∆ {3²⁵} {WHITEWASHED WALLS} ∆

NATASHA WAS WORRIED about Roxi. Ever since the battle against Ultron a few weeks ago, the woman had been different. Tony had given them rooms next to each other, on the basis that they had a good relationship, and pretending she couldn't hear Roxi through the walls when she had nightmares was proving difficult. It was rare that she wouldn't hear anything from the room next to hers, and as much as Natasha wanted to help her, she knew that she needed to give Roxi time. She was still blaming herself for not being able to hold on for just a few seconds later, and for Pietro's death.

It had been surprising for all of them. He's only just joined the team, and he'd fought for so long. Now, he was gone. There was no question that Wanda and Roxi dealt with it the worst. While Roxi hadn't known Pietro especially well, he was a life she had been moments away from saving, and if she'd simply used her power more efficiently, he wouldn't be dead. That was what she seemed to believe, anyway. Wanda had clearly been the closest to Pietro, and the only one who might've been able to relate to her situation was Thor; he'd believed that Loki had died a few times over, and the grief that came with it had always changed him.

Natasha stood quietly outside Roxi's room, watching her worriedly through the glass wall that Tony had insisted almost every room in the compound had because he liked the modern style. The dark-haired woman was moving around in the dark in her small kitchen area, making a hot drink that Natasha reflected was likely to be tea. It seemed that her nightmares had been unusually bad that night, because Natasha had heard Roxi let out a whimper - something entirely new. She hadn't been able to tell of it was from fear, pain for something else, but Natasha knew that it wasn't good, and it certainly wasn't healthy. She had managed to convince herself tonight that Roxi needed someone, and that she'd had some time to process what had happened.

The dull kitchen lights that Roxi had put up, possibly for this purpose, illuminated her figure softly, silhouetting her gently against the dark in the rest of the room.  She moved over to the seating area slowly, where Natasha could only just make out her figure, and the redhead waited for her to do something, possibly to bring out the black book she had written in on the Helicarrier years ago. She still wasn't sure what it's purpose was, but she did know that it was important to Roxi. She had wandered in on the woman writing in it a few times over the years, and Roxi had always looked so unordinarily sombre while she wrote that Natasha had thought that it was better to leave the matter alone. Instead of Roxi pulling out the book, however, she didn't make any move to shift from her position, and remained unnervingly still in her seat. It was that, in the end, that inspired Natasha to go in. She had knocked on the glass gently before opening the door and walking in. She deliberately shut it behind her, ignoring the fact that it was two in the morning and no-one else was likely to be up around the compound. The room felt more private this way, a more secure place that would allow the two women to talk.

Roxi didn't seem to have registered Natasha entering, even as the redhead sat down next to her on the fabric couch in the middle of the room. Natasha could just make out the fact that the other woman's hands were shaking, and she was almost certain that if she could see better, she'd be able to make out the way that Roxi clenched her jaw when she was trying to deal with her emotions, or how she had fixed her icy eyes on one spot in the clean, white walls that Tony seemed so fond of while she simultaneously tried to forget whatever she had seen in her nightmares. They were things that had become familiar to Natasha over time, that she'd slowly picked up on as she grew to know the woman next to her. They were also part of the small things that Natasha had grown so fond of while she was with Roxi. The way she would curse in Spanish whenever she got particularly pissed off, her love for tea, her unusual eyes, the small wolf keyring that she fiddled with when she was caught up in her thoughts, the way she wore Natasha's jackets so much. All of it contributed a little to why she felt so strongly for Roxi.

Equally, Natasha did small things that anyone else might not notice that Roxi did, and she appreciated them. Natasha had a tiny scar directly above the right corner of her mouth, that always twitched slightly when she smiled, and the way she changed her hair so often, how her eyes looked slightly darker and deeper in the sunlight, and those little sarcastic comments that she made so often that inspired the butterflies in the pit of Roxi's stomach to stir. It took Natasha asking her a question for Roxi to acknowledge her presence.

"Where are you at?" It wasn't hard to know that Natasha was reference to her emotions. Most of the team had been giving her space over the past few weeks, partly because of the amount of power she'd shown and because of the exhaustion, both emotional and physical, that she had been working through. None of them seemed quite certain of why she was having such a hard time, and they seemed confused that she'd taken Pietro's death so hard.

 But she had been right there. She had been metres away, and if she only could've kept up her wall of power for a few seconds longer, he might have lived. Instead, she had run out of power because she hadn't used it properly. She had been brash because of the turmoil her storm of emotions had stirred inside of her and she had allowed it to influence how she fought. It didn't matter how much she had tried to prevent it, it had happened. She had allowed herself to slip up, and now someone was dead. It didn't help that it reminded her of the name on the gravestone she'd been visiting so regularly before the team's first mission in Sokovia.

Every time she relaxed, let herself become familiar, and allowed her emotions to become stronger, someone died. But Natasha didn't seem to care, and she was probably the strongest person that Roxi had ever met. It made her feel safer around the redhead, as if she didn't have to be as cautious, like she could be more of herself than she had with anyone else.

"I'm doing better," Roxi admitted, as if she hadn't been staring blankly at a wall unaware of her surroundings only seconds ago, though not allowing her voice higher than a hush, though Natasha relaxed when she didn't hear the slightly distant tone that Roxi had been speaking to the rest team with, when she actually communicated with them. The redhead eyed the brunette for a second before speaking up, finding her hand slipping into Roxi's almost automatically.

