Eighteen Days Later
July 23rd, 1989

Colorful sets of clothes billowing in the wind. Green trees. The white flip-flops that the girl was wearing. That's what she could see. Steph was staring down at the ground, a blank expression in her dark eyes as she crossed her arms. Goodness, she was just praying for the laundry to dry so that she could take the clothes down and bring them back inside so Jamie could iron them. The wind was becoming more chilly by the second, despite the unbearable heat that symbolized the dreadful summer.

Besides, the birthday celebration would be held later today, so she just couldn't wait for it.

Steph had turned thirteen. Finally. It seemed like it would be fucking forever before the day would arrive. But it wasn't a joyful day like her previous birthdays, mostly because of everything that had taken place over two weeks prior. She wished that all of her friends would come to her birthday party but, after all of the words that had been exchanged between them, it didn't seem like that would be the case. Although that broke Steph's heart, she just had to suck it up and live with it.

But, hey, at least Justin and Amber would be there. And Bill and Beverly had promised to show up as well. But it just didn't feel complete knowing that not everyone would be there, and today just didn't contain the usual happy spirit that the Losers brought out into the world. Nobody had been as cheerful since the previous month... when all of that horrendous shit took place just as the so-called 'wonderful' summer had taken off. It had brought down the mood of the friend group significantly right when they were supposed to be having an entire break filled with sleepovers, games, trips to the Barrens or the quarry, and the Fourth of July parade.

First off, Bill's happiness had been completely sucked out of him the day after the fight between Richie and himself. Even though he and Steph had revealed their feelings to one another, not even that could revive his bliss that had lived within him until Georgie's disappearance. She had done everything she could to help him through it all but nothing was working, and it broke her heart to know that she couldn't save him from his personal issues this time. She had tried so hard, but to no avail. Even if she laid down her life just to see him smile again, it still wouldn't be enough, which she was aware of.

Secondly, while Amber had attempted to keep her composure together as much as humanly possible and she was doing a great job of it, Justin wasn't so lucky. He had closed himself off from Steph and his remaining family and, although the teenage girl had reached out to him in an effort to comfort him during the difficult time, he refused to give in to the consoling. She noticed that he was becoming more and more like the current version of Bill by the second. There would be times, whenever she was babysitting the kids, where he wouldn't even speak to her or his sister; she once caught him sitting in his bedroom, just staring at the wall with a blank look in his eyes.

The girl had become worried for him more than she thought she would be. She had even tried to get him to talk about his grief but, every time she tried, he would just get up and walk away from her. This really wasn't like him at all; Justin was always the talkative little boy that Steph had known since the moment he was born but, the moment he found out his father was dead, his emotions did a complete one-eighty and he became a shallower side of what he used to be. The grinning, happy-go-lucky young boy was no more, instead replaced by a depressed, quiet side of a human that once was.

The last time she had seen him, Justin and Amber had been in her front yard, either picking at the grass or running around, trying to get the other to play with them. Steph had to leave them alone for a little while to dry the clothes she had taken out of the washer, but Jamie was watching over them for the time being in order to prevent something from happening to them. She felt a little bit of regret for leaving them there and it felt like they were so far away, but her mother told her that they would be alright. She was relieved to have a parent that was protective but also caring and supportive when it came to anything, and she was grateful to share a home with that parent.

Jamie Rebecca Palmer wasn't ignorant like the other adults that had lived in Derry long before she and her daughter had moved there. The curse that plagued the small town seemed to have not affected her in any way, and she still acted normally, much to Steph's relief, as well as the other Losers. The middle-aged woman had grown suspicious of who was really behind the disappearances, but she didn't want to say anything out of the fear of putting her own daughter in danger. Unlike the parents of the other members of the Loser's Club, Jamie genuinely cared about the safety and well-being of her child, due to the fact that she was the only true family she had left. Sure, she still had her sister, Sue, and her mother, Eleanor, but she had become distant from them after all that she had been through. She didn't want to lose her daughter; that would've been the death of her if she ever did.

Steph was her only priority now, and she would do absolutely everything she could to keep her little girl safe and sound.

The blonde tried to distract herself from her inner monologue for the time being, looking upward again. She figured that the laundry hanging from the clips was drier than ever by now, so she finally stood up and walked over to it. She felt the fabric of the sheets, shirts, and jeans, and she smiled at the fact that they were as dry as a bone. She began to unclip them and put them into the basket that she had brought with her, making sure to be careful with them as she did so. One by one, she removed the clothes from the lines and it allowed her to see over the tall wooden fence twenty feet away from her.

She saw a face peeking over at her from over the fence, and her blood ran cold, her hands also clenching into fists and holding the cloth of the white bedsheet as tightly as she could. She glanced around to make sure nobody else could see whatever she saw, but there wasn't anyone in the backyard with her; she slowly turned her head back around and stared right into the eyes of It, a shiver traveling down the length of her spine. Her breathing grew quicker as she trembled from head to toe, her blue eyes broadening to where they wouldn't even be recognizable, but she took a deep breath and forced herself to relax.

She didn't hear a voice in her head this time and, for that, she was relieved, but it didn't put her at ease. Her hands unclenched themselves as she pried the last pair of shorts from the clothespin, gently stacking it on top of the other clothes in the black basket. Steph then wrapped her small hands around the handles and lifted it off of the muddy ground, since it had rained the night before. She gripped them tightly, feeling the plastic digging into her skin as she kept her eyes on the clown, making sure it didn't lunge in her direction. It seemed as though it wasn't going to, but she couldn't be so sure. It was just standing still, watching her every move, and it creeped her out to no end, so she watched it in return.

The blonde felt wind blowing through her hair, but it was harsher than it had been during the daytime on previous days. She felt as though she were about to be knocked over by the force of it, but she kept her balance. She did shudder a bit at how cold the gust of wind really was, but she tried her best not to pay attention to that. She squeezed her eyes shut out of desperation, since the clown wouldn't go away if didn't do this; she silently begged for her personal monster to go away, whispering to herself a little bit.

"Please go away..." she murmured almost voicelessly, letting out a deep breath she had been holding for the longest period of time.

After a good long while, her eyes fluttered open and she sighed with relief.

Nobody was by the fence anymore. The smallest of smiles appeared on her face as she began to walk away.

"How are you doing, Stephanie?"

Looks like the clown had not gone away after all. Now It was in her head.

Steph froze in place, her eyes immediately glancing over to her reflection standing in the small windows of the back door. Only... it wasn't just her staring back at herself. She saw something that she hoped that she wouldn't have to see twice in one day again; the thing was, however, she was trying to play it off like it was some regular occurrence in her everyday life in order to not show any fear. And, while her heart was racing just a little bit, she ignored it, sighing out of what seemed to be annoyance instead of terror.

There it was, standing right behind her, Pennywise itself, and it was smiling at her. It didn't seem evil towards her, actually, more so casual and normal; that was when Steph knew that It wasn't really behind her, and she rolled her eyes at the reflection that had been conjured up in her own mind. It was all an illusion that would appear to her every now and then when she was paranoid, but she knew this: It may not have been there physically, but it was still there and it always would be.

