RILEY

Putting my spray can back into my pocket, I take a step back to look at my work on the wall. The small image of four small silhouettes standing before a sunrise looks strange against the crumbling brick, but almost has the bright effect that I wanted. My friends used to get annoyed that no art could be perfect enough for me. It needed to be exactly how I envisioned it in my head. Today it was close... but it ended up having a lot more of a sadder tone to it. Maybe because of the colour shades I chose. I wonder if Valerie might like it.

"Hey, you!" An annoyed, raspy voice comes from behind me. I turn around to see the grumpy ghost that usually hangs out in the alleyways. He's a short, thick-bearded old white man who I'd nicknamed Santa for obvious reasons, and who occasionally served as a dead version of Hawshaw, who continues his job by shouting at me for graffitiing. Even in death, I still get lectured.

"Stop destroying the town." Santa barks angrily. "Every single time I catch you haunters you're always getting up to no good."

"I'm not a haunter. I just peacefully get on with my day alone." I reply flatly, starting to walk down the park and away from him.

"Stop terrorising people."

"I'm not terrorising anyone-"

"I saw you with that girl yesterday."

I stop walking, and turn around. "What?"

He hobbles over, looking up at me, his dead eyes squinting, and his disapproving frown deepening the wrinkles on his face."You were haunting that girl. I saw you. Leave her alone."

"I wasn't haunting her. We're friends."

"How can she see you, then?"

"I-I don't know."

"We can only make them see us if we want to haunt them. You think I don't know that? Do you take me for a fool?"

"Can you just leave me alone? I don't know why she can see me, okay? I didn't make it that way." I start walking again, but Santa decides to hobble after me, and continues to nag.

"Do you know who she is? She goes around beating kids up. People keep away from her for good reasons. That child is alone, and you are giving her a false sense of hope, talking to someone who is already long gone."

A false sense of hope. Those words hurt, but they're true. Valerie is alone. She must be happy that she has met someone. She must be thinking we can just be normal friends. But then his other words echo in my mind. She beats kids up? Was she some kind of bully? Well, whether she beat people up or not, she's clearly going through a tough time right now and so am I. She's all I have.

"Your time is limited," Santa continues, "You know you could pass on at any time."

"But I don't know what's kept me here. How can I ever pass on?"

"You've been here long enough to know that rules aren't restricted for us." He points out, "We don't know what we were meant to fulfil, so we could be fulfilling that thing without our knowledge. Then we'd go to the next place without knowing what it was. It happens, and you know that. Stop acting stupid."

Santa walks away without another word, receding back into the closest alley. He's done his job. Tormenting any young ghost that's unfortunate enough to cross his path. And it's worked.

I walk slowly this time, his words repeating themselves in my mind. I reach the skirting of the woods, and settle down by one of the tree trunks.

Haunting. Am I really haunting Valerie? Is that really the only way she is able to see me? I'm tired of constantly being conflicted about it all. Maybe it really could be easier if I told her...even if it risked losing her, or even her being afraid of me. It might be the right thing to do. But-

"I thought I might find you here."

I'm not sure about whether or not I should be happy to see Valerie right now. But I muster a smile, as she approaches, and bends down to look at me, cupping her hands over her knees. "I didn't see you at the park so I figured you'd be here."

"Well. It's nice to know you're getting to know me so soon." I immediately regret saying these words as soon as they escape my mouth. I'm going to end up hurting her one day. But I can't be lonely forever like this. But... she'd never forgive me if she found out.

Ugh, sometimes I wish I could get out of my head.

Valerie crouches down next to me, folding her arms over her knees, as she peers at me curiously. I avoid eye contact. "I like the new one you did. The sunrise one." She says, and I realise her voice is slightly muffled. When I look at her, I notice how exhausted she looks, and there are dark circles under her eyes. Her face is pale and her breathing heavy.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"A little cold. Is it that obvious?"

"Well..."

"Don't answer that."

