AS DISCUSSED, the kids were at Jax and Tara's the following weekend, and June decided to ask Amber if she wanted to have a cozy movie night at her house. And only a few hours later the two women sat cross-legged on June's couch with a glass of wine, separated only by a large box of pizza.

"I swear, this is the best pizza in town", Amber murmured with her mouth half full, not caring a bit about how she looked while eating. That was the beauty of their friendship; both women were comfortable around each other and could sit on the couch in sweatpants and oversized shirts with their hair in low, messy buns and forget all the manners they usually had to adhere to. "Next time we'll take the kids there!"

"But then we can't eat like this." Laughing softly, June wiped some pizza sauce from the corner of her mouth before brushing some flour from her fingers. "But we can do that, Callie loves pizza and Alanna is crazy about their lasagna."

"Oh my God, Alanna is just like me." Amber washed down the pizza with a sip of the red wine and wiped her fingers on a napkin, which she threw back into the half-empty pizza box. "Hey, Callie asked if she could stay over at Juice and my place. Ever since Juice showed her how to play video games, she's been totally attached to him."

"Yeah, I know", the slightly older one snorted, shaking her head in amusement. "Just yesterday she asked me if she could have a Playstation. You should've seen my face. That girl is three, not twelve."

With an apologetic, sweet smile in June's direction, Amber shrugged her shoulders. "Shit, sorry. I promise that next time I have to get groceries, I won't leave her alone with Juice."

"Nah, it's fine." June just waved it off before leaning forward to grab her glass from the round coffee table. "I'm glad I can count on your help. I want the girls to have a bond with all the guys, after all they're Happy's familyᅳ and my family, too."

"We really miss you at the club", Amber stated carefully, knowing that June didn't like to talk about this subject. The blonde tilted her head to the side, fumbling with her fingers as she studied her best friend. "Have you decided yet whether you want to answer your lawyer?"

"About the divorce?" June asked in return, her smile falling as the subject came up. "I don't know. Iᅳ I just don't know what the right thing is, you know?"

"It's a shitty situation", Amber huffed quietly, exhaling as she leaned back against the cushions of the couch, her head propped against her hand. "I mean, it's what Happy wanted, right? As long as you have his name, the whole breakup doesn't make any senseᅳ but you were the perfect couple."

"Apparently not, otherwise we wouldn't be almost divorced now", June murmured, the bitterness in her soft voice hard to miss. "I think he realized himself that it doesn't make sense as long as we're married, but he's just too stubborn to take the final step. I don't want to take him to court", she explained with a sigh, clearly overwhelmed by the whole situation. "But I need a clean break. What should I do, Amber?"

The blonde listened attentively, as she always did when June poured her heart out. "Well, what do you want? What do you really want, June?"

"Him." June's dry answer didn't really come as a surprise to Amber, she knew her best friend long enough to know that the former Teller woman was still heartbroken. "I always wanted him. But that's no longer an option."

"Says who?" Amber asked cautiously yet full of curiosity while she fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger.

"Iᅳ", June tried to think of a reasonable answer, but there was none. She threw her hands in the air in surrender before dropping her head into them with a sigh, her elbows resting on her knees. "Too much shit has happened, and I don't know if he'd even let me back in his lifeᅳ or if I'd even want that."

"Girl, he destroyed the divorce papers in front of you", Amber stated matter-of-factly, shaking her head with a snort as she reached for the ice cream bowl that was sitting between the two wine glasses. "The man has been walking around for a year with a face like he's about to kill someoneᅳ he regrets what he did. Shit, he needs youᅳ but his ego, or rather his worries, is just too big."

"Worried about what, Amber?!" June asked desperately, her head snapping up. "No Old Lady has been kidnapped, attacked, killed or used as leverage since that damn war with the Argent Devils started! Besides, we would've been much safer with him."

When a sad smile appeared on Amber's lips and the blonde lowered her head, June wanted to slap herself. She squinted her eyes shut as she cursed herself before scratching her eyebrow in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I know you and Juice lost your baby because of those assholes", June said carefully as she reached out to grab one of Amber's hands. "I just meant that they haven't consciously attacked an Old Lady yet."

"I know what you meant, June, don't worry", the blonde assured as she returned the soft squeeze of June's hand and looked at her best friend with a small smile, trying to swallow the pain of the miscarriage as always. "Listen, we all know that Happy loves you, that he will never have anyone else. And he loves his girls. Jesus, he adores you, all three of youᅳ but I just think he's scared, as strange as that sounds."

