THERE'S no other smell like the rotting of flesh. Decay of skin and bone.
There's no other taste like blood. Metallic and bitter. It tastes different when it's warm and fresh. There's no other feeling like starvation. A hollow ache in your abdomen, it ripples up into your sternum. Somehow reaches your throat.
There's no other fate than death. I haven't experienced it yet, but every day I get closer. I don't know if that eases or scares me. Survival has tiptoed the line of dread and gratification.
My lungs are becoming weary each day, which one is the truth?

IT was muggy, wet, sticky. The air thick with heat and moisture. It felt like my skin was getting dirtier by simply sitting in the atmosphere. The backside of my tent was cool on my exposed shoulder blades. The breeze easily blowing through my tank top, straight to the skin. My arms wrapped around my legs—knees hiked up to my chest. It was quiet, most asleep if not halfway there. Tents zipped, eyes closed, breathing heavy but hushed. It was the only time I was alone, while simultaneously surrounded by sleeping bodies.

"Hey." I knew the voice, hers was one that made my shoulders drop and heart rate slow. I nodded in response, eyes flickering to and from her face. My gaze settling back onto the woods in front of me. Zoning out with tall trees and thick brush as my neighbor.

"Honey what are you doing awake?" Diane questioned, voice gentle and steady. It was dark out, only partial moonlight came through the trees. You could still see her tired eyes surrounded by dark circles, despite the dimness. She must've rolled over and seen me missing, she usually slept through the night. Diane walked around me to my left, planting herself next to me. Her body heat radiated on my side, she is always so warm.

"Can't sleep." Sighing, I diverted my hazing eyes from the bark in front of me to hers instead. She offered a small smile, her eyes squinting in empathy. She understood why I wouldn't be able to, there are more reasons to be up than to sleep. Every time I laid down to rest I became more awake than before. Lately I've been staying awake until my body shuts down forcefully, till the sleep deprivation forces my mind to abide by my body's needs.

"I'm sorry Irene... do you want me to stay up with you?" Without hesitation my head shook, answering simply. I wouldn't have someone else suffer the consequences of my reluctance to help myself.

"No, you sleep. It's fine, I'll be back in soon." I reassured her, trying to keep my voice steady and as low as possible. With Reed and Mickey in the tent across from us—it's fabric only muffling so much. The last thing I wanted was for Reed to know I've been up all night.

"Don't stay out too late okay?" She asked while putting her hand on my shoulder. Her hand spread a comforting heat on my bare, chilled skin. The breeze moved the leaves from the trees above us for a moment, causing more moonlight to seep in. Standing up, Diane could see the exhausted—worn down and out look in my eyes.

"I won't." Diane wiped her pants off, walking back to the entrance of our tent. She gave me one last glance before unzipping the front and stepping away behind me into its opening.

Silence fell around me again, no accompanying breath beside me this time. Just silence. Sometimes I'd hear the wind, or the leaves above me, but that was the extent of the audio around me. The group I landed in was a blessing, a fluke, a miracle. Not everyone made it, I was lucky to be around people who didn't only put themselves first. While my family by blood was gone, I had Reed, Diane and Mickey. I wasn't stranded.

That didn't change the fact that at night when it's just me and the pitch black tree-line, I felt happiest. If you could consider this happiness, more so... less sorrowful.
when it's just me beside the moonlit woods, when the silence swallows everything behind me and my ears go fuzzy... I feel less sorrowful.

Minutes went by, my eyes growing heavier and heavier. My body fell limp, legs sliding from my arm's hold, my chest slowly falling and rising. I must've been snoring because I jarred myself awake. My body twitching from the scare. I was disoriented enough to sleep, thoughts quieter, the numbness a relief. I found myself mindlessly opening my tent and stepping back inside. I let go, my blurry eyes closing in finality.

//C'S NOTES
Hopefully updating soon!!:3