In between the straw and hay sat a young man, with an apple in his hand leaning against the sprawled out horse looking attentively over his shoulder with pointed ears. She nudged his shoulder roughly, almost toppling the boy over.

He glanced at the big brown eyes of his mare, barely getting it over his heart to say the words. "I'm not sharing, Blaze."

Gilan liked the silence of the stables at night. It felt like the night after the first time he had gone on a mission. He had been scared, terrified even. When Halt was around he joked about the events, about the corpses they saw, earning a frown and a huff from the Grey Ranger. However when the sun went down and he had to lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. The horrors flashed before his eyes and he could not get them to stop. Halt was not the kind of mentor who would let him crawl into bed with him, and Gilan had no desire to do so because he would have felt like a child when he did. So, he did the only thing he could think of. He went to the stables and laid down Blaze whose warmth and steady breathing eventually lulled him to sleep. The scent of horses and wood was forever locked in his mind and he could only associate it with that moment after that.

The sound of clacking broke his comfortable bubble rudely. In front of the stable a red head appeared, glancing over the side of Blaze's stable door.

"What in the name of the gods are you doing down there?" Enox questioned, her gaze flickering between him, Blaze and the various heaps of muck still decorating the box.

The tall knight let out a long sigh. "What do you need from me?"

She eyed the boy and gave a satisfied nod. "There's something that has to be taken care of in the forest."

"Why is that my problem?" Gilan twirled his apple in his hands, staring at the wall straight ahead.

"Because you are going to be my husband. My problems are your problems and at this moment, I have a problem." She folded her hands in front of her deep green dress. The long sleeves flapped around loudly as they hit the wood. It could just as easily have been a fork dragging across stones, the sound had the same agonizing effect.

"Tell me, what is it. I'll decide if it's worth my time." He raised an eyebrow and focussed his eyes on her for the first time. They were hollow and icy, which put Enox at ease. It reminded her a bit of her own country.

"A few of our men got lost in the woods, they were some of our best and we would like them back," she paused and crossed his look, to make sure he was listening. When she saw he had stopped twirling the apple around and had glanced in her direction, she continued: "We know they were visiting their church somewhere in the forest, they wanted to pray for a bit. It's an old Scotii temple."

"What does it look like?" Without wanting it he had asked it, as if it was second nature. Years of briefings and missions had created a natural response to mysteries, like these.

"Oh," the Scotii girl looked at her nails, "just your standard old overgrown building. The interior might be odd to you, but other than that it should be easy to find."

"Thanks for that helpful description," he shot her an annoyed look, while dusting the straw off his dark brown trousers. Gilan waved the stableboy over and told him that he'd be out riding. He slipped him some coins to make sure he stayed silent.

"Was that necessary?" Enox tilted her head slightly.

"I assume," he turned to her, while pulling his Ranger cloak from somewhere in the back of the stable, "that you would not like this to become a large search party?"

"That would be preferable."

The knight's brows shot up slightly. He nodded, while pressing his lips together. The saddling took him a few minutes. His fiancee had watched in the beginning, but had excused herself soon after. The guards at the draw bridge didn't even look up when they recognized the cape and horse galloping off into the woods.

A dark mist had spread throughout the forest, swarming like a thick curtain around the lone Ranger as he urged Blaze on a little more. The cold nipped at his nose and he wrung his hands together, silently cursing his father, Picta and nature itself. He knew these woods like the back of his hands, he had escaped to them more than once as a little boy, but now it seemed like a stranger to him.

The church that Enox had mentioned was hooded in white clouds. Gilan couldn't see more than a meter in front of him. Though he did hear a few cracks of twigs in front of the old building. He slowly slid out of his saddle and got out his bow. In one smooth movement he had placed an arrow on it and he kept it loosely against the string as he snuck from shadow to shadow, inching closer to the place he'd last heard commotion. The tall man loosened his grip on his weapon when he saw a cloaked figure lying on the damp forest grounds. He kneeled by the blonde man and frowned. The face seemed slightly familiar to him, the broken nose especially and the hair... He hadn't heard a fight, so seeing a corpse was odd. There was no warmth left in the body, meaning he had to have been dead for at least a day.

"Crowley throws a mean shot." A female voice with a northern accent noted behind him.

With a terrifying speed, he jumped to his feet, drawn sax already in front of the girl's throat.

When he saw it was her he raised an eyebrow. "Crowley was here? And did-" he pointed to the lifeless body- "...this?"

"Well," she pushed the knife away from her with an astonishing calmth," they attacked us first, so it was justified. He was an arsehole anyways."

His head snapped up. "You knew this man?"

She nodded, running her fingers through her loose hair, which was quite unusual for her. Normally she always had it our of her face, only when she went to sleep she let it down, Gilan mentally noted.

"He was quite the bully at the Battleschool, kept harassing poor first-years."

That's when something clicked inside the brown-haired boy's mind. A few years ago he had received a letter from Crowley with drawn descriptions of three boys, though he couldn't recall their names. They had been banished from the fief and expelled from the Battleschool for harassing cadets, Horace in particular.

"Someone finally struck back?" he looked over to her with a playful grin, even though his head was full of worries.

It made her heart ache without an end. She hadn't realized how much she had missed just spending time with him. Seeing those green eyes with their boyish twinkle in them that was reserved just for mischief with her.

His gaze fell on her bad arm, which she did not use on purpose. He leaned on his large bow with a frown. Of course his mind raced with thoughts when seeing it, but he felt none of the worry immediately. It had all been locked away behind walls and walls of repression. 

"He did that to you?"