The teenager glanced down as she pinched the bridge of her nose while holding the basket with one arm now. She could hear the clown humming out of disappointment, and she scoffed a little bit before glaring back up at the mirroring figure looking down at her with an expression of mock dismay in its eyes. Her shoulders sagged with irritation as her eyes narrowed a little bit, tilting her head to examine Pennywise's stature, and it seemed as though it were standing next to her like any regular human would. But that wasn't a human, and she knew that. It was the personification of evil, but here it was, seemingly upset about something.

"Hmm... suppressing your fear of me isn't working out as well as you thought, huh?" It teased, chuckling lightly as it crossed its arms while gesturing to her. Steph could see the deadpanned smirk on its face, and an exhale left her lungs out of vexation while she rubbed the palm of her hand over her forehead.

"Fuck you..." she mumbled, her lips pressing into a thin line out of anger now, her hands clenching into fists once again.

"You can't hide from me forever, Stephanie," It retorted with a glare in its eyes now. "I just thought I'd let you know that ahead of time..."

Steph shook her head before grabbing the other handle of the basket with her free hand, beginning to walk towards her back door and pretend It wasn't there again. This had happened over a dozen times since the Neibolt incident, and she was far beyond fed up with it this time. She grasped the doorknob gently, feeling the yellow sundress she wore blow around her legs and she shivered at how chilly it still was despite the hot air.

"Hey..."

She jerked her head upward and stared at the reflection again, knowing it hadn't vanished yet. She was curious as to what it had left to say before she left, but her shoulders tensed up out of worry – not fear – of what would come out of that creature's mouth. She thought it was going to roar in her ears like it did at Neibolt all those days ago or even have black blood coming from its throat so it could hit her face and scald the skin. She prepared herself to run in order to avoid it, but none of that came from the clown.

Instead, Pennywise just spoke a few simple words.

"When are you going to tell her why all this is happening?" It asked subtly, its eyes widening with such cheer that Steph didn't know was possible of even existing.

Steph's eyes squinted out of puzzlement, since she had no clue what It meant by 'her,' and she didn't know anyone that knew nothing about the whole clown debacle besides Amber and Justin, mostly because she didn't want them to realize it in order to protect them. She looked down and pondered over what Pennywise could have possibly meant by whoever it was talking about, even to the point that her brain felt as if it were about to crumble from the confusion.

"What...?" she whispered, an expression of indecision on her kind face, looking all around her as her ability to think disappeared. "What are you talking abo–?"

She stopped in the middle of her sentence, tilting her head as she finally came to the realization; it all clicked for her, and she felt so stupid. Who was the one person that Steph had absolutely refused to tell about It attacking her and her friends? Who was the person that she had kept the clown a secret from?

Her own mother, of course!

A knocking sound came from the back door inches away from Steph and she jumped almost a foot in the air. She glanced into the windows, but she couldn't see It anymore; Jamie was there, instead. She sighed out of comfort, giggling lightly as she shook her head before opening the door, her hand gripped around the golden doorknob out of looking for something to keep her calm. It worked... just a little bit. She smiled over at her mother, attempting to act normal in the presence of her, despite the woman suspecting that something was off about her daughter.

"You okay, Steph?"

Steph looked up at her mother through the window of the door as she opened, nodding a little as she smiled more. "Yeah, I'm okay," she replied. "Just thought I saw something in the reflection. Probably my mind playing tricks on me."

Jamie nodded slightly, her eyes narrowed in suspicion but she didn't want to push her daughter's buttons. "Okay..." she said, holding out her hands and taking the basket of dry clothes from her daughter. "Here, let me take this so I can iron them. Go ahead and bring Amber and Justin back inside while we wait for Bill and Beverly. You can go sit on the porch like you talked about."

Steph's head bobbed up and down, and she stepped inside and walked through the house to her front door.

_____

The small boy was laid out on the grass, the wind feeling nice against his skin as he resided underneath the shade of the large tree in Steph's front yard. His eyes were closed and he was evidently asleep by now; he had never fallen asleep on the lawn before and, while it was uncomfortable, he was so tired that he didn't even want to get up and walk away from the cool breeze blowing around in the outdoors. He felt as though he were asleep, but he could still hear the wind gusting past him and the sound of Amber running around the yard and picking dandelions reverberated in his ears.

His little sister had asked him to play with her ten minutes ago, but he refused to do so, not ever being in the mood to have fun with anything anymore. Nothing was enjoyable nowadays and, while Justin had attempted to still be happy following his father's death, he had sunken into a black hole and a part of him had died along with Daniel. He wanted to be happy, he wanted nothing more than to get up and play with Amber, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He may have felt asleep at the moment, but he was more certainly awake; he was caressing the lovely green grass beneath him, the sounds of birds of many varieties chirping and flying around several feet to hundreds of feet away from him residing in his eardrums for the time being. The slightest smile formed on his face for the first time in over a month, much to his surprise, and he almost wanted to open his mouth and actually say something. But he just couldn't bring himself to.

Suddenly, something entered his mind... something he couldn't put a name on.

He had the sudden feeling that someone was watching him and he was immediately afraid to snap his eyes open in order to catch whoever was looking at him. But the new sound in his ears nearly forced him to 'wake up' and face reality, although he refused to. The bellowing whooshing noise echoing in his brain felt like a real life nightmare he was reliving over and over again, almost like the nightly dream he would have that involved him losing Amber and Steph to a clown-like creature that definitely wasn't human. It was all that screamed at him continuously and would never stop, and he just wanted to yell out in agony... mental agony because he literally felt like he was losing his mind.

His face contorted in a frown as his eyes opened. The noise had vanished almost as if everything had crashed to silence; for a moment, it felt like Justin had lost all sense of hearing, but the sounds of the wind blowing and Amber playing slowly faded back to him and he had all five senses back. He took deep breaths to calm himself down as he put a hand up to his chest, blinking a few times. His heart was racing in his chest, and he had no idea why. Nothing particularly bad had happened to him, so he was confused as to how he was so scared at that moment. He looked all around him, but he only saw Amber looking at him out of concern.

"You okay, Justin?!" she shouted over to him, her eyes wide with worry.

The nine-year-old boy couldn't think of a true answer to that question, so he only nodded.

"Hey, kids!"

Justin sat upright out of newfound fear but, when he turned around, he sighed with relief when he saw Steph standing on her front porch. He looked back down at the dandelions for a brief moment, admiring their beauty more than paying attention to his babysitter just mere feet away from him. He had the feeling that she knew he was ignoring her, and he felt an immense pang of guilt sting in his chest

(i shouldn't be avoiding her she's gonna suspect something soon i need to talk to her)

but his mouth couldn't open in order for him to speak.

He was able to notice a sliver of a sad smile on Steph's lips as she motioned for him and Amber to come inside and prepare for dinner. A sigh left his chest as he slowly stood up and lumbered over to the porch, a little relaxed that the sun would lay off of his skin for a little while since it was really hot outside. There had not been a single day that had the slightest hint of coolness since the summer had begun and he was happy to learn that the season would be slowly drawing to a close within the following month. Winter was his favorite time of the year because of the deep snow that always fell upon Derry, and he just preferred the freezing cold weather to the smothering heat that summer would bring to the town.

