As Stella walked into the kitchen to put away some leftovers from the pizza they got on their way home, humming a song that got stuck in her head earlier, a wide smile spread across her face as she spotted the huge flower bouquet. The dark red roses were her favorite flowers and only Happy knew that. So, the flowers had to be from him. Who else would get her flowers anyway?

Since they ate in the living room earlier, she hadn't been in the kitchen yet and apparently Happy had gotten the flowers at some point during the day before he picked her up from work with Gabby.

The toddler was now fast asleep after they were at the playground for a few hours before coming home.

Stella tentatively placed her hands under the bouquet and lowered her head to inhale the scent of the flowers, her eyes closed. Oh how she loved the smell of fresh roses.

In the last six years of their relationship, Happy hadn't brought her flowers often. He showed his love and affection in other ways and Stella loved him for that. But when he brought her flowers, the joy was even greaterᅳ especially because he always knew exactly which ones she loved most.

"Hap?", she called out, just a moment later she heard his heavy footsteps coming towards the kitchen. When he came through the door she turned to him with a wide smile on her face.

"Are these for me?", she asked softly.

"No, I got them for myself because I'm such a flower person", he teased with a hint of a grin, then he let out a raspy laugh as Stella punched his arm. "Next time I won't get you flowers if I get this in return."

"Oh please, you'll survive it", she chuckled before placing her hand on the back of his neck, pulling his head down a little. Capturing his lips, she kissed him with all the love she had for him and then sighed comfortably against his lips. "I love themᅳ thank you, baby."

"Anything for you", he mumbled against her lips before lifting her onto his hip so he could sit her down on the counter next to the flowers, running his calloused hands over her sides. "You know I love you, right?"

"Of course I know that", she replied softly, her legs hanging down beside him. "And I love you, I always will. As longᅳ"

"No", Happy interrupted quickly as he heard her swallow, his dark eyes staring into hers as he tucked his thumb under her chin and lifted her head slightly. "I know what you've wanted to say. You and Iᅳ we can do this together. We've been through so much shit already, little girl."

"You should be a motivational coach", Stella joked to hide her insecurities. Slowly her expression became more serious again as she slid her fingertips under Happy's shirt and let them roam over his skin, a satisfied growl rattling through his throat.

"Woman, take this seriously", he murmured as he slid his hands down her sides before rubbing his palms against the outsides of her thighs. "I know we can do this together and I don't fuckin' want to hear otherwise."

Stella found it much more difficult to think positively and she suspected that Happy only stayed  positive so he wouldn't lose hope and his sanity himself. And she didn't want to destroy his spirit, which is why she nodded curtly.

"We'll go through this somehowᅳ like we did with everything else before", she whispered with a quiet swallow. "We'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says. I just walked away from the appointment yesterdayᅳ I hope he doesn't hold that against me."

"You should've called me right away to come with you", he sighed deeply, rubbing his thumbs against her black leggings, his eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head. "But I think you're not the first one that just run away, he'll understand. When's the next appointment?"

"I know but at that moment..I couldn't think straight, Hap. If Margaret hadn't been there, I have no idea what would have happened", she admitted with a soft sigh before shrugging her shoulders. "I had to leave my number. I guess he'll get in touch when all the lab results are back."

"Sounds like I have to thank her then", the SAA grunted. Margaret was someone he would never get along with in private. But he knew that Stella liked the older woman and kept in touch with her because of Tara. Thanking her wouldn't be easy for him, but it was appropriate and his mom had raised him well.

"I'll be there at the next appointment. I don't want you to go alone", he added stubbornly, his look serious so that she wouldn't even think of going without him. "I'll stay home for the next few days to help you with Gabby anyway, unless I'm really needed."

"Happy, come on." Stella slowly ran her fingertips over his neck, her head tilted to the side. "You don't have to change your whole routine just because of me. You know how easy Gabby isᅳ she never causes any problems. I can take care of her."

