TENDERNESS is a luxury.
Every piece of softness has become limited. Every moment of devotion has become endangered.

Touch me with unconditional urgency,
for I have become scared for its extinction.

REED sat up against the RV, head in his hands. He had become plagued with these headaches. His Mother believed it to be stress. Reed didn't know what to make of it, he just knew it was annoying him. Waves of the bitter feeling of his skull being squeezed overtook him in a simple moment.

Unbearable as it was, he blinked his eyes trying to surpass the pain. He told himself it would pass, it always did. Eventually.

He let go of his head, his hand running over his face. It was warm out, though the sun remained hidden behind clouds. Distant thunder rang throughout camp, the atmosphere slyly paling. The heat wasn't extreme, but it wasn't helping his head either.

From where he was sitting he could glance over at most of the camp. Most of the tents were vacant due to the trip in Atlanta. Each night he went to bed in his tent—Reed worried his mother wouldn't be back to hers... Everyone was hopeful at first, but now the faith in their return has started to simmer out.

Irene reassured him that she would be back, that she wouldn't leave if she didn't think she'd be back. He knew she was right in many respects. Although he couldn't help but notice the shifting her eyes did when the subject was brought up. Irene was just as scared, just as uncertain. That's what worried him most, if Irene was scared, he ought to be terrified.

Man up.

Reed couldn't be weak, that's what his father told him. He had to be strong for his mother, cousin, and most importantly to him.. Irene.

He had been too spineless, as his father would say. He could almost hear him say it, scolding him with his all too familiar stare. That look he would give. It meant either Reed or Diane were about to get an earful.

While Reed lacked fond feelings and memories of him, it was his father's dying wish for him to be the "man." To protect his Mother. He owed it to him, or at least felt that he had a debt to pay for being such a shitty son.

His father wouldn't be proud of how we was acting lately and it was eating at Reed's mind relentlessly.
Though, his father never was proud of him, so what difference did it make?

"Hey Reed!" His hands left his face, eyes shooting over to the voice calling his name. "Reed!" Before he had the moment to process the words Carl had started speaking.

"Have you seen my book? You know the one Irene gave me—I can't find it and I want to show Sophia my drawing." He was out of breath once he finished, spewing all of that out with excessive haste. He took a few steps back after realizing he was almost hovering over Reed.

The Broods were always kind to Carl, coming from a family with plenty of curious little boys. For them, it was simply plain to be gracious with him.

Reed saw others be unnecessarily short with him, their eyes rolling or tone too harsh. He was just a kid.

"Uh no I don't think so—" Carl's face dropped, his demeanor becoming deflated. "—but we can find it." Reed added, standing up from the grass. "Come on, I'll help you look." He nodded for Carl to follow, the younger boy trailing by his side.

"Any luck?" Lori's eyes moved from Carl to see Amy and Irene walking back with their buckets. The two seemed to almost shrug. Amy looked over at Irene for her to speak first. She looked back at the bucket, eyes squinting as if that would make her somehow know better.

Irene sighed, no luck. She wasn't exactly "educated" in mushrooms. "We got some but-"

"-How do we tell if they're poison?" Amy's eyebrows furrowed, her confusion blatantly translating to Lori.

"I think some of these might be good..." She glanced at what she collected. "...but I'm not sure." She huffed, Irene wiping the sweat off her top lip with the back of her arm.

"Uh, there's only one sure way I know of." Lori took the bucket, her head turned back at the girls.

"Ask Shane when he gets back?"

"Yeah, you've got it. Thank you." She shrugged, standing up and walking away from the pair.

"Dale, I'm heading out." She called over, the white haired man sitting atop his RV. "Reed could you watch Carl for me?"

He stopped looking for the book, getting up from his crouched position by one of the tents. "Yeah sure." He nodded.

Lori mouthed a thank you in gratitude "Sweetheart I want you to stay where Dale and Reed can see you, okay?"

"Yes mom" Carl absentmindedly answered, preoccupied with looking for his book.

"You too. Don't wander too far. Stay within shouting distance—" Dale vociferated to Lori, cautioning her. "—And if you see anything, holler. I'll come running."

—

"You ass!" Irene exclaimed, laughing as she started gathering up her cards. Mickey and Reed both chuckled, finding her outburst amusing.

"I don't know why you guys are laughing, I'm gonna win." Irene warned, smiling over at Reed with a daring grin.

"Didn't Reed just go out?" Mickey teased. Lightly nudging Reed's side.

"We don't need to talk about that." She jokingly put her pointer finger over her mouth.

