Chapter twenty two; A lack of control

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Olivia's eyes were almost closing themselves as they breached the early morning sun. She, Harry and Ron were on their way back to the tent where Olivia had left Hermione at some point in the morning. Between Ron and Harry, she had been told enough to compensate what was going on, although her tired mind created a harsh block that stopped most information from passing through.

All she really got from their long explanation was something about a Patronus, Harry getting into the lake and almost strangled by the locket, the Sword of Gryffindor and Ron destroying the locket of Salazar Slytherin.

It was either all completely mad but true, or Olivia was exceptionally delusional.

Harry called out for Hermione for the second time as they reached the tent and it wasn't long before she emerged looking worried, "Is everything alright?"

"It's fine," Harry nodded, "Yeah, it's actually more than fine." He told her as she walked to them.

Olivia walked over to a nearby tree and collapsed down on to the ground in a tired state, watching as Hermione stood wordlessly at the top of the small hill.

At the bottom Ron stood with a bright, beaming smile on his face. His bag slung over his shoulder and the Sword of Gryffindor in his hand. His smile widened further when he saw Hermione and he stepped forwards again, "Hey."

While the two boys stood smiling, Olivia watched with amusement as Hermione fumed. She stormed down the hill, glaring at Ron and when she reached him pulled his bag off his shoulder, "You," she pushed him backwards, "complete," she picked up a pile of leaves and threw them at him, "arse, Ronald Weasley." Hermione lunged for his bag and hit him in the leg with it, all the while Olivia sat laughing tiredly, "You show up after weeks, and all you say is 'Hey'?"

Ron looked astonished and completely baffled at the same time as he stared at Hermione. The girl turned on her heel to face Harry, with the same fuming expression and marched over to him, "Where's my wand Harry?" Harry backed away quickly, "where's my wand?"

"I don't know." He said quickly, ducking away.

"Harry Potter you give me my wand!" Hermione yelled, backing him into a tree.

"I don't have it!"

"How come he's got your wand?"

Twiddling the wood in her fingers, Olivia prepared to tell Hermione that she had her wand, but she turned on her heel to Ron, "Nevermind why he's got my wand." Olivia pressed her lips together in a thin line as Hermione re-approached Ron, "What is that?" Ron held up the broken Horcrux for visual confirmation, looking more than proud of himself.

"It's the Horcrux." Olivia called over.

"You destroyed it?" Hermione said uncertainly before spying the sword, "and how is it that you just happen to have the Sword of Gryffindor?"

Harry stepped forwards to Ron's aid, "It's a long story."

"It is," Olivia supported, "took them ages to explain it to me."

Hermione looked from Harry to Olivia and then back to Ron before shaking her head, "Don't think this changes anything."

"Now hang on a minute," Olivia said out loud as Hermione head back in the direction of the tent, "he just destroyed a pissing Horcrux! You can't tell me that he's not earned the tinsiest bit of redemption in your eyes?"

"Why would it change anything?" Ron exasperated in a baffled tone, "look, I wanted to come back as soon as I left. I just didn't know how to find you."

"Yeah, how did you find us?" Harry asked curiously.

Olivia, too curious, watched Ron as he pulled the Deluminator out from inside his jacket, "With this. It doesn't just turn off lights. I don't know how it works, but Christmas morning I was sleeping in this little pub, keeping away from some snatchers, and I heard it."

"It?" Olivia echoed.

"A voice," Ron told them, looking to Hermione, "Your voice Hermione, coming out of it."

Olivia could've sworn her black heart was beating rapidly with excitement. The same excitement she felt when her and Draco shared their first kiss, when they got together, whenever she saw him. Her eyes watered and with adoration filling her voice and body she cooed in his way. She knew this was finally it. Not only was Ron, after all these years admitting his love for Hermione, but he was fulfilling that promise he made to Olivia in a time of need.

"And what exactly did I say, may I ask?" Hermione asked.

"My name." Ron said simply, his expression was one of adoration and it made Olivia's heart almost burst, "just my name, like a whisper .. so I took it, clicked it and this tiny ball of light appeared and I knew .. sure enough. It floated towards me — the ball of light — and when right to my chest, straight through me, right here," He told them, pointing to his heart, "and I knew it was going to take me where I needed to go, so I disapparated. I came to this hillside, it was dark, I had no idea where I was. I just hoped that one of you would show yourself," Finally he sighed in relief and looked to Harry, "and you did."

Olivia pushed herself up from the floor with water threatening to spill over her eyes. She looked to Hermione first and saw how indecisive she looked. It was a mix between embracing Ron or walking away and when she showed no sign of neither Olivia spoke up, "If she's not going to hug you Ron I will." She told him, looking in his direction next.

Ron nodded at her as she walked over, forcing the tears back, and opened his arms for her thin body. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and buried her head into the crook of his neck, "Thank you." She told him faintly.

