45. rush

🕸️

During the past couple of months, Devon went to patrol Hells Kitchen, a downgrade Yelena would say. But it made her feel closer to Matt, since Matt isn't here to look after Hells Kitchen, who was? She would beat up the bad guys, a kill the really bad ones, then and there, but it wasn't the same. She would sit at a billboard, looking down at the city, wishing to have Matt by her side. Imagining if they worked together, the Widow and the Devil. Maybe she should've gone with him.

As for Matt, he was so beaten up, all he ever thought about was Devon. Her lips, her smile, her smell, her laugh, her everything. He dreamt about her every time he went unconscious. He would think of the words he said to her that night at the station.

I promise...

That promise was now gone.

"Devon." Matt croaked out as he woke up. Sister Maggie rushed to his side, seeing him reach out to who he thought to be this Devon. Everything was muffled in Matts hearing. "Where...where..."

"St. agnes. The Orphanage." All he can think of was her.

"Where is she?"

"Who?" Sister Maggie asked.

"Devon. My Devon." He sits up, groaning in pain but so determined to find her. "My Devon."

"I don't know who that is."

"Please, i need her."

🕸️

I woke up from Yelena yelling for her new dog, Fanny, i threw the pillow over my head, trying to get the yelling to a muffle.

"Fanny stop! Give it!" It wasn't working so i got out of bed and opened my door to see Yelena and Fanny running around the living room. "Good morning! You look well rested,"

"All was good until i heard you." Yelena fakes a laugh and I started to get coffee ready and getting my clothes for work. Yelena watches me as I went from disgusting to a professional in seconds. I slid my heels on and got to my coffee. "Im off to work."

"Remember that its siblings dinner tonight!" Every Thursday night, River, Yelena would make dinner and have a bonding time together, anything to make me feel better. It was nice to see them getting along. Before I headed out, Yelena steps in front of the door. "Go a different way to work okay? They're still working on that street." I just nod and started my walk to work. The crowded sidewalk was hard to get by since everyone was on their phones or stopping for no reason,

On my way to work I stopped by the collapsed building. Yelena and River knew that I stop by before work, thats why Yelena asked me to go a different way, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I stood there, watching and hoping maybe, just maybe Matt would come out of the rubble and come to me. I never really gotten over it, i cant sleep, cant stop thinking about him. Matt cant be gone, he has to come back. I have so much to say to him, so much. So much scenarios, arguments, if i ever saw him again... my phone rings in the middle of my thoughts and it was a reminder that i have 10 minutes to get to work. I took one last look at the building, and ran off to work.

🕸️

I noticed that Yelena nor River was at my place yet so I decided to head over upstairs to Matts place. I picked up his mail, opened the door with the key he gave me as we started dating. I walked in the place, organized the mail by bills, randoms and letters. I looked around and head to the closet and saw the chest where kept his suit. I opened it to see nothing there, what was i expecting? Stupid fantasy. Now i was think about the time when i came back from taking down the red room.

"I really thought i lost you." He hovers over me on the bed.

"Im here, i promise. Im not going anywhere." I played with his stubby beard. "Do you hate me for knowing what I do?"

"I don't. I would never hate you." He draws over my scars with his finger.

"I would never lie to you again. I want us." I kissed him.

"I promise to never lie to you either. Ill do anything to be with you. I just want you." He whispers to my lips, kissing them gently. "Only you. I don't care what you've done or what you will do, that will never stop me from loving you." He grabs my hand and places it over his chest. "I love you Devon."

"I love you more Matthew."  I just took a moment to look at him, all his fine lines, his scars. Something was bugging me since the night he met my mother. "Do you remember what you said to my mother? Our future?"

"Yes. I meant every word." My smile turns into my lip quivering.

"A family?" I whispered to him. "I can't give you that. I know thats what you want, but-" I started to cry. "I cant have them." Matt hushes me, wiping my tears away. "Im so sorry. Thats all you wanted and i can't give you what you want the most."

