imagine being colourblind
and constantly told how colourful the world is

that is depression

it is painful
it is taunting

it is lingering
it is inconsiderate

but then again
did anyone ever consider my feelings

I'm not the person to lash out or blame anyone

so I blame myself
but for once could someone else take the blame for me

so I can keep being sane

oh never mind
I went crazy the day Hoseok died
took his own life

I could do that

I could walk in front of a car
or stand on train tracks

and simply perish

but that's not what he wanted
why can't I disobey

it is painful to live Hoseok
you understood I know you did

I am colourblind
in a world full of colour

I can only see monochrome despair.

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