This is a request. If you haven't listened to Michael W Smith's Place in This World, please do. I feel like most of them would relate to this song.

The YouTube video above is my most favorite performance of Place In This World. The reason???
Watch and you'll know. And if you have time, listen to the entire song. I know you'd like it.

...

The wind is moving,
But I am standing still.
A life of pages waiting to be filled.
A heart that's hopeful,
A head that's full of dreams.
But this is becoming harder than it seems.
Feels like I'm, looking for a reason,
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world.
-Place in this World,
Michael W Smith
...

"MUM, I'M HOME!" I announce as I shut the door and walk into our living room.

My mum pokes her head from the kitchen. "Hulo chweetii! How whadda jam?" She asks, her mouth full of something she's been cooking. A delicious smell wafts over from the kitchen as someone else other than my mum is still working the blender in there. Huh. My sister would be the only other person home and she never steps foot into the kitchen, just like me. I absolutely loathe cooking.

"Mum, I'm not gonna understand what you said when you're speaking with your mouth full," I point out. She swallows whatever was in her mouth and mumbles to herself, "Mmmmm... this is delicious." Seriously, leave it to my mum to cook and eat whatever she wanted and then praise it herself. Not that I'm complaining. Mum's cooking always rocked.

"I asked about your exam. How was it?" She asks me. The rattling of spoons or whatever vessel the person is using, is still going on in the kitchen.

"Seriously, Mum? What is it with parents and their inquiry about exams? Your daughter just came back home after finishing with her memorable 14 years of schooling, not knowing whether she should cry that she's leaving school or be excited that she's gonna go to college and all you're asking about is the exam? Where's your humanity?" I ask, sighing dramatically. Mum asks me this question when I finished each exam and every time, I replied with the same answer. It was now like a joke between us.

"Oh, Grace. I was only asking because we care about you," she says, tilting her head towards the kitchen.

"We?" I enquire. Just then, my aunt Lily comes out of the kitchen, holding a plate in her hands. "Hey, sweetie. Want a bite?" She holds out the plate to me.

"Mummy!" I squeal, tackling her with a huge hug, it's a surprise she managed to not drop the plate.

My mum shakes her head. "Whose daughter are you? Mine or hers? Your mother is standing right here and you ran to your aunt. Where's my love?" She says, feigning hurt.

"You don't get it since you asked me about the exam first. Mummy offered me food instead. Do you know how hungry I am, Mum?" I demand, rubbing my tummy to make it seem true. When, in honesty, I was nowhere near hungry.

My mum just rolls her eyes and I reach out to hug her. We've always behaved as best friends, rather than mother and daughter. I cherished our relationship and she did too. It was one of the best things in my life.

"The exam, by God's grace, was great Mum," I say, pulling out of her embrace, "I just really wish they would consider this score than the one of the entrance exam."

"Didn't you hear?" Aunt Lily asks, taking a bite of the food and swallowing it, "The Centre of Education of England announced that the entrance score will not be the only criteria for college admissions. It seems like the state exam scores will also be taken into consideration, just like last year."

"Really?" A huge grin breaks out on my face. "Oh, thank You, Jesus. That's the best news I've heard all day! I don't have to worry about the entrance now right?"

"Uh... " mum looks confused, "I wouldn't trust the Centre if I were you. Remember how they changed your syllabus mid-semester? They're well known for making nutty decisions in the middle of nowhere, no offence, so writing the entrance is a much safer option."

"She does have a point," Aunt Lily offers, "I wouldn't blindly believe the Centre's decision too."

"You two are no fun," I say, pouting, "Whatever, I'm tired. And hungry. What is it that you're cooking?"

"We're making spaghetti. Oh, it's bolognese," Auntie says, dramatically waving the plate around.

"Stop it, Auntie. You're going to drop it," I say, rolling my eyes, as she brings it to a stop before me, "Have a bite."