Reed and Mickey handed their cards to Irene, the self appointed shuffle-er. Mickey won the cards in some stupid bet with Merle Dixon. One person Irene was vaguely guilty to say she wished wouldn't return.

Merle hated the Broods from day one after Diane shut down his advances towards her. Thoroughly disgusted by the man, Diane wasn't anything but blunt in her response.

Irene tried to remember if she used the words "Filthy oaf" or "Redneck pansy." Her response might seem harsh, but the comments Merle made prior were vulgar—Irene became physically uncomfortable at the mere thought of what he had said to her.

She herself had a discomfort in knowing that he was simply in the same area as her. Irene didn't want to see, hear, or smell that man. His brother... she blanked on the name... Daryl. She didn't have much interaction with, he was quite quiet whereas his brother seemed to have his jaw bolted open.

Daryl once gave her a cigarette, finding Irene wandering the camp one night, her insomnia just beginning at that point. She played with her sliver lighter, igniting and extinguishing the flame—over and over again. Her smoking was a loose habit, nothing serious. It was something she had always kept secret from Reed, knowing he wouldn't approve of it; regardless of how casual it was.

"What are you guys playing?" Carl spoke from behind Mickey's back. He turned , seeing Carl on his tip toes to observe their game.

"It's called push." Reed answered, starting to shuffle the decks back together.

"Can I play with you guys? Reed's eyes darted to Irene. She sighed, knowing that neither him or Mickey were going to explain it.

"There's five rounds, each one is different." Irene began to lay out the rules to Carl. He just seemed confused, the game too complicated for him to follow along with.

"Oh." He awkwardly let out.

Irene saw that he was disappointed. "Do you wanna just be on my team?" She offered, smiling at him. "you can help me for sure, I'm not doing too well." She waved for him to come over.

Carl nodded excitedly, a wide smile following. Irene moved to make room for him to come sit close to her as he eagerly waited.

Reed and Mickey gave Irene a look of disappointment, not upset but not surprised that she couldn't just say no. She shot back a short look, not so subtlety saying get over it.

—

After their game of push, Irene took Carl on a walk, leaving them to clean up. Even with the added help from the younger grimes boy, she had lost.

For some reason Reed always seemed to find a way to beat her in games, it irked Irene to an unbelievable extent.

On her way out she made her reoccurring remark of "winners pick up."

Reed sighed, trying to find the card box, the deck in his hands. Mickey handed it to him, stopping his hand halfway—causing Reed to confusingly look at his cousin.

Mickey's gaze was completely still for a moment, not moving from Reed. "She's gonna come back." He handed him the box, his eyes certain. Reed gulped, the dryness in his throat now evident.

His mother being out there had made every moment bittersweet, he didn't know if these would be the last hours leading up to the news of her death. He was already grieving the idea of it all. Reed tried to convince himself that it would help him handle it better if it were to come to fruition, but it only made the gravity of that loss seem larger.

Mickey seemed to know that Reed understood what he said, regardless of Reed's silence. The two had finished, there wasn't any need to say anymore about Diane. They both knew what was to come was already set in motion; out of their control.

They both turned to leave in separate directions, But Mickey halted, turning back towards Reed. "Hey, what was the other night about?" His voice almost sounded baffled, his uncertainty vocal.

"Hm?" He stopped, placing the box of cards in his pocket.

"With Irene, she came into the tent?" Mickey further questioned, Reed not fully understanding why he had come off so confused when the question was asked.

He shrugged, letting his shoulders drop. "Just nerves."

Mickey just nodded, not seeming completely satisfied. "I've been wondering if she would come in." He scratched the back of his head, exhaling at the stiffness of his back due to sitting for so long. "I'm surprised it took her so long. With her being up every night I figured she would've said something sooner"

Every night?

"What?"

—

The trees are so tall, so full... that's all Irene could think at the sight of them. She was inexperienced with these types of trees, more familiar with the simplicity of a palm. There wasn't much to a palm tree, in a way, what you see is what you get.

While the circumstances of life as of recently were morbid, she hadn't ever been camping before. As stupid as it sounded, it was the only way to look at it for Irene. Florida summers were spent at the pool, not in the woods. Her first camping trip being the result of a worldwide pandemic wasn't apart of the previous expectations she held.

"Irene?" Carl tore into the silence, seeing as their walk had been strangely quiet. Not sure as to why, but bored with it nonetheless.

"What did you do before this?" Irene misunderstood for a second, but then realized he meant before this. Before the outbreak, before people were dropping like flies, before death was as normal as life.

"Nothing special, I work at a Macy's." She almost laughed, hearing herself speak about such a mundane job. Everything was so terribly different now. Carl only noticed that she said "work" instead of "worked."