He walked up the stairs and was reaching for the door knob right after Amber had entered the house; that was when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he spun around to face Steph, who was looking down at him with a look of puzzlement in her unique eyes.

"You wanna stay out here and watch me play guitar?" she asked gently, her sad smile growing more hopeful. "It won't take that long, I promise!"

The young boy really thought about it for a good long while, faltering over what he wanted to say, which was "Yes." But something inside of him burned and ate away at him like it was a heatwave scalding his poor heart, and he couldn't muster the courage to stay outside with the girl that he had known since he was a baby. While on one hand, he wanted nothing more than to stay with her and listen to her impeccable guitar skills that would no doubt turn her into a singer one day (at least, he thought so), he just wanted to be left alone for good. He wouldn't care if the world just forgot about him completely; he wanted to be invisible.

So, with that thought in mind, he just shook his head and walked inside without another glance back at Steph, the door slamming shut behind him.

Steph's smile faded to a frown as she stared after the shorter boy, her shoulder sagging with pure sadness now. Instead of chasing after him like she wanted to, she just sat down on the porch swing and gripped her guitar in her hands, just passing time once more until Bill and Beverly showed up. She used her bare fingers to pluck at some strings, noticing that they sounded off-key because of the clip on the handle of the instrument. So she moved it and plucked the same strings again, the sounds being beautiful and not out of tune to her this time, which made her giggle.

Music was where the blonde was always her happiest, since it was her escape from the rest of the world... well, that and horror movies. And, although it didn't help completely, her guitar was her temporary therapy after everything that had happened over two weeks ago. Sometimes, however, the songs she would play would end up making her cry anyway once she thought of the friends that had betrayed her and left her there, feeling more alone than ever. Sure, she had made amends with most of them, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Everything sucked now; she felt lonely, Justin didn't even talk to her anymore, Amber even felt distant from her, and Bill and Beverly weren't able to help her as much as it felt like they tried to.

Steph grabbed her pick and began properly strumming, her hand trembling for a reason that she couldn't comprehend, but it felt as though the musical notes sounded bland and empty because of the cold sensation in her heart that wasn't pleasant. But, as she continued, the coldness began to fade into something warmer and more comforting despite the temporary depression that had swarmed her. Her fingers on the handle of the guitar moved perfectly and she knew that it was the result of the years of lessons that her mother had provided her. She was even able to brush her fingers over the etchings of initials of previous generations of her family that resided in between the six pegs:

N.P. – Nancy Parker.

E.S. – Eleanor Snell.

J.S. – Jamie Snell.

S.P. – Stephanie Palmer.

There were no more initials afterwards...

After a little while of playing random notes, she paused and lifted her head up, her hands slacking in their work. She sighed softly, since the notes she had attempted to play right had reminded her of an evening where she had nearly snapped for good. She closed her eyes out of regret and guilt as she

stirred the food in her bowl around in a glum way, kind of not in the mood to eat because of the tension hanging in the air around her. She looked to her left and saw that Bill had already finished his food, but she noticed that he had a pencil and he was sketching away at something on a piece of paper that he had brought down from his bedroom. It wouldn't be until three months later that she realized that the picture he had drawn was of her, Amber, and Justin; and she never knew how much he would cherish this drawing.

She looked around and saw the two adults either in front of her or to her right: Zachary and Sharon Denbrough. The both of them were silent, and they weren't talking that much; she noted that Zack was skimming through the Daily Derry newspaper and that he was still in his overalls from his workplace known as the Derry Public Works. He worked for the town's hydroelectric system, according to Bill, and he used to be a kind man that always welcomed Steph into the Denbrough home.... That was until Georgie's disappearance nine months ago now.

Sharon was washing the dishes in the sink to Steph's right, and she was just silent in general. Since that fateful day in October of 1988, the mother of Bill and Georgie refused to talk to Steph or even acknowledge that she was there every time the blonde had come over to see her friend. It was like the home had been officially filled with hatred towards her and that she was a trespasser, which was why she rarely visited. It had been Bill's idea for her to come over, because he had wanted to attempt a form of communication between his best friend and his parents.

Needless to say, it wasn't working out very well...

Steph could hear three distinct things: the scrubbing of a washrag against dirty dishes, the clock ticking on the wall as it sat diagonally to the left of the refrigerator in front of her, and the scratching of pencil against paper because of Bill as he was adding the final details to the drawing. The noises sounded even louder than usual, probably because of the quiet nature of the situation she was now stuck in, and it was to the point that it nearly hurt her ears. She hated the pure nothingness that filled the kitchen but she didn't have nearly enough courage to speak up about it.

So, instead of actually talking about it, she reached over the table and took Bill's right hand into her left one to offer him and herself comfort. He paused his drawing and glanced over at her with a smile, even moving their hands to be under the table so his parents wouldn't see and question them. He was blushing just slightly, however, which was a hint that his feelings towards Steph were growing stronger with each passing day and he wanted nothing more than to just be around her. He even wanted to be alone with her so he could hold her and keep her comforted, but he knew it would be rude if he just walked out of the kitchen without excusing himself.

He still intertwined his fingers with Steph's before turning back and finishing his drawing; he then flipped the piece of paper over before sparing another look towards his crush. He was smiling a little more and this was when he found motivation to talk to his father, an idea forming in his mind.

"Did you guys see the b-br-brochure...?" he asked optimistically, looking over towards his father. The sensation of air suddenly drained from the room... at least, it did so for Steph as she examined what had just happened, and it even made her squeeze Bill's hand even tighter than usual. He noticed, and did the same in return to provide her relaxation, despite being confused about the concerned look in her eyes.

There wasn't a response for a good ten seconds, which Bill pretty much expected but what he didn't see coming was his dad actually speaking to him.

"Sorry?" he replied in a questioning manner, asking for his son to repeat what he was saying, but he was still flipping through his newspaper and not paying attention too much.

Bill took a short but deep breath before continuing what he was saying, still holding Steph's hand under the kitchen table. "Acadia," he explained simply, noticing his mother freezing in place for a moment. "I-I th-th-thought we could start planning our park trip th-this year..."

Now the air was gone from the room, as Steph could no longer hear the rustling of the newspaper, since Zack had stopped flipping through it. She glanced upward and saw that he was now looking down, although he was still holding the item in his hands. She could sense that he was thinking about how his wife would react, and she noted that the red-headed woman was clenching the washrag she had been using to scrub a dinner plate in her right hand and the dish was in her left. A frown etched itself into the blonde girl's face and her heart began to pick up its pace in beating, nervousness growing within her.

"O-O-Otter Cove," Bill suggested, a little more hopeful now.

"Bill..." Steph whispered, warning him a little bit.

But he didn't listen.

"Bubble Pond," he continued, shrugging his shoulders.

"Bill," she cautioned, gritting her teeth.

"Cadillac M-Muh-Mountain..."

"Bill!"

Before the girl could shut him up, she heard a loud splashing sound coming from the sink and she even felt a few drops of water and soap suds hit her arm and face. Her eyes grew wider, her heartbeat even louder and quicker than ever now, and her hands formed into fists. She felt as though she couldn't even be able to breathe as her eyes shut this time, and she tried to take deep breaths. It didn't work.

