I AM sorrow's sister.
You'll feel me in the quiet moments, in the absence of all things lovely.

In the abandonment of prosperity I'll thrive,
I am sorrow's sister.

IRENE sat in the quiet company of the trees; plucking pieces of grass from the ground. What started as a short bathroom break— turned into her wandering around the woods near camp.

As the hours in the day started to dwindle, the heat became more and more tolerable. The temperature wasn't as jarring, and a faint breeze fluttered throughout camp now. It was one of the better evenings they've had.

She wasn't supposed to be out this far. It wasn't close enough for full comfort, but it wasn't far enough for her to be worried either. It walked the line of dangerous, which almost felt comforting to the brunette.

Now resting up against a tree, she looked down at her fingertips. Her dirty nails made her mouth twitch and form a look of disgust. She missed soap.

Her hands searched her pockets, going from one to the other after she was greeted with emptiness. Irene took out one cigarette she had hidden the last time she wore these jeans, it was only mildly smushed.

Her lighter usually remained in the tent, but before she left, Irene had snuck it out in hopes of a smoke break as well. This one wasn't from Daryl, she had stolen it from Ed when he wasn't looking.

There was no guilt though, she had no sympathy for the man. He angered her immensely, all he did was smoke and lounge around lazily. He didn't help the camp or anyone for that matter. Earlier that day she wanted to take Sophia on the walk with her and Carl, but he wouldn't allow her to leave his side. It boggled Irene as to why someone who seemed so bothered by his own family, forced their company.

She took out the dainty silver lighter, its exterior scuffed and scratched from its old age. She didn't remember when she took it. It belongs to her step father— belonged, to her step father. it was just one of those things that became hers.

For a fleeting moment her eyes fell into the flame. Its warmth swarming in her irises.
She always liked fire. When she was a kid, one of the first houses she lived in had a fire pit in the backyard. Sometimes her step father would bring back this special stuff, even now she didn't know exactly what it was... He'd put it in the fire and it would turn all different colors.

It amazed her each and every time without fail. Her favorite was always when it changed to green. She thought it was the most "magic" looking shade. While her logic around that had matured, she still wished she could make this flame green too.

Eventually she lit her cigarette—or "cancer sticks" as her brother would scold.

Stop.

She had been thinking about her family too much.

—

Reed sat with Shane, Carl, and Lori. Beginning to wonder where his girlfriend was, his head switching sides every few seconds to see if she appeared. She usually wasn't out of sight for this long.

"If you think this is bad, wait till you start shaving." Carl was complaining about his hair being cut, Reed smiled at the interaction. His mom always tried to do his hair, but some people aren't made for hairdressing... his mind went to his 3rd grade yearbook photo, his once long hair shaved down to a buzz cut after his mother hadn't been able to make the sides even.

Now the thought only made him regret letting her go. Maybe he could've done something to make her stay. Every day it seemed less likely she was coming back. He shut down that thought, if he started thinking that way then it would for sure happen. He had to hold out some form of hope.

"Right Reed?" He halted his swiveling head, tuning back into the conversation around him.

"Trust me bud, you've got it easy right now." He added, Shane raising his eyebrows and giving the boy a look of "told you so."

—

Each inhale and exhale of that cigarette was pure relief to Irene. It felt like breathing in fresh air. She was well aware of the damage it caused; but she was probably dying soon anyways right? What are the chances she makes it for another few months, another few years? No.

She wouldn't last that long.

She took another big breath in, the taste and smell burrowing itself in her senses. Reed wouldn't like this, but Irene knew he wouldn't like a lot of the things she was doing to herself lately...

As she went to take another puff, her hand halted upon hearing the startling sound of an alarm. Her body froze, trying to make out what or where the sound was. Was it getting closer? She couldn't tell.

She didn't wait to find out, running back to camp with urgency to get away from the woods. She wasn't sure if the sound would attract walkers, and she didn't want to be the one to figure it out first.

"Talk to me Dale!" Shane shot up from his spot, Reed following closely behind.

He scanned through his binoculars, vision not set on the source. "I can't tell yet."

"Is it them?" Amy spoke from Reed's side. "Are they back?" Her voice weary to get too hopeful.

Irene found the clearing, seeing the tents become closer and closer. As she frantically ran to get to camp she became less and less mindful of her surroundings. In the back of her mind she only had hoped to not run straight into a tree.

A concussion wouldn't be ideal.

Her head became dizzy after slamming into someone, their frame seemingly just as painful as a tree would've been. "Woah there." Shane cooed, taking her arms in his hands, propping her up straight. "You're okay, it's all good."

"They're back?" She questioned hectically, turning only to see a bright red vehicle pull up next to the RV.

"Holy crap turn that damn thing off!" The group all surrounded the car, Irene staggering behind.