Shame crept up in her chest. Of course she should have seen it, standing with her back to an unguarded opening was quite frankly stupidity. She couldn't like into his eyes, even though they were trying find hers. "They ambushed us, I know I should have-"

"I don't care what you did, love," he gestured that she could relax," I just want to know if he is the one who shot you."

It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but it did. 

"He was."

For a moment Gilan closed his eyes and cursed to himself. This was going to be one hell of a mess, he knew it would be. Enox had send him to retrieve one of her men, he had been murdered by Crowley however. No one could be allowed to know that the Corp's commandant had killed a member of the Scotii court, they would consider it a breach of the contract.

She saw his countenance grow darker and decided that maybe it was time for a change of topic. "I'm sorry I wasn't at the tournament, I was a bit preoccupied."

The tall knight didn't reply, his attention was solely divided to the unmoving corpse on the floor. She didn't know wether to be offended or not that a dead boy was more interesting than she herself.

"Did I miss anything?" With her one good arm she reached out and nudged his shoulder.

"Almost as big a mess as this is." He grimaced and suddenly eyed her suspiciously.

She raised her brows with sharp ferocity. "What? You don't think I organised this, do you?"

"You have an underground network that appears to pop up anytime we were on a mission anywhere. Somehow you always made friends with the criminals and lowlifes."

"I did not make friends. I made contacts to exert information from, that's a whole different story." Her blood boiled from his reckless accusations, she had to bite her tongue to keep calm. For years he had praised and accepted her background and additional skills, but now that he was going to be married and a part of Picta he was truly turning into a different person. All warm feelings she'd had when first seeing him were frozen like ice.

Those lovey green eyes were suddenly focussed on her with a stern gaze. His jaw was clenched, his curls framed his sharp cheekbones that seemed as forged from steel.

She took a step forward, pushing through the thick tense air. "Why are you holding that against me now? What did she say?"

The words flashed through Gilan's mind, but he did not feel as if he could say them. That tugged at his heart strings too much in that moment.

He looked down at the girl. "I don't really listen to what she says."

"That doesn't answer my first question." The female Ranger held firm, she wasn't about to turn to pudding over one small sentence.

Gilan sighed and ran a hand over his beard, pain echoed through his demeanour. The corners of his mouth turned down, his shoulders slumped and his cheeks froze. "I can't let everything slide anymore, okay? I'm sorry, I don't want to be that person who gets off on following the rules. If that contract is breached, then Araluen and Picta will be at war. And I know that we would win."

She felt for him, she really did. An impossible weight had been placed on his shoulders. No one else would have borne it so well as he, but after all he was still only twenty five years old. Her heart broke a little when he said 'we'. She knew he did not mean Araluen.

"Oh calm your tits," she joked with a crooked smile, "Duncan is a stubborn man, he'd refuse to give any form of land to the Scotii. Besides, one Ranger, one fief, right?"

That statement earned her a confused eyebrow raise from the brown-haired young man. She continued, while poking his side cheekily. "If all fifty fiefs were at danger he would be allowed to call all fifty Rangers, and the additional apprentices to war. I don't think any country in the world can measure up to such a force." 

"You really think you could win from such a force as Picta?" Gilan squeezed her side and she squirmed away quickly. 

"I know I could win from you," which was the worst thing to say for her, because immediately a flame sparked in his eyes. He stalked closer to her until their chests touched. One hand cupped her cheek while the other stroked the curve of her waist. 

She leaned into his touch for just a moment. It would not hurt anyone if she engulfed herself in his warmth for just a second more. He leaned down, brushing his lips over hers. "are you sure?" 

His gaze found hers, being so close to him made her stomach turn in all the right ways

A devilish grin spread on his face before he closed the little distance in between them. He had missed the way she tasted, how she smelled like her. The past few weeks he had put all the energy he had left into distancing himself from her, everything to win the tournament. So everything wouldn't get even more difficult. But this was all he wanted, he finally felt that spark of happiness and home again. 

He knew it couldn't last long, they both did. Still, she pulled him closer, until all of him pressed against her. A small groan escaped from her throat and in that moment he would have had her like she did that night in Picta. No amount of proximity would ever be enough, when he knew that she would be miles away in just a few weeks. He would leave for the North and she would stay her, continue doing missions for Crowley, maybe even find a new love at some point. 

Reality came crashing over the tall knight like a cold, icy wave. He pulled away, but kept her close for just a moment longer. "This really has to be the last time..." Gilan murmured, leaning his forehead against hers. 

Tears sprung in her tortured eyes, a sight he had difficulty stomaching. He had seen horrors, torn  corpses and flesh, but he had to turn his head away from this. He knew he could never leave her if he did watch. She squeezed his hand and sniffled. "I always thought we would have forever to say goodbye," 

A/N:

I AM SO SORRY GUYS!!!!! It's been a while, I know. Uni is quite different from high school, I have zero free time or loads of it. I've made some time free the next two weeks so I can focus on writing again!! I hate not being able to write:( Also, I'm sorry for the people who commented that they just wanted Y/N and Gilan to be happy together. That's uh, going to take a while (though I will probably include flashbacks of them in Picta whenever it gets too depressing. Or I cave and do let them meet hahaha. 

Question for today: Worst heartbreak you ever had? 

It felt fitting for this chapter. And of course I'll answer it as well: it was when I was a young teen, I don't quite remember the age I was at, but I was in love with a guy who had a girlfriend. Somehow that was more painful than when I eventually got rejected by that guy later on. It did give me so many creative ways to express pain though, so thanks :D When anything goes wrong in my life I just think: at least I have something to write about. 

Okay see you next week!!  

XXX Maddie