3rd Person's POV

"What now? I mean we can't just kick down the front door."

Buffy nods at Giles, "Yes, that would be wrong."

She's already bracing to kick it as she speaks. Just as she's about to kick it in, it's opened by a sweet old lady.

"Hello dear, I thought I heard... are you selling something? Because I'd love to help out but you know I'm on a fixed income."

Buffy frowns, "I'm looking for Miss French."

"I'm Miss French."

Buffy shakes her head, "Natalie French, the substitute biology teacher."

"Goodness, that's me. I taught for over thirty years, then I retired in nineteen seventy-two..."

Buffy turns to Willow and Laney.

"She used Miss French's records to get in the school-- bite me, she could be anywhere."

"No, I'm right here, dear."

"What do you do now?" Willow says as they start to walk away from the real Miss French's house.

"Abject prayer and supplication spring to mind." Giles replies.

"We saw her walking past this park. Carrying grocery bags. She lives in this neighborhood."

They look up and down the street.

Willow, pretty upset, heads off in the direction of the house next to the Real Miss French's.

"I'm gonna start banging on doors."

Buffy grabs her arm stopping her, "We don't have time for that."

"We have to do something!" Tears start to form in her eyes.

"We will."

"Hey Buff... remember Claw..."

Buffy glances at Laney then smiles widely, "Laney you're a genius!"

Xander's hands are held fast in leather or rope shackles. The She-Mantis stands nearby eyeing him.

Blayne sits a quietly, insanely, watching.

The She-Mantis gets closer to Xander making Blayne frown, "Oh yeah, here it comes..."

"What, what's happening?!" Xander starts to freak out.

"How do you like your eggs, bro, over easy or sunny side up?"

"Eggs? She's going to lay some...?"

Xander looks at the monster, it almost smiles.

Xander, still tethered, watches in horror as the She-Mantis lowers her ghastly face towards him. He struggles futilely. It's the grossest thing that has ever happened to him, until, through teeth dripping with unspeakable fluids, she says, "Kiss me."

Xander struggles to keep a grasp on his sanity as that horrible mouth moves closer and closer.

"Can I just say one thing?"

She seems to hesitate.

"HEELLLLPPPP!!"

Blayne looks away in his cage. As she engulfs Xander in her horrible body, the small floor window behind her is kicked in. Buffy drops in, equipment bag in hand and behind her is Laney.

"Let him go you bug ugly bitch."

Laney chuckles slightly looking over at Buffy, "I got to use bug ugly again."

The She-Mantis hisses then heads for Laney who catches a large spray can from Buffy. Together they raise the spray cans of bug killer spray.

Two clouds of insect spray hit her in the face. She howls, and retreats with alarming speed into the dark recesses of the cellar.

Giles and Willow drop in through the cellar window then run to Xander and free him. Blayne starts screaming from his cage.

"Help me! Help me!!"

Buffy frowns watching for the bug, "Get him out. The bug is mine."

She advances to the darkness. Moving very slowly, she pulls her machete from her bag and her tape recorder from her pocket with the other. She talks to the shadows.

"Remember Dr. Gregory-- you scarfed his head? He taught me if you do your homework you learn stuff.
Like what happens to your nervous system when you hear this."

Buffy punches play.

Giles voice on the recorder starts to play, "...extremely important to file not simply alphabetically by author..."

"Giles!"

"That's the wrong side!"

The She-Mantis comes screeching from the shadows and knocks the recorder out of Buffy's hand. The force sends it skittering across the floor and under an old refrigerator. Giles runs to the refrigerator, trying to retrieve it.

The She-Mantis swings again-- Buffy jumps-- the foreleg slicing, just missing Buffy's legs. Buffy raises the machete with both arms and swings it through the air. She cuts the Mantis. The Mantis howls with rage and pain.

Xander retrieves the bug spray Buffy dropped as Willow tries to open Blayne's cage. Xander comes into the dark and-- blasts the She-Mantis with the spray. She howls, turns on him.

"Xander, get out!"

The She-Mantis raises her foreleg and swipes it through the air trying to behead Xander but she just misses as he is tackled to the ground.

The She-Mantis seizes the moment of Buffy's distraction to slam Buffy to the ground with a foreleg, the machete skittering away. She raises her foreleg, intent on cutting Buffy's head off.

Giles retrieves the recorder, hits buttons. A high-pitched sound reverberates through the room: bat sonar. The She-Mantis screeches, howls and shakes her head-- the sonar is driving her bat-shit.

Buffy kicks and trips the mantis up. It falls to the ground as Buffy picks up the machete.

"Bat sonar makes your whole nervous system go to hell. You can go there with it."

She raises the machete high over her head and brings it down.

On the ground, Xander looks up to see Laney hovering over him. She had tackled him to the ground and saved his head. Literally.

"Thanks Lane..."

"No problem Alex..."

"Look I'm sorry. I should've listened to you-"

"It's cool-"

"No it's not Laney. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean what I said either. You know the things that were mentioned after that."

"I figured."

Xander looks into Laney's green eyes. They start to lean closer to each other until they hear footsteps coming closer.

"We should probably..."

"Good idea."

Laney stands up then holds her hand out to help Xander up. Xander frowns when he sees her arm wrapped in gauze.

"I don't remember seeing that. What happened?"

"Oh you know just your run of the mill vampire guy with a giant claw."

Xander nods and smiles. After a moment the two of them head back over to the gang.

"I'd say it's deceased."

Willow nods at Giles, "And dissected."

Xander looks at Buffy, "You alright?"

She nods.

"Just for the record, you were right, I was an idiot and God bless you."

She smiles, they share a moment.

Xander turns to Willow and Giles, "And thank you guys, too."

Willow nods, "I'm really glad you're okay. It's so unfair how she only went after virgins..."

Xander frowns, "What...?"

"I mean here you guys are, doing the right thing-- the smart thing-- when a lot of other boys your age--"

Blayne shakes his head in denial, "Big flag on that play, babe. I am no--"

Giles grimaces, "Cat's out of the bag, lads. It's part of the She-Mantis M.O."

Xander groans, "Isn't this the perfect ending to a wonderful day."

"My dad's a lawyer-- anybody repeats this to anybody, they're gonna find themselves facing a lawsuit."

Xander rolls his eyes, "Blayne-- shut up."

Willow smiles, "I don't think it's bad at all. I think it's really--"

Xander takes the machete from Buffy.

Willow takes a step back, "--sweet. But certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again--"

Xander moves past her and hacks at the egg sacks attached to the rafters, destroying them forever.