"I know you can take care of her, I never said otherwise", he stated simply with a frown. "But I want to support you, is that so wrong?"

"No, of course not." Stella gave him a small smile before chewing her bottom lip. "But what do you tell the others? It's not like we're going on vacation, we're still here. What's the reason you're staying home?"

Happy shrugged his shoulders without hesitation. "I don't have to say anything, little girl. I want to spend more time with my family, that'll be enough. And I'm still available whenever I'm needed."

"Okay, if you're sure", she nodded as she finally gave in. Secretly she liked the idea of having him home more often.

"There's something else I need to tell you." He tenderly dug his fingers into her thighs to pull her closer against him, studying her questioning face. "I told Chibs about it. I don't know why, I just had to get it off my chest."

Stella hummed softly as she placed a hand against his cheek and stole a kiss from his lips. "It's okay. I mean, everyone will find out eventually anyway. And if you need someone to talk to, I'll be the last person to stop you, baby."

"I'm a really lucky bastard", he muttered with the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Mh...I'm not going to argue with you and just going to agree with you on that", she let out a soft chuckle before a yawn escaped her lips, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth. "Ugh, I'm really tired. Is it okay if we go to bed?"

Happy pushed her raven-coloured hair out of her face to admire her beauty for a moment before lifting her onto his hips again. On his way to the bedroom he turned off all the lights and then let his wife slide back to her feet.

"Are you coming with us to visit Ma this weekend?", he asked as he reached into one of the drawers of the dresser and threw a shirt of him at her that she caught with a grateful smile.

"I have to work on Saturday anyway. Just come after my shift and we can do something with her together", she suggested eagerly as she put the shirt aside and quickly stripped down to her panties before pulling the gray shirt over her head.

Then she sat down in front of her black Victorian-style dressing table and reached for the make-up remover wipes. "You wanna do something specific with her? Any plans yet?"

"Why do you have to work on Saturday?", he asked with a lifted brow as he stripped down to his boxers and then walked behind Stella. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he began to knead them. "And no, I don't have anything specific planned. Maybe we'll take her to the park. Last time she wanted to go to the playground with Gabby but there wasn't enough time left."

"Because I suddenly had to leave yesterday. Charlotte also has to come in on Saturday because she came with me. But that's okay, I'm glad that our boss was so understanding", Stella explained casually while she sighed comfortably as Happy massaged her shoulders. "Okay, then let's do that. Afterwards we can go to that Italian restaurant she likes so much."

"If you have to", Happy grunted, followed by a shake of his head before he nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan."

He was silent for a moment, just watching Stella remove her makeup and throw her hair into a low bun. She was so fucking beautiful no matter how tired she looked and sometimes he still couldn't believe how lucky he was.

"Should we tell Ma about this?", he asked cautiously as he rubbed his thumbs into her shoulders to loosen her muscles. "I think she could be a good support and might know better how to cheer you up."

"You're good at cheering me up too, Hap." Once her face was free of makeup, she threw the used wipes into the small trash can under the table and leaned against Happy. She looked at him through the mirror attached to the table and sighed quietly. "I don't want to cause her any extra worry, but I don't want to keep this from her either."

"She wouldn't want us to keep something like that from her." Besides, there was nothing that the SAA didn't share with his mother. Except for club stuff, of course.

"Then we should tell her about it", she nodded with her head slightly lowered, her hands now placed on his. "But only when we know for sure what's going on, which means we only tell her after the appointment."

"Yes, sure, anything else would just put unnecessary strain on her", he nodded with a grunt, then he gently pulled her to her feet and towards the bed.

When she slipped under the blanket, he immediately pulled her back against his chest, even closer than usual. His grip around her stomach barely gave her any room to breathe. Happy's grip was so possessive and yet Stella couldn't imagine anything more comforting than being held by him.

"Goodnight, little girl", he whispered against her hair before placing another kiss on the back of her head.