I took the plate from her and looked at mum and aunt Lily. These two loved cooking together but they barely had time to do it, what with Auntie's dance school and mum's teaching job. But when they did, then that day, we'd enter into food heaven. That's exactly how I felt as I ate their spaghetti.

"Okay, you better get your share now, because when I get down for dinner, I'm not giving any of you even a bite of this," I say, walking up the stairs with the plate still in my hands.

"That's not fair! What about Nathan? Doesn't he deserve to eat your I'm no longer a school student dinner?" Auntie says, making finger quotations at I'm no longer a school student, "I gave today off for my dance students just to help your mum cook this dinner for you guys."

Ah, so that's why Auntie was at home today.

"Well, that's his loss. If he's not here yet, he probably ate dinner with his friends already. I didn't even see him at school, so I have no clue where he is. And he sat a few benches behind me in the exam. Stop fawning over Nathan, ladies... I, being the good girl I am, came home, whereas your son," I say, pointing at Aunt Lily, "and your nephew," I point at my mum, "is out, who knows where, doing who knows what. Is it me who deserves this, or him? Grace, out." That said, I give the dear sisters a salute and walk up the stairs to my room.

...

My sister looks up from her books when I enter the room. "Is that spaghetti? Great, I'm starving," she says, reaching out to take the plate.

"Nuh-uh," I move the spaghetti as far away as possible, "This is exclusively for me."

"Well, I'm gonna have to take it from you then," she closes her books and cracks her knuckles as if she's in a fight. Which, considering the circumstances, might as well be true.

"Don't you dare."

"What if I do?" She challenges.

"Nia Annelyse James, don't you have an exam tomorrow? If you score less, I'm not taking the blame. It's all your fault."

"Who needs an exam when there's food available?" she says.

"Please tell me you didn't mean that. This exam you're writing, it defines your path to your future. You get to choose your primary subjects based on these grades. There's a reason why SSC examinations are held at the end of year 11 too."

"I know, I know. Which is why I need food. I'm starving Grace. I need stamina to get whatever I'm learning to get into my head."

In the end, I succumb to my sister's hunger and ended up sharing the spaghetti with her. Only to be interrupted by the idiot of my cousin, who walked into our room - our room - picked up the plate and jumped on my bed as if he owned the place.

"Nathan!" Nia and I shout in unison.

"Whoa, this is so good!" He closes his eyes as he relishes the delicacy. And then he looks at our shocked faces. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"You idiot! Don't you have the common sense to know that you never, ever take food from a girl?! Two girls, in this case," Nia humphs.

"Hey, you two are my sisters. I can take food from you whenever I want. Which is all the time," he ignores our raged selves and continues to eat.

"Sometimes, I'm thankful that we weren't born in the same womb. I can barely tolerate this," Nia points at me, "Let alone you."

"Wait, what? How did I get dragged into this?" I ask, exasperated, "Why are you targeting me now? I thought you had my back."

"You know? Sometimes, I'm grateful that you weren't born at the same time as us. The fact that you're younger, makes it easier for us to tease you," Nathan says to Nia, as he walks over to the two of us, sitting at the table.

"Seriously, now you're targeting me? Sis? Aren't you going to get back at him?" Nia turns to me.

"Nah, since you can't tolerate this," I point to myself, "and he does, I'm taking his side."

"Some siblings you are," Nia rolls her eyes. "You know what? I'm getting a plate of spaghetti and this time, I'm not sharing." She gets up and walks out of the room as Nathan and I laugh.

"Where were you at school today? We had a photoshoot at the pillar today," I ask.

"A photoshoot? Oh, you mean for the yearbook? I left as soon as the exams were done. Gavin, Rowley, Allyssa, and I went to the shooting range."

"Shooting range? What shooting range? There's a shooting range in Paddington?" 

"Laser tag," He sighs, "We played laser tag."

"And missed the last moments of school? Are you an idiot?" I ask, confused.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault! Gavin begged me to come and he offered me food," He reasons, and I roll my eyes. Thank goodness we had different friend circles, or I would've lost my senses long back. "So?" Nathan turns to me, sitting in the chair previously occupied by Nia, "Does it feel any different? Not being a student any longer?"

