The chilling winds of December blew through the gaps in the closed window kissing her belly bump, making Nehmat shiver. She pushed her chair closer to the fireplace and wrapped a blanket tightly around her. Her fingers pecked out from the blanket, clutching the crumpled letters. She had kept these letters safe in her cupboard but had forgotten about them until Vamika, who had now claimed her old room for the comfort it brought her, found them while emptying the cupboard. Vamika had handed the letters to her just before Nehmat left for Switzerland for a change of scenery, hoping to alleviate the nausea and discomfort of her seventh month of pregnancy. The trip did help her; the Alps once again calmed her inner struggle.

Wait! I have a really bad habit of jumping from one topic to another without giving the backstory, Nehmat thought to herself as she recalled the past with her eyes closed and her head resting on the rocking chair. She smiled and blushed, remembering December 15th, the day they got married. They had recently celebrated their second anniversary in Kashmir before coming to Switzerland for some relaxation along with his family. Unfortunately, her brother's family couldn't join her as they were on a family vacation, exploring the streets of Australia with two-year-old baby Akaay. Yes, it was a baby boy, and Vamika's happiness knew no bounds as she finally had a sibling. Even though Vamika was eight years old now, she still clung to her Nini, and now Akaay had joined the party. Akaay would call her 'Nini,' too a word he picked up from Vamika. After "Mumma" and "Daddy," it was his favourite.

Back to herself, it had been two years since she married the man she loved, and every day felt like a dream. Two months after he proposed, they decided to get married in a small, intimate ceremony with only close friends and family in the Gurudwara of his village. She chuckled as she remembered the day. She was happy and smiling, while her paaji, Vamika, and Shubman were emotional, tearing up now and then. She teased them, "Oh, stop being crybabies! I'm the bride, not you guys!" As soon as she said that, she felt a gentle slap on her back from her mother. "Nini, behave like one," her mother scolded, while the other three teased her by poking their tongues out.

Nehmat scowled and pouted, looking at the door, but her expression instantly turned into a blush as the man next to her whispered in her ear, "So, Nehmat Kohli, ready to be mine?" She smiled, looking up with her eyes shining bright like kaleeras. Thanks to the photographers who captured the moment of them looking at each other, she had the photo framed in their room, occupying the space above their bed. It was such a beautiful day, and indeed a day where she felt all the heaviness of her heart shattering. On that day, in front of the Almighty, she decided to forgive Meera, as she wanted to be free from all sorts of thoughts that could hinder her growth. She left it to the Almighty to decide what to do with Meera and the things she had done. Nehmat prayed that wherever Meera found love, it would be reciprocated, and the Almighty did hear her. Meera found her love in a man she worked with, and they had a one-year-old baby girl.

Nehmat was clear that she did not have a problem with her cousin's bonding, but the relationship between her and Meera would be only formal. She could forgive, but she would not forget.

She traced the rim of the glass of orange juice that her Mumma had set down for her a few minutes ago. Yes, her Mumma had joined her for the trip, apologizing to no one in particular. She mentally scolded herself for not mentioning it earlier; her thoughts were all over the place and making her forgetful.

Returning to the letters, she rested her glasses on the brim of her nose before opening one. Taking a sip of her orange juice, she glanced at the clock; it read 5:30 in the evening. She had two hours to read this before he came back from the gym. Opening the first letter, she started scanning its words. Tears welled up in her eyes as she absorbed the contents. Each letter contained many words, but in the end, they all conveyed heartbreak and loneliness. Stuffing her blanket between her teeth, she tried not to cry as she read about his pain and agony in her absence. Was she wrong to leave him stranded on an emotional island, grappling with loneliness and heartache? Was her decision to prioritize herself selfish, or was it a necessary step toward her well-being? He, too, was heartbroken, even though he had bedded with lies. The words and his pain in writing made it impossible for her to control her emotions as she let out a sob.

"Rabji, how do I function without her? Can you please tell me?"

"Every morning on tour, I wish to see her brown eyes staring back at me."

"Vamika doesn't even sit next to me on planes, nor does she look at me."

"Kuldeep blames me every day for driving his best friend away."

"I still stare at the connecting hotel door, waiting for a knock, but it never comes."

