( DISCLAIMER: the face claim for the character of samantha williams is sigourney weaver; also TW: there is a mention of suicide towards the end of the chapter )

Adult Amber
Four Days Earlier
May 25th, 1990

The sirens were blaring in her ears as she hesitated for just a moment to step out of her truck, but she knew she had a job to do. She couldn't throw over fifteen years training for the police force away just for two cases of deaths that had taken place; despite her hardened expression, the horror from hearing the children's names over the police scanner on her dashboard just kept repeating in her mind.

We have two reports of bodies having been found on Witcham Street, neighbors. Names are Laurie Anne Winterbarger and Lisa Albrecht. Both around seven to eight years old.

Despite not knowing who either of those kids were very well, the news still stung Amber very deeply and it rocked her world just as much as the previous one... and the one prior to the previous one, and so on. She knew that was the one aspect that wouldn't change about the recent murders.

As rain pelted down on her (despite the poncho she was wearing) harder than it had in years, she exited her truck and walked towards the two houses as they were being taped off from other civilians. She noticed a hysterical woman being held by one of the officers as she sobbed eccentrically while everyone else around the homes stared at her blankly as if they were confused. Seeing this, Amber calmly walked up to the woman and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"Mrs. Winterbarger, please remain calm," she said carefully as she tried to lock eyes with her. "I know that what happened was horrible but I'm gonna need you to stay coherent for questioning."

"What could you possibly question me about?!" Mrs. Winterbarger wailed in her face as more tears fell from her eyes, shaking her head frantically. "My daughter was just murdered and you want to question me?!?!"

"Ma'am, I'm just trying to do my job," Amber tried to reason with her. "I sympathize with you greatly and I apologize for your loss but we need to question you."

"You're not doing your job!" cried out the older woman. "What a shitty excuse of a sheriff you are, Amber!"

Amber bit back the urge to shout at the grieving woman and just simply walked away, not having the time for an argument that would amount to nothing. She made her way to the caution tape and lifted it up so she could step under it, flashing her badge at the other officers to announce her presence and they nodded respectfully.

"What do we have?" she asked authoritatively as she peered at Deputy Williams, struggling to fight against the subtle blush and secretive smile that threatened to invade her face.

Samantha Williams, who was only a year or two older than Amber, but who towered over her since she was exactly six feet tall, pointed towards the crime scene as the rain soaked a few strands of her black hair. "We got a frantic call from Mrs. Winterbarger after she found her daughter maimed and mutilated by the hanging laundry around thirty minutes ago," she told her. "Her body was already taken away, we didn't want her parents to see that again. But... Lisa Albrecht... hers may have been worse."

Amber narrowed her eyes at the taller woman out of confusion. "What do you mean hers was worse?"

It was then that Samantha led her to the Albrecht residence, where the crime scene still hadn't been cleared just yet. They tentatively climbed the stairs to the second floor once inside and they could hear the weeping of Mrs. Albrecht from what seemed to be the kitchen as they went to investigate. The silence between them was rather awkward due to past events but they knew they had to look past them in order to do their jobs.

Then they entered the room of what seemed to be a very young girl and a wave of nostalgia washed over Amber as memories overwhelmed her. She tensed up and took a deep breath to try and suppress them again; although it was working, she knew they would come back regardless.

But there seemed to be nothing off with the room at all.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" she asked quietly as she looked at Samantha.

"The closet," was all Samantha said in return, and that made Amber turn to look at the open closet door.

What she saw made her recoil in absolute horror and shock, covering her mouth to stop the scream that nearly burst out of her. "What the hell?!" she exclaimed, her voice muffled by her hand.

In that moment, she was able to visualize what had happened to make Mrs. Albrecht call the Derry Police Station. She must've gone to her daughter's room to wake her up for breakfast, only she couldn't find her at first. When she opened the sliding door to the closet, she fell back as she screamed in terror.

Lisa's body was curled into a ball in the back corner of the tiny closet, her frozen hands gripping her hair as if she were trying to tear it out of her scalp. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head and her mouth was open so widely that Amber was convinced that her jaw had been broken, and her skin was a greenish-gray color and seemed to already be decomposing. Her face was an eternal scream at what seemed to be nothing.

Although Amber entirely knew who had done this to the poor girl, she didn't know how on Earth Pennywise was able to do this. This was a death that had never taken place before.

After the body was loaded onto a stretcher, Amber stood next to her police truck as she struggled to breathe properly. Preventing a panic attack wasn't the easiest thing to do, especially after seeing the most disturbing thing on the job by far. Inhaling deep lungfuls of air proved to be extremely challenging and it made her wish that she was able to light up a cigarette, but she knew she couldn't thanks to the rain.

Thankfully, said rain was beginning to clear up but, just as it did, she heard the voice of Deputy Wallace speak up.

"The Sheriff's gonna have a cow if she sees you nosing around, Mike," he said in a rather stern voice that Amber never really liked too much.

"Well, I won't tell her if you don't. Whatcha got, Sam?" came her best friend's voice from behind the ambulance and that was enough to pull her out of her small panic attack and she stepped over to where the argument had spawned from.

"There's not much left of the Winterbarger girl..." Samuel said. "Just like the last time. And the Albrecht girl –"

"Was found with her mouth wide open like a scream," Amber interrupted with a tight voice as she raised her eyebrow at her deputy.

"Miss O'Connor," Samuel said awkwardly, clearing his throat.

"Mike can be here, remember?" she replied. "He's a friend so I don't mind. Besides, it's personal for the both of us."