Amber's words didn't leave June unscathed, not even close. Her heart pounded against her chest, her throat was dry as the Sahara but her eyes were all the more moist. "I just want to turn back time and forget everything that happened in the last year."

"I'm sorry, June." Just as Amber was about to pull her friend into a comforting hug, June's phone rang. The blonde raised her eyebrow when she saw Maria's name light up on the screen. "Why is Happy's mom calling so late?"

June and Maria Lowman still got along great, the older woman almost like a second mother to June. To this day, she still lectured Happy every time about, what she calls it, his absolutely stupid mistake. Nevertheless, it was unusual for Maria to call so late, after all it was well after ten o'clock.

"I don't know." Confused herself, June reached for her phone to answer the call. "Maria, hey. Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, darling", she heard the lively, bubbly voice of the older woman on the other end of the line assure her. "Listen, I need some help tomorrow. I know this is spontaneous but I have an important appointment. Happy doesn't have time and neither does Isabel", she explained, choosing her words carefully.

June just frowned and shrugged slightly as Amber looked at her questioningly. "I think I should be able to manage that, the kids are at my brother's for the weekend anyway. What time do you need me to be there?"

Normally June had planned to get a few new things for the dance studio tomorrow, but if neither Happy nor his aunt had time to drive Maria to her appointment, she would make the trip herself. Family was more important after all, she could get the things she needed another day.

"You're an angel, June", Maria chirped, in good spirits as always. Even when she was feeling sick or down because of her MS, she never lost the joy in her voice and the smile on her face, which had been marked by life. Maria Lowman had never had it easy in life, but as strong of a woman she was, she had never given up. "Can you be there around 3 p.m.? Of course you can also spend the night here and don't have to head back to Charming the same day."

"Yeah, sure, that should work", June answered simply, reaching for her wine glass. "We'll see, it depends how late it is after your appointment, but thanks, Maria."

Since Bakersfield was still a three-hour drive, June would actually accept the offer if it was too late.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, sweetheart", Maria said with a hum before she hung up.

"What did she want?" Amber asked immediately while sipping her wine. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, apparently she needs someone to drive her tomorrow, but neither Happy nor Maria's sister have time", the former Teller explained, shrugging her shoulders before flashing her best friend a smile. "Okay, now we're finally going to talk about you and Juice. Do you already have an idea when you wanna get married?"

Amber's smile grew immediately and reached from ear to ear as she began to talk about the things Juice and her had already thought about. "Well, we definitely want to get married next year at the latest..."

June leaned back into the pillows, her head resting on the back of the couch, while she listened to her best friend with a smile on her lips, incredibly happy for the couple. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was Amber and Juice, the dream couple themselves.

ᅳ

JUNE'S EYEBROWS ROSE above the sunglasses that covered her eyes and protected them from the blinding sun when she saw Happy's bike in Maria's driveway. She hesitantly parked her SUV on the side of the road as a strange premonition bubbled up in the pit of her stomach.

Sighing, she turned off the engine, pulled the keys out of the lock and shoved her cell into her bag that was still on the passenger seat. Just as she was about to reach for it, she sucked in a sharp breath. Her hand flew to the left side of her chest and the Lowman woman squeezed her eyes shut while she took a few deep breaths, her lips slightly pursed each time she let out a breath.

With a soft groan, she leaned back into the seat until she had literally breathed the pain away. Sometimes she hated this stupid heart defect, especially because Callie also got it. But there was no time to get upset or worried about it right now.

June carefully slid her bag onto her shoulder before she slipped out of the car and locked it with a click of her car key. With slow steps she approached the house and sighed again when she saw Happy sitting on the small stairs that led to the door.

"What are you doin' here?", he asked first, having a hard time to hide the surprise but also the skepticism in his tone.

"Maria called me and asked if I could drive her to an appointment", June explained calmly, eyeing the man who looked up at her with his stoic facade. "Let me guess, she asked you too?"

"She did", Happy grumbled. Just like June, he quickly put two and two together. "It's another one of her tricks."

When she heard the quiet, stubborn grunt, followed by a roll of Happy's eyes, June couldn't help but laugh. "And this time we even fell for it. The first time, right?"