"We can't save everyone. I know you think that you could've done more to save Pietro, that you could've managed yourself better, and the truth is, you probably could've." Icy blue eyes reached Natasha's face as Roxi looked at her uncertainly, wondering why she'd chosen to agree with the demons that seemed so eager to wring out her mind of all rationale and emotions expect for the negative ones. Guilt, paranoia, fear.

"But, you shouldn't have. If you hadn't used your powers in the way you did at the church, more of us could've been hurt, or killed. We can't save every single person, no matter how much we want to. I know that you know that, Roxi, and I need you to tell me that you do. I want to hear it," Natasha finished after a short pause, her voice low as she gently squeezed  Roxi's hand and watched the woman with concerned eyes. Something inside of Roxi seemed to warm as she heard the redhead say her name; it was something that she wasn't used to yet, and she was glad that she had trusted Natasha. If she hadn't who knew where she'd be now.

"We- I," Roxi corrected herself, looking Natasha straight in the eyes as she used that pleasurable feeling in that pit of her stomach to reinforce both her words and their meaning, "can't save everyone." Natasha's soft smile grew wider, and Roxi allowed herself to match the emotion, her own smile painting her face as the two women sat in a comfortable silence. Roxi leaned back on her couch, closing her eyes and allowing herself to relax, warmth spreading throughout her body as Natasha copied her actions, and snuggled slightly into the taller woman's side. She laughed quietly at the redhead's antics, knowing that both of their cheeks would be dusted with pink at the close proximity. Natasha interlaced their fingers as the pair of them embraced the dark, simply savouring the sanctuary they found in each other.

"They weren't about that," Roxi admitted in a small voice no louder than a whisper, keeping her eyes fixed on the face of the beautiful redhead beside her. Natasha met her eyes a moment later, her brow furrowed , waiting for Roxi to elaborate.

"My nightmares. They weren't about Pietro, Sokovia or even Ultron. There was this field of orange and purple flowers, and they covered everything. It was odd. Then fireflies appeared, like the first night at Clint's. They were beautiful. But then I was falling," Roxi's face fell slightly as she continued to explain, and Natasha's focus was so strong that Roxi would've known she was listening even if they hadn't been looking at each other.

"And I could hear you. I can't remember what you said, but whatever it was, it was enough to scare me. Then I was back in New York, in the middle of that circle of Chitauri the first time I discovered my powers. I think that was the thing that really overwhelmed me, because I woke up after that." As she continued, Roxi found herself reluctant to continue her stare with Natasha, letting her eyes trail to their interlocked hands as she let Natasha process her words.

"Hey," the redhead told her softly, adjusting her position it was harder for Roxi's gaze to avoid her face, "I would never say something that I knew scared you. I want you to be happy, and I want you to be safe." Natasha's answer was fully genuine, not that Roxi was expecting anything different, and the two women locked gazes once again, the redhead's words helping to soothe the sea of emotions in the back of her mind that had begun to rise again when she had woken up to find out that Pietro was dead.

Natasha nearly always helped in that sense, except when Roxi needed to fight, and be closely concentrated on everything that she was doing. Even then, the redhead would be by Roxi's side, fighting with her. Roxi nodded ever so slightly, and would've said something, had Natasha not connected their lips. Roxi melted into it immediately, loving the feeling of them, together. It wasn't like the others, short, sweet, filled with every emotion that the pair of them were afraid to show. This was different, longer, more passionate. When they broke apart, their bodies turned closer to each other, Natasha drew in a long breath and said what she'd been wanting to say since the pair of them sat by the river near Clint's house.

"I think-. I think I love you." There was a moment of pure stillness, and silence while Natasha held her breath and waited for Roxi's reply.

"That would've been really awkward if I didn't feel the same." Natasha's face split into a grin as she let out a quiet chuckle, something electric sparking through her body. Roxi's face, on the other hand, twisted into a smirk, though it wasn't a bad one. It was filled with no malice, no ill intent. Though, it accompanied her next words perfectly.

"After that nightmare, I don't think I'm going to get much sleep." Natasha matched her expression, standing up and pulling Roxi to her feet through their still linked hands.

"I don't think either of us will." The redhead's voice was still soft as the two of them walked into Roxi's room together, the door shutting behind them. The dim lights in Roxi's kitchen blinked once, her now cold cup of tea long forgotten on the table they'd been sitting by, as all thoughts of nightmares were driven from the pair's minds. The two broken women became enthralled by the charm of each other as they grew closer through the night, unprepared for what would come.

{A/N:} Kind of a filler, kind of not, but I really like it tbh. Finally, this is the last chapter of Age of Ultron, sorry I've dragged it out so much lol. Anyway, sh*t happened in this chapter and my girls are closer together now as we get a move on into Civil War. Weirdly, one of my favourite of the main six films. Also, guys, I'm half-way through this book. That means that what I've written, I probably not going to go into Stage Four, mainly because with Covid, everything might be delayed even further and It'd be quite hard to write, is only what i have left to write as well :(. But yeah. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, again, this'll be up in a week, so

Please vote, comment, let me know what you think, etc.,

2375 Words

Written: 06 / 03 / 2021

Published: 13 / 03 / 2021