"Night, baby", Stella murmured, her voice already sleepy. While she fell into a restless but deep sleep within a few minutes, Happy didn't really manage to close an eye at all. His thoughts drifted too far away.

ᚔ

Two days later the two of them were sitting in the doctor's office. The same one where Stella was examined recently. This time it was Happy whose leg was bouncing up and down nervously while he kept rubbing his hand over his stubble.

"Hap, we don't know anything yet." Stella's gentle voice reached him as she placed her hand on his leg.

"That's the fuckin' problem", he huffed softly, but eventually placed a hand on hers and clasped it in his.

He was on the edge. The last two nights have been sleepless. He had been awake with the worst thoughts and only found some sleep in the early morning hours until Stella had to get up and he had to take care of Gabby.

"Mrs. Lowman", the doctor uttered pleasantly as he came through the door. He greeted both of them with a quick handshake before sitting down behind his desk, folding his hands over Stella's file. "Is that your husband?"

"Hi. I'm sorry that I just left last time. It was all a bit much", Stella apologized immediately and straightened her shoulders. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. "Yes, that's my husband. He can hear everything we discuss today."

"You're not the first to run away after news like this, Mrs. Lowman", he assured her with a reassuring smile that faded slowly. "Unfortunately I don't have any good news either."

Happy sank deeper into his chair as he rubbed his hand over his face, the other still clasped around Stella's. "What does that mean? Does she actually have cancer?"

"I already had a bad feeling", Stella sighed. The last thing she needed right now was unclear statements. "I just want to know how long I have left."

"Jesus Stella", Happy growled from her right as the words just burst out of his wife. "What did I tell you? You won't fuckin' die."

"Well." With a deep sigh, the doctor took off his glasses and sensitively looked at the couple. He could understand why Happy didn't want to face the fact that his wife might dieᅳ no one wanted to have to face something like that. But he had to be honest with his patients.

"Your wife has cervical cancer, Mr. Lowman. Yes, unlike other cancers, it is one of the most harmless onesᅳ but that doesn't mean it isn't dangerous. Like any other cancer, cervical cancer can be fatal", he explained, pausing when he saw what kind of conflict the biker was in, how tormented his stoic look suddenly appeared. To give him some courage, he continued. "But of course there are plenty of treatment options and better chances of recovery if you start early."

Happy could practically hear Stella's breathing shaking. When he glanced at her, he felt sick himself. Her face was at least two shades paler than usual, which was really difficult to achieve since Stella's natural skin was close to ghost white. Her makeup ran down her face, leaving thin black streaks on her cheeks as her tears dripped onto her pantsᅳ but she didn't make a sound.

"We definitely have to do something about it." Happy's head snapped to the side, his hard, piercing gaze now focused on the doctor who seemed genuinely sympathetic. "What treatment options are there? I don't care about how expensive they're. I want my wife to get the best treatments."

The doctor weighed his head from side to side. He believed the man that he would spare no expense when it came to treatment for his wifeᅳ but these were costs that he would pay for years. "There is surgery, which would be the gentlest treatment for cervical cancerᅳ but this is only possible if the cancer hasn't yet spread too much. Otherwise, only chemotherapy is another optionᅳ very effective, but with lots of side effects."

"So, could surgery be enough to remove the cancer?" Stella asked anxiously, her watery eyes landing on the older man behind the desk. "I don't want chemotherapy. I won't do it."

"You definitely will do chemo if you need to, Stella," Happy chimed in. Shit, he wasn't ready to lose her. They had to try everything possible. "You really want to leave Gabby behind? Fuck, she needs youᅳ I need you!"

"Happy please..not here", the raven-haired woman pleaded quietly. "Gabby and you are everything I think about! Have you seen Tara? How the chemo affected her? Hair loss, permanently weakened, a sunken face and her body was just skin and bones. I have watched three people dying with cancer and all of them had chemotherapy and still died. I don't want Gabby or you to remember me like thatᅳ weak and sick. That's not what I want!"