"I understand what happened to you thirty years ago with your brother, I get that. But he has no business snooping around when it's not his case to –"

"Wallace, if I say he can be here, then he can be here," Amber shut him down instantly. "I'm the one with the Sheriff's badge and I call the shots, that's the way it's gonna be. Understood?"

Wallace sighed deeply as he reluctantly nodded. "Yes, ma'am." And he then walked away.

"How bad was it?" Mike asked quietly as soon as Wallace was out of earshot.

"I need to get drunk," Amber said in a deadpan voice. "Do you have vodka at the library, by any chance?"

"Nah. Just whiskey and bourbon."

"Damn," she muttered as she withdrew a cigarette since it was only sprinkling now. "You got a lighter?"

Mike grabbed a spare lighter from his pocket and lit the cigarette for Amber, and she drew in a large lungful of smoke with trembling hands before blowing it out. She then sighed with relief, glad it was helping her for the time being.

"I've never seen anything that bad before, Mike," she whispered almost meekly, looking up at him. "I'm honestly glad you weren't here to see it. I mean, it was even worse than what I was told about the Winterbarger kid. I've never... In all my life have I never seen a face look like Lisa's did. Her poor mother..."

"There's something terribly wrong here in Derry..." Mike said absently. "I think it's time, don't you think?"

Amber's shoulders went rigid as she stared at Mike in surprise, her eyes a little wider than before. "Michael... are you sure you want to drag our friends into this? I'm sure they don't even remember...."

"The more helping hands, the better chance we have at stopping this thing," Mike pointed out with a shrug of his shoulders. "Besides, other than them and us, who else here is taking this seriously besides Samantha?"

Amber lowered her head as a memory came back to her in a rush. "You're right about that..." she said nearly inaudibly.

_____

Young Amber
June 14th, 1960

The ten-year-old girl sat on the closet rock to the small river in the Barrens as a slight trickle of rain fell down on her. Unlike other instances where she despised rain, she actually welcomed it this time and allowed it to keep her soothed and comforted as she listened to Bill's story that he had written down the night before. She was finding all of the twists fascinating and she wished that she had such talent like he did, but she knew she couldn't put herself down for not being old enough to look for careers just yet.

"They felt its breath, hot and horrible against their faces," Bill continued as Amber and Justin threw some pebbles into the river to pass time as they listened, "but at that moment, they released the stones out of the cave. Now they were back home, but nothing could change the way he felt. They had learned to be strong again. They had beaten the dragon with their magic stones, and nothing would ever be the same again."

When Bill stopped speaking, Amber brought her hands together in a clap alongside her brother and Steph, who was sitting a decent distance away from the group. The girl could notice how the blonde seemed a lot quieter than she did the previous day and she had no clue what caused that at all.

"You gotta write that one down, Bill," Eddie said excitedly. "It's my favorite."

"Really excellent!" Stan added with a smile as Beverly said the same thing.

"It was beautiful," Steph said genuinely with a tiny smile. "I wish I had your skill."

"I'm with her on that," Amber spoke up as she chuckled.

"Yeah," said Richie. "Bill's gonna leave this one-horse town and meet Sandra Dee and all the other babes in Hollywood."

When Richie said this, Amber didn't miss the subtle look of longing Steph cast towards Bill before she withdrew her gaze a little too quickly. Her face looked... sad, almost. It seemed as though she was depressed about something, but nobody else knew why that was or what it was.

"Druh-Dream on, Richie," Bill mumbled with a roll of his eyes as he walked over to the river, but even he noticed Steph's distant gaze with concern and he was reminded of their parting from yesterday. "I'm not sh-sure I wanna grow up at all!"

"Well, I do!" Eddie piped up. "I wanna be a train conductor and see the world!"

"That is if your mom will ever let you cross the street," Richie deadpanned with a smirk. "I wanna be the first rock 'n' roll singer from Derry. Either that or an impressionist."

"Your voices all sound the same, Richie," Stan pointed out as he shrugged exasperatedly.

"Thanks a bunch, Professor. How about you, Bev?"

"A painter, maybe," said Beverly with a hopeful smile. "My dad's been teaching me how to draw."

"I want to be an actress, mostly," murmured Steph as her lips twitched for a moment.

"The thing I'm focused on is wanting to be a graphic designer, probably," said Amber.

"I'm not quite sure yet," Justin said.

"A fighter pilot," Ben added on. "When I'm old enough, I'm gonna join the airforce."

"An ornithologist," Stan said. "I like cataloging things and finding a logical order."

"Cuh-Can I tell you guys something?" Bill suddenly asked out of nowhere, catching the attention of everyone else.

Amber and Steph especially perked up with curiosity as the latter said, "You can tell us anything, Bill."

Bill only nodded slightly before saying, "If you guys luh-laugh, I'll never..."

"We're not gonna laugh," Amber assured him. "You're our friend, we wouldn't laugh at you, man. Would we?"

Everyone else agreed with her.

Amber watched as Bill greatly hesitated to try and talk about whatever was going on in his life, and she was confused as to why he was suddenly shaking. She was also concerned since something must have happened for him to be extremely reluctant to tell all of them, but she understood his feelings sometimes.

"The other night... in Georgie's room..."

"What on Earth?!" came a booming voice from the top of the hill just fifteen feet to their right. "Oh, for the love of might! Look at this mess!"

"Oh, shit..." Amber whispered so quietly so Officer Nell couldn't hear her swearing as all of them stood up to face the taller man.

"O-Officer Nuh-Nell –" Bill began before he was cut off.

"Don't 'Officer Nell' me!" the man shouted sternly in his Irish accent. "You're fixing the back foot of all the drains in town! Whose brainstorm was this, eh?"

"I showed them how, it's my fault," confessed Ben as he attempted to take all the blame.

