Naglakad kami palabas ng classroom at bumaba na rin ng building. Pagdating namin sa gate ay bumungad ang malaking grupo ng mga mag-aaral na naipon dito.

"Andiyan na sila Ma'am!" Sigaw ng isang mag-aaral. Ngumiti si Ma'am Johanna at sinenyasan si Ryan.

"Okay! So, let's get going, then!" She gave a nod to Ryan, "Ryan? Please lead us..."

With a smile, Ryan turned around and walked, beckoning the students to follow behind him as he advanced. Wala pa sigurong five minutes nakarating na rin kami sa building. I gazed at the huge structure in awe, amazed of its attractive architectural design.

Sa unang tingin palang mahahalata na agad na high-class ang building na ito. I respired in satisfaction and followed behind the other students as we went in the gate. Umakyat kami sa third floor at sa pagbukas ng door papasok sa hall, a sigh of fascination escaped my lips.

The hall looked so elegant, everything seemed to shine and glitter as we walked in. Nagha-hire siguro sila ng naglilinis dito kaya ganito kalinis ang hall. This could be rented for a Sunday service kung size at ganda lang ang usapan!

Each of us sat and settled down on the chairs. There was this atmosphere of excitement in the air, and with a discreet eye I counted our number. Woah, ilan kaya ang naidagdag ulit ngayon? Our number from the first session seem to have tripled!

A gush of joy overwhelmed my heart, but it wasn't very long when sorrow replaced it.

Sana, sana lang nandito pa ako para makita pa ang paglago ng Ministry na ito. Nakita kong lumapit si Gabriel at umupo sa tabi ko, maya-maya ay dumating naman si Leah at tumabi sakanya. I released a sigh and lowered my gaze.

Our attention was gathered as Ma'am Johanna began to speak, calling us all to prepare as she opened the activity in prayer.

Liningon ko si Gabriel, "Alam mo 'yong 'Christ is Enough'?"

Tumango siya at nagsimulang mag-strum, pumikit na rin ako at naghandang kumanta. For hours last night, this had been the song that kept repeating on my head. Ilang beses ko na bang nasabi ang 'No Turning Back'? Napakaraming beses na siguro. Pero ngayon, ngayon ko lang napagtanto na... anghirap pala.

"Christ is my reward,

And all of my devotion, ohh,"

Voices joined with me as I sang, and iba ay naglabas ng phone upang tignan ang lyrics ng kanta upang makasabay.

"And there nothing in this world,

That can ever satisfy, yeah,"

I kept my eyes shut, my heart in a storm of emotions as I sang each word.

"Through every trial,

My soul will sing

No turning back,

I've been set free!"

The guitar heightened in it's volume, and so did our voices. Hindi ko mapigilang mapatayo habang kinakanta ang bawat salita sa lyrics. I lifted my hands, voice heightening as I sang the chorus.

"Christ is enough for me,

Christ is enough for me,

Everything I need is in You

Everything I need!"

Without opening my eyes, I heard the stirring of chairs around me. The others had begun to stand too. We sang another round of the song, by this time wala nang may hawak ng lyrics, all hands were lifted in worship. Others had their head lowered, also singing along. I couldn't suppress the tears from my eyes, just looking at them and knowing I might not see them again gripped my being with sorrow.

"Christ is enough for me,

Christ is enough for me!

Everything I need is in You

Everything is I need!"

I shut my eyes once more, taking in a breath as we reached the song's bridge.

"I have decided to follow Jesus,

No turning back, No turning back!"

I lifted both my hands, arms in surrender as we continued to sing,

"The cross before me, the world behind me

No turning back, No turning back!"

Tears rolled down my eyes, pain strangling my throat as I sang each word. Lord, ang hirap! Ang hirap ng ganito. Ayokong umalis, ayoko talaga, Panginoon. My mouth clasped shut, tears flowing as I allowed the other students to sing on their own. Their voices echoed in the hall, each intensifying as every moment passed by.

"I have decided, to follow Jesus

No turning back, No turning back!

The cross before me, the world behind me

No turning back, no turning back!

I swallowed hard, joining in the free worship as the song came to an end. Shouts of praises were heard, those worshiping in tongues equally evident. I kept my hand lifted, singing in spontaneity along with the others.

"No Turning back, no turning back!"

Oo, tama nga. Ilang beses ko nang nasabi ito, but never once had I truly lived it.

"No turning back, no turning back..."

This time, Lord, I will not fail You. I will serve. I will serve and not turn back. Dito man... o sa Ifugao.