"Weren't you in college?" He continued, trying to spend their time talking instead of indulging in the dry silence.

"Nope." She shook her head.

"Why not?" She just raised her shoulders in response. Carl didn't know what to ask next.

Irene found herself stepping on some twigs, the snaps causing Carl to look over at her beat up converse.

"I was in a band." She stated, seeing him look to her with shock ridden all over his face.

"A band?" He exclaimed, surprised at the answer. His attention now fully on her, it had dwindled after the lack luster answer beforehand.

"Mhm, the guitarist." Irene nodded, telling him about her last gig, recalling it as if it was years ago—not three months.

She wished she could go back, even to just watch a day before this all happened. See Reed without cuts on his face, go to work without worrying about opening a door to see a walking corpse, to be able to sleep at night.

It was a stupid wish; a ridiculous thing to dwell on, there was no use. That life was long gone and over, even if somehow this all got fixed. How would it ever be normal again? She didn't think she would ever be able to fully let go of that fear. Until she died, she was going to be scared, and she despised it.

—

"Can you hand me that?" Dale gestured to one of his tools, Mickey picked up the rusty piece of equipment, placing it in Dale's hand; almost missing it, his gaze averted to Amy's pacing across from them.

"Amy are you okay?" Mickey called over, feeling uneasy just looking at the frantic girl.

"It's late they should've been back by now." She urged. Reed locked eyes with Mickey as she spoke. Diane...

"Worrying won't make it better." Dale tried to comfort her with rationality. How could anyone be thinking rationally? Mickey thought.

A familiar static crackled, all that were close whipping their head around at the sound.

"Hello, base camp!"
"Can anybody out there hear me?"
"Base camp, this is T-dog."
"Anybody hear me?"

Dale hurriedly got to the radio once again. "Hello? Hello?" Fuzziness fulfilled the silence "Reception's bad on this end. Repeat repeat."
Irene stepped closer, trying to hear something Dale might miss.

"Shane, is that you?" The voice spoke.

"Who is it?" Irene asked, the voice too muffled to know anything besides that it was a man speaking.

"We're in some deep shit."
"We're trapped in the department store."

"He say they're trapped?" Shane questioned, a shared query by all who were listening. Trapped?Irene hesitated to look over at Reed or Mickey, knowing they probably heard it too.

"There are geeks all over the place—hundreds of 'em. We're surrounded."

"T-dog, repeat that last. Repeat." Dale tried to continue the conversation, that attempt quickly being shut down by the return of pure static.

"He said the department store."

"I heard it too..." Irene regrettably agreed with Lori, knowing what that meant for Diane. What that would mean for Reed and Mickey.

"Shane?" She knew what Lori was asking for, she beat Irene to asking it.

"No way." Shane started shaking his head, knowing where this was heading. "We do not go after them." Stern in his statement, eyes skipping past the people whose family was about to be left behind. "We do not risk the rest of the group. Y'all know that."

"So we're just gonna leave her there?" Amy spat back, taken by disbelief.

Mickey saw Reed's face, then looking to Irene who had the identical expression. "My Aunt is out there right now." He stepped up to Shane.

"Look Amy, Mickey, I know that this is not easy-"

"They volunteered to go." She shouted at the supposed "leader" who was letting their people die. "—to help the rest of us."

"I know, and they both knew the risks, right? See, if they're  trapped, they're gone." Shane seemed to have softened in the slightest, his voice losing a fragment of arrogance. "So we just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do." But only a fragment.

Amy's face was blank, blinking a few times—eyes staying on Shane. "She's my sister, you son of a bitch." She stormed off, everyone watching her go. Lori ran after her, seeing if she was okay.

Both Mickey and Reed gave Shane a glare— they knew he was right, but Diane being left behind wasn't a reality they were ready to face.

// C'S NOTES
OHMYGOD I AM PRETTY MUCH HALF ASLEEP SOMEONE SAVE ME!!! I HAD TO GRIND TO GET THIS FINISHED. I'm so exhausted, enjoy</3 I adore Carl so he is in this a lot lolz, as the plot progresses the adults will have MUCH more scenes!!

ALSO!!! I now have a tiktok where I edit my fics (this one most!!) it's @dem0lvrz !!!! THERE ARE SPOILERS ON THERE THOUGH!!! Fair warning !!

Once again, I am half asleep so there are probably loads of errors... #sorry

Please leave thoughts, opinions, anything really in the comments. I'd love 2 talk!! Thank you for reading and supporting, this is helping my mental health immensely!!<3