authors note; okay, I changed Stella's faceclaim back. I just can't imagine her differently and it felt kind of weird using someone else as faceclaim! I'm sorry for the back and forth! 😬 Stella is portrayed by Gwen Jones again. 🖤

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The moment Gabby's soft, gentle snores filled the room, Happy stood up quietly, moving without making a sound so he wouldn't wake up his daughter again. If there was one thing Gabby hated, it was sleeping, and sometimes getting the three-year-old to sleep took hours.

Nevertheless, he still ran his hand over Gabby's head and through her light brown hair. It was still a mystery to him how Gabby's hair had changed from dark brown to light brown. But according to Stella, her father had light hair, just like his siblings and their parents. So, Gabby probably inherited that from her grandfather.

After he left the room, he closed the door, leaving it open just a little, and joined Stella in the kitchen where the twenty-six-year-old was pouring the leftover spaghetti into a container before putting it in the refrigerator.

"The princess finally fell asleep?", she asked as she glanced past the refrigerator and grinned slightly. "I'll take over tomorrow again, but she really wanted to hear a story from you today."

"Yeah, she's sleeping", he replied shortly before closing the distance between them after she closed the fridge, looking down at her with determination. "You finally wanna tell me what’s going on?"

Sighing, Stella ran her fingers through her raven black hair, trying to act clueless. "What do you mean?"

"Cut the bullshit, Stella." Letting out a soft grunt, he gently pushed his wife over to the table. "Sit. And don't lie to me. I want to know what's goin' on. You might be able to convince a three-year-old that you're okay, but not me."

Happy knew Stella good enough by now. He knew when she was really okay and when she was just pretending to be okayᅳ and right now she was anything but okay. The smile she had been putting on all evening had been nothing more than fake, not once had it reached her eyes. He saw how hard it was for her to keep smiling all the time and not let her facade crumble and he needed to know what was going on.

His gaze rested on her as she silently slid onto one of the chairs and fished a cigarette out of the pack that lay on the round table. It was rare for Stella to smoke inside the house and only when Gabby was already in bed.

And right now it wasn't the best thing to grab a cigarette, Stella knew that. Nevertheless, she needed something that would ease her nervousness. Apparently she wasn't as good an actress as she thought she was. On the other hand, it was Happy who she was trying to fool.

It was impossible to fool someone who was as attentive as the SAA. It was almost impossible to keep something from Happy. But what had she expected? It was part of his position in the club to be attentive as fuck and pay attention to every little detail.

"Okay, there's something you should know", she finally began as Happy's gaze bored into her soul as he sat down across from her. "I just wanted to wait until Gabby was in bed, she doesn't have to know about this yet. Not while I don't know how to tell her what I'm about to tell you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Happy asked demandingly as nervousness rose in him, which he hid well with his stoic expression.

Stella's breath trembled as she let the smoke pass her lips. A small cloud of smoke formed in front of her, but it quickly disappeared. This was the moment she had feared the most and yet she decided to just say it.

"I most likely have cancer", she blurted out, her gaze now just as fixed on Happy. "Cervical cancer."

For a few moments Happy just stared at his wife without saying a word, tapping the old wood with the tip of his middle and ring finger as he reached for a toothpick that lay in a small bowl on the table to put between his lips.

Then, as he processed what Stella had just said, he let out a huff. "That's one pretty fucked up joke, woman."

Not surprised by Happy's reaction, Stella took another deep drag of her cigarette, her dark lipstick leaving marks on the filter, before she lowered her hand to the table and started to fiddle with her nails.

"Do you really think that, with my family's backstory and after watching Tara die because of cancer, I would actually make a joke about this?", she asked, her voice so soft and calm that her question almost sounded like a whisper. "I may enjoy good dark humorᅳ but not that dark."

"How do you know?" Happy, with the muscles in his jaw moving, shifted in his chair. "You can't fuckin' know if you have cancer if you haven't seen a doctor."

