❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

"I always knew you would end up like this, stupid and useless." He looked up, unable to see the face of the speaker apart from his lips which are turned downward in a scowl.

"Grandpa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this, I didn't mean to mess everything up!" Joshua begs, his hands together as he kneels on the floor, his eyes clouded by tears.

"That's the problem Jisoo! You are incompetent! That is why we don't trust you! That is why we keep on testing you! That is why everyone hates you!" His grandfather's words pierce through his heart like a knife, tears running down his adolescent face, his heart completely torn into two.

"That is why we want you to die." Joshua raises his face out of his palms and suddenly his grandfather has a knife which he uses to slice Joshua's neck, killing him instantly.

...

"No, no, no!" Joshua jerked himself up from the bed, his body quivered and shaked despite the room being fully heated.

His first instinct was to touch his neck, making sure there was no trace of detachment. It was just a nightmare, he knew that but it occurred way too often.

It had started to seem like a foreshadowing.

As Joshua cleaned the sweat from his forehead, he finally understood just how important Dokyeom was. How much of a necessity he was and how he had slowly healed Joshua during their time together.

Not once did Joshua have this nightmare while he and Dokyeom shared a bed and he hadn't had the nightmare in weeks, if not a month, since he and Dokyeom furthered their relationship.

He didn't know it before but he got it now; Dokyeom was his antidote, his only hope, his only help, his savior even.

He didn't know how to live without Dokyeom and he couldn't remember how he had lived without Dokyeom in the past.

Everything in his life had the touch and influence of Lee Dokyeom and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

Joshua eyes narrowed to the alarm clock on his bedside table which blared the time, 1pm. It was ridiculously late, Joshua usually never woke up at this time but after the events of yesterday, he couldn't fall asleep until around 5am even with the help of his pills.

He groaned as he got out of bed, still soaked in sweat and his fingers still trembling as he trudged to the bathroom, his steps slow and heavy.

He was so tired of still being haunted by his grandfather's words and his treatment. It was a major reason why Joshua never failed and never faltered. His investments always had to result in a huge amount of profit and they always did.

It was never because he loved money or because he loved his job, it was simply to make his grandfather and his parents proud. Even though he was dead already and probably still hated Joshua, even in his grave, everything he did in his life was to please his family.

Wasn't it funny? How he aimed to please the people that did nothing but take away all the pleasure from his life.

Joshua walked down the stairs after getting dressed, opening his fridge. It was stocked with ingredients bought by Dokyeom and even some stored meals including some dumplings that caught Joshua's interest.

While the dumplings warmed up, Joshua remembered the letters he'd seen in Dokyeom's message, the letters he was sure formed a name.

P

A

R

K

Apart from the fact that his name was Park, the issue was that his surname wasn't in the text message. Joshua couldn't track him down on his own.

Getting the dumplings out, Joshua set them on the table before taking out his phone, scrolling down a bit and clicking on Vernon.

"Good afternoon boss." Vernon greeted and Joshua sighed, returning the greeting. "Good afternoon Vernon, although there is really nothing good about this afternoon."

He leaned against the counter, lifting the phone upwards. "I need you to find someone for me, pretty sure it's a man, his name is Park and he's somehow connected to Dokyeom."

Joshua waited for a response from Vernon who replied with an instant, "Yes boss", bringing a faint smile to Joshua's face. "Great, call me if you find anything." He ended the call, placing his phone on the counter before turning to his dumplings.

However, as he looked at the dumplings on the counter, he imagined eating these same dumplings with Dokyeom by his side and while he was trying to respect Dokyeom and his boundaries as best as he could, it was beginning to feel like torture.

He needed Dokyeom right there, right now.

.............

Seokmin finished the letter with a 'Yours Always, Lee Seokmin' closing tag and folded it up, enclosing it in a beige envelope.

He had just finished writing a letter to Joshua. A letter that revealed the truth about why he had become Joshua's secretary, the truth behind his name Dokyeom, the assassination plan, his family background and most importantly his true feelings for Joshua.

He was ready to set himself free from the shackles of his past, his trauma, his father and himself. Even if it meant he would have to temporarily let go of Joshua, he would take the risk.

He didn't want to lie to Joshua's face anymore. He didn't want him to love Dokyeom.

He wanted him to love Lee Seokmin.

Seokmin set the envelope aside and got out his burner phone, turning it on. When it did, he went to his messages and tapped on his father's number, typing in a simple message.

'I couldn't do it father and I never will and no one else will ever. If you send any men to kill Joshua, I won't let it go father, I'll never let it go.'

He scheduled the message for February 18th, the day of his birth. He predicted that by that time, he would have convinced Joshua to be his again and he would be ready to face his father, with Joshua cheering him on by the side.

Switching off the phone, he placed it back into the drawer, closing it and locking it.

After coming back from the town square, Seokmin's view on life totally changed. He no longer wanted to be held down by his own bad decisions and so he decided to make good decisions.

To set things straight once and for all.

He was being much braver than he had ever been before. Truthfully, he was a coward and he protected himself before anyone else because he was scared but that was in the past and he was ready to move on from the old Seokmin, the Seokmin that was not someone to be proud of.

Seokmin's phone dinged then started to ring, Joshua's name displaying on the screen as it turned on by itself.

He felt bad about leaving Joshua alone but he had to do it, to protect his sanity and to calm himself down.

"Hello?" Seokmin said as he answered, the phone right on his ear. "I'm sorry Mon Coeur, I've been trying to not call, to give you your space and respect your boundaries but not being able to see you or talk to you has been eating me alive... can you just come over, please?"

Joshua's voice was melodious and his words were so genuine and sweet that they made Seokmin's lips curl upwards into a smile.

Oh, to be loved by Joshua Hong. Lee Dokyeom was surely lucky.

"I'm coming." Seokmin replied, ending the call as he put on his coat and rushed out of his house. He hurriedly took the first cab to Joshua's apartment, his legs shaking in excitement.

He too was very much Joshua deprived.

The last few hours were basically hell. It was truly marvellous that he'd managed to survive.

The vehicle stopped right outside the apartment building with Seokmin rushing to lay before running out of the cab and into the complex, then all the way up to Joshua's floor.

Just as he reached Joshua's front door, it swung open, the two making eye contact immediately. Seokmin didn't waste any time as he jumped into Joshua's arms, the familiar softness and coziness instantly hitting him.

"I'm sorry I left, I just needed some time to think." Seokmin apologized, keeping his head on Joshua's shoulder. "I know, don't be sorry, I just missed you." Joshua pulled them into the house a bit more, shutting the door with his leg.

"I missed you too." Seokmin raised his head, their eyes meeting again as warm smiles adorned their faces followed by a kiss that sent the butterflies in Seokmin's stomach racing and made Joshua's heartbeat rise.

During these sweet moments, Seokmin couldn't help but wonder.

Would Joshua be willing to forgive him?

Even though he was so broken, so evil, so insignificant.

Even though he was a traitor, a betrayer.

Would Joshua still love him?

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

Ⓒ︎𝐎𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐎𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐎𝐇
𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 - 06/10/2024
𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 - N/A