I got most(ly all of) these from Tumblr!

* * * * *

Ruby: I don't have one train of thought. I have twelve.

Ruby: They're all on the same three tracks and they're all narrowly avoiding crashing into eachother.

Ruby: All the passengers are dead and the conductors are screaming.

Sapphire: For the love of god, I am begging you to stop.

* * * * * * * * * *

Bad Gem: Die.

Steven: I'll consider it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Connie: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre she vaca do", how are you feeling?

Steven: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need no degree to be a clothing hangover". How about you, (Y/n)?

(Y/n): Probably "road work ahead".

Jamie: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

* * * * * * * * * *

Steven, to (Y/n): I'm gonna play a song for you right now.

Steven: It's called "My Life So Far".

Steven: *Takes a deep breath, starts banging the cymbal*

Steven, high pitched: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

* * * * * * * * * *

Pearl: I hope you three have an explanation for this!

Steven: Um. . .

Connie: Actually, we have three.

(Y/n), shrugging: Feel free to pick your favorite.

* * * * * * * * * *

Yellow Diamond: You're acting like a child, Pink!

Pink: I AM NOT ACTING!

* * * * * * * * * *

(Y/n): If sleep was water then I'm a cactus.

Steven: I'm a fish.

* * * * * * * * * *

(Y/n): Steven is pathetic. . . I would die for him. . .

* * * * * * * * * *

Garnet: You're getting reckless, Steven, (Y/n).

(Y/n), taking Steven's hand: If you're saying this because of the eel we brought home, we don't want to hear it.

Pearl: It's because - Wait. . . WHAT?!

(Y/n), dragging Steven away: We don't want to hear it!

* * * * * * * * * *

Lars: You always stay positive. You always believe everything is going to work out. How do you do it?

Steven: Oh! Well, I'll tell you my secret!

.

.

.

Steven: I lie to myself. . . Every morning, when I wake up, I say 'everything is gonna be okay!' But I'm lying. . . and I don't know how much longer I can do it. . .

Lars: . . . *Very concerned yet also kind of scared at the same time*

Steven, back to his 'innocent' self: Well, *Opens door and waves* have a swell night, Lars!

* * * * * * * * * *

Steven: (Y/n), you awake?

(Y/n), rolling over to face Steven: Yeah.

Connie, regrettable invitee: You guys, SHH!

Steven, taking (Y/n)'s hand: Sweetness, what is the meaning of life?

Amethyst, groaning and turning over: Dude, shut up. . .

Lunar (5 years old): Papa, mama, Pearl's gonna hear us!

* * * * * * * * * *

Steven: Sweetness, is that a bazooka??

(Y/n): No. It's a leaf blower for people, actually.

* * * * * * * * * *

Bluebird Azurite: Your lives will end today!

Steven: Oh no! They say beauty is short-lived. . .

Steven: Am I going to die young because I'm beautiful?

* * * * * * * * * *

Greg: What do you want to do when you grow up, schnooball?

Steven: I. . . I wanna get married to (Y/n)!

Greg: Oh, that's ni- Wait. . . What?!

* * * * * * * * * *

Anyone: *Insults (Y/n)*

Steven: So you have chosen death.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sadie: Top reasons to get married?

(Y/n): Firmly saying, "That's my husband!" and knocking someone out with one punch. And. . . love, I guess. . .

* * * * * * * * * *

Will I make a part 3 out of boredom later? Probably.

Yes.

Definitely.

Absolutely.

I love you all, see ya next chapter.

~☆