"Hey hey, don't be sorry." He kisses my cheek. "Thats a long way from now. We don't have to have kids, maybe if we do, theres many opportunities out there for us. Don't you ever think that ill be mad because of that. Like i said, im happy with you, and only you."

There was a knock and I turned to see Foggy walking in. I licked my lips. He calls my name out and sees me smiles. One of the comforting smiles i liked.

"Hey, thanks for coming." I told him.

"Yeah its no problem but, I remember you said you were packing the place up." He caught me.

"Yeah. Uh so I talked to Matts landlord and ive been paying his rent. Surprise!" I put up some jazzed hands.

"So when you called me to help you move..."

"Yeah, i lied." I played with my fingers. "Its more of a ruse then a lie so..." foggy chuckles.

"Gotcha. You rused." I hummed. "The scientist life has changed you Hobbs. So what am i doing here?" I let him followed me to the living room. "Are you living here?"

"No, im just paying the bills." I handed him the eviction notice on Matts place to him. "I need your help to convince the landlord to give me an extension."

"Devon-"

"Carrying two rents, since Yelena moved in rent went up and Ive been helping Natasha with some stuff that I should not say in front of you because im breaking the law. But I'm just behind this months. Thats all." Foggy sighs. He sits down and he pats the open space for me to sit. I slowly kneeled down and faced him. Felt like I was in trouble and Alexei had to talk to me when i was younger.

"As much as it hurts me to say this, you're a scientist, look at the facts, the evidence, a building fell on Matt. A big one. And nobody's heard from him since. Im sorry devon but Matts dead. Thats the first time ive said that out loud." He stares at the table in front of him. "I dont want to accept it either. Especially since im the one who... you know..." i held his hand. "Brought him the devil suit."

"No. Dont do that to yourself. It was his choice. He would've gone with or without it. I let him go, and he knew."

"I know." Foggy looks at me. "I know that this is hard for you. Matt was everything to you. But I've talked to Yelena and River, they are worried about you. Like really worried. Like you still go down the road were the building was, taking over Matts patrolling." I sat back on the couch. "River said that he walked in to something that wasn't you. I don't want you go down this dark path, i know that you don't have a lot of friends, Karen and you are still on not speaking terms, and Frank, well he's Frank. And its just me, and i want you to know that I am here for you."

"I hate to say it, but i know he's alive. I can feel it." I touched my heart.

"Fine, just this month." Foggy takes the bill and I stopped him.

"No, don't. We can 50/50?" He nods. "Thank you Foggy, really."

"For you, anything." He smiles. "What are you helping Natasha with exactly?"

🕸️

I came down to my place and the place smelled like macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets. River and Yelena stood awkwardly in my bedroom doorway.

"Welcome home!" They yelled. I took off my heels and crossed my arms.

"What have you two done now?" Yelena elbows Rivers arm to speak first.

"Well, we know that its been a rough time, you've been lonely and Yelena and I came up with an idea."

"Guys please, i don't want to move on. Enough of setting me up. Im not ready."

"You know I got Fanny, so I thought, it would be a good idea to give you him." They stepped aside and revealed a Doberman in my room. "A dog is a great best friend." The dog came up to me and starts licking me. "See, he likes you."

"A dog? You got me a dog?" They nodded. The dog looked up at me and licks my face again. I guess he can stay.

"Yeah! So, what are you going to name him?" I looked down.

"Rush." I petted him. "His name is Rush." Rush started playing around with Fanny in the middle of the room.

"Thats a perfect name." River smiles. "See, you guys can bond, Rush is here for your whatever needs."

"Im actually going to bed, im tired and i have a early thing tomorrow." I smiled and went to my room. I opened my window and crawled out.

"Shes going out isnt she?" Yelena nods and opens the door, window open and suit gone. "Great." River tuns to the window snd watches me jump off the fire escape. "I got you the good dinosaur nuggets! You little  weasel!" He cursed to the air.