"I-It was my idea," Bill countered, wanting to stand up for Ben.

"Me too..." said Eddie.

"Yeah, I was in on it, too," Richie added.

"We helped as well, sir," Amber spoke up for Justin as he hid behind her in fear.

"I suppose it was your idea, too, lasses?" Nell asked the other two girls.

"Yes," answered Beverly.

"Yes, sir..." Steph whispered as her head hung low in shame and insecurity.

Officer Nell sighed as he nodded his head. "Now, listen to me, all of you," he said. "There's been another murder... little Velma Daniels."

"Velma Daniels?!" Beverly exclaimed right as Steph went entirely rigid in shock, which made Bill place a hand on her arm out of worry.

"Her poor body was found this morning down by the canal," Nell explained with a solemn expression. "So, if you come down here to play, come here together like you are now. Understand?" When they all nodded, he decided to specify what he meant. "That means together, all the time. Your hands on it?"

The entire group placed their hands over his outstretched one in order to silently swear that they would follow his instructions. When he nodded his head again, he then told them to clean up the dam they had created before finally leaving. Afterwards, while they cleaned up the mess they had made, Amber noticed Steph seeming to be in her own little world after hearing the news earlier.

Steph's face looked to be entirely blank and her eyes were misty as she wiped her hands on her shirt to rid them of the dirt. She was apparently scrubbing her hands super roughly like the dirt was a leech or something.

"Are... Are you alright, Steph?" Amber asked out of worry as she peered over at her.

"Huh?" Steph muttered as she glanced at her. "Oh... yeah, I'm fine, don't worry."

"Yuh-You sure?" Bill pondered as he got involved in the conversation.

"I'm alright, really," Steph said bluntly in return as she seemed to roll her eyes a little bit. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Amber was slightly taken aback at Steph's attitude, since she had never seen her act like this before. Usually, the older girl was very nice and was always open about what was going on around her; but today seemed to not be one of those days. Maybe she was just in a bad mood from a not so great night of sleep, but she was suspicious as to what was actually happening with her closest friend.

"Is Steph okay?" Justin whispered to Amber as he raised an eyebrow, taking a break from cleaning.

The brunette nodded as she tried her best to smile for her little brother. "Yeah, I'm sure she is. She's probably just not having the best day," she assured him. "Let's not bother her about it, alright? We don't want to push her buttons further."

While Justin's face seemed a little forlorn as he felt a lot of concern for Steph, he chose to listen to Amber, not wanting to cause any more problems.

What neither of them were aware of was Steph freezing up upon seeing something in her reflection of the river, and she twisted around to see what it was.

But there was nothing there....

_____

Adult Amber
May 29th, 1990

"I didn't know you were afraid of snakes, Steph," she pointed out with a humorless laugh as she turned the wheel of her truck onto another street.

"Yeah, snakes always gave me the heebie-jeebies," Steph replied as she shivered at the memory of the snake slithering out of her fortune cookie, and Amber noticed how Bill squeezed his wife's hand in the backseat of the truck.

"Snakes never bothered me too much," Amber said. "But I know not to mess with the fuckers, because they don't take shit from anyone."

Bill chuckled from beside Steph as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, thuh-those fangs are forces t-t-to be reckoned with."

Amber nodded a little distantly as her hands gripped the wheel tighter, and she took a deep breath to prepare herself a little bit. "Um... I almost didn't call you guys..." she admitted. "I didn't want you guys to come back."

Steph seemed to lean forward in her seat as she raised her eyebrows. "Why not?" she asked. "We're very happy to see you again, Amber."

"It's not that," said Amber with a deep sigh, rubbing her forehead slightly before continuing. "I didn't want y'all to have to face this bullshit again. I mainly wanted to handle it by myself that way you wouldn't have to. I feel that Pennywise has been more brutal than ever... especially with the way these kids have been dying. The other day... Lisa Albrecht... I'll have to show you the picture later but it was the worst thing I had ever seen in my near two decades on the police force."

The couple shuddered upon hearing those words, but it became even worse when Amber added with, "If I had seen what happened to Justin... I would say that Lisa's death was worse than his, and I know that for sure."

"Jesus..." Steph murmured. "I'm not sure if I even want to see it. But that isn't gonna stop us from wanting to kill It, Amber."

"Will hearing that Lisa died from just looking Pennywise in the face be enough to stop you?" deadpanned Amber as she glanced in the rearview mirror with a single raised eyebrow.

"I-I'm sorry?" Bill spoke up as he also leaned forward, immensely surprised.

"That son of a bitch didn't even maim her or anything..." Amber specified. "Not one single scratch was left on her. All it took was looking at it and she was dead just like that. But... her face... I can't even describe it."

"I can see it..." Steph whispered as she frowned. "Christ. How could It have done that to her?"

"No idea. But I think it took about five years off my life with the heart attack it gave me."

"But how c-c-cuh-could it be worse than Justin's death...?" Bill asked out of genuine interest and appallment at what Amber had said about that.

"Because I didn't see his body afterwards..." Amber simply said. "You know... I still remember the moment I had to leave him behind down there in the sewers. When he said that to me... for me to leave without him... it felt like I was cutting my arm or leg off... very fucking slowly. Justin was literally my blood, my other half. So... him choosing to give his life, especially at that young of an age... it made me want to rip my own heart into shreds."

Amber couldn't see it when a sudden memory returned to Steph and she was brought back to the sensation of laying on damp concrete as she stared up in terror at horribly bright lights that could have viciously blinded her.

Only... they didn't.

Nothing had happened.