She then heard stomping going up the stairs and that made her open her eyes. Sharon had vanished, leaving the sink faucet running; Steph wanted to get up and turn it off, but Zack was already taking care of that for her.

"Wuh-What did I s-s-say...?" Bill asked hesitantly, looking at his dad again, and that made Steph loosen her grip on the boy's hand.

Steph heard the water faucet being shut off, and that made her sigh ever so slightly with relief, but that didn't make the tension in her shoulders fade away.

"Sorry, champ," Zack mumbled as he closed his eyes, fiddling with the wedding band on the ring finger of his left hand. It was obvious that he was too upset to even look his oldest boy in the eye. "Your mom and I.... We..."

"I-I-If it's about money, I'll mow lawns, puh-paint fences, whatever," Bill offered in return, about to stand up in an attempt to comfort his father.

"It's not that..."

Steph looked over at the middle-aged man and noticed that he was about to leave the room, and she actually wanted to stop him, but she didn't know why. She just stared at him and examined the pure grief in his eyes despite him not even looking at her; in fact, neither him or Sharon had even acknowledged that she was there since she had come over, and it kind of angered her. She couldn't quite explain how she felt, but she did know that the sensation in her chest was more powerful than anticipated. She subconsciously sensed her hands fading from the fists that had formed earlier.

Zack finally turned to look at Bill, not even noticing Steph sitting five feet away from him. "Your brother just looked forward to this trip so much, you know...?" he pointed out, sighing to himself. "It was his favorite..." He then walked over to his son, who was still sitting at the table, in the chair furthest from the sink and closest to the basement door that still haunted him since he saw Georgie in his basement over a month prior. The older man took the bowl of ice cream that Bill had hardly eaten from, threw it in the sink, and left the kitchen. Bill's spoon was left hanging over nothing after this.

"Mine too..." he mumbled quietly, his shoulders deflating in defeat as he finally gave up.

This made Steph snap.

"Can you go to your room, Bill?" she asked him sweetly. "Just for a little while..."

Bill looked over at her, his sad eyes making Steph's heart break further than it already had. "Wuh-What?" he replied in a questioning manner. "Why do I need to –?"

"I need to talk to your parents," Steph told him bluntly, the sweet tone vanishing from her throat instantly.

The boy that was six months older than her looked at her with wide eyes, about to shake his head at first. But, after looking into those majestic eyes of hers, he realized that there would be no talking her down in this situation. Sure, he had never talked her down intentionally, but he wanted nothing more than to prevent her from confronting his parents. He had a feeling as to what she was going to talk to his mother and father about, and he sensed that it wouldn't go well. But he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop her no matter how much he tried.

So, with that in mind, he reluctantly nodded and lumbered up the stairs; Steph could hear the door to his bedroom shutting.

After a good ten seconds of thinking about what she was going to do, she calmly stood up and carefully climbed the steep stairs. For a brief moment, she thought that she could see muddy footprints on the steps... possibly the footprints that Bill had told her about when explaining what he had seen in his basement in further detail in the clubhouse. But, when she blinked, the footprints were no longer there. Immediately forgetting that this had happened, she reached the second floor of the beautiful Denbrough house and silently glided down the hallway. Her hand formed into a gentle fist and she quietly knocked on the door to the master bedroom.

For a moment, there came no reply. Then there was a female voice that emanated from inside the freezing cold room behind the door: "Yes?"

"Mrs. Denbrough..." Steph called out softly, taking a deep breath while preparing herself for what was to come. "Can you and Mr. Denbrough

(just go to hell for all eternity for what you've done to your son)

come downstairs, please? I need to talk to you..." The hallway's homely feel suddenly vanished to what felt like a black void that Steph was standing in the middle of. She didn't like it at all. She was finally able to detect the cold and empty feel of Bill's home after almost a year, and it was the most poisonous experience she felt; it was like a disgusting ripple had traveled through her as a warning sign... almost as if It had sent the thought to her mind.

That's the first time I've thought of that thing in three days, she thought.

"I'll wait for you two downstairs," she finished when she realized that she wouldn't be getting an answer. She then walked down the stairs, but not before hearing something in her mind, and then sensing Bill's presence as if he were right next to her. He wasn't. And, although she could not hear it on the surface, she could hear sobs reverberating through the boy's head. That made her look to her left, where she could see him peeking his head out of the door, and she frowned over at him when she noticed that he had actually been crying.

(no please don't cry it's going to be okay bill i don't want you to cry)

Everything will be okay, sweet boy, she whispered in her subconscious, shooting him a sad smile that he returned a few seconds later. I'll make sure you'll be okay...

(i'll fix this)

And now she was standing in front of the refrigerator in the kitchen, her hands gripping the top of the chair that Zackary Denbrough had been sitting in five minutes prior. She was breathing deeply and contentedly as she stared down at the bright oak wood of the dinner table, her fingernails digging into the creases of the chair. She was waiting as patiently as she could but if the adults didn't come downstairs within the next two minutes, she would be storming up to their room so she could let everything out towards them for good.

Everything had built up to this moment, and she would no longer be waiting around. She was done for good and she would no longer be taking anyone's shit anymore.

She could finally hear footsteps coming down the steps... slowly, but surely. She smiled to herself as her hands finally relieved themselves from the tension that had built up within them, and the smile would have terrified anyone if they had seen it. In fact, if Bill had seen that smile, he would have been reminded of Pennywise's cruel grin when it had been impaled through the head by Beverly. But it was still a normal smile; it was still innocent and beautiful and curious, which made it unique.

Steph then looked up and nearly jumped backwards when she saw that Zack and Sharon were standing in front of her, their eyes deader than rodents lying on the side of roads in the south. Not that the blonde would know in person, but she had read about cases similar to what she had thought. She wanted nothing more than to shriek profanities at them until her throat was destroyed, or just glare at them until they went up in flames. Her mind was restlessly shuffling through her thoughts as if they were a deck of cards that could never be read. Her fingernails picked at the chair, trailing along the creases as gently as they could.

"Please sit down," she told them kindly, gesturing to the chairs that were across from one another.

Zachary and Sharon Denbrough sat down where they were told to.

And then the whole room fell silent.

Sharon noticed that Steph was more tense than usual and, with seeming concern for the first time in over half a year, leaned forward with her eyes wide. "You okay, Stephanie?" she asked the younger girl gently, but her tone was deceased. There wasn't anything there despite her trying. The motherly, pianist side of her had slipped away and died, and there was a shell left. Just a shell.

Steph looked in her direction with an incredulous glance, balking to herself. "What...?" she replied dumbly, her mouth slightly hanging open.

"You just seem really tense, sweetie," Sharon pointed out (Thanks, Captain Obvious, Steph thought) in a worried voice. "I don't know. Is something on your mind?"

Steph shrugged. "I don't know... Is there something on your mind?" she retorted, mocking Sharon. "Or... y'all's minds?"

"It just seems like you want to say something to us," Sharon mumbled, feeling idiotic immediately after.

"Oh, Sharon, I think it's really obvious that you're right," Steph scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Also, everyone calls me Steph, not Stephanie!"