It took a moment for Happy's hard features to soften. After another moment he even let a smirk cross his face. "It seems she's thought her plan through this time."

"Maybe." After a moment's hesitation, June sat down next to him, her legs bent just like his, only she pulled her knees up to her chest. "Although I don't think she's behind all of this alone."

"What do you mean?" Happy frowned as he examined June extensively, not even try to be inconspicuous. It was no crime to check out his wife, right?

Her reddish hair looked a little lighter under the sun, her natural blonde shimmering through in some places. Her blue eyes were only accentuated with a little mascara and a light blush covered on her cheekbones.

His eyes wandered a little downwards, admiring her cleavage, which was accentuated by the black top with the V-neck, showing enough of her breasts to drive him crazy. The short, light blue denim shorts with fringes at the ends and the small gap between the waistband and the beginning of the top made him grumble quietly.

All he wanted to do was to throw one of his hoodies over her so that no one else would see her, in his eyes, perfect body. At least she was only wearing her white sneakers instead of high heels, which June also liked to wear sometimes.

"You're staring, Hap", June informed him dryly, but her lips curled into a smile when he just looked up at her with a huff. "To your question; I think Jax has something to do with it. Or did he really need you for this weekend? He told me that you'll hardly have any time for the kids because of it."

"Sneaky bastard", Happy muttered, shaking his head as he let his arms rest on his knees. His brown eyes were still trained on June, though. "He told me that he probably needs me for a special job. Yesterday afternoon he told me that he suddenly doesn't need me anymore, but whether it's okay if the kids stay with him anyway."

"And shortly after that, you got a call from Maria?" June asked presciently, hugging her bag that was now clamped between her legs and chest. She snorted through her nose as Happy just nodded and grunted, grinning to herself. "They really planned this through togetherᅳ that's actually pretty fuckin' clever."

Happy, still disappointed by his normally perfect instincts, just let out a raspy laugh. "I can't believe we fuckin' fell for it."

A light-hearted laugh fell from June's lips. "I think there are worse things. But it still stings."

"It does", grumbled Happy, rolling his toothpick from side to side while her laughter caused a bang in his chest. Oh, how much he missed that laugh. "You can head back home, I'll wait here for Ma."

"Are you sure?" June asked, not able to hide the slight disappointment in her soft voice when she heard that he was okay with her leaving again. "I mean..I could stay. I haven't seen Maria for a few weeks either."

Why the hell did she do that? A few days ago she wanted to file for divorce, even though deep down she didn't want to, and now she wanted to keep him company.

"Whatever." Happy stood up, letting the toothpick disappear into his jeans pocket. He sounded colder, almost dismissive, just like he always did when there were signs that the two might be getting closer again.

Happy looked into her eyes, into those beautiful blue eyes that were now filled with disappointment and a certain sadness. Fuck, he hated himself sometimes. But what should he do? It was clear to him that he wanted her back, but was it the right thing for his girls?

Guilt and worry were all that had plagued him for the past year, his fear stronger than his needs. Yet he just wanted to pull June close, bury his hand in her hair and taste her lips.

"Sorry", he grunted barely audibly, the lines in his face becoming noticeably stronger recently. The worries were not only weighing on him internally, but were also showing on the outside.

Without saying anything else, he went inside, always carrying his mother's key, and took off his boots before he closed the door behind him and walked into the living room. With a scowl, he flopped down onto the floral couch and ran a hand over his face, just waiting to hear June's car drive away.

But that didn't happen. Instead, a key turned in the hole and shortly after, he heard only muffled, soft footsteps approaching until June finally stopped right in front of him, her blue eyes filled with determinationᅳ and maybe a little anger sparkling in them too.

"Don't treat me like that, Happy", she began, her stern mom tone almost eliciting a grin from Happy, but her warning look and the scolding finger she held in his face stopped him. "We have to find a way to finally get along like two normal people again. Do you have any idea how Alanna's really feeling? How I'm feeling?"

"What about Alanna?" Any amusement in Happy's tone vanished, nothing but seriousness in his darkening eyes. As he shot up and stood so close to June that their faces almost touched, he heard his wife, who had to look up at him because she was only wearing sneakers, swallow. "How am I supposed to fuckin' know how my daughter, or you, is doing if no one talks to me, huh?!"