"That kind of makes me remember... about the sewers... when we went to go face It..." Steph murmured. "But it's still rather blurry, and I can't see it properly. It feels like, when I reach out to grasp it, it fades away."

"Maybe it's best that it does that for now," Amber responded. "Who knows how much pain it can bring you in the long run...?"

She then turned the wheel and entered the parking lot, already seeing Mike's car parked next to Richie's and she stopped her own vehicle. She took a deep breath before unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door to climb out.

"I should have expected you to have a pickup truck these days," Steph said as she carefully climbed down from the truck with a brighter smile on her face. "I don't know why I was so surprised to see it."

"That truck is my baby, so I wouldn't mess around with it," Amber joked as she truly laughed for once.

The three of them headed towards the library as they exchanged random conversation to alleviate the tension after what had happened half an hour ago, but Amber remained paranoid because of the events of the past forty-eight hours alone. She even paused at one point to glance over her shoulder, just praying that nothing was lurking in the shadows behind them.

When they entered the library, they were met with Beverly still struggling with cleaning the bright crimson blood off of her pale hands. Instead of grimacing at the sight, Amber chose to walk past her, Eddie, and Richie as she removed her jacket and hung it on the chair Mike would normally sit in when he was working or writing in his journal.

"Well, damn, Amber," Richie said nonchalantly as he laughed. "I didn't know you were built like Sylvester Stallone."

"That's why you should never underestimate people, Rich..." Amber said with a tight smile as she leaned against Mike's desk, the muscles in her arms flexing as she crossed them over her chest. "Besides, you have to be built if you want to be a police officer."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, you're the boss now," Richie replied sarcastically. "Just don't arrest me, alright?"

"As long as no laws are broken, I think you're fine."

Right at that moment, someone had answered a call Mike was making as he struggled to find the right phone number he had written down. "Hello, is this the Uris residence?" he asked. "Is Stan there? This is Mike Hanlon, an old friend."

"What are we supposed to do now?" Eddie asked in a trembling voice as Beverly continued to scrub the blood off of her hands, some of which had now splattered on the floor.

"I'm trying to figure something out..." Amber muttered as she nervously twisted a strand of her brunette hair around her index finger to let out stress.

"Hey, spaghetti man, no problem," Richie said sardonically as he looked down at him. "A little soap, a little elbow grease ought to clean it right up."

"Now's not the time to joke around, Rich..." Steph murmured with a sigh as Bill wrapped his arms around her from behind to help her feel an ounce of comfort after what had happened.

"The only thing I can think of doing right now is discuss what kind of plan we could come up with," Amber suggested as she closed her eyes for a second. It was all she could come up with since she was only ever responsible for catching a criminal in the town for a robbery or burglary in the past. Those were the only duties she was used to as Derry's sheriff.

But catching an alien clown that took the form of whatever you were afraid of? That was another level of insanity to solve....

"Why are we the only ones that can see this?" Eddie pondered as he raised his eyebrows and, by that point, Beverly had given up with the process of getting rid of the blood.

"We weren't the only ones..." Steph spoke up. "I remember now. My dad could... I think he still can. I need to get a hold of him soon. Your dad could, right, Amber? Since he had encountered It once?"

"Yeah..." Amber mumbled as she shut her eyes. "But I still don't know how they and we are the only ones that can see this bullshit."

A lightbulb seemed to go off in Richie's head as he walked over to the receptionist's desk with a bright smile on his face. "Well, now, there you got me stumped!" he exclaimed. "Let's ask the answer man. Oh, Mike? Oh, Michel.... Garçon?"

"Hold on just a sec," Mike told him before going back to the phone. "Hello, Stan....? Mike Hanlon. Is this the Uris residence? I'm trying to get a hold of Stan Uris."

"You tell that loser that if he hasn't left already, he's a dead man!" Richie shouted as he sat on the receptionist's desk. "We all managed to show up!" He then turned to Eddie and jokingly ruffled his hair. "Boy, that matches your real hair. Has anyone ever told you...? Is anyone from out of town?! I don't know about you but I just flew in from L.A, boys... and... boy, is my tail section tired!"

"Richie, stop, you're wasted!" Amber yelled over him as she giggled, not being able to resist the terrible humor of her friend's jokes.

"Yeah, not a chance!" Richie retorted before grabbing the other telephone and raising it to his mouth. "We're hot tonight. It's great to be back in Derry, breathing in that old Derry air! I have never felt so much love in one room in my entire life. Eddie, get all their names. I wanna put them on my Christmas mailer. No, Denbrough and O'Connor there, let's put them on my Norman mailer!" He then grabbed Eddie's shoulders and brought him into a one-armed hug. "I love this man, he's like the brother I never had. Wait a minute. He is the brother I never had!"

"Beep beep, Richie!" Mike fired back before speaking into the phone again. "Stan?"

A few seconds later, Mike's hopeful and amused smile faded into a regretful and sorrowful frown as he thanked whoever he was talking to. He then slowly lowered the receiver and placed it back on the hook and looked Amber straight in the eyes, knowing the news would affect her the most.

"Stan is dead."

Amber raised up from where she was leaning against the desk as she stared back at Mike, the words feeling unreal to her. "What...?" she whispered as her eyes widened so much that they threatened to bug out of her skull. "Please tell me you're lying."

"I'm not," Mike said solemnly. "He cut his wrists in the bathtub... right after I phoned him...."

While Ben and Steph rushed over to Mike to silently console him, Amber felt her heart sink into the pit of her stomach as she walked to one of the reading tables. She traced the woodwork of said table as she sadly reminisced in so many memories with someone that she considered a seriously close friend. Stan had been like an older brother to her and was the only person besides Steph that she could go to for advice at the time.