"Okay, that's enough!" Zack interrupted, sighing heavily as he glared at the still pre-teen. "At this point, I don't know if you want to talk to us or if you want to just give us an attitude! So just fucking say what you want to say! And you call my wife Mrs. Denbrough, not by her first name, you little bitch!"

Steph's mental state finally broke.

"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT, YOU ASSHOLE!" she exploded at Zackary, slamming her fists on the table and making Sharon nearly leap out of her chair. "You don't EVER raise your voice to me or call me any bad names. You are no parent of mine and I'm not your child!!! I am the best friend of your son! I've done EVERYTHING to help your sweet boy! ALL I EVER DO ANYMORE IS TAKE CARE OF HIM AND PICK UP THE PIECES AFTER GEORGIE! And all I get back from you two is fucking continuous neglect towards him and constantly ignoring him!"

"We don't ignore him, Steph!" Sharon shouted as she stood up. "What are you talking about?!"

"Oh, I know you ignore him, Sharon!" Steph replied harshly. "And please sit down!" She noticed Sharon backing up fearfully as she sat down.

"Don't yell at my wife like that," Zack yelled as he also stood up, about to kick Steph out of his house. He was even tempted to slap her to shut that potty mouth of hers.

"You sit the FUCK down, Zackary!!!" Steph bellowed at him, seething and gritting her teeth as drool dripped from her chapped lips. "And shut up!"

After Zackary sat down, the girl leaned forward on the table, gripping the top of the chair as she stared at both of them. Her eyes were wild and insane... possibly for the first time in her entire life. "Now you two listen to me..." she growled at them. "All I've seen from you is disdain and resentment for your son! And you seem to be so flipping annoyed whenever I'm around. Well, guess what? Your son is DEAD! And I know you miss him, and I know how much it hurts. It hurts me, too, since he was like a little brother to me and I loved him dearly. I wish I could take the pain away from all of you and place it on myself. I wish I could hide you from what happened, but Georgie is dead! He's gone and he'll be gone FOREVER! And, instead of what you've been doing, you could've comforted your oldest child and told him that everything would be okay. But what you did is turn your lovely home into a fucking nightmare! You've IGNORED Bill and you've emotionally tortured him by basically having him take care of himself with no love in the house. Bill is THIRTEEN YEARS OLD. He's still a CHILD. So take care of him for Christ's sake! Because you haven't even made an attempt to even talk to him for real... because.... BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT HIM!!!!!"

By the time Steph was done screaming at the middle-aged adults, she was heaving and her eyes were wide and psychotic.... It was as if she had been driven towards madness because of the emotional torment she had suffered through. The rage inside of her had boiled up to the surface for nearly a year and it finally unleashed at its worst opportunity.

But she was finally calm. The rage-filled Steph was gone, and it was replaced with a soft and sweet side of her.

"Now..." she finally spoke up after a full two and a half minutes of stunned and halted silence. "I'm going to take Bill another bowl of ice cream since you tossed his first one into the sink when he hadn't even finished it." She glared nastily at Zack as she said this. "And I want you two to think about everything you've done. And just so you know... I've been caring for him far more than you ever have."

And so she went to the freezer and grabbed the container of cookies & cream ice cream, took a bowl out of one of the cabinets, and placed three scoops of it into the dish. She then walked back up the stairs, not even looking back at the parents of the boy that she cared so deeply for since she had met him when she was nine. She then walked down the hallway, the inside of the house feeling warmer in atmosphere ever since she let out her anger. She even had the crazy thought that things would become better soon after tonight.

Little did she know, poor Stephanie Palmer would be horribly wrong.

She didn't even bother knocking on the door this time, unlike when she first comforted him after Georgie's disappearance almost ten months ago now. She peeked her head into the bedroom and saw Bill immediately, and he was looking in her direction. She noticed his tear-stained cheeks and she frantically walked over to him, placing the bowl of ice cream down on his nightstand. "Oh, Bill..." she whispered, timidly stepping up to him and looking down at him. When she saw him leaning away out of fear, possibly from hearing her screaming at his parents a few minutes earlier, her heart broke for him.

"Bill, I'm not going to yell at you..." she murmured gently, taking his hands into hers and cradling them lovingly. "I'm sorry if I upset you..."

"I-I-It's o-okay..." Bill stammered, his stutter worsening with his crying. "I was just scared th-th-th-th-that my parents would sc-scream at y-you... I didn't wuh-want them to hurt you... You shouldn't have duh-done what you did..."

Steph fell silent for a moment before moving her hands to hold Bill's face in order to comfort him. She stared into his eyes deeply so she could provide solace as she rested her forehead against his. "I had to..." she mumbled to him, her eyes filling with tears. "I couldn't stand them treating you horribly anymore and I don't want you to hurt. I'm trying to help you because you're hurting and so am I... I care about you so much, Bill. If they continue to do this to you, God knows what will happen. And I don't want anything to happen to you, sweet boy..."

She could feel Bill's face growing warm under her hands as a pink color swarmed him out of shyness. It made her smile down at him, and he smiled back as he began to cheer up. Steph's heart lifted majorly when she saw the adorable sight and it even caused her to giggle, which was an enchanting sound that Bill would replay in his dreams later that night.

It was then Steph's turn to blush when he placed a hand on her left cheek and another on her right hand that was on his face. She leaned into his touch as she became sheepish and quiet, and she even closed her eyes. She would then hear him say six words that would repeat in her subconscious for many years to come... almost three decades, in fact:

"You're such a sweet girl, Steph..."

There was no stutter in his voice.

This made her pull Bill into a hug, still standing up while he kept sitting on the bed. He was hesitant to hug back, asking her if it was okay for him to rest his head against her chest while they hugged. She nodded her head as she gave him her signature sweet smile, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead that made his blush harsher than expected. She just held him close to her for a full minute as her head rested on his, but she eventually had to remind him that his ice cream would melt if he didn't eat it.

But he just kept hugging her.

Steph finally found the inspiration to begin strumming properly on her acoustic guitar, the smallest and most hopeful smile on her face. The pick she was using plucked at the strings in a perfect way that drowned out all sound around her and she was barely able to notice her neighbor from across the street, Annie Graham, putting a suitcase into her parents' car. Annie was eighteen and was about to leave for the Savannah College of Art & Design in Georgia within the next month, where she would major in photography. Steph would never see her again after the fifth day of August.

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well, as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love, it's suicide

The first four verses belted out of her lips along with the timing of the strums, but it was in a quiet murmur, almost as if she were putting a baby to sleep. It was the first time she had sung in four months, and it felt absolutely strange to her that her voice was coming out in harmonious musical notes again. It was the longest she had spent away from actually playing the guitar, although she wouldn't have been able to resist tapping a few of the strings every now and then.

You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

The song she was singing was one of her absolute favorites, I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi. This was mostly because it reminded her of her complicated relationship with Bill.

In fact, thinking about the situation she was stuck in nearly brought another tear to her eye, but she managed to avoid it this time. There would be no more crying, especially not today because she was celebrating her birthday and it wasn't supposed to be depressing. In fact, she felt more faith begin to fill her heart as she continued to strum for almost six minutes straight and the song went on... and on... and on....