"What for?"

"For fulfilling your promise," she sniffed, "and for giving me hope that even in the middle of a war there's still a chance left for some of us."

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Olivia nearly fell out of her bed when she watched the flame Hermione had created enlarge to a shoot of fire and almost burn off her face.

Harry had been testing a wand as it seemed, Olivia was listening in on their conversation, that Ron had nicked from a snatcher. She was sat in the bed above them and when Harry cast the enlargement charm on the small flame she nearly got half of her hair singed off.

Out of pure shock she screeched and threw herself for cover at the other side of the bed. At the force she flung herself with, she overshot the dive and rolled right off the other side and on to bed below her. She landed with a groan as Harry quickly cast the reduction charm in a frenzied panic.

Harry's panicked spell and Olivia's shriek and groan, Hermione called to them from outside, "What's going on in there?!"

Both boys replied at the same time with nothing and stood up quickly, turning to help Olivia out of where she was wedged between the side of the tent and the bed. Hermione came inside while they pulled Olivia to her feet, the black haired girl rubbing the side of her head with a groan.

"We need to talk." Hermione stated to them.

"Yeah, I know," Olivia replied irritably while still rubbing her forehead, "we should consider putting railings on that bed to stop me from falling out again."

Ron only rubbed the reddening area on her forehead while Hermione stepped through them, "I want to go see Xenophilius Lovegood."

Olivia narrowed her eyes, "Are you fucking mental?"

Hermione gave her a stern glare before turning to Harry, "See this? It's a letter Dumbledore wrote to Grindelwald, look at the signature."

"You want to risk our arses because of a damn signature?" Olivia asked disbelievingly. Hermione took the book out of Harry's hand and shoved it in the direction of Olivia to prove a point. Olivia took the book from Hermione and found the symbol that she had drawn on her wrist, the one that was engraved into the front page of Hermione's copy of 'The Tales of Beetle the Bard'. Olivia looked from the symbol to Hermione numerous times.

"I think she's on the right path." Harry came to say, "Seeing Xenophilius is the only thing we've got at the minute."

Olivia rounded on Harry quickly and suddenly, "And what if it gets us killed?"

"It's a risk we have to take."

"Oh I've heard that one before, twenty minutes before I got bitten by a fucking snake trying to protect you!"

Ron, who was adamant on not getting involved, took a small step backwards out of caution.

Harry, on the other hand, was beyond confused with the way Olivia acting. She had been fine not five minutes ago and the Horcurx had been destroyed. She wasn't under its influence anymore. There was no excuse for her to be acting the way she has been since it retrieval.

Hermione clocked Olivia's left hand twitching out of the corner of her eye as the girl held the book. In a casual way, she extended her own arm in a silent gesture to ask for the book back. While Olivia looked at Hermione's own extended hand she did pass the book back to her, giving Hermione plenty of an opportunity to snatch up Olivia's left wrist and push her sleeve up. If she was thinking correctly, this would be the source of the problem.

Olivia struggled while Hermione pushed her sleeve up to inspect her arm. Both girls put up a fight, but in the end Hermione got Olivia's sleeve up for them to see the damage. The first thing Hermione noticed was how alike it was when Olivia picked up the Opal cursed necklace last Christmas. Her scar itself, where Voldemort had first attempted to recruit her, was inflamed. The distinctive swirls of red proved its unsettlement and the area surrounding was no better either. The veins hidden under the pale skin were brimming a purple/blackish colour, something Ron recognised happening just after the curse had been inflicted.

Olivia's left forearm, the heart of the curse infiltrating through her veins, looked far from healthy.

"Olivia," Hermione managed to force out, "Wh-what's happening, why didn't you say something to us?"

"And have you think I dying?" She scoffed, "Why would I do that? I'd only end up becoming an inconvenience to Saint Potter over there."

When she realised she'd quoted Draco she couldn't help the smile that broke out on to her face.

"Why would you be an inconvenience to me?" Harry asked defensively, narrowing his eyes in Olivia's direction.

"Why was Ron an inconvenience to you when he was Splinched?" Olivia fired.

Ron still opted on keeping his mouth shut tight during what started out as Hermione wanted to visit a mans home.

Bewildered, Harry fought to argue his case, "Ron wasn't an inconvenience to me, he—"

"Oh wasn't he?" Olivia interrupted quickly. A sort of sadistic smile played on her lips as she fumed openly, "You know I'm right Harry. You know yourself that you considered him one when he couldn't apparate."

"Olivia—" Hermione tried to intervene.

"No Hermione, it's alright." Harry said, holding his arm up to silence her, "She's just telling us what's truly on her mind. It's not her speaking, is it Olivia? This isn't you. It's the curse, you know? The darker side of her mind that forced her to fire the Killing Curse at that Death Eater at Bill and Fleur's wedding. That's who's speaking isn't it?"