"I don't know how!" Glenn shouted over the blaring alarm, stepping away from the scarlet car. Amy instantly berated Glenn with questions about Andrea. Irene couldn't make out his answers, everything had remained too loud.

She gathered herself from the unsteady stance she had taken. Her breathing becoming less jagged. Shane took his hand off her arm after seeing her become grounded. His head seeming to turn to something Irene's eyes couldn't follow.

Irene took a few steps past Shane, trying to follow his eye line—seeing a man in a police uniform, his face was foreign to her past knowledge. People were speaking, but her ears fuzzed as she set sights on who was beside the stranger. Diane.

Reed bolted to his mother, being as gentle as he consciously could; though the embrace they shared seemed bone-crushing to any observer. Bending down to Diane's height, his hand falling onto the back of her head as the embrace softened.

He held onto her as though she would slip through his arms and vanish. The fear of her not returning was eased, but the realization of that simply being a fluke struck Reed without forgiveness.

Irene's smile seemed to fall, witnesses the numerous reunions surrounding her. The reality of her now being orphaned seeming to hit. She wasn't with them when things got bad, she didn't know if they made it out.

for some reason she had felt as though they were dead, and Irene scolded herself for that thought. She was ashamed to think it, but she had an aching sense of it all. Maybe she was wrong, or it was just some random gut feeling that meant nothing— but she couldn't help but feel a shift.

She felt it after her grandmother died when she was eleven, there was a distinct difference in the way breathing felt after she was gone. Almost a stuffiness. A lack of clarity.

After the outbreak reached the destruction it had now become, the air felt polluted. It was thick with loss. She didn't know if that was her own to claim or simply the amount of death that fell around her.

She always stopped her thoughts when they wandered to her family. Not being able to stomach the thought of her little brother being eaten alive. her mother screaming at the carnage while her step father had to hold her back from her baby boy pleading for help.

There were times she lingered too long on the idea of it and ended up vomiting on the grass. Her stomach had become so weak. She thought. The constant nausea or vomiting starting to upset Irene greatly.

When she couldn't let the thoughts go, she'd dig her nails into her palm, pinch her arm, bite her cheek. Any form of pain to replace what she was thinking. It usually took awhile for that to work, until it did, she'd have to cause more pain.

The worst it ever got was on one of the nights she couldn't sleep. That night lasted longer than the others, Irene getting to see the sun rise before she went back to the tent. She had to take out her pocket knife to stop the attack of horrid scenes her mind was displaying.

The blood stains were hard to hide, but she made it work best as she could.

She just kept seeing Tanner's mutilated body, laying limp in a pool of his own blood. His eyes glazed over, the color in his skin receding by the second. Chunks of his organs spilled out on her house's hardwood floors.

For some reason, more than anything else that she'd seen since this started, that singular thought alone was the most haunting.

Irene noticed Diane limping over to her, not realizing that she had been zoned out for the duration of their reunion. Once she reached the younger girl, Diane simply took Irene's hand. Her eyes saying all that was needed.

Diane knew Irene would take care of her boys, everyone was scared—but Irene would stay solid no matter what, she wouldn't let anyone down by being weak.

Irene didn't know that though, she cracked and trembled at the plain sound of a car alarm. She couldn't sleep at night without draining her body of all energy. Her body was full of cuts and slashes that were used to quiet thoughts she couldn't control.

Irene only ever felt weak. Why did everyone always assume she wasn't? What was it about her that gave the impression of fortitude? All she felt was fear.

Somehow, some way, the man that helped save Diane and the others was Carl's father. She was overjoyed for the boy, he had talked about his dad often. Always bringing up how brave he was, or how he was so strong. That he was in a coma because he was fighting the "bad guys" and fatefully got shot.

She didn't want to stare at the family's reunion, all three of the grimes' brought to their knees, sobbing into each other's arms. She felt it was invasion for her gaze to linger.

Instead she walked over to Glenn; thankful he made it back. The two had become fast friends in camp, Glenn, Reed and herself all around the same ages.

He quickly met her halfway— seeing her head towards him, enveloping her into a hug. After he let go of Irene, she surveyed the camp—seeing the one person she was dreading returning, missing.

"Where's Merle?"

//  C'S NOTES
This is pretty short and not the BEST, BUTTT I was so excited to write more and couldn't wait. hopefully soon I'll give you guys something better AND longer !!!

And this is once AGAIN, not checked or edited, Goodluck trying to ignore zee mistakes 😔

GLENN AND IRENE OMG I CANNOT WAIT TO WRITE THEIR FRIENDSHIP IT'S GONNA BE SO SWEET💔💔💔

I can't wait to be finished with season one, I love the farm plot line so much 💔

Thank you all for reading, commenting, voting. Having this book as a way to get myself writing again is truly helping me get out of a really really dark place <3 thank you with all my heart💗💗