She wasn't even aware of two people walking up to her two-story home and having a conversation with each other. She just kept focusing on what she was singing, too distracted but concentrated all at the same time and she didn't want her attention to drift away from what she was doing. She even strummed harder than she anticipated and her voice raised a few octaves, but she still wasn't yelling because she didn't want to be a disturbance to the neighbors. In a way, she was healing herself...

She wasn't being a normal teenage girl. She was being a normal human being that was enjoying something she loved.

She was alive... more alive than she was during October of 1988.

I'd love and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

She concluded the song with one final strum of her guitar, staring down at the front porch that her feet were now planted on. She then slowly looked up and a flash of embarrassment screamed throughout her as she placed her small hands on top of the instrument she held, her entire face redder than it had ever been. She would rather have been centimeters from Bill and about to kiss him than being discovered singing by anyone other than her mother, Amber, or Justin. The blush had overtaken every inch of her, even covering her bare shoulders due to the spaghetti straps of her dress making them visible.

Her gentle soul was finally vulnerable and out in the open.

But, instead of seeing her best friends laughing and pointing at her, they were just smiling at her. Beverly's smile was very proud and confident as she slowly clapped her hands together in an action of praising the blonde girl that was shorter than her. Bill's smile was one filled with a sense of longing and he wanted nothing more than to walk over to her and hold her hands to draw her away from the embarrassment. Looking at the beautiful girl at the moment made him imagine a day where he would finally get to kiss her. He pictured them standing in the middle of a field as he stood inches from her, staring deeply into her eyes. She was standing directly in front of him, no makeup caked onto her face, and her blonde hair looked as if a curling iron hadn't touched it whatsoever.

Oh, that hair, Bill thought to himself, smiling even more. So messy, yet so gorgeous like her. I wonder how soft it feels.

He imagined her placing her freezing cold hands on either side of his face and asking if she could kiss him. In the daydream, he nodded and put his hands on the middle of her back so that he could pull her closer to him. He envisioned kissing her in the gentlest way possible, keeping her close to prevent her knees from buckling, despite his own legs wobbling from nervousness. He felt as though he were finally at the home that would welcome him with open arms...

He snapped out of his fantasy when he saw a hand waving in front of him; Beverly's hand. Bill blinked a few times before realizing that he had stared at Steph for a little too long, and it made him blush worse than he ever had. After ducking his head down for a moment, he had the feeling that the girl he was falling in love with knew exactly what he had been thinking about, and that just made the blush even more evident. He heard her giggle the same giggle he had the blessing of being able to hear when she was at his house a mere week ago.

As Steph looked towards Bill from her porch swing, she knew that she would remember this small moment forever.

But, perhaps, what she did not know was that her own interpretation of forever would only be two weeks.

Steph stood up, lowering her guitar to the level of her right hip as she grinned over to them; her yellow dress fluttered briefly in the wind as she walked over to the front stairs, leaning against one of the columns that held up the roof of her house. "How are my lovely friends doing?!" she called out in a semi-cheerful, semi-sad greeting, her blonde hair bouncing a little bit as she took a few steps forward.

"Doing mighty fine, thank you, Little Loser!" Beverly replied with a big smile, walking up the porch steps and pulling Steph into a hug as she laughed. "You doing okay?" She pulled back and looked down at the shorter blonde girl that was finally her age.

The teenager nodded a little as she smiled back, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "Yeah, I guess," she responded with a soft giggle. "Today just feels weird for me..."

"I imagine so," remarked Beverly as she placed her hands on her hips. "You've finally entered your teenage years! Happy Birthday, you silly goose..." She then ruffled up Steph's hair to where it was messier than before as she chuckled to herself, laughing even more when the girl playfully swatted her hand away.

"Thanks, Bev," Steph said timidly, her heart leaping with true joy for the first time in a few weeks. "You can go ahead and go on inside if you want to. I'm sure Amber and Justin would love to see you."

The redhead grinned as she nodded, patting Steph's shoulder for a moment before jogging into the house and shouting for the two kids the blonde had just mentioned. Steph could only hear Amber shrieking with delight as she presumably hugged Beverly, and the smallest frown

(he didn't greet her i thought he would because he's really close with her but i didn't hear him yell out of happiness he didn't say anything at all)

fell upon her face.

(poor justin poor kid he shouldn't be going through this)

"Are you a-a-alright, Steph?"

Steph didn't jump or even flinch at the voice, but a smile did touch her lips and followed the previous frown in its footsteps. She turned to look at Bill, who was now standing closer to her with a look of slight concern on his face; despite the pure happiness she felt upon seeing him, she felt a new sense of dread, and it was far greater than anything she had felt in her life before. She suddenly wanted to pull Bill to her and shield him from whatever danger lurked behind the bushes surrounding the house

(there's nothing here though why are you so scared)

but she didn't dare do so out of fear of looking ridiculous.

So, instead of doing what she wished to do, she just smiled at the taller boy and reached out a hand to take his and provide some comfort. "Sure, Bill," she said, just barely nodding. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Yuh-You just seemed as though you w-w-were in another world for a moment," he pointed out with a slight chuckle, looking down for a brief moment and clutching the gift he had brought for Steph closer to his chest. "I-I-I'm sorry if that makes me suh-sound stupid or something."

"No... No, it doesn't," Steph assured him, smirking at him out of confusion rather than in a teasing way. "I understand why you would think that... I guess I was in another place for a second."

Bill nodded briefly before holding out the small box to her, his hands trembling ever so lightly. "Huh-Here," he mumbled meekly, smiling hopefully. "I didn't have a l-l-l-l-lot of money to get you s-suh-something nice but I hope you like i-i-it..." When he felt her fingers brush against his while taking the box from him, he let out a nervous breath and glanced towards the freshly cut grass for just a split second.

"Bill, you know I'll like anything you or the others give me..." Steph stated as she jokingly glared at him as a warning to him so he wouldn't put himself down. Then she gently opened the blue cardboard box so she wouldn't damage it in any way and paused at what she saw inside of it, glancing up at her crush again. "You got me a necklace?" she added questioningly, smiling lightly as she took it out of the box, the golden chain dangling from her hand as she examined the piece of jewelry.

"O-Open it," Bill told her, stepping closer to her as he smiled even more. "It's a locket... There's a p-pic-picture inside...."

Steph did as she was told, using her short fingernails to pry open the circular portion of the locket, and she stared at it in awe. Tears welled up in her eyes but they weren't able to shed since she blinked them away and she was looking back and forth between Bill and the picture that lay inside the locket. She was able to see herself and her seven friends bunched up together inside the circle, smiling towards whatever camera had been provided for them. Then she was able to recognize the pink shirt she was wearing in the photo; this was taken just a day after Daniel's funeral, when Richie had suggested they go watch Ghostbusters II at the Aladdin Theater to cheer her up.

The eight of them had squeezed their way into the photo booth in the lobby where several arcade games had been set up for younger kids to play on. Steph had been sitting in between Mike and Ben in the picture but she was giving Richie bunny ears in it, and that aspect made her giggle a little. Within that giggle was also a barely noticeable whimper of despair, but it was more muffled and hidden.

