❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

"Just breathe in, and breathe out." Joshua instructed and Seokmin followed his requests.

They were now back inside the car and Joshua was helping Dokyeom with his panic attack. Joshua held Dokyeom's hands as he tried to stabilise his breathing.

Joshua's eyes were planted on Dokyeom and didn't take his eyes off at any second. He was also confused and worried but he had to be calm so Dokyeom could be calm too.

Seokmin took in a last breath and as he let it out, he stopped hyperventilating and his eyes shut as he rested his head on Joshua's shoulder.

Joshua sighed in relief. "He's okay." He whispered to himself as he hugged Dokyeom, patting him on the back gently.

Seokmin felt the weight on his chest lift off and his heartbeat settle while his eyes teared up again. This time with tears of gratitude.

He was so thankful that Joshua was beside him. He'd never had anyone on his side before, and even if he did at one point, he always found a way to push them away.

But he just couldn't do that to Joshua, no matter how hard he tried.

"Thank you." He hugged Joshua back, surprising him and the two stayed in that position until Seokmin let go, ready to go back outside.

"I can drop you off if you want?" Joshua informed Seokmin who shook his head. "Let's just finish what we came here to do." Seokmin opened the car dor and Joshua agreed, opening his side as well.

They stepped out of the car and began to walk through the center again. Joshua held Seokmin's hand which made both of them flare up and their cheeks tint red.

Although neither of them let go.

"I've finished the prototypes so we can just walk around now." Joshua told Seokmin who nodded as they walked down the street, their shoes making prints in the sheer snow that covered the tarred ground.

"Why don't you like Christmas?" Seokmin glanced at Joshua as he waited for his answer. He was curious about Joshua, because he didn't seem as privileged as everyone had made him out to be.

Joshua let out a deep breath, ready to be vulnerable. He was someone who always kept things to himself, all his issues and his insecurities but Seokmin was someone who always convinced him to open up even without saying a word.

"When I was younger, my parents would lock me in the basement, on Christmas day with rats and cockroaches and tell me to fend for myself." Joshua explained and as he remembered everything, feelings of anger and desperation seeped into him.

"They believed that if I was able to kill everything they'd kept in there without crying for them, then I would be a good heir." His head hung downwards and Seokmin tightened his grip on his hand.

He didn't know why some parents derived joy in being so cruel towards their children. He firmly believed that all children should have parents that cherished and loved them which was why he had promised himself to never have kids.

He knew he wouldn't be able to give them what they needed. Love, care and a good role model. He was everything but that.

"That's why I don't go out on Christmas day, I know I'll be in a bad mood and there's no need rubbing that off on others." Joshua added and Seokmin's expression softened as he looked at Joshua.

He had been through so much. So much that he didn't deserve. Seokmin didn't blame him anymore for turning into a villain or a devil, it was the only way he could survive.

"Do you like Christmas?" Joshua looked back at Seokmin, their eyes meeting again. Seokmin wanted to say no because he actually hated Christmas. But he wasn't Seokmin, he was Dokyeom. He was supposed to be the exact opposite of whoever Seokmin was.

"I mean, I guess it's a good holiday, never paid too much attention to it." Seokmin shrugged as he lied, he didn't want to lie to Joshua but he couldn't have Joshua find out that he was lying.

Because he would lose Joshua and he wasn't ready to let go of him.

Oh... and it would also jeopardise his mission.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Joshua asked and he noticed Dokyeom's eyebrows lift up a bit. "Talk about what?" Dokyeom replied and Joshua turned to the road in front of them.

"Your panic attack."

Seokmin's eyes also dropped to the ground, he didn't know how to explain without exposing himself, even though he badly wanted to tell Joshua because he knew he would understand.

"It's fine if you don't want to." Joshua clarified, taking the burden off Dokyeom. "I don't really want to go into detail but..."

Joshua's gaze moved to Dokyeom, he was so gorgeous. Joshua was almost unable to look anywhere else.

"My best friend died, four years ago, on this day." The words took Joshua by surprise and Dokyeom almost tearing up made him tear up. He understood why Dokyeom had panicked and why he was in such a sad mood.

"Why are you crying? I'm the one who lost the best friend!" Seokmin scolded Joshua as he wiped Joshua's tears away. Joshua was also surprised at himself for crying. He wasn't an empath so he failed to understand people's emotions including his own.

Yet here he was crying because of Dokyeom.

"I don't know... you cried first." He helped wipe his own tears off his face. Dokyeom giggled which put a smile on Joshua's face. He was okay and frankly, that was all that mattered.

Joshua had gone too far to turn back now, the only option he had was to continue walking ahead. His feelings were slowly starting to unravel themselves and he couldn't stop them anymore.

He was in love with Lee Dokyeom and he didn't feel bad about it. It wasn't an ideal situation but there were far worse combinations than boss and secretary.

The pair continued to walk around, buying snacks and other items until it started to get dark and the sun started to set.

"We should go now." Seokmin stared at the sky and Joshua nodded as they turned around, beginning their walk back to the car park.

Once they got to the car, Joshua got in first but as Seokmin was about to enter, he saw a familiar face from afar. The angular eyes covered by clear glasses, the bangs that reached his eyebrows and the height.

It was Wonwoo hyung. What the hell was he doing here?

Seokmin quickly entered the car just as he saw Wonwoo turn his head and closed the door. "What's going on? Are you good?" Joshua's hands instinctively clung unto Dokyeom's arm.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine." He assured but he wasn't fine. He wasn't fine at all. What was wrong with today? Why was everyone and everything from his past haunting him?

"Joshua." Seokmin called and Joshua, a bit taken aback, answered, "Yes?"

Seokmin, trying not to think because he was sure that thinking would only break him down even more, turned to face Joshua.

"Can I stay with you today? Just today... please?"

He didn't want to be alone today, he couldn't be alone today. If he stayed by himself this night, there was a good chance he wouldn't be awake tomorrow.

Joshua gulped as Dokyeom's words went through his ears, his heartbeat rising and his neck heating up. Why did Dokyeom want to stay with him... this night?

"I just, I don't think I can be alone today." Seokmin buried his face in his hands as he did his best to fight the thoughts that lingered in his brain.

Joshua nodded and moved his hands from Seokmin's arm to his back, rubbing it patiently.

"Yes, you can stay with me."

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

Ⓒ︎𝐎𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐎𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐎𝐇
𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 - 06/10/2024
𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 - N/A