That was until Mike stepped in to fill in that role to make sure she didn't feel entirely alone.

While that void was covered up by his helpful presence, it now felt completely empty again.

Two down... eight to go... she thought to herself.

Suicide seemed to be the answer upon hearing the news that It had come back, and Stan must have believed that it was the better option than facing Pennywise again.

What was that quote she had read in a book once? "Better never means better for everyone... it always means worse for some."

"GODDAMN IT!" she suddenly shrieked before grabbing the edge of the table and flipping it over, hearing it clatter against the floor. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! FUCK!!!!"

"Amber, Amber!" Steph shouted as she ran over to the younger woman, placing her arms around her. "Hey... I get it, I understand."

Amber began to weep for the first time in a few years as she crumpled in Steph's arms, burying her face in her shoulder. "Every fucking time..." she sobbed as tears slid down her face. "Why does it always have to be someone I care about...?!"

"I get it..." Steph murmured as she held her. "I know... I'm so sorry..."

For a very long minute, Steph did her best to calm Amber down by saying the right things, and Amber was reminded of when her mother would comfort her after a nightmare when she was younger... after losing her father and brother. They were all they had at that point and they did their best to acknowledge that. She was a little at ease to know that there was still someone that could be somewhat parent-like for her and it reminded her that she didn't have to do this alone.

Eventually, even Bill came over and brought both women into a group hug, murmuring to Amber that everything would be alright and that she didn't need to blame herself. This made her nod to herself as she chose to believe him, knowing that if she did, things could turn out slightly better in the long run.

"Stan was the last one of us to see It that summer... besides Amber and Justin..." Bill then spoke up as he pulled away from the hug. "Remember? All summer long, he kept saying, 'That just isn't empirically possible.' Even seeing the clown didn't make it real for him. Nothing did... until that afternoon in August. I remember I was coming down Chestnut Street and I saw Stan running through the park like something was after him."

"He had seen It, hadn't he?" Steph recalled as she glanced at her husband.

"Yeah..." Bill muttered. "I can't honestly say I saw anything that day. Stan's the one who saw it. I was pedaling too fast to turn around. I didn't want to see it... whatever it was. It took him hours to calm down enough to tell me what happened. He said he was down in Lampkin Park by a bird feeder watching birds like a good Boy Scout. Remember? He used to call it... 'collecting birds.'"

"I remember..." Amber suddenly whispered as she perked up, wiping her tears away. "He said he had heard a voice coming from that abandoned house by the park."

"Right," said Bill. "He said he didn't mean to go into that house, but this voice kept whispering to him. And, naturally, being Stan, he figured there was a natural explanation."

"But it wasn't any regular voice..." Amber murmured.

"It was that of a mummy..." Steph added. "And he couldn't get out of the house."

"Yeah..." Bill replied. "He was trapped. The only thing he could think of to do was to hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember." He then proceeded to recite said names of birds, from the longneck finch to the brown thrush as his eyes welled up with tears.

Another tear slipped out of Amber's right eye as she sighed deeply, offering a hand to Bill as a comforting gesture. He took it and squeezed it firmly, thankful to have a friend like her to lift his spirits up; sometimes, they didn't even have to communicate with words... it was like they just knew what the other was thinking. They just knew each other that damn well and were that damn close as friends.

Steph, meanwhile, came up behind Bill and rested her chin on his shoulder as she slipped her arms around his torso, closing her eyes in silent agony. He replied by leaning his head against hers as he held back the inevitable tears that he promised to shed in private later that night. But, at least, he wasn't alone now.

As the group of eight stood or sat there in what seemed to be a deathly silence, Amber couldn't help but recall the day when Bill had begged for all of them to help him avenge his brother. His suffering was a lot more open in 1960, when he had just been twelve, so young and vulnerable... and afraid, although he refused to admit it. She thought of how Steph had been the first person to hug him tightly – at that point, they were already in the extremely early stages of their young relationship – and how, one by one, the other eight had followed suit in a group embrace.

But Amber hadn't been able to help but think of just one person that day, her own little brother... and of how much danger she was unwillingly deciding to put him in. The moment she had agreed to help Bill avenge Georgie, she had sealed Justin O'Connor's fate. If only she had backed out... if only she had claimed to be too scared to fight It, although she hardly was....

But that didn't happen. She had chosen to help Bill... and that was why Justin had died in the sewers that day.

All because of her...

And she had left him there, all alone, for one huge reason: he had told her to.

"The day that we went into the sewer to save Amber and Justin, Stan saw It," Eddie finally said after the long minute of quietness. "Face to face. Not the clown, but he saw what was behind the clown. He ran up to me in school and said, 'I saw it, Eddie. That's why I told Amber to run like hell. I looked right into its...' Some kind of lights." He then paused for a moment as he clawed at the answer in his mind's eye. Then he seemed to subtly light up as if he were looking at a delightful view somewhere, maybe Paris. "'I looked right into its Deadlights.' Then he said... and I hadn't thought of it until just now, I swear, he said, 'I looked into its Deadlights and I wanted to be there.'"

"Deadlights..." Bill said out of nowhere as his eyes widened, and that was also when Steph raised her head up from the sudden recollection.

"I remember them clearly now," the blonde whispered as her hands moved to Bill's shoulders. "None of you were able to look at them... the Deadlights. But I could. I was able to look directly into them. All I could see were extremely bright lights... but there was something else, too. It was a figure. Not Pennywise. But something else... someone else."

"It was you," Mike confirmed with a nod of his head as he looked over at her. "You told us about that a while after."

