Michael...I'm sorry.. if I tried killing myself..

I..was just depressed.. I never told you but.. I was becoming depressed each day..

I even smoke now because of it. I just don't what to do...

I could've told you everything back then... but yes, you were right.. I'm a shitty coward *tears start to fall from my eyes*

I have sometimes have nightmares about you dying with the twins..

And I worry so much about it..but I only keep it to myself

Every time I look at the mirror, I see images of the people I love with bruises and scars also full of blood..

But the truth is..nothing ever was alright..

In the morning..

It's what I used to say when I was a child. Whenever I stop to think about Dad probably torturing me or leaving us alone again..

Neither can you see your future..

It makes me feel like I already deserve to die about now...

Why did I never told anyone about how I was feeling?? Because it would mean that I would be a burden for all of you who even care for me

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Mikey's not him anymore.. he turned into the ruthless guy he was before

I don't want to call in -KingOfLies for help. It'll only mean the I'm weak and not good enough to handle the problem on my own.

I don't want to loose faith on Mikey..I don't want to believe that he's already gone because I know he's not..

But..

I-I'll try...no! I /will/ save Mikey, from his evil side, from Cassandra, from every person who holds a grudge on him and would do everything to kill him.

Because it's what Dean Winchester does... it's what a loyal and loving husband does for the man he cared and cherishes..

It's what a responsible father would do for his children. To make sure his family stays together living with each other...

I'm not a coward.. Not anymore Michael.. I'll prove it to you..just you wait.

Bonus:

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