"Don't blame us for that", June hissed as she pulled herself together and straightened her shoulders to at least appear a little taller. "You promised her you'd never leave her, remember? But that's exactly what you did, just like her biological mother! And you expect her to just forget that and act like nothing ever happened?"

"I didn't leave her, I'm still here, damn it", Happy yelled right in her face before he ran both hands over his head and took a deep breath, his gaze directed out the window. Only when he had calmed down a little did he turn back to June, who just glared at him. "Did she say that? Does Alanna really think that?"

"What do you think? That I'm making shit like that up?" With an offended snort, June crossed her arms in front of her chest. "She mentioned something like that, yes. Jesus Hap, she hardly gets to see you anymore. I, and you know exactly what I mean, am not even her real mom and I'm still with her every dayᅳ how do you think she feels not seeing her father regularly after her mom already bailed on her?"

Although June had no problem with Alanna not seeing her biological mother. In her eyes, this woman was just cold-hearted after first refusing Happy to see his daughter, and then leaving Alanna neglected and completely emaciated in front of his door after she had found a new boyfriend only two months after the girl was born.

At least she had given up all rights so that only Happy could make decisions about Alannaᅳ and now June too, since she had adopted Alanna three years ago. That was the only reason the nine-year-old was allowed to stay with her after Happy and her had broken up.

Before Happy let out a low growl, he had swallowed the big lump in his throat. "I know I fuckin' failed, okay? And I have no idea how to prove to her that I'll never leave her just like that bitch did."

June's features softened. It was almost impossible for her to hold a grudge against the man who suddenly stood in front of her, desperate and overwhelmed. It was a sight that didn't really suit Happy, and June knew that Happy wasn't someone who would show such feelings unless he was really feeling like absolute shit.

"We'll find a way", she finally said calmly, letting her arms fall to her sides. "But you have to spend more time with the kids againᅳ they need you. And don't start telling me again that you're only putting them in danger by spending time with them."

Happy clenched his jaw hard, taking a step closer to June. "You think I could ever forgive myself if something happened to you or the kids because of me? I didn't make you leave you because I wanted to, woman!"

"And I didn't marry you to be left just because things got a little dicey", she countered stubbornly, her eyes locked with his. "I'm not like Tara who wants out, or like so many other women who can't cope with this lifestyle. You should know that."

"I never said you were like the others." Happy snorted through his nose, but her words stuck with him. "But I've already lost you anywayᅳ so what's the point of all the effort I'd go through to get you back?"

June shifted on her feet, swallowing quietly as she looked at him through her big doe eyes. "Does that mean you still want us? Me?"

Confused and agitated, the SAA stared at the petite woman. "Of course I do, June, what the hell kind of question is that?"

"Iᅳ" June stopped, bringing a hand back to her chest just like earlier. "Shit, Iᅳ I need a moment."

Her body slumped on the couch, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her breathing doubling in a matter of seconds. Her long, dark emerald green fingernails dug into her sensitive skin, leaving red marks.

"What's going on?!" Panic flashed in Happy's eyes as he crouched down in front of her and roughly cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "June, hey!" he barked, his panic rising when she didn't answer.

"Can't..can't breathe", her words nothing but a soft croak, she stared at him for help, her eyes wide with sheer panic. The fingers of one hand were wrapped around her neck as if she could make the situation better by that, the other still pressed against her chest. "Heart..I need a doctor, Hap."

"Fuck!" Without wasting any more time, Happy grabbed her bag and fished out her car keys before he picked up his gasping wife bridal style and stormed out of the house. It would take too long before an ambulance would make it here, he knew that from the several times he had called one for his mom in the past.

"I'll take you to the hospital, we'll be there in a minute", he explained while he ran and shortly afterwards opened the back door of the SUV with one hand while balancing her on his arms. "Stay awake, you hear me?!"

June's eyelids fluttered shut but she tried to nod to calm him down. She had only felt such pain once before and that was before her emergency surgery that she had needed to survive. But that was ten years ago and the pain from then had been forgottenᅳ until now.

"June, keep your fuckin' eyes open!" Happy completely losing his shit and the shaking as he practically threw her onto the back seat was the last thing she heard before she simply drifted away from pain and exhaustion.

word count; 3816

ᅳ

authors note; new character introduction below! I hope you're liking this story so far, I'd love to hear some feedback. 🤎

Maria Lowman
| seventy-one |
portrayed by Annie Potts