She caressed the photo delicately, afraid it would vanish before her eyes in seconds. Oh, how she missed the rest of her friends so dearly... She had already made amends with Ben but, then again, he was a very forgiving boy. The others, however... not so much. She was forced to live without the good times of hanging out with the other boys that were like family to her. Besides her mother and Justin and Amber and Danny, the Losers were all she had to be around and, despite that quite a few of them had shown up today, she felt more alone than ever.

Despite this, she put the locket over her head and let it hang from her neck, resisting the urge to just hand it back to Bill because of how much it hurt to see that picture. "Thank you, Bill..." she whispered, looking up at him with a painfully sweet smile. "I... I love this... It's better than anything else you could've gotten me. I appreciate it..."

"Are y-y-you sure you like it...?" he murmured, his eyes widening out of anticipation and hope. He still felt bad for not getting her anything nicer; he wasn't trying to impress her, he just wanted to give her something out of the kindness of his pure heart.

Steph stepped forward and took Bill's hands into hers, and she leaned forward to peck his cheek, blushing more furiously than ever. "Does... Does that answer your question...?" she asked sheepishly, pulling back to examine the look on his face.

Bill nodded shyly, his blood rushing to his face more rapidly than he could have realized as he stared down at her, practically grinning like an idiot. In that split second of once again being in shock of how sweet Steph could possibly be, he became aware of something towards her that he thought he wouldn't ever be able to feel around her. He had only felt a stupid schoolboy crush whenever he saw Steph or thought about her in his daydreams whenever he was drawing or writing. He remembered drawing a picture of her right before he fell asleep a mere month ago... right before awakening in the middle of the night to a thunderstorm... right before seeing Georgie in his basement.... In the drawing, she looked just as he had seen her when she was walking down the sidewalk just outside of the pharmacy where they were patching up Ben in the alleyway.

And now... he was dismally aware of something in his heart that had grown much fonder as he admired the girl that was just less than half a foot shorter than him. His first instinct told him that things were moving too fast and the two weren't even together yet but the second instinct told him to follow along with the feelings that had suddenly come upon him.

(i think i love her and not just the way friends love one another i think i really love her)

For one fleeting moment, their eyes locked directly for the first time since cleaning Beverly's bloody bathroom in her apartment. This time, Bill did not shy away from her endearing gaze as she quietly thanked him for the gift again, and the look in his eyes was firm... adult, even.

"It was no pr-problem..." he replied gently, smiling softly at her now.

(i think i really love her she's so beautiful she appreciates the smallest things she's amazing and if she held my hand i think i'd be so glad i'd probably die)

The thought disappeared as soon as it had arrived, but he did notice that Steph looked a little more confident than usual. He saw her tilt her head backwards a little in order to look at him better, and her blonde hair hung from her head as though it were a crown. Her face was red from the blush that had taken over permanently, but the expression in her eyes was lovely.

"I honestly don't know why I did that," she said, "but I felt as though it were right.... Do you wanna go inside?"

"Sh-Sh-Sure," Bill said. He then took Steph's hand into his in a shy manner, sighing from relief when she interlocked her fingers with his.

The two then walked into the house, happy to finally join the girl's birthday party.

_____

The birthday dinner that was being served to the kids surrounding the table would be cooked by Jamie, whom Steph had gotten her skills of the task from. She was doing something simple: she was making spaghetti, which was one of her favorite things to cook. She discovered that she hadn't made this in several months, which surprised her, since she should have most definitely noticed that she hadn't.

She saw that her daughter was already sitting at the dining table with Bill and Beverly (Cherokee was lying by the blonde's feet), and Jamie saw the silver watch residing on the girl's left wrist. The watch had belonged to Jonathan and the woman had given it to her little girl as a birthday gift, which Steph truly appreciated and she vowed to never take it off... well, unless she was going to bed or taking a shower. The middle-aged woman had felt as though now was the correct time to give her the watch, seeing as how a curfew was in effect, after all. She didn't know it yet but it seemed as though she were the only adult in Derry that didn't suffer the side effect of the evil plaguing the small town. In other words, she wasn't affected by the ignorance that every other parent had, much to her internal relief.

She often looked after her daughter because of a vow she made to herself; she had decided that she would teach her daughter to not be a monster like she used to be. In college when she was in New York City, she was the worst person you could ever be around. She was one of the biggest bullies known to mankind and she thought she was better than everyone in the school, and everybody despised her. But, when she met Jonathan, everything changed. He had her change her ways and she became a much better person after realizing how horrible she had been; as a result, she made amends with the people she bullied and even became friends with a few of them, she was much nicer and more cheerful, and she fell in love with the now deceased man that had helped her so much.

Jamie had chosen to not let the grief from her husband's death overshadow her love for her daughter and she spent as much of her free time with Steph as she could, despite the diabetes becoming worse with each passing day. She was proud of her only child for not following in her footsteps but she didn't vocalize this, not wanting to embarrass the young girl. She even tried to cut ties between her daughter and her little sister, Sue, after finding out that she had bullied that poor Carrie White girl and (supposedly) caused the Black Prom to occur in her hometown of Chamberlain.

(she told me many times that she didn't cause it that she even had her boyfriend take that poor girl to prom as a way to say she was sorry)

She had slowly begun to forgive Sue over the ten years that had followed since the tragedy, and was just relieved that her baby sister hadn't died there. She truly loved her sibling and decided to prove this by visiting her every now and then so they could fix their relationship. Sue lived in Connecticut now, which was five hours away from Derry, but she visited her once a month and even let her come to her house every now and then to visit Steph.

(maybe it wasn't her fault after all maybe there was someone else that caused that horrible disaster)

She glanced over at her daughter and her two friends sitting at the kitchen table and talking animatedly. Jamie wished that the rest of Steph's group of friends could have joined them for the dinner, but the girl had explained that they weren't on the best terms because of Eddie's mother. Jamie never liked Sonia Kaspbrak, even noticing how overprotective she was of her son, and she thought her own protectiveness over Steph was bad. Hell, it was nothing compared to how obsessed Sonia was about not allowing Eddie to even get the most minor of injuries.

Despite his overbearing mother, Jamie thought Eddie was still a good kid. In fact, she was fond of all of Steph's friends because of how well they treated her and she always allowed for them to come over out of wanting her daughter to hang out with kids her age... well, ones that would accept her for who she really was, at least. She admired certain aspects of each person in Steph's friend group:

Richie; his confidence and his ability to cheer Steph up whenever she was upset.

Eddie; the fact that he still had strength despite his mother and his protectiveness of Steph, but this was out of genuine care and not obsession.

Mike; despite only knowing him for a month, she grew to like how much of a gentleman the kid was and she liked how respectful he was to her daughter.

Stan; she knew he was Steph's closest friend of the boys and she could easily see why, since he was quiet just like her.

Ben; she hadn't known him for very long either but he liked to talk to the woman more than she thought, since he was very good friends with Steph as well.

Beverly; her spunky nature and boisterous attitude. In fact, she and Steph were complete opposites of each other and they still had the greatest friendship regardless.

And Bill; the fact that he had so much respect for the woman and her daughter made Jamie respect him in return. And she knew damn well that he had a crush on Steph because he couldn't hide anything worth a shit. Besides, Bill had been treating Jamie as his second mother since Georgie's disappearance, and she greatly appreciated that.