Olivia's face twitched in rage as her hands shook by her sides, "I have no idea what your talking about."

"Yes you do." Harry nodded, "What's happening right now, it's all because of that bracelet innit? This wouldn't be happening if you had that bracelet on, we wouldn't be walking on eggshells around you if you were wearing your bracelet!"

With narrowed eyes and a furious expression on her face, Olivia stepped towards Harry, "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me Harry, you haven't been lately either."

"You can't control yourself anymore Olivia."

"Yes I can—"

"—No you can't!" Harry shouted. Olivia was forced to take a step back as she grew furious with Harry. He was telling her how she should be handling herself when she knew fine well what to do. Olivia knew she needed her bracelet now more than ever to give her mind some peace, but she certainly didn't need Harry to rub it in her face that she couldn't control herself.

She had held so much of herself together for their sake. At times where she felt like bursting, she pulled herself back. When she felt she couldn't go any longer, she told herself she could. At times where she felt her control slipping through her fingers, she relaxed her mind and told herself she could do it.

But now, there was no space left for bringing it back. Olivia couldn't handle the pressure anymore. She was on the verge of a breakdown and she feared how it would end.

Having Harry snap at her, accusing her of not being able to control herself, caused something to blow inside of her.

It came. After all those months of bringing herself back, she couldn't hold it in no more. Her right arm went up in Harry's direction, her wand in her hand, and she screamed, "Shut up!"

Hermione and Ron's eyes widened watching the exchange. They couldn't bring themselves to intervene as Harry became on the receiving end of Olivia's wand. At such the temperamental state she was in, they were terrified which way it would end.

Hermione gulped hard, "Olivia—"

"Just shut up!" Olivia shouted over her. Tears had brimmed to her eyes as her hand trembled massively, "I'm sick of it, sick of you," She shouted at Harry, "telling me, rep-reminding me constantly. I know what I'm capable of Harry! I know I've done wrong. You think I wanted to kill that Death Eater? You think I wanted to throw that curse on Umbridge? I didn't!"

Harry swallowed deeply, bringing his hands to rise slowly in surrender. From next to her Ron stepped forwards fractionally and very gently placed his hand on her shoulder, "Lower your wand Liv and we can talk about this."

"Don't touch me Ron, I don't want to hurt you." She told him, barely sparing him a glance as she held Harry's gaze.

"It's alright Ron," Harry nodded, "she's fine, she can pull herself back. Can't you Liv?"

Olivia's face twisted in frustration and anger. Her entire body, from top to bottom, was on fire. She shook with how hard she was trying to control herself, trying to fight off the thoughts in her mind. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't do it.

As the tears finally pushed over her eyes Harry decided to keep going.

"Come on Liv, you've done this before right?" He asked, his tone somewhat mocking her, "You can pull yourself back or you can kill me? Which is it? I'm sure you'd be doing him a favour by killing me, but then he'd probably kill you—"

"—I can't." She cried.

"You can." Harry nodded firmly, "Its simple really innit? You either lower your wand or you fire, which will it be?"

Everything Olivia had ever been taught about practicing control was falling from her in a similar fashion to her tears. She was practically a walking time bomb as of that moment, ready to explode at any moment.

Everything in her head was telling her to give in, surrender herself to the darkness, while her heart told her to hold on just that little bit more. But even if she did go with her heart, even if she did pull herself back, how long would it be before something of a similar fashion happened again?

Olivia couldn't do it to them anymore. She couldn't subject them to anymore danger and that's what drove her to grab her bag and turn around. It drove her to run out of their tent and down towards the lake, to the very edge of the protection charm that created a barrier around them.

She was going to do it, she was going to leave them until she could handle herself again.

But only seconds before she could take that last step, Harry shouted to her again, "Is that it then? Your just going to leave us?" Olivia's body froze as he continued, "You know when I saw someone fight with themselves last about which path to take they made the wrong choice. They were being a coward.

"I see why you two fit so well now, you and Draco, your both cowards."

Olivia turned sharply on her heel to face Harry and with it extended her wand towards him again. She watched with such fury as a spell fired from the tip of her wand and aimed itself at Harry. It flew with such speed that she barely had time to react, none of them barely had time to react. But at the very last second, Hermione jumped in and to Harry's aid with a barrier that repelled her spell.

Only when it repelled and Olivia saw the destruction it made of the tree did she realise if her spell had hit Harry, it would've killed him.

She had been so overcome with his words and her own fury that she snapped, and had Hermione not intervened it would've all been over. Just like that.

With her mouth agape, eyes wide and chest heaving, Olivia shook her head to herself in disbelief. A small apology fumbled passed her lips before she turned away from them for the last time and stepped over the protection charms before disapparating, determined to put things right.

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