"Just because the others died doesn't mean you will die too", Happy snarled at her, his eyes filled with worry and fear. If she refused treatment, he would have to say goodbye to her and he wasn't ready to do that. Not yet, not in a few months and not in thirty years.

"It's my freakin' decision, Happy!" Stella's raised voice literally shook while her lower lip trembled. "It's my body. And I want to be remembered pretty and happy, not weak and sick. I don't want Gabby to be afraid of me in a few months because I look like a ghost."

"You can't do that, Stella", Happy barked out of panic, which the doctor also seemed to notice.

With a quiet clearing of his throat he tried to get the couple's attention, which worked. "Your wife isn't wrong, Mr. Lowman. Chemotherapy is aggressive, very aggressive and it only increases the chance of survival", his gaze wandered to the sniffling young woman. "However, this makes the chances much higher and, I have to agree with your husband, just because many people still die doesn't mean that it has to be the same for you."

"Still; I don't want this. I don't want chemo", she whispered. The fear was simply too deep that her own child would have to see her suffer in the end.

Happy looked away, his eyes partially covered with his hand as he let the whole thing sink in. And yet he never once let go of Stella's hand, no matter how angry he was and how much her decision affected him.

"Then I can't force you to do it, that's entirely your decision", the doctor nodded with understanding. This wouldn't be the first time in his career that he's experienced something like this. "But we haven't gotten that far yet. We still have to do a scan of your lower abdomen today, only then can we say whether a surgery is sufficient."

Stella took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. "Okay, that doesn't sound so bad. Are we going to find out today whether a surgery is enough?"

"No, because I would like to involve other doctors and get a few more opinions. But I'll get in touch with you next week at the latest", he let her know with an encouraging smile. "There's a good chance that surgery will be enough. I can't promise it, but of course the surgery also brings risks. And consequences."

"And what would be the consequences?" Stella glanced briefly at Happy, who had turned his attention back to the doctor. Nevertheless, she could see from his posture how much he was still struggling with himself and his own emotions.

She felt bad, she really did. It had to be absolute horror to have to come to terms with the eventual death of your partner. Shit, she could never live without him. She would beg him to do anything in his power to stay alive. So she couldn't expect him to simply accept her decision.

"During this surgery, the uterus gets usually completely removedᅳ but we can only say this for sure after the scan. Sometimes even connective tissue or parts of other organs needs to be removed. This of course also means that there's no chance to get pregnant again and menopause would begin", The doctor explained matter-of-factly and in a way that someone who wasn't a doctor would understand what he was talking about.

Stella's heart felt heavy. She had always wanted a big family and recently she and Happy had even talked about having another child somedayᅳ at least that they could both imagine having more kids. But if it meant she could survive, she would accept that fate.

As much as it hurt to know that she wouldn't be able to have any more children, she would at least be able to take care of the child she already had. And being able to watch Gabby grow up with Happy was all she wanted.

A soft sob escaped her lips as Happy squeezed her hand comfortingly, knowing how much she would struggle with that. It didn't matter how he felt at the moment, he wanted to be there for her.

"I know it's hard, but we have Gabby, little girl", he rasped before he sat up straight and pulled her chair closer so he could pull her into his arms. "And she needs you", he repeated again, swallowing.

"I know", she cried out, her voice muffled as she buried her face on Happy's shoulder.

Right now she was just grateful that he was with her, that he gave her the comfort she needed even though he didn't agree with her attitude towards chemotherapy. She needed him and he was thereᅳ and she appreciated that.

The next hour consisted of the doctor explaining a few other things and finally let Stella get the scan. Only then were the two able to leave the hospital again to pick up Gabby from Luann, who had offered to pick up the three-year-old from daycare when she heard that Stella and Happy had an appointment at St. Thomas.