"Meera successfully convinced me to marry her, or I should say blackmailed me."

"Meera wanted to come on tour with me, and I ran away in the middle of the night. I can't afford to stay in one room with her."

"Paaji has been miserable ever since she left; he has no more jokes or his goofy self that we enjoy seeing."

"Wait, we found her. Let's hope I don't write anymore because I want to be in her arms and rant everything out."

A loud sob escaped Nehmat's lips once more as she reached the end of it, but wait—there was one more letter, after 76, and it was all about how he described her.

In the final letter, tucked away after the 76th, Nehmat discovered his unique descriptions of her:

"My Nehmat, with eyes like freshly brewed chai at dawn, where warmth and depth intertwine. Her smile was a sunbeam breaking through monsoon clouds, scattering joy in its wake. Her laughter, a melody that lingers, soothing the roughest of days. And her touch, gentle as the first snowflake, yet powerful enough to thaw the coldest heart. She is my anchor in the stormy seas of life, a beacon of love and strength. Without her, the world loses its colour, its meaning. How do I breathe without her? How do I go on?"

Reading the letter, Nehmat curled herself into a ball, sobbing as she thought about his side of the story. The words penned by him resonated deeply, stirring a mix of emotions within her already tumultuous heart. She hadn't anticipated the depth of his pain, nor the extent of his longing and despair during their time apart.

Each sentence felt like a dagger, piercing through her resolve and reopening wounds she thought had healed. Her pregnancy added an extra layer of vulnerability, amplifying every ache and sorrow described in his letters. She clutched the blanket tighter around her, seeking solace in its warmth as tears streamed down her cheeks.

How could she not have known? Guilt gnawed at her, mingling with the overwhelming sadness washing over her.

As Nehmat sobbed, curled up with the letter, a tired Shubman entered the room and immediately noticed his wife's distress. Concern etched across his face, he hurried to her side, gently caressing her belly as he knelt beside her.

"What happened? Are you in pain?" he asked softly, his voice filled with worry.

Pulling him close, Nehmat buried her face in Shubman's neck, her tears flowing freely. "I love you," she muttered between sobs.

Cupping her face gently, Shubman looked into her eyes, his concern deepening. "You're scaring me. What happened? Please tell me," he urged gently, his voice tinged with worry and love.

Nehmat hesitated for a moment, then held up the letters she had been reading. "I... I read your letters. I'm sorry, Shubi. I'm so sorry," she managed to say amidst her tears.

Shubman sighed softly, his initial concern giving way to a faint smile as he rolled his eyes playfully. "And who told you to do that during pregnancy?" he teased gently, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

Pouting slightly, Nehmat wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I wanted to. That's why," she replied softly, her voice filled with sincerity.

Shubman kissed her nose affectionately and whispered, "It's fine now. Stop crying. It's in the past and it's done."

But Nehmat shook her head, her emotions still raw. "No, I was selfish and stupid. I was supposed to fight, not leave."

Shubman held her close, feeling her trembling against him. He gently wiped away her tears with his thumb, his heart aching for her pain. "Nehmat, listen to me," he began softly. "You did what you thought was best at that time. None of this was easy, and you were never selfish."

Nehmat sniffled, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. "But I hurt you so, Shubman," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I didn't mean to cause you so much pain."

Shubman sighed, brushing her hair back gently. "I know, sweetheart. Sometimes, life throws us into situations where there are no clear answers. All we can do is learn and grow from them."

She started to sob again, and he sighed, "What now?"

"I love you so much," she managed between sobs. "You're the best. Why can't I be mature like you?"

Shubman chuckled softly and kissed her forehead. "Did I ever ask my Nehmat to be mature?"

She shook her head, tears still streaming down her cheeks, and pouted slightly.

"You're enough," he said tenderly, brushing her tears away. "Childish enough to handle both me and our upcoming child." He leaned down and kissed her belly gently, a smile playing on his lips.

She clung to him, finding solace in his embrace, and rested her head on his sweaty chest while he rubbed her back soothingly.

"So, Mama Bear, have you thought of any names for our child?" he asked softly, his voice filled with affection and anticipation.

Nehmat lifted her head slightly, a small smile forming through her tears. "I... I was thinking about Kabir if it's a boy," she said quietly. "And for a girl... maybe Meher."