Steph thought for a moment to check if Mike was right before her face relaxed. "Yes..." she replied. "It was me... except, it wasn't me at the same time. I was hovering in the air... my arms were outstretched as if in meditation. My eyes appeared to not be gray like they are sometimes when I use my power, but white. A gleaming white. And my hair was blowing back behind me despite there being no wind. It was as if I was Wanda Maximoff... from those comic books. The Scarlet Witch."

Bill's eyes then seemed to have gone mad as he stared up at his wife. "And then we all realized, even you, just how powerful you were meant to be," he said with a soft smile. "You were, and still are, way stronger than you want to be. You've just been suppressing it. All we can do is try and stop It, because none of us have powers... but your powers could be the key to actually killing It."

A long moment of silence. Then Steph said, "It's about damn time I use them for something else other than moving meaningless stuff around, then."

While there was light laughter, the atmosphere of the room was very depressing and Ben chose to try to lighten it even more by saying, "I need a drink."

"Me too," Richie said.

"Me three," Amber added with a humorless smile.

"I'm sure I got something here," Mike muttered as he went over to the mini refrigerator and opened the small door to grab a bottle of alcohol for one of them.

_____

Adult Steph

The colorful variety of balloons that erupted out of the refrigerator made Steph shriek in fright as she swatted them out of her way to see why this had happened. After the very long moments of silence, this was truly a wake-up call for the time being and she sobered up from the wine she had consumed earlier. "Oh, God help us!" she yelled sarcastically as the balloons finally cleared out.

"Stan!" Mike suddenly wailed, which turned Steph's direction back to the refrigerator, where she screamed in terror.

The decapitated head of a man around the Losers' age was staring straight back at them with a creepily grinning face and a pair of lifeless and glazed eyes. But, at the exact same time, the head was.... There was no fucking way, just no way! The dead man's head was alive and... it was smiling at them.

Just the sight made Steph shiver in disgust as a memory of watching a Friday the 13th movie one time. What had happened in the scene was that the main girl from the first movie was opening a refrigerator – although hers was a normal kitchen one – only to find the decomposing severed head of Mrs. Voorhees waiting for her. And then she had been grabbed from behind and stabbed through the temple with an icepick by the dead woman's presumed drowned son, Jason. Sure, it had been a stupid little slasher flick, but that moment always stuck with her.

"Oh, Jesus!" Amber whimpered as she placed a hand over her mouth.

"Sorry I'm late!" Stanley Uris's decapitated head announced cheerfully as it glanced between all of them. "Well, let's see who's here! Ba-Ba-Ba-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-B-B-B-Buh-Billy Boy!" Then it glanced at Richie. "Richie! You still here? We never expected you to stick around! Nice nose job, no one would ever suspect!" Then to Ben. "Haystack. Puttin' on a little weight, huh?" Then to Amber. "Oh, Amber the Orphan! How's Mom, Dad, and Justin doin'?!" Beverly. "Speaking of dads, Bevvy, yours isn't worried about you anymore. He loves your taste in men!" Eddie. "Wheezy! How's your sex life...? What's your sex life?!"

And then, finally, to Steph.

"Dear Stephanie!" It greeted ecstatically. "What a pointless lifestyle you've made for yourself. I bet ole Billy Boy is getting quite tired of you. I assure you, he won't stay with you too much longer, as I've been warning you."

"Keep talking, asshole..." Steph snarled through gritted teeth as she locked her gaze with it.

"You're too stubborn for anyone's liking," 'Stan' said dismissively. "Well, Mikey, you did it. You got us all back here. I guess it's 'cause it's the only way you'd ever see us since you're so lame, you'd never leave this town. I finally made it, guys! I'm in the Deadlights now!" Now, the familiar voice of what It really was started seeping through. "And you know what? It's true what they say; we all float down here. And you will, too. In fact, they all float! THEY ALL FLOAT!!!!"

Mike went to slam the refrigerator door but, before he could, something happened.

Steph's dark blue eyes had narrowed so much that they might as well have been shut and her shoulders were subtly quivering; she tilted her head ever so slightly as her eyes returned to a seemingly normal state. But Bill could see the color shift to a bright gray for just a moment as a smirk touched her lips.

The decapitated head of Stanley Uris spontaneously combusted in a savage uproar of flames that touched the top of the fridge, bathing the other Losers in its orange and scalding light. They cried out in bewilderment when this happened, backing away out of worry that the fire would singe their clothes or their hair or their skin.

Steph seemed to realize what she had done straight away, since her face switched from an expression of concentration to one of guilt. "Oh, I'm so sorry, guys!" she said as she rushed over to try and put the flames out. In a desperate attempt, she used her mind to shut the door on the fire and opened it back up. And it worked. Flames never lasted long in a refrigerator, after all. "I was just getting tired of that fucker's bullshit...."

Before any of them could respond, the lights in the library snapped out, making Steph whirl around to face the open room. Her uncontrolled reaction caused one of the massive bookshelves just ten feet away to topple onto the floor, the novels and magazines spilling out like tiny shards of glass.

The pandemonium that occurred afterwards, however, was not due to her telekinesis getting out of control at all. In fact, she had nothing to do with the dozens of pieces of paper catapulting around the room or the rain that had seemed to transpire from thin air. Sweat suddenly broke out on her face as she looked all around her, the goosebumps on her arms more apparent than ever as she quivered from the rapid drop in temperature in the library.

"Goddamn it, make it stop!" Amber yelped as she covered her head to shield herself from the oncoming objects flying at her.

"That's not me, it's It!" Steph shouted over the loud commotion to assure the others that she was innocent in all of this.

Bill suddenly grasped Steph's hand and brought her over to the rest of the group, motioning for them to get into a joined circle. They all held hands and squeezed their eyes shut as they silently prayed for the temporary nightmare to finish and doing so led to the interior rain to subside and quickly fade. But it did absolutely nothing to stop the flying objects around them.