He still refused to believe Stella's wordsᅳ he didn't want to believe it. Suddenly he felt hot and cold at the same time and his nerves were on edge as he tried to suppress the nausea, the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"You probably just..I don't know.." Happy's words got caught in his throat, the pain in his chest increasing immensely.

He didn't know when was the last time he felt this way, when was the last time he felt like he was losing control of himself and his emotions. He was someone who was always in control, always planning everything carefully. .

But if it was true, if Stella had cancer, then he wouldn't be able to do anything shit it. He would have no power over it, no control, and that made him panic. Yes, actual panic. And it was a shitty feeling.

"Hap...it is what it is. And we have to accept it." She carefully slipped her fingers between his after putting out her cigarette in the ashtray. "I was at St. Thomas today because I couldn't take the pain anymore. And Charlotte insisted that I'd finally see a doctor."

"Finally? This shit has been going on for a while?", he asked with a low growl, and Stella didn't miss how hurt and angry he sounded. "What else is there I don't know?"

"Well, it started with pain in my lower abdomen, fatigue, insomnia, nausea. It got worse over the past few weeks." She tilted her head to the side reassuringly, a sad smile on her lips. "I didn't want to cause problems again. Things are finally going well in the club. No wars, no problemsᅳ and you were so relieved that I was finally feeling better again, that I was able to accept Tara's death at some point. Me telling you how sick I was feeling recently would've ruined everything again."

"What the fuck, Stella?!" Happy barked. Snatching his hand out of hers, he stood up, the chair making a squeaking sound as it slid across the floor. "I'm your fuckin' husband! Don't you think I have a right to know when my wife is feeling like shit?!"

"Happy, keep your voice down",  Stella pleaded as she also stood up and walked the few steps that separated them towards him. She swallowed quietly as she tried to put her hand against his cheek, but Happy slapped it away. "Please...I don't want Gabby to wake up and find out about this. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I really am."

Seething, Happy aggressively tapped his finger against his chest. "I should've been the one hearing about this first. Not Charlotte or anyone else!"

"I know..", she whispered with a sniffle, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Why are you so damn calm about this anyway?!" Normally he hated raising his voice, and so far it's only happened once when she went against his orders at the clubhouse shootout years ago. And now he was shouting right in her face, scaring the shit out of her.

But he couldn't stop. He was too upset to keep his emotions in check. The news that she had cancer was something he didn't know how to deal with either.

Hot tears stung in Stella's eyes as she became smaller and smaller while Happy slightly  leaned over her, her arms wrapped tightly around her body. It wasn't fear she felt, it just hurt her to see him so out of control. She knew he was trying to hide his sadness with another emotion like anger. It took a lot to unsettle Happy like that. Seeing him so hurt, looking into his fearful eyes, made her heart ache.

She just realized that she had never seen him so truly afraid, which ultimately caused the tears to stream down her pale cheeks.

"I'm not calm, Happy", she whispered with a pained smile. "Earlier at St. Thomas..I lost my shit and broke down in Margaret's arms. Afterwards I just felt numbᅳ and we both know what that means."

Stella knew that cancer would plunge her back into depression. It was only a matter of time before she got really bad and she was already dreading that day. But what she feared even more was that it could all become too much for Happy. Cancer and depression? She could understand if he would take Gabby and leave.

Happy's nostrils flared, his chest practically heaving as he rubbed his hands over his face and sniffled passive-aggressively. Why did this happen? Why did his family have to endure one setback after another?

He angrily threw his toothpick into the clean sink before looking back at Stella. As before, her arms were tightly wrapped around her body, some strands of her long hair were tucked behind her ears, allowing him a better view of his wife's profile.

It broke him to look at her at the moment, not knowing how long he still had the chance to do so, how many months or years he had left with her, sending him into a spiral of dark thoughts. He was pretty sure he would lose his mind if he would ever lose her. His wife wasn't supposed to die before himᅳ she wasn't even thirty. Stella was his whole life. What would he do without her? What would Gabby do without her mother?

