.

Rachel nodded as she smiled a little bit. "Yeah, he does..." she said before going silent on Steph and focusing on Amber and Justin, the latter who had already been in the room for quite some time. The girl didn't really mind that, choosing to walk away for a little bit to focus on other things besides her crumbling emotions; she more so wanted to find her friends at the moment rather than cry like an infant, so she began to walk to the kitchen where Eddie had said they were at. She felt rather rude for just leaving the boy standing there, but she had done it for a good reason, since she thought that she had lost Amber.

She just hoped that he would understand.

She stepped into the room, finally finding it even though it was an unfamiliar place to her. She had never been in a funeral home before, after all. It was all too new to her, but she was weirdly okay with that.

"Steph!" a female voice exclaimed, and Steph almost had the wind knocked out of her lungs as Beverly flew into her arms and pulled her to her in a tight embrace. "Oh, I'm so sorry about Daniel... If only I had known, I would've been there for you guys. I'm so so sorry..."

"No, no, no!" Steph said soothingly, catching the sign of her redheaded best friend's voice cracking with battling tears. "You don't have to be sorry for anything, do you hear me?" she added. "I will repeat it again and again if I have to, even. But I assure you, Beverly, please don't apologize, okay? I should be the one apologizing for not telling you about what happened to him. All you need to do today is to remember him for the good man that he was, not be sorry for me."

The girl held Beverly in her arms as she looked ahead of both of them, seeing the rest of the Losers on the opposite side of the room. All of them had somber looks on their faces as they stared over at the two girls, and Steph could tell that some of them had cried a little bit earlier since she noticed their slightly red eyes and the tears hanging from their eyelashes. The first that she had seen was Bill and she saw that he was still crying, and she felt her heart breaking; she knew that he had been close to the O'Connor family and always treated them with such respect. She knew that Daniel and Rachel had treated him as their own every time he would come over and help Steph babysit the couple's kids, and she desperately wanted to tell him that it was all okay.

But, just as she had thought earlier, nothing was okay at all.

Despite this, Steph felt a few ounces of hope enter her heart when the boys walked over to her and Beverly and pulled them close in a group hug that she really needed. She sighed with silent relief as she hugged them all back, her bottom lip quivering as tears gathered in the corners of her midnight blue eyes once again. She held onto them intently, never wanting to let go; as the group hug continued for longer than expected, she glanced up a little bit, only to be met with the eyes of Bill. Those sad, innocent eyes filled with nothing but sympathy and care, and it made a painful smile touch her lips ever so slightly.

Little did she know, all that Bill was thinking of at that moment was her.

A/N: well, that was sad, wasn't it?☹️

don't worry, it'll get MUCH sadder eventually...

ANYWAYS, thoughts on this chapter? did you like it?

what did you think of the first scene between steph and amber? was it heartbreaking that amber didn't truly understand what happened?

thoughts on the entire funeral scene?

i feel bad for justin, amber, rachel, AND steph... they all need a hug.

predictions for the next chapter? let me know!

be looking forward to the next chapter!

-denbroughswife