"Well, practically, you'll still be a student in college. But in the aspect of not being in school anymore, why don't you tell me?"

"I feel free, after having been completely stressed for the past few months over exams, practicals, experiments, and whatnot. Now, I can finally relax for the next three months before I start college."

"Typical," I roll my eyes, "All you want to do is eat, sleep and repeat. I can't afford to be like that. What with medical entrance and all."

"Oh yeah, medical entrance," Nathan rocks his head back and forth, "I completely forgot about that. But Grace, is that what you really want?"

"Of course, it is. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Grace, did you forget the fact that we grew up together? I know you better than anyone else. I know when you're hiding something. You don't wanna get into medical school, do you?" He asks, with a serious expression. He really does know me. Of all the people I thought would find out, I never thought Nathan would.

I sigh. "I don't know Nathan. I really don't know anymore. Nana's death affected all of us that I took that decision on a whim. But now, with everything that's going on, I'm not really sure."

"What is it that you want to do Grace?"

"I don't know, okay? Mum was so happy when I told her of my decision to join medical school. Don't you think I should let her keep that happiness?"

"And lose yours?" Nathan pries.

"What if it is what I want to do? What if I am happy? What if that's what God wants me to do?" I retort.

"Well if that's what you feel Nerissa," he says, dejected.

I sigh again. Nathan really does know me. Of all the people who I thought would ask me about this, I never thought he would. "Nathan, trust me on this, okay? I know I'll be happy, regardless of whether I want this or not. Because being a doctor means you save lives. And the joy of giving a life back to another person, it is like no other. I just want to experience that joy. I want to find my place in this world."

"You're listening to that song way too much," he rolls his eyes.

"Oh please. I listen to all songs way too much. I'm a song lover."

"Yeah, right. Well, I'm tired. And I'm still wearing my uniform. Lemme get freshened up and we'll continue talking," Nathan leaves to go to his room.

As soon as he leaves, I fall back on my bed, closing my eyes and rolling onto my side. On opening them, I find my guitar, placed in a stand near the wardrobe. It's been too long since I've played it, or even touched it. I take it and play a tune. I've always loved music, listening to it and playing as well. I love music so much that if it turned into a human, I'd probably run away with music and probably even get married to it. Mum always said that I started drumming the piano keys in the church when I was five. And on the advice of the pastor, they got me to learn how to play it. I learnt to play the guitar from Nana about five years back. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just start a band with my friends from church. But, as much as I want to, I know it's not possible. Because others have different ambitions, dreams they want to achieve. And none of it includes music. And, I'm too much of a wimp to even try solo.

"If only life was so much easier," I think, strumming Place In This World on my guitar. The song soothed me every time I listened to it. It gave me a voice, helping me ask God to help me find my place in this world. And I knew He would. That knowledge alone was enough for me.

...

Author's Note:

Sorry for the late update guys. I'm trying to update every Saturday or Sunday, since that would be only days I'm completely free, but I kinda had a really rough weekend, so I couldn't update on both days.
I have a request. Please do pray for my family, if possible. We all had a hard week and it's gonna be difficult for us to change back to normal. Do keep us in your prayers.

Although, I've written some of the following chapters (half of them in my Transmission lines theory and Management classes), typing them in here is much tedious task than it seems since they do not allow laptops or mobile phones in my college.

Oh, and did you watch the video? The reason why it's my favourite is because Joel, Moriah, and Luke Smallbone are singing along with one of my most favourite Christian artists. I absolutely love for King & Country and MWS and when I saw this video, I was grinning so widely.

Now, back to business. Did you like this chapter? It is meant to give an insight into Nerissa's family life and her dreams (her actual ones)

Please leave all your views in the comment section. And thank you for your support in the first two parts of Never Alone.

Stay blessed,
Destiny Grace.