Emily's POV

I sat at my windowsill, watching the raindrops, fall against the glass.

It was a cold,and dull Saturday morning....I had absolutely nothing to do....And that worried me.

Because,I know that, whenever I'm idol,or have nothing to engage me,my mind begins to bring back thoughts,that I've managed to keep aside for a long time.

And I hated that. I hated the way my brain worked.

I hated it.

I tried to keep myself occupied, by reading...finishing some homework....Sketching...painting my nails...Almost everything that I could possibly do...

Everything was going fine,until my mum called me downstairs for lunch.

On a regular day,everything would have gone smoothly...I would have gone downstairs, without any hesitation.

But one thing that came to my mind instantly was,

Are you really hungry? You can do without lunch today,you'll be fine.

I wanted to give into that thought. I really,really wanted to...but I knew that if I did...All of my progress...all of my hard work,would be put to waste.

I take a deep breathe,and push that voice away,walking towards my bedroom door.

×

"Emily,is everthing alright? " my mum questions,as I pick at the vegetables,scattered across my plate.

I swiftly look up,no expressions on my face.

"Yeah,no..I'm fine"

My mum nods slowly,and picks her fork up.

My dad ,who was sitting opposite me,shifts uncomfortably in his chair,before letting out a cough.

I ignore him,and continue to push the food around my plate.

I was doing fine. I was able to put the food on my plate,with no problem at all.

Until the voice came back,and I didn't try to push it away.

You've eaten enough,don't you think?

All of a sudden,I wasn't bothered to ignore the thoughts.

I gave in,without even realizing.

I continue to stare down at my food,only hearing quite sighs,and the sound of cutlery moving around.

My mum knew,exactly what was going on. She glanced at me a few times,this...this look of worry,and sadness in her eyes.

She hadn't looked at me that way,in years. She wasn't supposed to look concerned, since I'm supposed to be okay,now. I should be okay.

Why wasn't I okay?

After 5 minutes, of excruciatingly painful moments of silence, my dad speaks up.

"Emily,what is wrong with you?" He questions, placing his fork,down on his plate loudly,causing me to flinch.

"Aren't you older now?..Huh? " he asks,a tone of rage,in his voice.

"Aren't you over that bloody phase?" He spits.

As the last word,leaves his mouth,my eyes begin to well up with tears.

"John..." my mother whispers,looking his direction.

I look up,throwing my napkin onto the table.

Phase. He thinks it's a phase.

I get up swiftly,walking toward the staircase, tears slipping from my eyes.

I hear my mum call,but I keep walking,before I reach my bedroom,slamming the door shut.

Phase,he thinks it's a fucking phase?!!

I sob softly,before leaning against the wall.

My dad was never able to realize the fact that something was wrong with me. He was never ready,to accept the fact that,I had an eating disorder.

He just refused to believe it,and continued to think that I would get through it with the snap of a finger.

Even after everything,I went through...Therapy...treatment...years of counseling...he just couldn't digest the fact that,something was wrong with his daughter. Which made it seem like,he didn't care.

Which hurts so much.

All I needed was support.

But sadly,I didn't get that for a long,long time.

I didn't keep everything hidden away for long. Oh no... I saw a counselor at  school,only one year into my mental health issue, knowing that if I didn't receive help soon...I wouldn't be able to get through another day,in my life.

But sadly,that didn't help at all.

In fact it only became worse.

My parents found out about,1 and a half years,after it all started.

My mum,found it hard to take in,but soon she understood. And tried to be there for me,however she could.

But my dad,on the other hand...just couldn't process it.

He refused to believe it.

It was just me,myself and I.

No one else.

I suffered like this for 3 years,before finally opening up to Melanie.

She always knew something was wrong,but everytime she would ask,I just shrugged it off.

Telling someone that I trust was everything that I needed.

It felt like a weight,had been lifted of off my shoulders.

Ever since,Mel was the only person who I could talk to.

And with that thought, I grab the phone of my bedside table,and give her a ring.

"Hiya,babes!" She chirps, sounding cheerful as always.

"Hi.." I answer weakly.

"Emily, is everthing alright??" She questions, immediately.

My breathe hitches in my throat,as I take a deep breathe to answer,

"No..Erm..My,.." I sniff,trying to make it through the sentence,without breaking down.

"My,um..Dad..he..he lashed out on me..erm..a couple of minutes ago..about..about my.."I try to finish, but let out a soft sob,as I clutch the phone to my ears.

"Em...Hey,listen to me..I'm here ,alright? Anything you need,I'm always here." She reassures, with a soft sigh.

I hum in response softly,before speaking up again.

"Do you think...you think you could come over? Just for a bit?"

"Aw,love of course I can...I'll be over in ten...Anything that you need?" She asks.

"No..no..erm..Your presence is all I need,right now.." I whisper softly.

"Always,Emily.." she cooes.  "You know,what's gonna make you feel better?"

"...What?" I ask,a small smile playing on my lips.

"A bunch of comfy pillows,a Romantic comedy..and of course,Me." She jokes.
"I'll be right over,so get your laptop ready!!" She calls,excitment in her tone.

"Okay," I chuckle softly,before cutting the call.

I sigh,before sitting down on my bed.

She was right..That's exactly, what I needed...

A/n This chapter was quite hard to write for me,speaking from personal experience. If anyone out there suffers from any Mental health issues, or an eating disorder..Please know,that you are loved. And that you are cared for. And if you haven't, please look out for help. I promise to you,that it will get better.

All the love - V