She looked back at the stove after a good minute and was able to finish cooking the spaghetti, putting the sauce and hamburger meat over the noodles after draining them. She then called the teenagers over to get a plate or bowl for their meal, already having done so herself, before going to the refrigerator and getting out some parmesan cheese in case the others wanted it.

_____

Sitting down at the table after fixing herself a plate of spaghetti, Steph tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before calling the two children into the kitchen. She then got up and grabbed a bowl for Amber once she saw her jogging into the kitchen with a brighter smile than before, and she helped her fix up her meal before doing the same for Justin. The boy was still silent, but it was clear that he was trying to open up around her in some way and it made her feel somewhat proud of him.

The blonde girl chose to have the two kids sit on either side of her while Bill and Beverly sat on the other side of the table and Jamie sat alone on one small side. She looked at everyone surrounding her and was just grateful that she didn't feel lonely at that moment, despite not having as many people near her as she wanted there to be.

For the next twenty minutes, the six of them just sat at the table and ate their birthday dinner, making the most of their time and exchanging small talk every once in a while. The three teenagers were the most talkative, obviously, mostly talking about their excitement and nervousness for high school, which would arrive in just over a month and a half come September. Jamie joined in on the conversation, eventually asking the three how each of their summers were going. All three of them had different responses:

"Eh, it could be better, but I made new friends!" Beverly's reply.

"I-I-It's been good..." Bill's reply.

"It's been great!" Steph's reply.

All of them were lies, but the three would never admit that, mostly based on the knowing glances they secretly shared between themselves when Jamie wasn't looking.

We're just spouting out bullshit for the sake of doing so, Steph thought for a brief moment before going back to finishing her food. She tried to eat a little quicker than normal, mostly so she could get herself out of the kitchen as fast as possible so she wouldn't be feeling awkward. This was especially after noticing Bill's stare piercing through her soul and she knew what that look spoke: "Don't tell her a word about what we're going through."

Sure thing, Denbrough, she slyly thought to herself, the faintest smirk making her lips curl.

She wished that she could tell her mother what was really going on. But she knew that she couldn't, because she didn't want to become institutionalized like Daniel.

Oh, poor Daniel O'Connor...

"I heard that some supplies for school will be on sale this weekend," Jamie informed Steph, a hopeful smile on her gentle face. "Maybe we can go to the store and buy some of them to get you ready for freshman year!"

I don't need school supplies... I need to scream. The thought intruded Steph's mind like a horrific nightmare. I need to grab Mom and yell at her about what's really happening. I need to lose my mind in front of her. I need to get her to believe me. I need to grab her gun and go after It....

"That would be nice," Steph actually said in her sweet, innocent voice that totally didn't expose how tense and insane she felt in her soul.

She just had to put up an act in front of her mother. Go back to being the good ole' Stephanie Rose she was. It wouldn't be much longer for that to be a reality... just a few more weeks. Then Pennywise – Bob Gray or It – would be going back into hibernation...

...for twenty-seven years.

And then it would be officially over.

For now.

Jamie nodded, smiling at her daughter but taking note of her small hands now being clenched into fists. The sight of that made her feel a little uneasy... a little bit of fear for her child entered her mind, even. She made a mental reminder to ask Steph about what was going on eventually, maybe not today or tomorrow, but definitely sometime soon. Probably within the next few weeks.

Little did she know that Steph was already onto her when it came to her suspicions. And she had no clue that she wouldn't get the chance to ask her only child anything.

Steph suddenly heard the sound of a chair to her left scraping the bottoms of its legs against the hardwood floor. She whipped her head around just to see Justin taking off towards the front door as his loud footsteps echoed throughout the whole house before the door opened and slammed shut; she then noticed that he hadn't taken a single bite of his spaghetti and that only made her sympathy and concern grow twice as much as there had already been. She sighed to herself and took her empty bowl and fork to the sink, silently vowing to wash them later.

"Yuh-You want me to go talk to h-h-huh-him?" Bill asked, his tentative voice reaching Steph's ears very clearly.

Shaking her head, the blonde began making her way towards the front door as she took a slow and deep breath. "No, I'll talk to him," she mumbled under her breath.

She was outside in a matter of seconds, looking all over the yard for the nine-year-old; Steph eventually found him sitting down in front of the big tree by the sidewalk leading to the road. She slowly walked over to him and sat down, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder as she smiled sympathetically.

"You okay, kiddo?" Steph asked Justin gently, sighing a little bit to herself as she glanced at him. Her heart sank slightly when the boy shook his head. "Do you want to talk about it? Are you just not feeling the party today or...?"

"Not really..." Justin mumbled as a few tears fell down his young face. He frantically wiped them away as he started explaining everything... maybe too much for a little boy to handle. It was the first time he really spoke in weeks. "I've just been hurting a lot lately, Steph. I wanted to talk to you about it, but..." He paused, hesitating about continuing that sentence.

"But what, sweetie?" Steph asked, pondering about what he was going to say.

"I just... I thought you would say I was stupid for being sad about Dad dying and all of that," Justin finished as he sniffed, wiping yet another tear away.

Steph's eyes widened before they became sorrowful and she gently brought Justin into a hug... an almost motherly hug for the time being. "Don't ever say that again," she murmured soothingly to him as a single tear trickled down her left cheek. "You're not stupid for hurting. Nobody is stupid for hurting, especially you, okay? I've been hurt before... literally everyone has been hurt before, so don't think you're stupid for either hurting over something simple or grieving. Nobody will think you're stupid or dumb for that, you know?"

Justin slowly nodded and he rested his head on Steph's shoulder, glad he had someone there for him through this tough time. "Thanks," he whispered, closing his eyes briefly. He was tempted to bring up his constant nightmares of the clown that lived underground. He decided to keep his mouth shut, however, out of fear of sounding crazy.

"Don't mention it, kiddo," Steph replied as she kept him in a protective embrace. No words needed to be said anymore, since all she needed to do was comfort the poor child. She just silently prayed that everything would get better for the both of them.

Little did she know, however, things would get so much worse from here on out....

A/N: ONCE AGAIN, that was a lot to take in.

ANYWAYS, thoughts on this chapter? did you like it? what was your favorite part?

what did you think of the moment where steph had that conversation with pennywise? that was a reference to scream 5, by the way!😉

i feel so bad for justin. he's just struggling so much with the grief of his father's death.☹️

thoughts on the scene where steph finally confronted bill's parents? it's about damn time someone stood up and knocked some sense into them!

did you like the moment where steph sang that song?

what about when beverly and bill showed up? and bill's fantasy of his first kiss with steph?

what about the part where bill gave steph that locket and came to the realization that he truly loves her?

did you like the slight expansion of jamie's past and her slight connection to the novel 'Carrie' through her sister? there will be more of that later on, as well as some backstory about steph's father!

what about when steph comforted justin? she truly loves him and amber like they're her own children.

predictions for the next chapter? everything goes downhill from here, guys, so be prepared...😔

be looking forward to the next chapter! and i will close off on a small manip gif i made of bill and steph!

-denbroughswife