Shubman smiled warmly, his hand gently caressing Nehmat's belly where their child grew. "Kabir and Meher," he repeated softly, testing the names on his lips. "I love them both."

Nehmat nodded, feeling relieved to share their future child's potential names with Shubman. She nestled closer to him, her head still resting on his chest, listening to the reassuring rhythm of his heartbeat. "I hope they'll like their names," she murmured, her voice tinged with a mix of hope and uncertainty.

"They will," Shubman assured her, pressing a tender kiss on top of her head. "Just like they'll love you, just as I do."

"Hey love," Shubman whispered, kissing Nehmat on the forehead. "I'm going to take a quick bath, and then we can cuddle after dinner, okay?"

"Alright," Nehmat replied softly, her eyes still glistening with tears from their earlier conversation. She nodded, a faint smile playing on her lips despite her lingering emotions.

Shubman held her hand gently, giving it a reassuring squeeze before heading towards the bathroom. He glanced back at Nehmat, his eyes filled with love and understanding. "I won't be long," he promised with a gentle smile.

As Shubman disappeared into the bathroom, Nehmat took a deep breath, feeling a sense of calm wash over her.

After dinner, both of them retreated to their cosy bedroom. The soft glow of the bedside lamp filled the room with a warm ambience as Nehmat settled into bed, her emotions now more settled after their heartfelt conversation earlier.

Shubman joined her soon after, his presence comforting and reassuring. He lay down beside her, gently placing his head on her belly, feeling the gentle rise and fall as their unborn child stirred within. Nehmat smiled tenderly, running her fingers through his hair as they lay in comfortable silence.

Shubman gently caressed Nehmat's belly, feeling the gentle movements beneath his hand. "Vamika FaceTimed me earlier," he said with a smile.

Nehmat looked at him curiously. "What did she want?" she asked, smiling back.

Shubman chuckled softly. "Well, she ordered me," he replied playfully. "She wants to be the godmother of our child."

Nehmat laughed and shook her head affectionately. "She's so bossy and naughty, but she will be the best godmother," she said with a fond smile.

Shubman nodded in agreement, his love for Nehmat shining in his eyes. "Absolutely," he agreed warmly. "I think she's already practising her spoiling skills."

Nehmat gazed at Shubman as he tenderly caressed her belly, her affection evident in the gentle touch of her hand on his cheek. She extended her hand towards him, a mischievous glint in her eye, making him curious. He leaned in, and she pulled him closer by his neck, their lips meeting in a long, passionate kiss. Her hands played with his hair near his neck, deepening the intimacy between them in the quiet embrace of their love.

Their kiss deepened, a blend of longing and reassurance intertwining in their embrace. Shubman responded eagerly, his hands gently cradling Nehmat's face as they savoured the moment, their connection deepening with each passing second. Nehmat's fingers traced Shubman's hair, a tender caress that spoke of affection and trust.

As they eventually parted, their foreheads leaned against each other, breathing in sync. Shubman's eyes were adored as he whispered, "I love you, Nehmat."

Nehmat smiled softly, her heart overflowing with love. "I love you too, Mirza," she murmured, her voice filled with warmth and contentment.

Shubman brushed his nose against hers affectionately and chuckled. "Mama bear getting romantic is always a mood," he teased gently, his voice filled with affectionate amusement.

Nehmat giggled softly, feeling a lightness in her heart. "I can't help it when I'm with you," she replied playfully, her fingers lightly tracing patterns on his chest.

Burying his face in her neck, Shubman whispered teasingly, "And I agree, I am good-looking and the heartthrob of millions."

Nehmat pulled his face back gently, their noses touching. She looked into his eyes with a playful grin. "And who does this heartthrob belong to?" she asked, her voice filled with affection and a hint of mischief.

Shubman pressed his lips against hers for a few seconds before pulling back slightly, his breath warm against her skin. "You, Mama Bear. Only you," he whispered, his voice tender and sincere.

Nehmat giggled softly and pecked his nose playfully. "That sounds better," she replied with a teasing smile, her eyes sparkling with affection.

Shubman chuckled, wrapping his arms around her lovingly. "Glad you approve," he said warmly, nuzzling her cheek affectionately.