Steph, coming up with an idea out of the blue, tore herself out of the circle and held out her arms as if in meditation. Her palms faced the ceiling of the library as she took deep breaths, tilting her head back as if she were staring up at Jesus Himself. Her heartbeat began to calm itself and the goosebumps vanished from her skin; and then, almost as if by God's will, her wrists snapped her hands over to where the palms were facing the carpeted floor.

This caused all of the out-of-control items to freeze in midair as if in a traditional movie freeze frame. The other seven Losers stared at all of this in wonder, just as they always had whenever Steph presented her powers to them. Some of them even smiled, such as Bill, Beverly, Mike, and Ben; but the others couldn't smile due to the shock they were still in, which was entirely understandable.

They then saw Steph's midnight blue eyes shift from its natural color to a shining, pearly white color; they glowed as she subconsciously moved her hands around.

The bookshelf that she had made fall over picked itself back up and the books rearranged themselves on each shelf, the scattered papers flew back to the stack that they were originally in on Mike's desk, the carpet dried itself as if a substantial vacuum were doing it, and everything else was neatly put back in their first places. Steph went a step further and even made the blood from Beverly's fortune cookie disappear as if she were just snapping her fingers in a magic trick.

When she felt as if everything was back to normal, she then blinked. The white eyes were gone, now replaced with very human and sane eyes.

"Holy hell, Steph..." Richie murmured. "I completely forgot you could do that."

"Me too," Ben added with a huff of stunned laughter.

Steph, now entirely exhausted from the demonstrative way she had used her power, stumbled over to a nearby chair and collapsed into it. "Oh, man..." she whispered, burying her face in her hands. "I haven't done anything like that in... in years... decades, even."

"That's what huh-happens when you suppress your gift," Bill replied as he knelt to her level to see if she was alright.

"It's not a gift," she replied a little harshly for what seemed to be the millionth time she had to tell Bill. "It's a damn curse, that's what it is."

"No, it's not..." Bill murmured carefully, placing his hands on her knees just to feel closer to her and to put her at ease. "What's happening to us right now... that's a curse, right there."

Steph weakly nodded as she sighed tiredly, rubbing her eyes to rid herself of the sleepiness that had invaded her system.

"All right," Richie said with the most paranoid expression she had ever seen on him. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting real sick of this place. Now, I'll listen to anything anybody has to say, but could we do it someplace else?! Please!"

The blonde woman turned to look at him with a surprisingly amused expression. "What happened to the Richie Tozier I once knew?" she asked with a smirk. "That Richie wasn't a complete pussy."

"Beep beep, Steph," was all Richie said, but he laughed, knowing that his friend was right.

As they all gathered their things to flee from the library, Bill seemed to pause in place as he delicately picked up a sheet of paper. Tears appeared in his eyes almost as quickly as he had read the words printed onto the paper and he struggled to speak them aloud.

"Bill?!" Steph exclaimed as she cautiously walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter...?"

"He..." Bill muttered, but the rest of the words seemed to become trapped in his throat as he attempted to let them escape. "He-He... th-thrusts his-his-his..."

Ben then came over and carefully snatched the paper from Bill's hands to read the words aloud. "'He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts,'" he proclaimed. "That's all it says, over and over and over again."

Steph's eyes widened and she turned back to Bill, rubbing his back gently to try and get his stutter to ease up a bit. But she failed miserably.

"My m-muh-mom g-g-g-gave me that to say to... to... to-to-to... to help with my st-st-st-st-stuh-stutter!" Bill shrieked as he quietly sobbed to himself.

A long moment of silence. Then, Richie leaned closer to them and said, "No offense, pal. It ain't helping." And then he blew him a kiss, which caused Bill to burst into laughter as he quickly cheered up. Everyone else chuckled a little as well, including Steph as she kissed his cheek to elevate the situation more for him, and it worked.

"Let's get the hell out of here, alright?" Ben suggested, and everyone else nodded as they finished gathering everything up.

In seconds, the eight Losers had all of their belongings held in their arms as they started speeding out of the library. The only thing they knew was that they wanted to get back to the townhouse as soon as possible, that way they could be aware of some sense of safety because that wasn't in Mike Hanlon's library.

Steph stepped out into the crisp and cool air as she looked around the parking lot. All she could see besides a few houses and street lamps was pitch black darkness as it stared back at her. She even shivered at how cold it suddenly was, thinking that it wasn't a natural temperature for an early summer in Derry, Maine. It would usually be a lively warm temperature if there wasn't wind blowing through the streets.

That was the first red flag of many that entered the blonde's mind; the next one was in the form of a sudden and harsh gust of wind that swirled around her in a circle like the beginning of a tornado. And then came the sudden increase of the cold.

"Guys...?" she muttered, making all of the others freeze in place as they stared at her in puzzlement. "I think there's something coming."

Amber was the first to glance over at the end of the parking lot out of pure instinct and Steph knew that she noticed it, too... there seemed to be... was that a flickering in the distance? It reminded her of some sort of... VHS static like on those old televisions in the sixties or fifties, it didn't matter which. The flickering

(static)

was a bluish tint as it got stronger and stronger, making all of the group tense up from both anticipation and fear.

Then, a few seconds later, the VHS boundary seemed to split apart and out walked a figure as it strode towards them. Said figure had long and elegant blonde hair that extended to her waist and the way she walked was more confident and casual than any of them could have thought.

My God, Steph thought to herself. It's me...

