RILEY

I can't help but feel selfishly relieved when Valerie says she doesn't want to go home. We've been at the park, sitting on the grass for hours. We spent time in comfortable silence, then we talked. I told her stories about Macey and Ash. I told her about all the jokes we'd play at school and on each other. I told her about some of our graffiti fails, too. She listened, and I was surprised to see how interested she seemed.

But I realise I can't fully enjoy the whole experience.

Because all that's been filling my mind for the past hour has been the fact that she doesn't know what I am. I realise that our time together is most likely going to be limited. I don't care about the reason she can see me anymore. All I care about is that I want to keep seeing her. My first friend since I died.

But am I being selfish? By making her think she has befriended a normal living human being, am I setting this friendship up for failure?

Tell her. Tell her. I can't.

But if you really want things to work out, she has to know you properly. Otherwise you know she'll find out the hard way. Your body isn't solid. You can't eat or drink. You have no home to go to. And nobody else but her can see you.

You're being foolish.

But if she can see me, what if she can feel me too? What would be stopping her from doing that?

Valerie is looking down at the grass, as she plaits it together, and so she doesn't notice my hand reaching for her hair. My heart drops to my stomach when she doesn't flinch, and my fingers fall through her. I quickly draw my hand back, and she looks up at me.

"Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine." I say, my throat stinging.

"You sure?"

"Yeah! Course I'm sure." I'm trying not to get my voice to tremble. I need to snap back to reality. How far can we really go like this? But instead, I push the thought away.

"You know we've been sitting here for hours, right?" I try to replace my fear with a joking tone. "I'm surprised you ain't bored of me."

"Why would I be bored of you?" She replies, "Besides. I don't have anything better to do."

"Aight. Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then?" I ask her. "I've just been talking about me all this time, makes me feel kinda egotistical."

"You are egotistical. The first thing you asked when we first met was if your face looked good."

"I hadn't meant it like that!" I say, defensively. "Ugh, whatever. Tell me about yourself, then."

"There's nothing to tell." She says quietly.

"Okay, I know we only met each other yesterday and all, but I just poured my heart out about my two closest friends!"

"That's on you, not me." Valerie retorts.

"Oh come on. Show some mercy to the creepy stranger who wanted to take you into them woods."

She laughs. "If you insist... what do you want to know?"

"Tell me about some of your close friends."

"I don't have any."

"That's not true. You've lived your whole life, without any friends?"

Valerie is quiet for a few moments. "I had some. Back in secondary."

"Okay?"

Another pause. "Her name was Fraya."

"You guys aren't friends no more?" I ask, crossing my legs, and leaning forward with interest.

"No. We had a fallout."

"Oh. What was she like?"

A small tug pulls at the side of Valerie's lips. "Well, for starters, she used to like to dress like a fairy."

"A fairy? Cool." Then I realise something. "That rings some bells. Is it Fraya Lynn?"

"Yeah. I suppose you would know her," Valerie replies, "She definitely stands out, being the only person who dresses like that."

"Yeah. She was at summer school with me. I used to have a crush on her, til I found out she was a lesbian."

Valerie snickers.

"What?"

"That's what everyone says." She rolls her eyes.

"Well, yeah! She's hot."

"Please don't."

"Alright, fine. I liked her style anyway. The whole fairy thing was cute."

"It was cringe, actually." Valerie retorts, "She was always over the top, with everything she did. She was one of those spiritual kinds, you know? Crystals and cards, and all that. It was stupid..." She trails off, but then says quietly, "It was stupid. But I guess it eventually grew on me."

Valerie's frown deepens, and I realise there's a certain kind of longing in her expression. Maybe she misses her friends too...

And then it occurs to me. Did she-

Valerie starts to choke up slightly, and I notice a streak of a tear trickle down her cheek.

"Hey! Please don't cry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm so sorry." I force myself to refrain from wiping away her tear.

Valerie wipes the tear with her jumper sleeve. "Oh my god, no. This isn't you. I'm just realising how crazy it is that I haven't been friends with Fraya for two years." She chuckles nervously. "I didn't even realise I was crying. God, this is embarrassing."

Valerie pulls her phone out of her pocket. "Wow, it's five O'clock. I hadn't realised how late it was getting."

"You leaving?" I ask, as she stands up.

"My Mum's gonna need me home now. She's probably cooled off a bit. But, Riley, it's been great. Really. These past few hours have been the best in a while. You've cheered me up a lot."

"So have you," I stand up, "Should I walk you home?"

"No, that's fine. You should be getting home too. We can meet again tomorrow?"

"Is that even a question?" I muster a smile.

"What's your number?"

"Oh. Um..." I fumble around in my head for a response. "Phone's messed up, actually. I'll give you my new number when I get a new phone. What time you wanna meet?"

"I have college tomorrow. After two?"

"Sure. Um...I wish you luck when you get home."

"Thanks." She starts walking down the park. "I'll need it! Oh and," She turns around briefly, "maybe take me to that place in the woods tomorrow, okay?"

I nod. "I'd love to."