It's because she didn't have a jacket yesterday. I remember how cold it usually is at this time of year. If I was alive, I could've lent her mine. I feel even worse now. I can't even offer her the basic support a real friend can. How much longer can we go on like this?

"You said you'd meet me at two." I say to her.

"Left early since I was sick. And there's no point going home. So, are you taking me to your childhood hideout?"

"You sure went from cautious to overly trusting pretty quickly."

"At this point I don't care if I'm kidnapped or murdered." She says casually, causing me to raise my eyebrows up in shock. She gives a soft laugh which turns into a brief cough. "It's a joke. Just take me there."

Valerie stands up, and then reaches out her hand to help me up. I lump forms in my throat when I don't take it, standing up myself.

"Okay, then. Can't touch the cough infested girl. I get it." Valerie shrugs, picking up her bag from the floor.

"It's not like that...I'm just too heavy for you to pull up."

"You think I'm weak? Because I'm a woman?"

"No. I just know I'm heavy." I give her a small smile, as she rolls her eyes. Then I remember that I'm going to the hideout where I spent my days with Macey and Ash, and I haven't been there in a long time. I also know I'm making this whole situation harder, the closer me and Valerie get.

"Let's go." I mutter, and start walking.

Valerie keeps up with me, glancing around at the woods with curiosity, as if she's never been in one before. But something else seems to be on her mind.

"How was it when you went home yesterday?" I ask.

"Alright."

"That's good."

We walk in silence a bit longer. That was probably the wrong thing to say. Why do I have to make things so awkward?

We trudge up the small hills, and through the bushes in the woods, the scent of plants and wildlife taking me back to when I used to race the other two up these hills. Ash could never keep up on his short legs, and Macey used to always be far up ahead.

"You're not supposed to be ahead of me!" I shouted out to him, as he laughed loudly.

"What? You guys are just unfit." Macey teases, as he reaches the top of the hill. Me and Ash caught up to him, panting heavily.

"I'm thirsty and I want to go home." Ash collapses on the grass. "It's always scary in these woods."

"Stop being a pussy, Ash." I pushed him playfully, making him scowl at me.

"Pussy is a bad word, you can't say that." Macey told me, disapprovingly folding his arms.

"I don't mean that one. I'm saying he's a scaredy cat." I retorted back.

"Then say scaredy cat."

"Guys stop arguing over stupid stuff." Ash said, still panting. He stood up, dusting off his shorts, as he looked ahead of us. "Look at that." He pointed, and me and Macey both turned to see what he was looking at.

An old Caravan had broken down between the rocks and bushes, the paint peeling off the sides, and moss growing on the roof.

"Ew." Macey scrunched his nose, as me and Ash started making our way to the caravan. "What if it's infested with bugs?"

Ash stopped walking. "I don't like bugs."

I rolled my eyes, leaving the other two behind as I pulled open the door, a loud creak shattering my ears. Inside was empty beside the four chairs facing each other and a tiny wooden table that only had three legs. The walls had mould growing along them, and the chairs smelled of old animals. I pinched my nose, as I heard the other two coming in behind me.

"Oh my God it literally smells like your room in here." Macey commented, causing me to shoot him a glare.

"Can we go? It's scary here." Ash said, his head barely peeking through inside. But then I had an idea.

"What if we made this place our hideout?"

"Ew."

"NO!"

"Oh come on guys. Obviously we can clean it up, and get the adults to help us. I've always wondered what it's like to live in a caravan!" I looked at them excitedly. I was so enthusiastic about the idea. My mood probably convinced them, as they eventually gave in.

My Mum was alive back then. She and the others' parents were initially hesitant about the whole thing. After all, it was an abandoned caravan in the woods. But they did agree as long as we went there supervised every time (which we obviously didn't). The chairs were taken out, and the walls were sorted. The place was cleaned, and we brought sleeping bags and storage boxes filled with spray cans and other art supplies.

We had a lot of fun in that little place.

"We're here." I stop walking, Valerie close behind me. She looks over at the caravan. It looks the same. Comfortably tucked away in the bushes.