Instead of the normal appearance it would take as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, It was in the form of Steph herself but with one stark difference: its eyes were a golden yellow color instead of the normal midnight blue.

Was this Its way of taunting Steph? If it was, she had to applaud the creature. It had every single detail of her face and form entirely correct except the eyes, and she was a little bit impressed.

"Leaving so soon?" It spoke cheerfully in Steph's voice, but the blonde could detect the tone of the normal clown seep through.

Bill, for once, seemed to step back at the sight of Pennywise in the form of his own damn wife; he couldn't deny that this was quite intimidating, and Steph had never frightened him before. But he had to remind himself that this wasn't Steph at all. In fact, she would never be acting like this, so it was a dead giveaway that this was It.

"We're just taking p-pruh-precautions," he spoke up bravely as he then stepped forward again. "After all yuh-you've put us through, you can hardly b-blame us."

"You think I don't blame you?" It replied with a tilt of its head, the smile fading to a sneer of disapproval. "Well, let me remind you again, as this will be your final warning." Here, the clown's voice was the most prominent, although the voice that belonged to Steph tried to dominate it. "Get the hell out of Derry and stay out. I'm offering a truce. You leave and mind your own business, then I won't ever bother you again. I'll even let your memories stay intact."

For a moment, Steph was able to sense the genuine truth in that promise, which genuinely surprised her. She would have never expected this monster to actually have a sliver of humanity in it, as if It was able to understand how they all felt. But that wasn't possible, right? Pennywise didn't have the ability to sympathize like they did, that couldn't be the case with a demon born with utter evil in its heart, if it even had a heart.

But the truth was there, front and center. Pennywise wasn't lying to them; It was offering to let them go as long as It was left alone.

"You're offering us peace now?" Richie asked in a flabbergasted tone as both eyebrows raised.

At Its simple head nod, Amber, Ben, and Beverly all scoffed simultaneously. "Have you become that desperate to let us go?" the latter also pondered with a confused expression. "Are you that frightened of us?"

"No, it's not that at all," It responded. "I'm just simply fed up with your unity and I need this to end."

"But we can't simply walk away from this..." Steph finally said as she walked up to It, standing only five feet from the creature now.

"Steph..." Ben and Bill whispered in a warning tone but she slightly raised her hand to silence them.

In response to her not backing down, the evil version of herself went rigid in its place as it glared furiously at her. "Stubborn Steph," was all It could say. At the same time, its left hand smoothly twisted backward and released a silvery translucent ball of energy that remained stable on its palm, ready to fire it at the real Steph at any moment. "You see this, girl? This is what you're capable of. You can use that power of yours to conquer anything you really want in the world."

"I'm not doing that!" Steph sharply protested with a shake of her head. "You just want me to use it to harm people, but you can't convince me. I want peace, too, but that won't happen unless you stop killing those children."

"Now, that can't happen and you know it, Steph," It replied with a snarky chuckle. "Do you want me to starve to death, or what?"

"That may be your only choice if you want to end this yourself," said Steph. "But I see that won't happen. But I can help you end it."

"How?" It taunted. "How on Earth could you possibly try and offer a helping hand without killing me?"

Steph hesitated. "Well... what do you want?"

"I want nothing from you. I'm not going anywhere, and there's nothing you can do about it. I have everything I want... and none of you... are going to try and take it from me again."

Bill responded to this with an appalled expression as he stared at It, baffled that It wasn't going to give up anytime soon.

Pennywise replied with a mirrored expression as It tilted its head, before spinning its hand upward and generating even more power that was supposed to belong to Steph. In milliseconds, the creature had the seven other members of the group locked in trances of their own as their eyes became gray. "See, Stephie...?" It said with a jovial grin. "This is what you're truly capable of. Use it."

"Stop it!" Steph screamed once she realized what It was doing, her lips quivering from complete fear of her husband's and friends' safety. "Let them go! Please..."

It actually obeyed her for once and unlocked the trapped Losers from their mental cages before turning its back to them and strolling away with an annoyed expression. Steph could see the others snapping out of their states of catatonia as their eye colors switched back to how they normally were. She then stared after It as it, now back in the form of the clown, smirked at her threateningly before going back through the VHS boundary, allowing itself to disappear.

Afterwards, Steph looked down at her delicate hands and wiggled her fingers to see if any sort of power could come out of them. But nothing. She guessed it wouldn't happen unless she truly willed it. Whenever she used her telekinesis, she had never seen anything resembling translucent energy coming out of her, unless it was just invisible to her human eyes. But this was on a whole other level.

Was she actually capable of using that stance of power?

If so, would it be worth it in the end...?

A/N: well, that went in a million different directions at once.

ANYWAYS, thoughts on this chapter? did you enjoy it?

what did you think of the flashback to amber as an adult where she found the bodies of laurie anne from the beginning of the film and lisa albrecht's body. the latter's death was a reference to katie's death from The Ring!

next, did you enjoy the flashback to amber as a child where she was talking with the other Losers about what she wanted to be as a grown up? do you like amber's character so far?

another thing, amber being built like sylvester stallone is a reference to samantha carpenter being built in scream 6!

did you enjoy amber's point of view of the library scene? what about her monologue about losing justin and her reaction to stan's death?

did you like the subtle moments of steph and bill comforting each other throughout?

what did you think of steph and bill comforting amber after the news of stan's death?

what about stan's head in the refrigerator?

what about steph using her powers to reverse what pennywise is doing to them?

and, finally, the moment where pennywise is in the form of an evil doppelgänger of steph? this scene and the last one i mentioned are deliberate homages to WandaVision because i'm obsessed with that show🤣

predictions for the next chapter?

be looking forward to the next chapter!

-denbroughswife