Harry's POV

Friends? Just friends?!?! What is wrong with me? I don't wanna be "Just friends" ..No...no,I don't...God,I really don't...The moment we shared the other day....It was perfect.. Absolutely perfect....She's perfect....

"Hey..?"

"Hellooooo?"

"Earth to Harold "

My head turns over to face Zayn who just chuckled and shook his head.
"You wanted to tell me something?" He questions,throwing a ball against the wall in front of him.

"Oh,erm..Yeah,sorry.." I say,placing my palms over my face.

"You remember that me and Em,kissed right?" I begin,leaning back beside him.

"Yeah,I do.." Zayn smirks,catching the ball back in his hands.

"Well..." I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "I kinda told her...That we should just stay..Friends. "

"You did what?!" Zayn asks,throwing the ball at my chest,causing me to glare at him.

"Okay,first of all...OW." I state,throwing it back at him. "Second of all....." I say before staring into space for a bit.
"I fucked up" I groan,running my hands through my hair.

"Yeah,no shit." He scoffs,sitting up straight.

"Oh great,I knew you would be of great help" I say,rolling my eyes.

He sighs,"Its not that hard Harry"

"What?! What do you mean,its not that hard? Course,it is!!"

"Look." He begins, "I don't know how you do it...But,normal people...Do it like me" he says,crossing his legs against the bed. "I had feelings for Perrie.
Perrie,had feelings for me. I caught up with her after school,and asked her out. And thankfully, I didn't end up getting smacked across my face." He finishes,seemingly proud of that last sentence.

"That sounds okay..." I nod,looking down at my lap.

"See?" Zayn smiles,patting me on the shoulder.

"Well......" I sigh,looking up at the ceiling this time.

"Welllllll...?" Zayn asks,pushing me on.

"Its not that easy,for me...I don't know how to explain this to you,Zayn..But...its like...Part of me wants her to be mine..It wants her to be mine,so bad...But,the other part of me..Just..Just wants to be friends..Best friends,like we are now.." I say,finishing with a long sigh.

"Hm" He hums,playing with the ripped part of his jeans.
"I think I might know why...."

"Really? What is it?" I question,genuinely curious to know.

"Your probably, just Chicken. " he states,patting my shoulder.

I give Zayn the dirtiest look,I've ever given him, before pushing him by his arm,Making us break into laughter.

×

I let out a huff,as I place the grocery bags on the cold wooden floor.

I had just gotten back from Zayn's place,stopping by at the store before getting here.

I've noticed that I'm spending way more time at his place,than in my own home.

If you can even call this home.

I just..I feel so comfortable around his family,its crazy...I've never felt that way,in a long time and it feels amazing.
His family is so welcoming,and caring ,that I couldn't be more thankful.
Zayn's like a brother to me,and honestly I don't know where I'd be without him,and of course, the other boys.

I think about all of this,as I stock up the small cabinets around the kitchen.
I kneel down,to a couple of smaller cupboards, not really knowing what they were for.
I open them up,to place a pack of kitchen towels in there,but soon realize that these cabinets haven't been used in ages.

I let out a cough,as dust fills the air,the moment I open the small door.
I try as hard as possible,not to breathe in all of the particles in the air,as I look into the shelves.
I find a couple of old newspapers and dish liquid 

I reach in,taking the newspapers away,to throw since it just took up unnecessary space.
As I'm walking up to the dustbin, a small object falls out the papers,making me frown. I pick up,what seemed to be another piece of paper from the ground, before throwing the newspapers away.

I lean against the wall,as I turn the paper over,my eye widening as I read the words written down.

"To: Robert Styles "

I recognized that handwriting.

Oh,it was all to familiar.

I swiftly open up the old envelope in my hand,taking the paper out of it carefully.
I place the discolored envelope on the kitchen counter,before unfolding the letter. I take a deep breathe before, reading it carefully .

"Dear,Rob..And,My beautiful, beautiful boy Harry..

It's been Three months. Three months,since I left...I hope you're doing well...Just know that I miss you...The both of you...H..My sweet,sweet Harry...I'm so sorry,love..I promise to you,I had no intention to hurt you."

My eyes well up with tears,as I read those lines.. I know she didn't mean to hurt me. But,I just couldn't help it. I was hurting. I've been hurting for a long time. And,sometimes it feels like it's never going to go away.

"I hope you understand. But,you can't...You can't understand....I'm sorry..I'm so sorry,I haven't given you a reason for my departure. And,I just can't do it yet.Because,honestly..I need some time to figure it out myself.."

Wait..She didn't know? What was that supposed to mean? Or did she know? Maybe she wasn't in a place to tell us just yet...I skim the letter,in Hope's to find a clue to the reason,but frown as the writing begins to get messier and messier as it reaches its end. It seemed like she was in a rush of some sort. I read the last couple of sentences, which left me beyond frustrated and confused.

"...I..I have to go..I'll write to you again..I promise that to you.."

Keep safe,my love ..

- Anne

No..no,no,no...Where are the other letters?? Why did she stop writing, midway? There were so many questions running through my head,as I wiped away a few stray tears that scatterd amongst my cheeks.

I kneel back down,still holding the letter close to me. I rummage through the cabinets in a hope to find the other letters.

Nothing.

It was empty.

Where did he hide them? Where could they possibly be,in the small Excuse of a house?

I was to engrossed in finding the letters,that I didn't acknowledge anything around me.

And god,I wish I did.

"..What do you think your doing?" He calls,from the front door.

"Fuck..." I mutter to myself.