The fellowship ended with a blast, at dahil wala kami sa school, napatagal na rin ang prayer and intercession dahil wala namang cerfew. All prayed with much fervor, all the more making it hard for me to think I might not be able to be in such an activity again. Huminga ako ng malalim, pulling away from Rhoe as I sought for Ryan.

"Sa'n kaya CR nila dito?" Bulong ko kay Rhoe.

"Ay 'di ko rin alam eh," inilibot niya ang tingin, "Tanungin mo si Bro Ryan,"

"Oo sige," I took a step forward, glancing around the student filled hall in search for the man's face. "Hintayin mo ako ha,"

Ngumiti si Rhoe at sa pagtango niya naglakad na akong palayo, looking for Ryan among the group. Natanaw ko siyang kausap ni Dana. Agad akong lumapit at nagtanong.

"Ah," Hinawakan niya ang braso ko at naglakad, "Through this pathway, Grace,"

Sumunod lang ako nang magsimula siyang maglakad. Grabe, angtangkad din nito. Talaga ngang may lahi siyang foreigner. No'ng ipinakilala niya ang father niya kanina, kitang-kita na hindi ito Pilipino. Australian daw sila, at dahil nag-asawa ng Filipina ang father niya, dito na sila tumira.

He pointed towards a door on the end of the corridor and smiled. "Dito ang door pababang bathroom, Sis."

"Thank you." I smiled and opened the door, following the stairs that lead downstairs as I closed the door behind me. Mga six steps siguro bago ko marating ang isang enclosure. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad at nagtaka ng may marinig na mga boses. I paused momentarily and resumed my steps. Laking gulat ko nang sa pagliko ko ay bumungad saakin sila Leah at Gabriel. Gabriel's back was against the wall, both hands upon Leah's shoulder as her palm caressed his face.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko, swallowing in embarrassment as I processed what I saw.

"Grace?" I heard Gabriel speak.

Dali-dali akong tumalikod at tumakbong paakyat sa hagdan. I heard his voice behind me, and before I knew it, a hand took hold of my wrist. "Grace, it's not what you think."

"H-hala, sorry." Sambit ko, my gaze away from him as I spoke, "Nadistorbo ko yata kayo. S-sige balik ka na do'n," I pulled my hand away and walked in haste, ignoring his voice as I opened the the door.

Ando'n parin si Ryan, I looked away and panted for breath.

"Grace, are you okay?" Tanong niya.

"Ah-"

"Grace, ple-" Natigilan si Gabriel nang makita si Ryan. Immediately, I clung to Ryan's arm. Pulling him away frantically. I felt my heart tighten. Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata. No, now is not the time for this.

I released a heavy breath, mind in a mess as I thought of what I just saw. Dahan-dahan kong binitawan si Ryan nang makabalik na kami sa hall.

"What happened, Grace?" I gazed up, recognizing the concern in the man's eyes.

"W-wala naman, Bro," I forced a smile, "Thank you, nga pala,"

Slowly I turned around and walked back to Rhoe. The heaviness remained in my heart, intensifying the anxiety I felt over my Cousin's word. Bumuntong-hininga ako at umiling. Stop this, Grace - what nonsense! What right do you have to feel this way?

My gaze remained downcast, eating in silence among my cousin's family. Naka-upo kami ngayon sa dinner table. For the first time sa ilang buwan kong pag-stay dito, kumpleto ang pamilya nilang kumain.

"So Grace," narinig kong sabi ng ni Kuya Dan, "Siguro naman napag-isipan mo na ang sinabi ko?"

Napalunok ako at tinignan siya, "Opo, Kuya. Napag-isipan ko na nga po."

"Hmm," he took a sip of water and gazed at me intently, "So what is your decision,"

Huminga ako ng malalim, composing in my mind what to say. "I can't give up the ministry, Kuya," sagot kong nakatungo,"I can't sacrifice my service to God."

Silence filled our midst, and with this, I lifted my gaze up to him. My heart throbbed against my chest, apprehension overwhelming my being.

I heard him scoff, "Seryoso ka ba, Grace?" He shook his head, "You will give up your opportunity for education just for this make-believe God?"

My brows furrowed. I won't go this far if my God was a make-believe entity.

I took in a breath and nodded, lowering my gaze as I heard his displeased laugh.

"Fine then, have it your way," ibinalik niya ang tingin sa plato at ipinagpatuloy ang pagkain, "begin packing your stuff."

"Dan naman," nagsalita si Ate Marla, "you can't do this. This is too much!"

The man ignored her word, gazing towards me with a glare, "pack your things now. I want you out of this house by Sunday."