Overwhelmed with the whole situation, he rubbed the side of his nose with his thumb, studying his wife again. Tears were dripping from her chin onto her black oversized shirt that she stole from his closet. As absurd as it was, that's exactly what brought a smile to his lipsᅳ a pained smile.

"I have to get out of here. I don't know when I'll be back." Feeling tears stinging in his own eyes, he sucked in a sharp breath, turned on his heels and left the kitchen.

"Happy wait, please!" Stella followed him into the hallway, desperately grabbing his arm as he slipped into his boots and slid his arms into his Kutte.

"Please don't leave now..", her voice cracked before a sob escaped her throat.

Happy couldn't even look her in the eye as she begged him to stay. But he couldn't. He had to get out of here before he would lose it, before she would see in how much pain he was. Demanding yet gentle, he grabbed her wrist and pushed her arm away before he left the house without a word, slamming the door behind him.

Stella's body trembled as she tried to accept this. With a big lump in her throat, she finally managed to drag herself into the bedroom after ten minutes of staring at the door, hoping that Happy would come back. Allowing herself to cry, she crawled under the blanket and hid half her face with it. Happy's smell that hung in the fabric caused new tears to fall.

She knew she had to give him the time he needed. And until he was ready to talk to her about this properly, Stella had to accept that he had to deal with this in his own way. Still, it hurt like hell not knowing when he would come backᅳ if he would come back at all.

At some point she felt so exhausted and tired from all the sadness and numbness, which was a weird feeling experiencing these emotions together, that it seemed impossible to keep her eyes open. Even though sleeping was the last thing she wanted to do, her eyelids became too heavy, forcing Stella to reluctantly drift off to sleep.

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The next day began with Stella having to pretend everything was fine again. Happy didn't come home all night. No text, no call, nothing.

The former Knowles had no choice but to gather her strength and take care of Gabby. As always, she packed enough food for the three-year-old's lunch, then she helped Gabby get dressed and made her two pigtails so that her hair wouldn't hang in her face all day.

Stella quickly slipped into a pair of leggings and a black hoodie before brushing her teeth with Gabby. She also applied some make-up to hide her dark circles under her eyes. If she would stop by the club later, she didn't want everyone to know how much of a troll last night had taken on her.

While Gabby was putting on her shoes, Stella put the lunch box and Gabby's bottle in her daughter's bright pink backpack before she walked into the hallway and crouched down next to Gabby to lace up her own boots.

"Mommy?" The three-year-old looked at her mother, whose hair she was playing with.

Stella looked at her daughter carefully. "Yes sweetie?"

"Why was daddy so angry yesterday?" With her big, brown doe eyes, Gabby looked over at Stella and patted her mom's arm as if she knew she wasn't feeling good.

It took a lot of strength for Stella not to let her facade fall. Swallowing, she lifted a corner of her mouth, stood up, and picked Gabby up to place her on her hip. She handed the toddler her backpack. After leaving the house, Stella closed the door behind her, making sure it was locked.

"Daddy wasn't angry, sweetie", she explained, her voice soft as she walked to her car. "He was just having a bad day, you know? How do you even know about this?"

"I woke up and heard you", Gabby admitted sheepishly, partially hiding her face on Stella's shoulder, clinging to her mother.

"Oh baby." Sighing, Stella stopped in front of her car and opened the door. But before she put Gabby in her seat, she rubbed her daughter's back. "I'm sorry we were so loud. Wanna go and see if daddy is at the clubhouse before daycare starts?"

"Yes! I wanna see daddy", Gabby nodded eagerly, her pigtails bouncing up and down.

"Okay, then let's see if he's there." With a faint smile, Stella put the toddler in her car seat, strapped her in securely and got into the car herself, heading straight for the clubhouse while turning the radio on for Gabby.

Stella got up earlier so that she could stop by the clubhouse before work to see if Happy was there. The conversation from last night left her no peace. She needed to know if he was okay, if he crashed at the clubhouse tonight. Only then she would be able to go to work and not worry all day.