"Wow. I didn't expect a caravan." Valerie sounds impressed, but I'm not feeling the joy I'd hoped to feel once coming back here.

I suppress every memory I have of Mum. I push her to the back of my mind every single time she seeps back into it. But this place. She did it up for us. She decorated it for us. She was here with us.

"I brought you kids some snacks..." Her voice is coming back. I don't want it to.

"What are you three even doing in here?"

"Mum, it's meant to be a surprise! You can't come inside."

"Okay, fine! I'll leave the snacks out here. Riley, be home before four O'clock."

"I know, I know."

I stood up to close the door, annoyed that she had invaded our privacy. I think she's smiling at me, amused, but I can't see her face. She's blurred. I've cropped her out.

Then there's that glass. Broken on the floor.

"It's your fault," Dad said again. "Your fault. She's gone."

I keep hurting people. Everything keeps falling apart. I'm ging to end up hurting Valerie. Then we'll fall apart.

Get out, get out.

Get out of your head, Riley.

"Hey, you alive in there?" It's Valerie's voice that brings me back.

I blink a few times, before nodding and heading towards the caravan.

"I wanted to shake you awake, but I realised you don't like to be touched. You spaced out a bit there. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about something. You know, remembering stuff."

"Right, of course. Is it still the same?"

I place my hand on the door handle, but then realise I won't be able to open it. I turn to Valerie, giving her an apologetic smile. "Um, I think it's stuck. It's been closed for a while."

"What? Let me try." She trudges over, and yanks open the door with such force that she falls back onto the grass. I burst out into laughter, seeing the perplexed and shocked look on her face, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped open.

"Gotcha." I laugh, and she stands up dusting herself off. She attempts to lunge at me to push me over, but I dodge smoothly, causing her to give me a death glare that actually sends chills down my spine. "Sorry, okay! I just needed to laugh."

"Go to hell." She mutters, flipping me off, but there's a laugh in her voice too. She steps into the caravan, and I follow closely behind.

Inside there are still three bundles of rolled up duvets stacked up in the corner, and a basket full of spray cans. The walls are still peeling, but are decorated with paintings. I glance at the old works I did with Ash and Macey. Animals, landscapes, people. Group painting had been way more fun back then. Back then...

"It feels so homey in here." Valerie says, taking in the scent of musty wood and old paint. A scent that had begun to break my heart.

"It is home." I say, quietly. Valerie turns to me, and gives me a small smile.

"Maybe...it can be my home too?"

"I'm sure the others wouldn't mind having an extra member in the group." I shrug. "Besides, I already added you to our sunrise painting."

She raises her eyebrows. "The silhouettes..."

"Yeah. There were four of them, remember?"

Valerie sighs and shakes her head. "You should get to know me better first." But I know she is happy about it. We both want all this just as much as the other.

Valerie settles down on the floor, and crosses her legs. Hesitantly, I sit down with her. It feels so strange, but I'm beginning to relax here more and more.

"I...I have something to confess." Valerie says, not looking at me. "And I'm sorry in advance. Also I don't usually say sorry to people, so just know that this is a first here."

"Okay?" I look at her curiously, but her eyes are shielded by her hair, as she looks down at the ground.

"I...I ran away from home."

I look at her. "So did I." The words come out before I can control them. But it's true. I always ran away from home. And that morning I'd escaped and never came back.

Her head snaps up. "Wait, what?"

I know that it was selfish of me to turn the attention from her to myself. But now that I have someone to actually talk to about these things, I can't control what I say.

"My house was not much of a home to me. I always escaped when things went bad, which was most of the time. I usually went to stay over at Ash's house, and his Dad never said no to that. But then one day I left and I never went back."

Valerie's eyebrows furrow in confusion. I wonder if she's going to ask me what was happening at home. I don't think I'm ready to talk about that yet. But then she doesn't say anything about that. Instead she says something that makes me feel like a complete idiot for letting a certain detail slip.

"So if you don't live at your house now, where do you live? I thought you said you were homeschooled."